Gail finally comes home to Holly, and what's a girl to do?

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I am putting the finishing touches on my article for The Journal of Modern Forensic Science when someone knocks on my door. It's late, just after ten, and I wonder who it could be. I put down my laptop, take off my glasses and rub my tired eyes. The knock sounds again as I get up to answer the door. I do hope everyone is ok! My neighbors wouldn't be knocking on my door this late unless there was some kind of an emergency, and Gail has a key. I haven't seen her since the night she came home, and I miss her with a constant ache. I open the door to find her there looking like what the proverbial cat dragged in. She is leaning heavily on the door jam, her dress uniform is rumpled, the jacket is lying on the floor at her feet, and her eyes are closed. Has she been crying? My heart breaks a little as I reach for her hands.

"Gail? "

She flinches slightly at my touch, but makes no further attempt to pull away.

"How can you be nice to me Holly? I know you must have read the FBI report by now, so I came here to do this in person. I owe you that much." She says in a bleak voice without opening her eyes.

"Come inside, you look exhausted!" I say softly.

"I can't." She says as silent tears begin to leak out from under her still closed lids.

"Yes, Gail, you can!" I insist, tugging gently on her hands.

"I know how you must hate me. And I've been here before, and I know how this ends…" She begins

"Gail, what are you talking about? I ask, becoming slightly annoyed.

"I slept with Luc, I betrayed you, and now you're going to leave me, aren't you?" She continues.

"No. And no, I don't hate you. I think we can work through this like adults, if that's what you want. I love you, and I have missed you terribly every day! Now come inside!" I pull her into my apartment and close the door behind us.

"You do? You have?" the vulnerability in her eyes as she opens them makes me melt a little. Ok, a whole lot.

"Of course I still love you! I know that you are hurting right now. But Gail, I refuse to be an instrument you use to punish yourself with! I know that you think I should be angry with you, but frankly, I'm simply relieved and grateful that you came home!" I spurt out at her. What is it about Gail that makes me word vomit? I can't bring myself to say I was afraid she was dead when she disappeared.

I lean forward to kiss her gently, but now that my lips are on hers, and we are alone for the first time in months, the fierceness of my body's reaction surprises even me. Sparks fly as our lips ignite a wildfire that rages through us both. I suck her tongue into my mouth, hungry for all of her. Her hands slide under my shirt and palm my breasts roughly, causing me to moan and bite her lower lip.

She pulls away for a moment. I can tell she is fighting for control. Her eyes are a wide, deep blue, filled with longing and sadness.

"Holly," She says breathlessly, "I don't know if I can do this…"

"Well…um…ok…" I run my hand nervously through my hair "don't you want me anymore?" I hear myself ask in a pathetic little voice.

"No.. no… Holly, it's…that's not it…" She says slowly

"Ok… well…you know what? Come here!" I grab her arm and practically drag her to the bedroom. She follows compliantly and sits on the bed. I want to get her to talk to me somewhere she can feel safe.

"Holly, do you think you will ever be able to forgive me?" Gail asks in a tiny voice

"Oh Babe, I am not the one who needs to forgive you, you are." I sigh

"Why do you say that when I cheated on you?" She closes her eyes in pain.

"Listen, I talked with Dov when we were looking for you, and I will never really know what you had to endure. Although I am not happy about the fact that you entered into a sexual relationship, you did it in order to obtain vital information. You did what you had to do in order to stop Dufort from selling young girls into slavery, or worse. I've been doing autopsies on them. If you hadn't done that, how many more would have died? And you did it, you saved them! I am so proud of you Gail, I think you were very brave." I say quietly

I can tell that this is not at all what she expected to hear. She looks at me with her head cocked to one side, brows knitted, taking it all in. She finally sighs wearily and continues.

"What is wrong with me? I had sex with him and then I killed him. I can't get that out of my head!" Gail says looking at her knees.

"You testified that you were afraid that he was going to kill you as soon as you reached international waters. Do you want to tell me about what happened?" I reach out and put a hand on Gail's arm.

"I don't know Holly, I overheard him talking to the Italian First Mate about shooting me and throwing my body overboard because I knew too much. I had been collecting evidence on the disappearance of his last girlfriend, Janelle Van Ness, off the coast of Mexico last spring. I'm pretty sure that's what happened to her. I can't bring her home, but at least I can tell her family what I know. He was an evil and violent man, and I would not have killed him if I thought there was any chance he would have let me live." Gail replies.

"Gail," I say looking at her intently, "You did everything you could to survive. Even the Justice Department ruled your killing him as a form of self-defense. I would be so angry right now if you had gone and gotten yourself killed!"

I get up gracelessly remove my clothes and slip naked between the sheets. I pat the bed next to me and she crawls in, still fully dressed. I open my arms to her; she plasters herself to me, hugging me in a vice-like grip, her body ridged as the tears begin to come. The first sob breaks with a ragged giant gulp of air. Sobs wrack her body, quietly at first, and then with whimpers and moans that grow in to the crescendo of a wail. It takes a while before her tears are spent, and she is asleep in my arms.

It is still dark when I wake up alone. I look up to check the time and see her silhouette standing against the dim light of the window.

"Hey Gail," I call softly to her

She turns in my direction, arms crossed over her chest. "Hey." She replies

"Come back to bed." I venture

She slides back under the covers. She is naked this time. Her skin feels like liquid gold, and the wildfire is back, quickly burning out of control. She rolls on top of me kissing me tenderly. My body responds immediately as her tongue enters my mouth. It splits me open with a savage force that I return in kind. I run my hands up her back and then down to cup the cheeks of her butt, spreading them wider, pulling her down to ride on my thigh. As she bears down, my fingertips brush against her wet heat. Her body rubs insistently on mine. There is hunger in our lips, and necessity in our touch. Our tongues battle franticly, fanning the wildfire into burning everything in its path. Gail tastes of lipstick, and longing so fierce I am completely undone. My hips rise against her, matching her ardent, unrelenting rhythm. She spreads her legs wider still, moaning into my mouth. She snakes her hand between us seeking entrance to the rampant inferno between my legs. I welcome her in, as I enter her with my thumb from behind. Our bodies dance and strain, slick with sweat and desire. I want her so much!

"Oh God, Holly," She whispers breathlessly in my ear, "you make me so fucking hot I can't slow down…"

"Good!" I pant, and lean in to suck the skin on the underside of her jaw

"I can't stop! I'm going to cum!" She groans with some effort

"Don't stop!" is all I can manage before I feel her body freeze and contract. As she screams out my name it pushes me over the edge with her. The wildfire rages, reducing me to smoke, and ash, and dust as I am engulfed by an orgasm so big, my eyes roll back in my head and I literally see white. And now it's my turn to sob as she holds me like I am the most precious thing on earth.

Sunlight filters through the window illuminating Gail's hair and skin, making her glow. I love watching her sleep. She is so beautiful, and I can't believe she's finally back! I don't want to get up and leave her here by herself, but hunger drives me into the kitchen. I am standing at the kitchen counter filling up the coffee maker thinking about pancakes, when I feel Gail's lips on the back of my neck. She moves so quietly in her bare feet, she always takes me by surprise.

"I don't know what I ever did to deserve you, but no one has every loved me like you do!" Gail whispers in my ear, slipping an arm around my waist. She sighs, "And I love you back, more than I can say."

She pulls me close and rests her cheek on my shoulder. I am amazed at this spontaneous display of pure affection! It warms me from within and makes me believe that somehow, we are going to be alright.