How am I still alive? It doesn't feel like I should be. I've been in the Gamemaker's death trap known as the Arena for two days. That's not even one day for each person I've killed to still be here. They say the arena changes you. I've tried hard to stay me, but I now understand. Even if I get out of here, I will never be the same, not after experiencing what I have, after seeing what I have, after seeing the light leave someone's eyes and know that it's your fault. You can't stay the same unless you were already a monster, and that's what I feel like now; a monster. I should be dead. I deserve it. I feel awful right now, though, so maybe I am dead. Am I dead? I should be.

My eyes open slowly to see the top of my tent at the Career camp. Nope. Not dead. Not yet, at least. I try to sit up, and nearly fall back down again. My shoulder and thighs are burning with pain, though not as much as before. I wiggle my legs a bit and almost want to cry. Fantastic. I can't run.

At least the wolf got my left shoulder and not my right. I think, testing out my shoulder too. I definitely couldn't throw with that, not yet. I look around my tent. All my stuff's in here, my knives, my spears, my trident, and my backpack. After a scary thought, I reach into my pocket and fish around. Phew. The snowmobile keys are still there. Next to me, is something new though. A silver parachute attached to a canister. I grin, a sponsor gift! We have sponsors! I open it eagerly, and almost sigh in relief. Thank you so much, Finnick. It looks like some kind of cream, but I know it's so much more. In the Capitol, they can cure almost anything. I sigh in relief as I apply the medicine to my shoulder. I can almost feel the wound closing, my pain seeping away. I do the same for my legs and smile. I'll be up and running in a day, two max. I lean back in my sleeping bag and relax. Who knows when I'll be able to do that again, right?

That's when I hear the whispers.

It's the Careers, outside. I notice that it's dark out, but not too dark, like the sun just set. That means that the death recap will be happening soon.

"She's injured. We can't keep injured tributes around here! She'll just eat up our food and steal our medicine away!" I hear a familiar hiss, and I freeze. Shine.

"No! We're not killing off my friend just because she got hurt. Saving us, I might add." Relief fills me again. Cass is out there, he won't let them kill me like that. Besides, I'll be fine soon.

"I agree." I hear a strong voice add and I smile. Tiana. "Besides she's got that medicine, she'll be up and good to go in a day, maybe two at most. That's strong stuff they sent her."

"Plus, we'd end up with four Volunteers left out of fourteen tributes. Why would we get rid of one of our own so soon? It's only the third day!" I almost want to laugh when this final voice chimes in. Gray. I'd love to see the look on Shine's face when everyone took my side over hers, including her district partner. I can almost feel her anger from here.

"Fine. She stays." I hear stomping outside, getting closer to my tent, then something hits the side of the tent. "Get up!" She growls. I look at the side of the tent and a chill goes through my body, and not because of the cold. There's a knife tip stuck in the side of my tent.

"Someone has anger management problems." I mutter as I unzip the other side of the tent and walk over the rest of the group.

"What was that?" Shine asks from the other side of the group.

"Oh, nothing." I say, smirking, as Tiana tries to control her laughter. Cassius glances at me and gives me a sort of forced smile, then looks away quickly. I wonder what's up with him.

I nudge his shoulder, "Hey, what's going on?"

Just then, the Capitol anthem begins to play, saving me from any of Shine's snide remarks and Cassius from having to give me an answer. Kya's face shines in the sky, smiling happily, nothing like the girl I saw. Tiana looks over at me and gives me a grateful smile. I guess she's thinking about how that could have easily been her. The cannon earlier, we find out, was for the girl from Twelve. It says her name was Camille. I frown for a moment, remembering when that happened. I'm sure the Gamemakers would have only wanted one mutt attack at a time, otherwise the Capitol audience wouldn't be able to…enjoy it all. So it wasn't them, and it wasn't the Careers either, seeing they were all busy trying to not get killed. I wonder what happened to her.

The sky goes dark again. Two deaths on day two. I see Cassius glance back up at the sky and wince, as if he's feeling the pain that those two girls felt. I walk up to him again. "You okay?" It takes him a while to focus on me, and when he finally does, his eyes look clouded and unfocused. He nods slowly, likes he's taking the time to remember what the movement is. "Fine. Listen, I…I need to talk to you about -"

"Hey! Cassius! You're doing first shift!" Gray yells over to him. He repeats what he did with me, looking over, then nodding slowly. "Sure." He looks back at me, but not really. More like he's looking past me. "Maybe later." He glances up the mountain and sighs. "I wish I had more time…to figure it out…"

"Figure what out?" I ask.

He shakes his head. "Later. Goodnight Alexis." He walks over to the front of his tent and sits down, staring up at the fake stars in the sky. "Why do they bother…"

"What?" He looks over in surprise, and realizes I'm still standing there.

"Making it so beautiful."

I shrug a little, glancing at the sky. "I don't know."

"I think I do." he says, nodding knowingly but not looking anywhere in particular.

"What do you think?" I ask, walking over to him.

He stands, and whispers in my ear. "To hide how ugly it really is."

I'm shocked. It's not like you can really go around saying this like that normally, but not here. Especially not here.

Cassius goes back to his post and lies down, staring at the sky. "Stars…" he whispers. "Stars…"

Okay, something's definitely weird here. I think, walking back to my tent. I lie down in my sleeping bag and close my eyes again, with one clear thought in my head. Cassius knows something, and I intend to get it out of him.

THE FALLEN

Demetri, District Two Male, killed by Titus (D6) in the Bloodbath on DAY ONE

Pascale, District Three Female, killed by Gray (D1) in the Bloodbath on DAY ONE

Jane, District Five Female, killed by Alexis (D4) in the Bloodbath on DAY ONE

Darryn, District Five Male, killed by Cara (D11) in the Bloodbath on DAY ONE

Kya, District Six Female, killed by Gamemakers' chasm on DAY TWO

Nico, District Eight Male, killed by Shine (D1) in the Bloodbath on DAY ONE

Heather, District Nine Female, killed by Shine (D1) in the Bloodbath on DAY ONE

Blake, District Ten Male, killed by Alexis (D4) in the Bloodbath on DAY ONE

Cara, District Eleven Female, killed by Alexis (D4) in the Bloodbath on DAY ONE

Camille, District Twelve Female killed by Titus (D6) on DAY TWO

Total: 10, 14 Remaining

(And those remaining are...)*

Shine D1

Gray D1

Tiana D2

Jayden D3

Cassius D4

Alexis D4

Titus D6

Willow D7

Ash D7

Jasmine D8

Spencer D9

Avery D10

Aaron D11

Damien D12