"I'm just saying," Wade leaned to John, "Look at how they interact. What brothers do you know that are that close?"
He shrugged, "I don't know, they're from the 1800s."
"Fred, do you know any brothers?" the blond looked to his phaser friend and Wade shook his head, "I mean the kind who share parents."
"A few," he shrugged, "What are driving at?"
"Are they that handsy?"
"They're old and Canadian. I don't know anything about Canada. But I'm pretty sure we'd have heard them by now if they were boning."
"I'm Canadian too… But they tend to leave alone together at least four times a day, for like twenty minutes!"
"Why do you pay such hard attention to their schedule?" Brad looked.
"I need a hobby. And don't change the subject. This is about the possible debauchery going on here!" he pressed, "Debauchery that I have not been invited to!"
As he was getting into his rambling the feral brothers strolled back on to base. The looks they received were reminiscent to the first world war.
"What are you lot looking at?" Victor glared at them, not enjoying the memory of what happened last time he was in this situation.
Wilson smiled, "Hey guys, just a question. Are you butt buddies?"
Their unease turned to confusion at the question. As the rest of the group collectively face palmed.
"No, we're brothers…" Victor looked at his younger brother in confusion. Logan merely shrugged, unfamiliar with the term.
"Yeah, you've said, but I mean do you…" he made several hand gestures that made everyone feel awkward.
"For the love- he's asking if you two have sex!" Zero shouted after one particularly lewd gesture.
"No! That's sick!" Logan glared at Wade in disgust, "Is your mind the porn version of the world?"
"Only when it's conveniently sexy. Like how I imagined those twins you were talking about."
Victor shuddered in disgust, "You're nauseating."
"And you're weird. Fork feeding each other and brushing each other's hair."
"It's called affection. You've clearly never seen it displayed properly before," The elder scoffed.
"I'm affectionate with my swords. And my girl. Well what do you two go run off to do for twenty minutes every four hours for?"
"Are you timing us?" Victor gaped, "You don't use the toilet?"
"Not with my brother in tow."
"In the forest there are animals so when you're squatting or taking a leak it's important to always be vigilant or bring a lookout," Logan told him, "It's just a habit."
"well...Ok," the story made enough sense to him at the moment, "How do you even wipe with those witch hands?"
"Very carefully," Vic shrugged, not like he just got claws, "Any more things to convince us you're creepy?"
"Not right now but I'm sure I'll think of something." he shrugged. The rest of the men just gave him some disapproving looks for accusing the two, "Not like you weren't concerned and possibly aroused by the idea."
X
Towards the end of the night, right after lights out, Wade had to use the lavatory. He sighed, relieving himself in a bush. The outhouse was mainly for poopies.
As he shook he heard quiet talking and footsteps.
"Just grab them."
"Ok, gathering."
Wade leaned over, slowly moving as not to be heard.
"Unbutton," Vic folded the cloths, "Is the button loose?"
"Yeah, meant to tell you about that," Logan worked his pants down.
Vic rolled his eyes and just got another one, putting the cloths in, "I'll fix it in a minute," he fastened another one on him, "And you thought buttons were stupid idea."
"Ok, it was smart. There I stroked your ego," he rolled his eyes. Victor got tired of fumbling with pins and had sewn buttons on a few nappies to make life easier.
"Sound more convincing," he wrung the cloths dry before putting them in a bag as his brother unbuttoned him.
"Out of many ideas you've had I think this is one I like best." he tied the folded diapers to a rock and threw them in the pond, "Let's get back to bed."
They scurried back to the camp.
Most of what they did was hidden by the darkness of the night. Most. But the swordsman was able to see enough to draw conclusions.
"So that's what they're doing out here together," he snickered, "Slightly less gross, but three times as cute. Now to see how I can investigate this further."