And the Captain Walks into a Bar

by Starsinger

Bones suddenly has two patients to deal with in the first part of this story, and the second part, well, Jim, for some reason, still doesn't realize he's pretty tall. So, I turn on MeTV, and what do I find? Star Trek, and what episode, Space Seed. Wow, they're reading my mind! lol Don't own them.

Chekov was many things. Young, smart, cute, with an adorable accent, he just wasn't particularly coordinated today. He fell, not once, not twice, but three times walking across the quad from the Academy to the building holding the Administrative staff for Starfleet and the Federation. The first time he sprained his little finger on his right hand. The second time he broke his hand. The third time, on the steps of the Admin building, he broke his leg. Okay, today, he was a klutz.

McCoy was surprised when Admiral Komack called him, "Dr. McCoy, I wouldn't normally call you about another patient, but he's one of yours." McCoy could clearly hear Russian being screamed over Komack's comm. "We're transporting Chekov to you via transporter. Medical is still not repaired here, and we kinda figure you'd rather take care of him yourself."

McCoy looked at Jim who was behaving himself by watching television. "Alright, I'll meet him down in the ER," McCoy replied. McCoy looked up at Jim, "Behave and you'll have a roommate, Jim."

Jim's eyes lit up, "Who?"

"You'll find out soon enough," McCoy replied.

When McCoy returned with Chekov, Jim was missing. One of the nurses told him that Dr. Marcus had stolen him for some time out on the balcony. Chekov was sedated. His finger, arm, and leg all in braces. He wouldn't be here for more than a few days, but it would allow him to be fussed over, and take Jim's mind off what he was going through. It was a light sedation, Chekov didn't have the pain tolerances that Kirk did, and even the pain medicine they had given him hadn't relieved the pain. The Medic on duty finally jabbed him with the sedative so that she could determine his injuries. McCoy didn't entirely blame her.

Jim returned as McCoy was discussing Chekov's care with an Orthopedic Specialist. Kirk waited until McCoy was done, "What happened, Bones?"

"Pavel Chekov proved to be especially clumsy today. He fell three times crossing from one building to another, and he wasn't even drunk." Jim laughed as he maneuvered back into his bed. Chekov started to come around.

"Am I dead?" he mumbled.

"No, Pavel, but you're staying with me for a little while," Jim chuckled. "Nice job, by the way. Give Bones a little challenge since I haven't done anything spectacular in a while, you're his newest pet!" McCoy shook his head as Chekov groaned.

Perhaps it was the three months he'd already spent here, but Kirk was positively cheerful as dinner was served. Unfortunately, since it was the finger on his right hand that was sprained and his left arm that was broken, Chekov ended up having his food cut into small pieces for him so he could eat it easily. Jim, on the other hand, merrily dug into his food with both hands fully functional. For some reason he took great satisfaction that he wasn't the worst hurt in the room. Chekov looked disgruntled, he was young enough to be embarrassed by the whole situation. When his friends came to see him, they did try to cheer him up.

"Look at the bright side," Sulu told him, "you'll be out of here before the Captain!" That earned Sulu a pillow to the back of his head. Jim had good aim. The next day McCoy took Chekov in to have his finger and arm treated. It was painful, and Chekov passed out. McCoy again shook his head, maybe he was a little TOO used to Jim's pain tolerances. At least Chekov was now able to cut his own food. McCoy began to rethink the room policy when the nurses called him complaining about wheelchair races down the halls. Jim again, he could get up to just about anything. The only good thing was Chekov was now laughing.

McCoy just knocked Chekov out the next day so he could fix his leg. Chekov stayed three more days in the hospital and managed to get the message when Admiral Archer sent Jim the following text, in song format, "Star Trekking round the Universe, always going forward 'cause we can't find reverse."*

Kirk walks into a bar

The first thing that Spock Prime noticed about this Jim Kirk, after finding him sprawled on the ground, was his height. Spock was not actually used to looking Jim in the eye, but this Jim looked right at him as Spock gave him a hand up. At six feet, he wasn't unusually tall. Both Spock and McCoy were slightly taller than he, but he was tall enough that he had to kneel down to reach some Ambassadors levels. There were times he just sent Keenser in to do the work.

Vulcans and humans were often tall enough that this wasn't required, but there were times that he misjudged his height. The first noticed by more than a few was on the shuttle from Riverside to San Francisco when he walked right into a low hanging bar. More than a few cadets winced at the sound of his head striking metal.

McCoy had learned early on just how tall he was and compensated accordingly. Jim, in Spock Prime thought was a holdover from his previous, shorter life, couldn't quite seem to figure it out. He often forgot to duck. Uhura often found herself putting up signs in low hanging doorways, "Captain, DUCK!"

The most surprising thing was that he was taller than his brother by six inches. When Sam ran away from home, he was taller than Jim. By the time they met up again, and Jim was standing, Jim was looking down at Sam. "Well, my little brother ain't so little anymore!" Sam exclaimed with a laugh.

When Spock, Kirk, and McCoy were standing next to each other, it gave people pause before they approached them. Especially when they were with the women in their lives, who were a lot shorter than they were. Although Joanna had an excuse, she was only five after all. After their first kiss, Jim had been less reluctant to show her affection, but allowed her to set the pace of how things would go. She was very grateful that he never pressured her into anything she didn't want to do.

One day, Carol and Uhura looked over at the men and found Spock Prime and Saavik standing with them. Saavik wasn't much shorter than the guys and quietly blended in until Carol and Uhura dragged her off. "Why are we so interested in men that tall, anyway?" Carol asked.

"Why not?" Uhura answered with a laugh. "At least they can see what's going on in a crowd!"

*Dr. Dementor strikes again!