Ravenous Rimming

By Tokumei-Chan

Hello darlings. When was the last time you broke a sweat? Never mind, I don't care. Go take a shower anyway. Back from that shower? Go take another with your man, and make him wash everywhere. When I say everywhere, I don't mean everywhere visible to the naked eye. No, no – I want your man to go brush his teeth, clean his ears, scrub out his belly-button and make sure that every other hole in his body is in pristine condition, because tonight, you'll be putting your tongue someplace very, very dirty.

Wondering where that filthy place may be? I'll give you a hint – about thirty percent of ejaculate is made here every time your man cums. Need another hint? A lot of guys completely ignore this particular body part until it gets cancerous? Another? Although this gland is not always stimulated during sexual activity, doctors predict that without its existence, human males would be unable to have an erection.

That's right! I'm talking about the prostate gland! Stop looking at me like that, I mean it. The prostate gland is very important in the male anatomy, and not just because of the prostate fluid in discharge. The prostate also serves as the male g-spot. If you don't know what a "g-spot" is, then you're probably too young to be reading this article.

Stimulation of the prostate can have your man panting and squirming around like a little slut in mere minutes, but that's not the only thing I'm here to talk to you about. Before you get to actually inserting something into your man's rear-end, I would suggest lots of pleasure in his usual erogenous zones: neck, ears, nipples, penis, perineum, testicles, and so on. A lot of guys like anilingus as an accompaniment with fellatio* or stimulation of the penis with the hands. I, personally, would suggest beginning with fellatio and simply moving lower down. Press your fingers and/or tongue against the sensitive spots on his testicles and perineum before gently massaging his anus. This should be done first with the tongue. Lick against his anal cavity in the way that you would a melty ice cream cone that you were trying to prevent from dripping or tipping too far to one side – with gentle pressure.

If he responds well to this (positive response could range anywhere between a slight twitch somewhere in the pubic area to an all out spasm or audible sound of sexual contention) then try to lubricate the inner walls of his anus. The safest way to do this is with your tongue, because if you don't know where to position a lubricated finger you may hurt him. Press your tongue firmly against his anus, allowing it to slip inside. The prostate is located one inch inside of his anus, so you should be able to reach it with your tongue. If not, then with his consent you could try lubricating a single finger and probing him farther.

Once the prostate is located, massage it firmly. Don't be shy about how hard you press against it, because the more pressure you add the closer to orgasm he will get. There are many men who can ejaculate through nothing but stimulation of the prostate gland, and for heterosexual men: No, that does not mean he's gay. Gay men and Straight men have just as many physical similarities as any two people who are of the same gender, and receiving anal pleasure should not be a threat to any man's masculinity, whether it's a girl with her tongue in his butt or another man.

Again, this is a very easy way to contract an STD, so practice with a safe, clean, and trusted partner!

Until next time, you naughty little things!

-Tokumei

*see last weeks article "Fantastic Fellatio"

Neji Hyuuga raised a perfectly arched eyebrow at his ex boyfriend as he peered over the newest addition of Akatsuki magazine. "Explain to me where my survey was at all relevant to this article?" He asked.

Sasuke looked up from his own copy of the magazine, having been looking over carefully to make sure that it was unedited. "Hm? Oh, that would be the part where your survey inspired me to masturbate, which relaxed me enough to overcome a nasty little spat of writers block."

Shikamaru rolled his eyes and thanked every god he could think of for the simple fact that Gaara wasn't here and it was just the three of them. Neji chuckled, and smirked at Sasuke.

"I see, well in that case – you should have listed me as a source. Masturbation is a very important element of publication, don't you think?"

Sasuke grinned back at him. "Always has been for me."

Shikamaru sighed and pinched at the bridge of his nose tiredly. "Sasuke, I really don't want to hear about you slapping the salami, okay? It's bad enough you're making me your personal editor as if I have nothing better to do with my time."

Neji looked sarcastically at his lazy friend. "I'm sure you mean that you could have your head in the clouds, eh, Shika?"

The strategist shrugged. "Ino says she wants to help me fine myself or some such nonsense."

Sasuke snorted. "The only thing Ino wants you to find is her cli-"

"Otouto did you finish the orange juice?" Itachi called out loudly from the kitchen, causing all three boys to jump slightly, having all forgotten that he was home and right downstairs.

"Yes, Nii-San, but there's a can of the instant kind in the freezer!" Sasuke called back, before tilting his head slightly as if he couldn't remember what he'd been saying before that. Shikamaru was grateful for the distraction. It was bad enough that Ino was almost guaranteed to try and give him a rim job now, having one of them follow Sasuke's sexual advice was plenty to be annoyed about without him getting it.

Almost as if she'd been telepathically summoned, Shikamaru's cell phone alerted him that his girlfriend was calling. "Yes?" He asked in what he hoped was an acceptable voice.

Neji and Sasuke both tried not to laugh as they listened to Shikamaru's side of his conversation with Ino, which consisted mostly of "Yes, I will, okay, alright, sure, I did" and other simple ways to convey that he was a well trained dog. He sighed as he got off of the phone.

"Ino needs me to help Sai bring home Sakura's new dresser from the furniture store. See you Monday?"

Sasuke marveled at Shikamaru's patience. What business was it of his if Sakura bought a new dresser? That was Sakura's problem! But nope, she'd dragged her own boyfriend and Ino's boyfriend into it. Typical woman. This was exactly why Sasuke preferred men. Oh, that and cocks, delicious juicy cocks...

"Hello? Earth to Sasuke!"

"What?"

"You were daydreaming about being surrounded by penises again, weren't you?" Neji asked, standing with his hands on his hips like a reprimanding mother.

"Yes." Sasuke deadpanned shamelessly. "What were you saying?" Sasuke noted that Shikamaru had left while he was spacing out.

"That you need to hurry up or you'll be late to that meeting you were telling me about. You said it's at two, didn't you?"

"Oh, fuck! Right!" Sasuke quickly hopped up and ran over to his dresser, sliding a jumper on over his T-Shirt, and shoving his feet into his trainers even though they were still untied. He then promptly ran downstairs, not caring that Neji was still in his bedroom, and managed to collide with Itachi, sending them both to the ground.

Itachi grumbled and pushed Sasuke off of him. "The hell, Sasuke?"

"Gotta go! Bye!" Sasuke said, rising from the floor as fast as he could and sprinting out of the house. Alas, he reached the Spring Wednesdays cafe with time to spare; but – as he'd suspected, even though he was early, the person he was meeting arrived before him. Sasuke sat down across from his date and smiled apologetically, even as eyes looked at him with un-withheld disgust.

"You look like a man, Sasuke."

Sasuke sighed. "I was in a hurry, so when are we going to start doing this?"

"As soon as possible," The person across from him said in that light airy feminine way that he had of speaking. "You can start by using something decent to wash your face with. I could see your pours from across the restaurant for god's sake. You have a blemish on your left nostril – would you die if you tried to exfoliate for once in your life? That hair style won't do either. Parting it like that brings too much notice to your abnormally large forehead. Try to let some hang in the front. Oh, lord, and that's just your face. Heaven help the rest of your appearance, and don't even get me started on your mannerisms."

Sasuke grinned. It was very rare for anyone to feel comfortable pointing out all of his flaws, but Haku was someone who did it without a second thought. Because of his lie to Itachi, Sasuke was meeting with Haku every Saturday now until he learned how to properly behave as a transgendered individual.

"Okay, new hair, new face wash, what else?"

"First, we eat, and Sasuke Uchiha if you consume one single calorie above your daily two thousand I'll cane you to death – then we'll go shopping." Haku said matter-of-factly.

Sasuke couldn't quite recall what gender Haku had been born as, but as long as he'd known the guy, he or she had been trapped somewhere in between. He did have a dick though (unimpressive as it was with all of the female hormones) which made him man enough in Sasuke's book.

"Shopping for what?"

"Clothes. Unless you think that a woman trapped in a man's body would be content to swing through the jungle in a loin cloth with the apes – which is what you're dressed for now."

Sasuke shrugged. "It worked for Jane, right?"

The look he got from Haku inspired no further argument.

"Clothes, shoes, hair, oh – we'll have to do something about that smell, also."

Instinctively, Sasuke lifted his arm and sniffed at his armpit. "I smell like generic bar soap and deodorant."

"Exactly. Like a man."

Sasuke frowned. "You know, I will still be trapped in a man's body, won't I?"

"Honestly, with your attitude you'd have been better off telling Itachi that you were a man trapped in a woman's body and you've already had the surgery – because you do not at all think like a woman, and I doubt it's an ability that you'll manage to possess even when this is all through."

Sasuke glared. "I can't tell him that I was born in a woman's body, you dunce. He's my brother he knows I'm a boy!"

"Well, if you're going to have that attitude about this whole thing, then count me out!"

Sasuke sighed. "Okay, sorry. Fine. I'll cooperate – but even if I have to be a woman, make me as macho as possible. Itachi's still gay. He's not going to stay attracted to me if I turn into a chick."

"Perhaps you should have considered that before you blurted out to him that you are a chick. Because that's what you are from now on, Sasuke. You. Are. A woman. Deal with it."

Sasuke gave up arguing with Haku and obediently ordered a low-calorie meal, promising himself to pig out on starches and fried things when he got home just to spite the damn bastard. As Sasuke took a slow sip from his glass of Coke Zero he started to wonder what the hell he'd gotten himself in to.

A/N: How was this chapter? Good enough for me to go the fuck to sleep, hopefully. I'm exhausted!

Please review and take my poll and junk.

Love you for reading!

-Beloved