Chapter 12: Undyne v. Naruto II

Naruto reached for the first thing he could clasp his sweaty hand around and ran down the bleach green hall. He slid to a stop by the door where Undyne statured herself.

"What're you doing here?!"

Naruto immediately noticed Undyne wasn't in her iconic armoire anymore but in casual attire. Just jeans, a tank top, and oversized red boots. 'Damn her...how am I supposed to concentrate on anything when she's like this?!' "—Human!" Undyne snapped. "I know we're not in the best place for fighting. but that doesn't we can't do it!"

Undyne fabricated two spears and gave the other one to Naruto. "What're you giving me this for?!"

"Idiot, you can't fight me with one of Alphys' freaking history books! Just point it already and-"

"U-Undyne! And the...and the HUMAN?!"

Undyne glanced at Naruto, huffing upon sight. "Alphys,"

"Alphys huh?! Are you the one who's been recording me this entire time?" Naruto grumbled.

'He's even better in real life!' The stout yellow lizard pushed back her glasses while furiously mumbling something. "...who me, n-no! I don't know what you're talking about…um...uh...hey you like ramen, don't you?"

"You have some?!"

Alphys nodded, gesturing to a stove across from the monitor. "It's by the stove-oh Undyne, you two should cook ramen together!"

"WHAT?! Me cook with the enemy I rather-" Alphys gave Undyne of those looks, you know, the one you can't refuse or you'll feel like a jerk. "F-fine." Undyne's shoulders sunk as she dragged herself to the stove where Naruto was eagerly waiting.

Undyne bent down, she took out a pot from the cabinet, filled it with water, and set it on the stovetop. She turned the stove knob to the highest temperature, then looked back at Naruto. "Wait for it to bubble, then put the ramen thing in, ok?" Naruto blankly stared at Undyne, her contrastingly mellow voice caught him off-guard. "...yeah...whatever."

"Do you have something to say, human?"

Naruto stuttered. "M-me?!"

"There's no other human in this room."

"Oh uh yeah. What's your favorite...color?"

Undyne, surprised the human asked something so casual, readied with a toothy smirk. "The color of human blood," She chuckled at Naruto's sudden paleness. "Heh, I'm kidding!"

Her eyes met the floor. "It's yellow #FFDD48."

"I would've just said yellow, but you had to get all specific like that you really are a weirdo."

"It's not like I want my favorite color to be affiliated with your yellow highlighter hair...oh, I just remembered something," Undyne pulled a metal star from her boot, she handed it Naruto. "I hate to admit it, but you ninja have great aim, it almost makes me feel bad that'll I'll have to murder you later after this. I hope you can show me again why I hate ninja in the first place."

Naruto leaned back on the counter in defeat. "You know, I didn't really need any one of your stupid spears, 'cause awesome ninja like me could've beaten you with only a comic book!"

"That's nothing, I could beat you bare handed!"

"You wanna bet?!"

"I'll mop your blood across the floor!"

*pop

*bubble

"—It's ready."

"Should I uh,"

"Yeah."

Naruto tossed the ramen cake inside the pot. He read the wrapper. "We have to wait three minutes 'till it's ready."

"Three minutes? I can make it three seconds."

Undyne forced the knob past its limit, effectively breaking off the knob. "...oh crud." She threw the broken knob to Naruto and he threw it back. "I don't want that thing!" He hoarsely hissed.

"This is all your fault!"

"How is it my fault?!"

"You wanted the goddamn ramen!"

"You were the one who broke the knob!"

"Because you wanted the ramen!"

"But-ah, Undyne LOOK!"

The stove top was blazing and spewing tongues of fire and coughing thick, black smoke that shrouded the room. "OH MY GOD! Alphys is gonna be so mad at you!"

"AT ME?! BUT-"

"SHUT UP AND FIND THE FIRE EXTINGUISHER!"

Naruto scrambled into the main hall, he scoured the lab for any signs of fire extinguishers. 'Whereisitwhereisitwhereisitwhereisitwhere...damn it, I can't find it anywhere!'

Alphys walked out of the bathroom to find Naruto under her desk. "What're you doing?"

"Do you know where the fire extinguisher is?!"

"Why would you nee..." Naruto pointed to the quickly escalating fire across from them. "...ah...oh..." He hit his head on the desk in a rush to get to Alphys' when she fainted on the floor

His rising frustration was swelling faster than the fire. 'Uhh, this is bad. I have to get her out of here.' He tried dragging Alphys to the door, stopping when he found there as well fire scratching at it to get outside.

"Now what-Now what?!"

A distinctly robotic voice emerged from all the panic. "When will they ever learn from their mistakes?" The lab was covered in a blanket of white foam. "This is the third fire this week."

Naruto suddenly got lifted into the air, the door sliding seconds after. "All you shounen main characters are so stupid." He landed on the ash decorated ground outside of the lab. He got himself while muttering curse words under his breath. 'Damn that shitty calculator!'

'And here she comes!' Naruto stepped back when Undyne got thrown out of the lab. Although she roughly landed on the ground, she brushed it off and stood up like it were nothing. "I'm so tired of looking at that dumb face of yours, ngah...c'mere human. Let's end it right here and right now!" She manifested a spear in hand. "Go ahead, I'll let you take the first hit!"

His feet moved, hands in a tight ball, every second he endured in the waterfall, constantly in fear of Undyne would be relieved in this one punch. 'I hope this works…' Naruto's fist relapsed to his side, replacing it with a wide sneer. "Just kidding. Only weaklings would hit first."

Undyne's threatening glare dimmed into a blank stare. "Weakling?" She repeated slowly. "What's with this boost of confidence suddenly? Grew a few inches overnight or something? I'm giving you a chance to take firs—"

*wham

One punch, one weak punch, was all it took for Undyne to understand what the blonde-headed human wanted. She twirled her spear around then lodged it in the ground.

Naruto's eyes widened. "It's your turn now, aren't you going to fight me?!"

"If nin-...humans on the surface are anything like you, I guess they must be pretty big softies. Who taught you how to punch anyways, a baby? Here;" She cracked her webbed knuckles. "Let me show you what a real punch is!"

OoO

'Ugh, what happened?' Alphys thought the moment she woke up. "Oh Mettaton wait wha-" She frantically looked around, remembering why she fainted, she gawked at Mettaton's computerized surface. "You put out the fire didn't you...was anything badly damaged?"

"Nothing except for your stove—and a third of your laboratory, but nothing overly important."

*SMASH

"Oh my god! What was that?!" Alphys saw pieces of smashed rock scattered on the scratched the floor along with parts of her door blown out. 'What now?!' She scurried towards the door.

A giant crater found its place under Undyne's feet. She, Naruto, and Alphys all shared the same dumbstruck expression.

"...A...Alph...ys..." Undyne stammered, she ended her sentence with a sigh. "I'm sorry for everything. We would've had a perfect time together if I didn't mess everything up."

"No, no, it's...it's okay, you don't need to apologize, I'm just glad you came, Undyne."

"...well if you need somewhere to stay my place is always un-burnt."

'Un-Undyne's asking me to come to her place to live...ALONE!' "R-real—"

"Enough, enough," Mettaton said, wagging an ash coated finger. "You'll have time for that later. Right now, you guys need to clean the lab up."

Naruto shook his head. "I'll do that later, I...have something else I need to in Snowdin, it won't take long, I promise."

The lights on Mettaton's keyboard briefly flickered from red and yellow. 'I shouldn't engage the human, not yet while everyone's so buddy-buddy with the thing. What a shame, I was hoping to quiz him to death right about now. That'll have to wait, I guess.' "If that the case, then Undyne I want you to take him through the quick way, otherwise he'll take four months to get back. Alphys I want you to come with me, we have a show to run!"

"...I forgot it's already time for that..." Alphys said under her breath. "Right, well then um, bye guys! Please come back soon!"

OoO

"What is this?" Naruto asked, stepping into a degraded boat.

"It's a boat you idiot."

"I know that! I've just never seen this place before," He pointed to the cloaked figure standing in a hunched position on the hull. "Who's that person?"

Undyne shrugged. "Hey, River person, take us to Snowdin."

They found their place on the rotted wood and the boat began moving along the shallow stream. "Tra la la. Did you ever hear the old song coming from the sea?" The River person bellowed.

Naruto glanced at Undyne who reciprocated with another shrug. A long silence dragged on between them until Undyne finally said something. "Why do you even want to go to Snowdin?"

"I wanna find Kid, I know he's there."

Undyne scratched her sides and tried thinking of where she heard the name 'Kid'. "Oh yeah, that one. Now that I think about it, you two used to be around each other a lot," His eyes were sulking and his smile deflated. "What happened?"

"You're the one who stalks me, you should know."

"It's not stalking!"

"Then what is it?!"

"Professional prolonged glancing."

"You made that up..." Naruto held his breath and clenched his knees. "Fine...he knows I'm a human now, alright, there."

'Monster kid's pretty damn stupid, I'm not surprised it took 'em this long to figure it out.' "I think that's really sweet, I'm guessing you're the type of human in those historical documentaries that go through hell and back for a single friend. They've always been my favorite characters."

"...I just don't want our friendship to end over something stupid like that."

"Kid's never actually met a sort of ok human before," She rubbed her arm. "They've only met the really bad kind, but if you talk to the little guy, things should get better."

"Yeah."

"...So are you still up for a real with me after all of this over and you save everyone's asses?"

Naruto smiled. "Yeah!"

The boat stopped, Naruto and Undyne stepped out and Snowdin greeted them generously with its winter environment. They passed a family of pebbles and a wolf lunging ice cubes into the water until they were at the main centre. "Do you see Kid anywh—"

"HIIIIIIII You GUYSSS!" Papyrus yelled. He took wider strides than usual to get to them faster and ended up falling in the snow which Undyne got a few laughs from. "Papyrus, have you seen Monster Kid 'round here?" She asked when he finally reached them.

Papyrus unraveled his scarf and shook some of the extra snow stuck in the folds. "Monster kid? Uhhm..."

"They're like a walking mustard container."

"I know who that it is! They probably went back to Snowdrake's house, the one behind all the trees and by the rock family."

*knock-knock

The door creaked open and a yellow beak popped out, then their head. "If you're looking for Snowdrake he...! Kid you have to come see this, Undyne, head of the royal guard, is here in the flesh!" He scrunched his face to adjust his pink rimmed glass. "Kid really loves you Undyne—well everyone does, but Kid especially. There's posters of you all over their room, oh hey, why don't you two come in."

"No it's fine, it'll be quick," Undyne said, she reassured him with an 'I promise'.

"And you're the human Snowdrake always talks about. I'm not sure where he is now, probably with Ice cap in the forest I think."

Snowdrake's dad shuffled away from the door frame as Monster kid came to the door. "Undyne it's you it's really..." Their eyes dipped below Undyne's waist. The human. 'Why is here here?!'

"I didn't think it would matter that much to you if I were a human or not...but I...I know not all humans are nice...I wouldn't know. They're I...I'm sorry. I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner that I'm a human and a ninja...and a jinchuriki."

"I don't care about that!" Without warning, Monster kid ran into Naruto's shirt and sobbed. They lifted their head, blubbering like a whale to Naruto. "I-I-I don't wanna hate you anymore, I wadda be yo-your friend again!"

Naruto patted Kid's back. "We're still friends, we just got into a little fight. Come on, after you're done wiping that snot off your face we can go through Hotland together!"

"—Actually,"

"What?"

"There's no need for all that hoopla, we're all going down to the MTT-resort thing for Snowdrake's stand-up comedy act or whatever he does," Snowdrake's dad said. "You can do all the goonie stuff later."

"But-"

"No but's, I have the hotel booked and everything." He turned to Undyne and Naruto. "Well, in any case, thank you human and Undyne, you two really make my kid's day!"

Naruto and Undyne boarded the boat back to the Hotland. This time the River person was babbling on about somewhere called 'Temmie village'. "Let me see your cell phone," Undyne abruptly said.

He pulled out the brick phone buried deep inside his pockets and plopped it in her hands. "So you have Papyrus' number and...Toriel...?" 'Asgore and Gerson said something about her awhile back, I don't remember,' "Wow. Papyrus was right, you really are a loner, only three numbers." She threw his phone back at him and left the boat.

"Three, that's only two." He went through his cell phone. 'Toriel, Papyrus and...Undyne.'

XxxxXxx

-Hotland-

"OHHHHHH yes. Good evening beauties and gentlebeauties! This is Mettaton reporting in l-ive from MTT news! On today's news we have a story on the human for once—Alphys, show the picture—as you can see right here, the human has burned down a third of Dr. Alphys' famous laboratory. So to avenge my creator's beloved home, I, Mettaton, will serve the human's soul on a silver platter right on national television. Tune into my other fabulous show 'till then!"

[This message was brought to you in full by Miss Muffet's spider bakery sell. Think of the poor spiders. Thank you.]

Mettaton loosened his yellow tie while rolling to the door. "This'll really get our ratings up and we'll be able to broadcast MTT-news throughout the entire Underground and not just Hotland! I'll be the star I was always born to be!"

"He's only a regular human, I mean, if he were a ninja then it would be different, but you killing him will just be another rehash of what you've already done to the...others. There...isn't anything really that special about him, I mean, it'll be the first child we've had in a...while."

Mettaton's hand rested on the doorknob. "He's apart of the lab rat clan, isn't he? The one that's used for all the Jinchuriki experiments. He has to be one of them too."

"We don't know that for sure...it's speculation."

"Listen Alphys, I want you to do whatever you can in any means necessary to prove if he's a Jinchuriki and more importantly a ninja or not on television. Whether you can or can't, the human's going to be executed either way, just like all the others."

"But...he's really nice...I don't think King Asgore could bring himself to execute him."

"If the human already had friends on the surface, we'd all be dead by now. This human is the tool in our freedom and must be treated as such."

Alphys stared at the ground. "Uh, yeah, of-of course."

"And speak of the devil too, looks like the human is back. Time for the exterminator to do his job."

OoO

"Aw man, looks like they're gone—and the lab's mostly fixed up too! Who fixed it?!" Naruto asked, running down the freshly waxed halls.

"That be me." An gloomy orange cat replied. He picked up a pink tool box that looked like someone threw up glitter all over and brushed past them leaving a trail of glitter in his place. "We'll see each other later, kid."

"Did you know who that was at least?"

"Beats me. It's not like I live in Hotland...don't look at me like that...wait, what're you looking at?"

Naruto pointed to a growing pile of white dust fall on the floor, which lead up to the ceiling where a large crack found its place. It developed faster and faster while chunks of the ceiling smashed on the ground.

Undyne lugged one of the ceiling chunks onto her shoulder. "Hey, human, wanna see something cool?"

He bounced up and down. "Uh huh!"

She positioned the chunk in between her hands and squeezed it. "...there!" The ceiling chunk obliterated into a million pieces on the floor. "How cool was THAT?!"

"Not as cool as that!" Another crack and the ceiling blew out altogether spraying pieces of the ceiling all over the lab. Mettaton flew through the handmade hole carrying Alphys like a princess.

"WHAT THE HELL?!" Undyne and Naruto screeched in unison.

Mettaton took a moment to situate himself, brushing bits and pieces of cement off his hard drive. "Don't act so alarmed, it's me the beautiful Metta—"

Naruto ran up to the squared robot. "THAT WAS SO COOL! You gotta fly me!"

"Well of course it was cool, but—"

Undyne shoved Naruto to the side. "And you'll fly me too right?! Do me first!"

"Not before we do today's..." Mettaton propped a microphone in hand. "Quiz show! Oh boy! I can already tell it's gonna be a GREAT show! Everyone give a big hand for our contestant...s...Undyne, why don't you be a dear and," His metallic arms extended out to Undyne and pushed her all the way to the other side of the lab. "Exit stage."

He revolved back to face Naruto, he hoped to catch a glimpse of fear in their pale eyes. Nothing. 'Heh, the kid has a reputation for being incredibly stupid, this should kill him for sure!' "What's with that dumb look on your face? Never played before, gorgeous? No problem! It's simple! There's only one rule. Answer correctly...or you die!"

There it was. The look of fear Mettaton craved for. Wide eyes, pale face, pressed lips. He loved that look, especially in humans. "Don't worry dear, we'll start with an easy one!"

"What's the prize for answering correctly?"

A) Money

B) Mercy

C) That new TV you were looking at in the store

D) More questions

Naruto frantically searched the lab for any signs or clues to the question, and to his luck, Alphys was discreetly forming a 'D' while grinning at him. "...D?"

"Right? Sounds like you...get it..." Mettaton said unenthusiastically. "Ok, so, here's your terrific prize and it's a toughie!"

"What's the king's full name?"

A) Lord Fluffybuns

B) Fuzzy Pushover

C) Asgore Dreemurr

D) Dr. Friendship

"C!"

"...Correct what a terrific answer! Now enough about you, let's talk about the star of the quiz show!"

"What are robots made out of?"

A) Hopes & Dreams

B) Metal & Mag—

"Oh, oh, let me answer this one!" Undyne yelled, standing right behind Naruto.

Alphys broke out into a cold sweat. "Undyne you maybe shouldn't uh enter...thisisa 'death' quiz show and...uh you know..." Her words puttered out like an excited child, all laced together and hard to unwind.

Undone, of course, understood every word she spit out. Perfectly. "That just makes it even more fun! Come on, let me do it!"

"Fine, fine, fine, but I'm giving you a new question, it'll take only a second for me to randomly generate a—here we go! Ahem!"

"How many times has Papyrus said the word 'human' since the current human's fallen down here?"

"Wait what?"

A) 24

B) 240

C) 2,400

D) 8

"How am I supposed to know that?! Actually, the better question is, how would you know how many times he's said it?"

"None of that matters my sweet, because you're wrong-o! What a shame too. Looks like you're going have to say hello to my Ruger Single Six Convertible .22/22 Mag revolver!"

"Wha-you're going to SHOOT me because I got it wrong?!"

*click

"Sure am, sweetie." Mettaton pulled the trigger.

*bang

A flag dubbed 'you're a loser' popped out of the muzzle bringing along mettaton-shaped confetti that sprinkled all over the already messy floor, Undyne fell on the ground, cracking up with laughter.

"Don't be so silly hon, I would never shoot you." 'But the next one is the real deal. I knew Undyne would want to join sooner or later, so I have it set that every other one is just a gag which I'll use during Undyne's turn, and the off one's are real. It's perfect!'

Naruto covered his ears, relieved the penalty wasn't an actual gunshot. "What's the prize for finishing the quiz?"

"Why living of course! What better prize is that? Now time for the next question, I'll give you a hint, it's a memory game!" He spun around and donned a flashy purple shirt, half of a frog-like monster plastered on the front. 'Shoot, I skipped several questions. Wasn't I supposed to do the train question first...'

"Guess what?! Dual question round time! Don't count on winning this time, ready?!"

"Yeah!"

"The freezing point of water is thirty-two degrees Fahrenheit, while the boiling point is two hundred twelve degrees. Two hundred twelve degrees west of the Greenwich Mean Time on the longitudinal axis, by thirty-two degrees north of the equator on the latitudinal axis, maps a specific point on the globe, that point being right here in the Underground, the intersection of Hotland level 1 and the Waterfall to be exact." A jar of flies elevated from Mettaton's head. "How many flies are in this jar, and what monster is on my shirt?"

A) 54-Moldsmal

B) 53-Froggit

C) 54-Froggit

D) ¿Qué?

"Well human, come on you're in the spotlight. Time is fabulous, dear."

"Um."

"Um?"

"Um!"

'Clever question Mettaton, but this one is easy.' Alphys made a 'C' in hand and Naruto nodded to her.

"C!"

"Quick thinking human, sharp as a knife today. Now it's up to you, Undyne, can you get this?"

"Would you smooch a ghost?!;)"

A) HECK YEAH

B) HECK YEAH

C) HECK YEAH

D) HECK YEAH

"HECK YEAH!"

"Great answer! I love it! Now here's a simple one, human."

"How many letters are in the name Mettatonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn—wait wait. I have a harder one. In the dating simulation video game Mew Mew Kissy Cutie what is Mew Mew's favorite food?"

Alphys' chubby arm went spastic. "OH! OH! I KNOW THIS ONE! IT'S SNAIL FLAVORED MOCHI ICE CREAM! IN THE FOURTH CHAPTER EVERYONE GOES TO THE BEACH AND SHE BUYS MOCHI ICE CREAM FOR ALL OF HER FRIENDS! BUT IT'S SNAIL FLAVORED AND SHE'S THE ONLY ONE WHO WANTS IT! IT'S ONE OF MY FAVORITE PARTS OF THE GAME BECAUSE IT'S ACTUALLY A VERY POWERFUL message about friendship and..."

Mettaton tapped his gloved finger on the mic. "Alphys, Alphys, Alphys. Gotcha! You've been helping our human contestant this whole time, haven't you? Of course he isn't smart enough to get it on his own!"

"What the-hey! I'll tear those arms right outta your square body!"

"Someone's feisty today, huh? Don't worry, I'm giving you one last question to redeem yourself—er—that's okay with you, Undyne, right?"

"Fine with me."

'Well, well, I'm glad Undyne could join us for once!' "So human, who does Dr. Alphys have a crush on?"

A) Undyne

B) Asgore

C) The human

D) Don't know

"Well human, what'll it be?"

A/N: You don't know how long I've been waiting to write the Mettaton pop quiz, and it's here at long, long, long last. Speaking of, I know guns don't exist (but robots do for some reason?) in the Narutoverse but anime does.

Well, this was a fun chapter, but it's time to amp up the angst for unlucky chapter 13