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Snow is falling in clumps as we walk to the hardware store, arms linked, hands fisted inside of mittens in our pockets in a vein attempt to ward off the cold. Gail's eyes sparkle with childish glee in the slit between her fur aviator's hat and the thick wool scarf wrapped around her nose. She is out again on paid leave after a shoot out that resulted in one of the biggest drug busts of the year. When she returned to work just over a month ago, Steve insisted on taking her under his wing, at least temporarily. Guns and Gangs are proud of her and of themselves. Although she won't admit it, I can tell she is clearly relieved that the bullet from her gun only wounded the man she shot. The weather and the holidays are wreaking havoc on her ability to make the appointments that will get her re-instated for active duty, but for right now, she is taking the extra time off as a gift. Steve is on paid leave too, making our time alone at a premium. I never realized, until now, just how much mayhem the Peck siblings could create if left to their own devices. Just yesterday, Traci jokingly complained that if the two of them had not left Leo in a state of exhaustion, which made him go to bed without complaining once about his bedtime, she might have to limit their time with him. They had taken him to play laser tag in the snow after they discovered you have to be at least sixteen to play paint ball. Afterward they took him to the arcade, and then appeared in the door of my lab laughing and fighting like naughty children, making Leo giggle at their antics. Steve insisted on driving my car to pick up Traci, his own car was with her at the precinct, and then taking us all out for Chinese in-spite of the blizzard warning. He gave Leo the front seat with a wink in Gail's direction as we climbed into the back. Gail smacked him on the back of his head for looking to see what we were doing by checking on us in the rear view mirror when we stopped at a red light.
The snowstorm blowing off the lake began again in earnest last night. Deep drifts muffled the usual urban noise, and blanketed the city in a thick white shroud that the plows were having difficulty keeping pace with. People were advised to keep off of the streets and stay indoors as much as possible. Gail had pulled me from the sanctuary of my warm, cozy bed this morning with a mug of coffee and a rare impish grin that continued in her eyes. I protested, in a halfhearted fashion, but her enthusiasm was not to be denied. Now, here we were trudging through knee-deep drifts, with Gail on a mission. Soon, we stepped onto a freshly cleared and sanded sidewalk and through the front door of Ferguson's Hardware and General Store.
"What are we doing here? " I ask as she parks me on a bench at the front of the store by a potbellied woodstove and a canning display. The stove gleams black, and radiates heat that makes me want to melt into a happy, sleepy puddle.
"You'll see!" I could hear her smile even before she unwraps her scarf. "Now stay there!" She commands.
"Yes officer!" I reply with a smirk
"Shut up!" She laughs, and disappears down one of the dimly lit aisles that is jam-packed with everything from fishing rods, to chicken wire, to plumbing supplies.
She returns shortly, carrying an old fashioned Radio Flyer sled under one arm and a large paper bag in the other hand. She hands me the latter with a grin as she strides for the door.
"Don't even think about opening that yet! And hold it level." she quips
I am surprised at the amount of warmth coming through the paper along with a tantalizing aroma of roasted nuts, caramelized sugar and popcorn that make my mouth water.
"Coming?" She demands from the doorway
Her new sled perches on the edge of the hill. She sits down on the back, motioning for me to join her. I carefully hand her the bag and sit down in front, cozying my back into her chest. I feel her twist and hear the bag crinkle open.
"Careful. Take off your mittens." She hands me a small paper cup with steam rising from the hole in the cover. I take a tentative sip to discover hot chocolate laced with cinnamon schnapps that seems to warm me all the way down to my toes. The mystery bag lands between my legs, and Gail pulls me closer as she reaches around to grab a generous handful of warm kettle corn with maple-roasted cashews mixed in.
"Steve and I used to do this when we were kids." She begins, "If we had a snow day off from school, we would grab our sleds and head for this hill."
The kettle corn is warm and delicious. "I thought you said you didn't do sports." I tease.
Gail laughs, "Ya' know Holly, if eating Mr. Ferguson's special Kettle Corn and drinking cinnamon schnapps is a sport, then Steve and I should be on the Olympic Team!"
She pulls me closer and rests her chin on my shoulder. I turn to catch her lips in mine. She tastes like cinnamon and chocolate and something sweet that is uniquely Gail. She works a bare hand under my jacket and onto my skin, her fingertips finding their way under the waistband of my pants as she deepens the kiss. I sigh and nearly spill my coco. She laughs softly pressing the cold, bright red velvet of her cheek to mine.
"Careful." She whispers into my ear. Her breath is warm and gives me goosebumps.
"Careful yourself." I smile and run my fingertips along the inseam of her thighs. I feel her breath hitch as I do.
"Keep it up and you might just send us both prematurely over the edge before we get to finish our snack." I can hear the smirk in her voice as she says this.
The hill is long and steep before us. Our breath comes out in white puffs as we laugh. We sit drinking our coco and eating kettlecorn in silence for a while, looking out over the tops of trees and at the city below. When we are done Gail takes our empty cups, folds them into the bag and stuffs them into her jacket.
"Are you ready?" She asks, a note of reckless glee in her voice.
I take a deep breath, "As I will ever be." I smile
She picks up the rope to help her steer and pushes off. The world flies by in a breathless rush of adrenaline, falling snow, and laughter as Gail maneuvers skillfully around rocks and trees. And then it's over much too fast, as we skid to a halt by a playground I never knew existed. She gets up, pulls me to my feet and into her arms. There is snow clinging to her hat and to her eyelashes.
"Thank you!" She says softly as she leans in to kiss me.
"For what?" I ask as we pull apart.
"For everything." She smiles shyly "I never thought I could be this happy."
"Then thank you too!" I reply
"There is one more thing." She says as she leads me through the park and out to a parking lot where I see her car.
"You've been planning this for a while, haven't you." I say
"Uh huh." She answers smugly.
Twenty minutes later, we are sitting in a neighborhood not too far from Gail's apartment. She rummages for a moment in the glovebox of her car and pulls out a set of keys. As she dangles them in the air between us, I feel myself flush and my heart begin to pound against my ribs as the implication hits me.
"Come with me!" She gets out of the car.
I follow her to the house, down five shallow steps onto a slate patio. The house is low and modern, built in the fifties or sixties. She opens the massive wood door and steps into a slate tiled entrance. It leads into a large, open, living space with high ceilings, built-in bookshelves, and a huge stone fireplace that dominates the house. Floor to ceiling sliding glass doors open out onto a deck with a hot tub and a built in stone oven and grill. The place is all dark wood, and glass, slate, and brass, with huge windows that let in lots of light. There is a large eat-in kitchen, a formal dining room, a small den, and four bedrooms up three stairs and down a hall. She stands in the middle of the living room fidgeting nervously with the keys as I explore.
"Well…?" She inquires as I return.
"Wow, this is amazing!" I begin
"Good. It made me think of you when I saw it." She says shyly.
"I do love it." I reply.
"But?" She asks in a small voice.
"I don't know Gail, it's a big step." I say softly.
"I'm sorry." She looks at the floor "Maybe this was a dumb idea. Listen, we can just forget it…"
"I didn't say no." I say firmly, stepping in to pull her to me by her belt loops. "I love the idea of living here with you! Four bedrooms, huh?"
"Uh huh." She breathes out and leans her forehead against mine. "You know… just incase…"
I smile and stroke her cheek with my thumb, "Yeah, yeah I do."
The air is thick and brittle between us. I can feel every breath, every heartbeat. We have never talked about having kids, or even pets, or the possibility of owning a home together, and we have only looked at apartments in the past. I know she asked me to be her plus one forever, but this is huge! I can feel the depth and weight of her eyes as she waits for me to speak.
"You know, we don't have to do this now… I just thought with the raise I got for all that undercover work.. But I get it if you don't…" Her voice is soft and pitched higher than it should be. She takes a deep jagged breath and I realize she is trying not to cry. She is looking at the floor again. "Anyway, you don't have to decide right now, I mean I have three days to say yes or no…"
"Gail," I turn her face to mine. "I said I love the idea of living here with you. There wasn't a but or a no in that sentence." And I kiss her hard because that's what she needs, because that's what we do to make each other stop with stupid questions and insecurities. "You just took me by surprise. Let's do this!" I whisper holding on to her arms, her face just inches from my own.
She leans in to kiss me again and I taste the salt of her tears. "I never thought I could have this." She says softly.
"Have what?" I ask in an equally hushed tone.
"You know. This." She gestures briefly with her hand.
"What." I say again with a smile creeping on to my face, because I want to hear her say it.
"You know," She's beginning to sound frustrated in a way I find adorable. "This. You know, the whole ball of wax. A home of my own with, with, well you know, someone… Come on Holly! Are you really going to make me say this?" She sees my smile and starts to laugh.
"Uh huh." I feel my smile getting impossibly bigger.
"Jesus, Holly, you are such a dork!" She is smiling back at me.
I break my resolve. "Yes, but I am your dork." I watch her eyes become round as I say this.
"Mine." She repeats softly.
"Yes," I say firmly "All yours."
She grabs me so fiercely it knocks the breath from my chest.
"But you knew that." I murmur as she clings to me like she's never letting go.