XxXJermeyOfTheStormXxX: One of these chapters, I know he's making an appearance. Probably sometime during the Core
Chapter 13: Hotland's most wanted
"That's an easy one!" Naruto looked skeptically at Undyne and Alphys who were sweating buckets all over the floor. "The answers' obvious; it's me!"
Despite the cold glares he was getting, he continued anyways, "And-and, she watches me on her big computer thingy, she even knows what my favorite food is! If that's not a crush I don't what is!"
"Amazing. It truly is amazing how much of an opportunity you wasted, you're about as conceited as a human can get and...I love it!"
"Though absolutely nothing you said was right, I'll give some credit. Like you said, I have seen her watch you on the computer screen like it's some kind of anime show. Smiling when you succeed. Shrieking when you fail—which she does a lot more of—and always, always whispering 'No you're supposed to solve the puzzles like this! No-no what're you doing, that's not how it works!' It's love in its own little creepy way. In fact, she even made a fanfic about you, it details your entire journey in the Underground up to this point."
"METTATON! You weren't supposed to tell him that!" Alphys dragged her claws over her face to hide how red she was turning. "Oh my god..."
"In any case, don't worry about cleaning, rebuilding, waxing, shining, reapplying the cement and adding that special layer of sparkle to the lab, I'll have Mister Burgerpants do it for me again." Mettaton's limbs injected back into his body. "Adieu!"
He flew out of the lab through a new spot on the ceiling, making an entirely new hole to be fixed later. Alphys sighed, then turned to Undyne and Naruto. "Well that...happened. I-I'm not sure wh-where that last question came from..or any of the answers...or what a fanfic is..heh."
Undyne smiled. "But the rest of it was fun!"
"It was alright...hey, uh, you live in Hotland so do you know where the MTT-Resort place is?" Naruto asked.
"Hotland level 3, just keep on going forward and you'll run into it eventually. It's at the outskirts of Hotland so it's going to take awhile to get there." Naruto waved goodbye to them and started walking off. "Wait-wait, let me give you my ph-phone number! Th-then I could finally he-help you solve puzzles the right way..."
Naruto handed Alphys his phone and she nearly gagged. "Wh-where'd you get this phone?! It's ancient!"
"He probably got it from a trash can, they don't make 'em like that anymore," Undyne said.
"I-I know, right? It doesn't even have texting, I'll be back with this..."
*insert random machine noises and such
Alphys came scurrying back gripping a brand new phone. "H-here, I upgraded it for you. It can text, hold items, there's even a keychain, I even signed you up for the Underground's No. 1 social network! Now we're legally friends! Eheheh!"
"Uh, yeah sure." Naruto cracked an awkward smile and took the cell phone.
"Hehe...heh...ha...I'm going to the bathroom."
"Then I'm going to break more ceiling chunks."
OoO
Naruto walked out of the air-conditioned comforts of the lab and into the searing hot heat of Hotland. He rolled up his already drenched sleeves. 'They're right to call it Hotland, I'll have to move fast with this heat...ah, I feel something—that must be my phone.'
He checked his phone and saw several message beeping on the screen. 'I have to admit, these things are pretty cool, I sure don't have anything like this on the surface!'
Undyne updated status
*Broke like 80 ceiling chunks, going for 90:D
Papyrus commented
*i can do 100
Undyne commented
*im doing 200 then
Papyrus commented
*...rats
Alphys updated status
*was really looking forward to undyne fighting the human, she would've broke every bone in his body, too bad he found some sort of shortcut or something
'Eh? Where's all this confidence coming from, she was a nervous wreck five minutes ago, gotta set her straight now...I'm not sure how to do this though...' Naruto fumbled with the keyboard and attempted to update his own status
Naruto updated status
*% &/8?(/b) (b)
'Ugh this thing's stupid, I give up.'
Alphys updated status
*but im pretty sure they had a fight outside so i'll ask abt it l8r since she's in my lab. Haha, get on my level twats.
Alphys updated status
*right now im going to help the human, he probably needs it by now=^.^=
Naruto stopped at a rusted conveyer belt. Either side of him were pipes spouting bursts of blue fire. He excitedly approached the conveyer belt, and stood on it. "Whoa, this thing's fast!"
"And prone to breaking!"
"Wait-what?"
*Ch-chank
*cough
The pipes drizzled out white smoke and the conveyer belt slowed down to an unwanted stop. "Who said that?!"
"Down here!"
His eyes dropped down to a volcano with legs. The volcano bounded on its stubby legs when it saw Naruto's face fully. "I knew it, you're the on TV, the arsonist! Hi arsonist, I'm Vulkin, it's your pleasure to meet me!"
"What?! I'm not an arsonist...whatever that is...what do you want and how did you know this thing would stop?!"
"It always stops around this time. Then it starts back up a couple minutes after. Well, now since we're here and your kind of an arsonist, looks like we have to fight and all that, great timing too, I'm about ready to erupt!"
Naruto grabbed Vulkin and threw the portly volcano on the parallel conveyer belt. "Ha! Try to erupt on me now!" He yelled then took off down the exhausted machine. While he was running, dark circles fashioned the surface, getting darker by the second. 'Is this another one of the machine's quirks?'
*BAM
'N-nope!' Naruto jumped back. It did nothing to secure his safety as dark patches were now fashioning him. 'What the hell is Vulkin doing?!' His arms carried him on the ledge and moved along that way.
"Enjoying my fireballs? They suit your taste perfectly, they'll even come back for you too!"
Naruto glanced at the bright light forming below his dangling feet. 'Oh shit, this is baaaaad!' A giant line of fire balls rocket from the blackness just barely scorching Naruto's back. His hand immediately whipped to his back to comfort the burn. "F...ah...uck..." 'This doesn't feel anything like Toriel's, I have to go on top, I won't be fast enough like this.' He swung onto the conveyer's surface not expecting it to look like swiss cheese.
*Clink-Clank
*Vroom
"Great timing, right?! Have fun trying to dodge those holes at this speed!" Vulkin happily chirped, Naruto gritted his teeth.
"Then I won't!" Naruto leaped to Vulkin's side of the conveyer belt and readied an aching fist. "You're getting what you ask—"
*beep
*beep
"..."
"..."
He pulled out his phone while Vulkin patiently waited on him.
Alphys updated status
*Undyne told me abt her and the human's fight, I bet if I suckered punched her she'd fall in love with me=^0^=
*Wait, wasn't I supposed to do something with the human?
"Alright, where was I?"
"You were saying; 'You're getting what you ask—'."
"Right, right," Naruto leaped into the air, positioning himself right below Vulkin so he could kick off their head and make them tip over.
"Hey that wasn't fair!" Vulkin wailed. They were in even more remorse for all their diminished lava burning a hole through the machine.
"Serves you right!" Naruto stuck his tongue out and smirked as he boarded the following convert belt, which proved to be a much safer transition, taking only a few seconds to get to the other side.
Naruto got back on the rocky ground, he ran over to the side and peered over the edge, marveling at the sea of thick, red magma bubbling and churning, he'd only seen pictures of this stuff up until now. 'It's like they built Hotland right inside a volcano, so cool!'
Alphys updated status
[There's an attached picture of Alphys and Undyne smiling]
*I hope Undyne doesn't notice I'm .5 seconds from passing out again because she's getting so close to me
*Ive had so many dreams abt this...and now it's finallyCJYCHNNYC-oops
*great, another eruption, it sounds like one of the machines are failing or something...I hope the human's ok out there...wait...I Just remembered I have to call him
*But I hate using the phone I don't want to do this lmao^.^
He made his way to a series of launchpad bursting with enough steam for it to fog over all of Hotlamd. 'There's more of 'em past it, a lot more, is this'pposed to be another puzzle?'
"Oh whoa!" Naruto stumbled back when he saw a small bomb teetering on the edge of the launch pad. "W-what?! Where did that come from?!"
'It wasn't me or anything!' He heard someone say, seconds after, the bomb exploded, sending waves of smoke past Naruto, he shielded himself as a gust of manufactured wind rolled by to blow away the smoke. 'What's happening?!'
The blinding smoke was gone and in its absence was a flustered airplane smothered in inch thick makeup with a hot pink mob cap. "I didn't do that on purpose or anything so don't get any ideas!" The plane, Tsunderplane, spit out.
'What luck, maybe she'll give me a ride if I act nice!' "Hey, down here, can you give me a ride?" He asked.
"O-of course NOT! M-m-m-me give a ride to YOU?!" Tsunderplane turned its nose up.
"You're also really pretty!"
OoO
Tsunderplane soared high above the ground and effortlessly cut through the soupy smog, the only clouds the Undergound could produce. "Listen hu-human, I'm not doing this because I like you or anything, my friends just need you, yeah, they need someone like you to help them, I'm just helping my friends, not you, it's not like I like you I blah...blah...blah...blah blah blah blah blah..."
The sound of clicking gears, rattling bolts, and erupting steam all churned together in the vast vault of magma, drowning out Tsunderplane's endless babble. 'I hope there's more monsters like her 'cause it'll take forever for me to get to the resort on foot.'
*beep
*beep
"What's up?"
"...uh...oh yeah, human, I forgot to tell you there's a crime syndicate on the loose, they've been lurking around Hotland for a while, since last week, and they've committed really scary crimes—"
"Alphys, ugh, they're not a crime syndicate if I can beat up all of them blindfolded! The 'crime syndicate' is just a bunch of wimpy high schoolers."
"—Is there even a difference, like, they egged my entire lab yesterday, they even got my roof somehow. I'm scared to leave my lab now without Mettaton."
"If those high schoolers ever come back, I promise to beat them up again."
"R-reallllllly?!"
"I'd beat anyone up for you!"
Tsunderplane dropped a bomb of questions when the human finally out his phone away. "Who were you talking to? Why are you giving them so much attention? It's not like care though, humph. Where do they live? I will find them, but it's not like I care or anything, baka!"
He jumped off Tsundereplane as they were nearing close to the ground. 'Geez, she's annoying!'
'A storage room?'
"Hey, you there, human, c'mere."
A group of monsters in school outfits ranging from frilly skirts to tight trousers were gathered around the storage room. The monster who called him, however, wore nothing except for a burnt tie and a crafty grin. "Name's Pyrope," He said. "You look like a smart kid, wanna help us with something?"
'Us' consisted of only a few native Hotland monsters while the rest were nervous looking Froggits. "We're not going to kill you or anything,"
"Then what do you want?"
"There's some crates back in the storage room that're supposed to be shipped to Mettaton's cooking show. We took the liberty of filling all the crates with surprises and when he opens it-the look on his face, it's gonna be so funny!"
"Whaddya need me for?"
"All the puzzles got turned on and blocked the delivery guy's route. There's a switch in the back of the storage room that can deactivate the puzzles, but we haven't been able to figure out how to solve it yet, you've gotten this far solving all the puzzles so we figured you can do this one too."
Pyrope sensed hesitation so he coaxed the human even further. "Think about it, if you do it you can give that pansy snob what he's been asking for. Come on, aren't you tired of it? Thinks he's untouchable, not after today he won't, how about it?"
"HEY PYROPIE! I'm coming for you!"
Pyrope groaned at Tsunderplane's overcasting shadow. "Hurry up, you in human?"
"Yeah!"
The storage room was massive, filled to the brim with crates upon crates, Pyrope bounced over to a stationary gun by the railing that kept the crates. "There's only two bullets in there and you have to move the crates so at least one of them will hit the switch."
Naruto reached for the gun's handle. "Ah-ah, you'll be doing the crate moving with the froggits over there,"
Instead, a fuku-wearing monster grabbed the handle, slightly burning the corroded exterior. She giggled. "Silly, why would you be doing the easiest part, just do your job and don't break too many crates, k?"
Naruto jumped over the railing where all the Froggits gathered. "We'll push the middle one as far back as we can."
"Ribbit-ribbit!" 'I can't believe Pyrope put the human in charge of us, what a classist.'
Together, they pushed the stack of crates forward. 'Oh I have something!' He motioned to the Froggits. "You guys get in a line, I'm gonna throw the first guy crates one by one and he's gonna pass it to the back guy where he'll throw it behind the railing, got it?"
'What the fuck is he saying? Am I supposed to agree with this and why did he point to me?'
'Yep, this is the guy my cousin was talking about, why does he act like we can understand him?!'
The Froggits constructed a chorus of croaks making Naruto smile. He made his way to the storage room's ceiling and reached for the top cra—*beep beep*
''It's her this time,' "What's up?"
"THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!" Naruto pressed his hand over the receiver and let only a fingers width of sound pass through. "We came down to check how you were doing and then we see you in some—"
"Did ya see my fight that Vulkin, I was so awesome!"
"Yeah right, last time I check you were getting your ass whooped."
"So what? I killed you that one time-I mean..." 'Damn it, I shouldn't of said that,'
"Haha I'm still here you little freak, besides, you could never bring yourself to, hold up, you've been trying to change the subject! Tell me what you're doing right now or I'll friggin' choke you!"
"I like to see you try!"
"Yo, human, who's that you talking to?" Pyrope hollered.
"Uh-n-no one!"
Naruto crammed the phone back into his pockets. "Let's do this already!"
Pyrope's low snickering stopped when he heard Tsunderplane's voice call him from a distance. "Oh Pyropie on a totally unrelated note to me liking you, could you come over here for a quick sec? I'm lonelyyyyy."
"Hey-hey what'd I say, turn around and keep watch!"
"But you never said who I have to look out for, I don't wanna do this anymore."
"Come on, do it for me...sweet."
"Yessir!"
"Heh, works every time."
It was a surprisingly smooth transition as the Froggits picked up on Naruto's idea and soon crates were piled up behind the railing. 'I'm kind of cheating, but I got the job done, now there's just this one crate left, which I'll have the fuku girl shoot it.'
He climbed over the railing and pointed at the single crate standing in between the stale air and their prized switch. "You're ok with shooting one crate, I can't really pull it out since it's wedged in so tight."
Pyrope glazed over Naruto. 'The human didn't even solve the puzzle correctly, or at all really, I can't tell if he's an idiot or...smart? Nah, what am I saying...a human smart? Ha.'
"Sure am," She positioned the gun at the crates and jammed the button.
*bam
*BANG
Tiny nails and thin wood boards coated in white powder decorated the storage room, Naruto gripped the railing, eyes widened at the obliterated crate. "Wh-what was that? Did you put explosives in the crates?!"
"Not explosives, weak fireworks," Pyrope said in a raspy voice. "Not all of them have fireworks. Check that one out over there in the far left."
The crate had a large sticker plastered on the lid reading 'SNOWDIN'. Naruto lifted the lid and found it filled to the brim with old spaghetti noodles, he suddenly felt something hot burning on his back. "Nothing against you being a human or anything, we just thought about how much you love spaghetti. Have fun."
OoO
Alphys updated status
*uh...where did Undyne go?
*i left to get some popcorn and now there's a hole in the wall
*and she left her phone? What's happening?
*oh hey there's someone at the door gtg
Pyrope snickered. "There goes the delivery guy...and the human! Now we wait for everything to happen!"
"Ummmm Pyropie."
"Fuku, post the picture we took on the hotnet, everyone's gonna think we're so hot!"
"Pyropie!"
He spun around to Tsundereplane. "What do you want?" She didn't seem to mind how much his hot breath was fogging up her windshield.
"There been an angry fish running towards us and she's getting closer," Tsunderplane whacked her wing into Pyrope's body. "P-protect me or whatever...it's not like I care."
"Angry fi...oh crap that's Undyne! We gotta—"
*WHAM
Pyrope flew backwards. 'God that hurts, I can't believe she got here so fast!' Every single one of his friends were pummeled to the ground. 'This is bad...'
Like her breathing, Undyne's movements were fast. She snatched Pyrope's flaming head while he attempted to get back up and almost crushed it upon impact. "You haven't seen the human around here..." Her clutch tightened. "Have you?"
"Wh-wh-what're you gonna do with the...h-human?"
"CHOKE HIM! Now spit it out already!"
Pyrope's broken record mouth ran like a motor. "I pushed him inside a crate filled with spaghetti and now he's being shipped to Mettaton's kitchen."
"That's all I need, I'll deal with you shits later," She threw Pyrope on the ground. "I'd start running now if I were you."
A/N: I had a sudden urge to change the title and cover after I saw some of the popular AU's on Tumblr. It doesn't change anything story wise except the aesthetics are different.
Also, updates will probably be longer than they already are, (took me two weeks for this one alone) because school is back and finals are coming up pretty soon. I wouldn't say I'll be updating monthly, but it's going to look more like a chapter, maybe two for the next couple months.