A/N: Now, as to some context, the SA story is about a sweet little witch living with elves and makes stupid mistakes.
And here's the rest of it.
Chapter 3: Dearest's New Roof, Part 2
When morning came, I stretched myself out like a lazy cat, and my lazy cat stretched out like a lazy human.
I go out from under the table, after nearly breaking the table with my large limbs. I put the oven on again to make my ox tongue (and tail) for Luna and myself to enjoy. I quickly mopped and vanished the last bit of water before going to wake my guest.
My bedroom door was open. I leaned my head in and was about to knock when I saw that I had a very rude guest.
Luna the pretty girl was gone. She had left before I could even wake up! Bloody woman! She didn't even thank me! That is the LAST (and first) time I help someone! Bloody ungrateful swine of magical creatures! I will find her and make her thank me!
Holy mother of Rosehalo's beard, look at the time! I was supposed to go the castle this morning to greet our very esteemed visitor, the Fairy Queen. I just hoped I didn't sit on her.
It was with a heavy heart (and a series of tired sighs) that I turned down my ox tongue (again) and went to get dressed. I flicked my wand and my bed itself – usually I did it, but I was too sad to do all the trouble.
I shook my wild tresses and attempted to pull a brush through them, but no luck, the brush broke three times until I gave up and used magic to tame the beast. I should invent a magical hairbrush that never breaks. Luckily the tiny teeth didn't remain in my hair.
I decided to leave the place unlocked. I didn't have a bloody roof, so if someone wanted to break into my house and steal my Barbie collection, it wouldn't be too hard.
I know what you're thinking: why not just use magic to find and reinstall your roof or to magic up a new one? Well, that's because magic isn't the answer to everything! Of course, my king Rosebundalow disagrees, but he calls me everytime there's a spider on his throne. He's a 200 year old man and cant kill his own spiders. Bloody hell, why the hell was he king again?
The castle doors were opened for me by ridiculously dressed elves. They wore bowler hats and mini-skirts, talk about embarrassing. Ah well, might as well laugh about. So I did just that. I pointed too, because, come on, they were wearing slippers – purple, fluffy slippers. Rosecrow probably designed it himself – I wouldn't be surprised.
I was shown to the thrown room, where Roseglue was conversing with someone, someone with long blonde hair…
"YOU!" I screamed (in a very unlady-like fashion), "You bloody well left my house! You didn't even make the bed, you little chipmunk! I will slice you up with a banana peel and serve you to the donkeys, you ungrateful, troublesome little beetle!"
The entire thrown room had gone silent. Sure, they were bustling about a minute ago, but now they were shutting up. Ugh, my life sucks. I didn't ask for all this attention, did I? I just wanted to ask someone to thank me for my hospitality, was that too much to ask?
"Dearest," A voice said next to me, it was Harry and his cute crinkled up nose, "That's the Fairy Queen."
"She can be the queen of the Pancake Kingdom – I don't care! She didn't make the bed, Harry! The bed!"
Harry took a step backwards and glared at the Fairy Queen, "You didn't make the bed? How dare you insult us like that? Be gone with you, sprite from Cerebro!"
I blinked at Harry, "You just called her a sprite from the rain." I pointed out.
"Really? Then what is tha place where it's super warm and all the bad people go?" He asked, crinkling his cute nose (my heart fluttered) again.
"Uh, Harry, that would be hell." I said softly. Harry grinned awkwardly, then glared again and opened his mouth to insult the Fairy Queen again.
"Enough," Rosehunger said calmly, spreading his wrinkly hands wide, "Luna here has just come to tell me of your deed, Dearest Little Witch."
"My name is Hermione," I spat at him, crossing my arms, "And she left before eating the ox tongue!" I sounded like a whiny baby, but I got away with it as the only witch in Daisyland.
"Well, Dearest Hermione, I apologise profusely," Luna the Bee Queen said, "I shall be making your bed for the next fortnight."
"It's not the same," I said wistfully, settling down on the floor, "And Rosehell insnt making it any better."
"Rosehalo, Dearest." Harry whispered to me, but somehow everyone heard.
"Right."
"Well, Dearest Hermione, I would like to extend an olive branch," Luna said, but I cut across her before she could continue.
"I hate olives."
"Strawberries?"
"None of those in our parts."
"Apples?"
"No, apples hurt my teeth."
"Oranges?"
"Oranges and lemons, say the bells of…" I started the nursery rhyme, but I couldn't remember how it ended, so I just hummed.
"Hermione, I'm sorry!" Luna said, actually begging. Yes, the Bee Queen was begging me – I am that awesome.
"Fine," I huffed, "but you owe me an ox tongue meal." I said firmly. She laughed and nodded.
Yay – more ox tongue for me!
"But I actually have another gift for you, Dearest Hermione," The Bee Queen said to me, "You'll see it when you go home."
I was curious and left immediately, dragging Harry and his cute nose with me. Crookshanks had decided to stay home, mostly because cats weren't allowed in the throne room.
I entered my house and looked up immediately. My yellow roof was still missing but a thin sheet of glass (I hope it was strong glass, and I didn't really know if it was glass, but it was se-through) had been placed upon my kitchen.
I have a starry kitchen. I have a starry kitchen! Thank you, Bee Queen!
. . .
A/N: I love this.