Going to the DX after school had been a habit for me, Evie, and Karen for a long time. I shouldn't have felt nervous, but I did. Not just over Sodapop, either. It was Monday, and I was expecting my father home some time that night.
Evie was all bounces, excited as always to see Steve. Never mind the fact that we had all seen Steve not even an hour ago at school. It was like Evie and Steve were only whole when they were around each other.
Karen was walking hand-in-hand with me. We had always walked this way together since we met when we were little. With her going steady with Curly, though, it had become a joke with our friends. 'Brooklyn's tryin' to steal your girl, Curly', the boys would tease. I was sad whenever Karen dropped my hand, because I felt safer somehow with mine clasped to hers.
Karen left me for her usual spot in the corner where she filed her nails while Evie flirted with Steve. Evie was already headed toward the back, where Steve was working. Soda was at the counter like he usually was. Their boss wasn't stupid. Steve was a car genius and Soda was handsome and charming. He sure made a lot of money off those two boys.
There was Soda, a straw wedged between his teeth, leaning over the counter to flirt with two Soc girls. They were dressed much better than we were, with wool skirts that weren't too short because they'd half outgrown them like Karen, Evie, and me wore. Their shoes were shiny and new, not patched and scuffed. Being around Socs really made you feel lousy.
Soda should've been an actor. As soon as those girls left, his face changed. He went from carefree and flirty to looking like he'd been sitting there, completely bored by what just happened. Soda shook his head, frowning, while he watched them go. When he turned to me and Karen, his usual smile was on his face and his brown eyes dancing.
"I get off soon. Can I walk you home?" Soda asked, making sure he was able to look me in the eye when he asked. I felt my face start to get hot. I had to look down at the counter, but I knew I was blushing redder than a tomato.
"Yeah," I said. My voice sounded funny, like it was too high. I could feel Karen smirking at me. I hit her hard on the thigh. Soda gave me a smile and then disappeared into the back of the shop. Karen pounced as soon as he was gone.
"What was that all about?" she asked, twirling a sucker she'd swiped from the candy selection when Soda wasn't looking. Her and Two-Bit were always risking getting Sodapop and Steve in trouble in the DX by stealing stuff. They never did get caught, though.
"It was nothing," I said, trying to shoo her away. It didn't work. I'm sure she would have said more, only Evie came back looking flushed. No doubt, she'd been kissing Steve and Soda had caught them. I glared at Karen and hoped she'd have the sense to keep her trap shut.
I only thought that I would be lucky enough to keep it from Evie and save myself more teasing. Evie proved me wrong when she winked at me and hooked her arm through Karen's.
"We really must be gettin' home, doll. Have fun on your date." They were giggling when they left. I'd like to have smacked them. I was fuming, watching them go.
Soda scared me, laying his hand on my shoulder when he came back out. He had my jacket in his hand, and he helped me put it on whenever I slid off of the stool at the counter.
"Ready to go?" He asked, and when I nodded, I looped his arm with mine. I blushed again. The sun was setting fast, and the wind was picking up, but it was almost warm. Spring was coming fast. I watched Soda kick a rock for a few blocks.
"Penny for your thoughts," Soda said. He smiled and bumped his shoulder against mine. I smiled back. It was a real smile. They were getting to be easier to come by.
I cocked an eyebrow and said, "Askin' price is higher than that, darlin'." Sodapop threw his head back and laughed, but I knew he was seriously asking why I was so quiet. I still couldn't bring myself to tell Sodapop about my mother's letter. Telling Darry had been hard enough. Pony was always right, though, and Soda understood enough not to ask anymore when I didn't say anything.
When we got to my house, Soda opened the squeaky gate and gave a bow like he was some old time gentlemen. I couldn't help but laugh. He even finished his little act by calling me 'Madame' and keeping his face completely serious until I walked through. When he took my arm again, he was smiling.
We stopped at my doorstep, and I wasn't sure what was going to come next. I'd been kissed before at the end of dates with boys much rougher than Sodapop Curtis. Walking me home wasn't exactly a date, but still. I knew things with me and Soda were changing, I just didn't know how fast it would.
He didn't kiss me, but he did pull me in for a hug like the last time he'd walked me home. Difference that time was I hugged him back. I was still thinking of what hell could happen when my dad got home, though. He usually didn't get home until real late when he did come home, but I was probably going to be up anyway.
"You're dad's coming home today, ain't he?" I nodded into his shirt. Somewhere, someone cat-called. I pushed away from Soda and blushed. He laughed and twirled a piece of my long hair around his finger.
"You have fun with your dad." I rolled my eyes. I could've honestly told him that the last time that'd happened I was all of five years old. I wasn't exactly what you'd call a daddy's girl.
"You have fun with your brothers," I said. He smiled real big. Soda had the kind of smile that made you smile back at him.
"I always have fun. You ought to know that by now, Brooklyn Paige." It was true. We hardly ever saw that boy with anything less than a smile. And when he wasn't smiling, it was for a good reason. Walking backwards and waving, Soda started to leave. He was such a clown. Once, he and Two-Bit got jailed for walking on their hands down the street and 'disturbing the peace'.
I smiled and waved until he finally turned himself around halfway down the block. When I got inside, I looked around for signs that my father had come home early. I was nervous about him finding the letter, but I didn't want to take it back either. Get tough.
He wasn't there, though, so I decided to clean. I was pretty sure when either of us cleaned, we didn't open Dally's door. I know I sure didn't. I thought Dad was just following my lead about not opening Dally's room up.
I was still really nervous after I cleaned, so I decided to cook. I knew that Dad got home late a lot when he was traveling back home, but I was still so worried that he'd be back early. I didn't want to take the letter back. I wanted him to know I found it and he'd been caught. I just wasn't sure what he'd do. It was okay, though, because I had Dally's voice in my head, nothing can touch you.
There was another thing that was sticking on my mind. It wasn't Soda. It was those Socy girls. We hadn't seen many Socs around ever since the rumble. They'd stuck to their promise but good. I wasn't used to seeing them outside of school. It was unsettling how they just walked into the DX like they owned the place. Maybe it did have a lot to do with Sodapop. I just didn't want to admit it. Away from Soda, it felt kind of wrong because of Sandy.
Sandy. I had completely forgotten that around New Year's, she had written me a letter. No, it came on New Year's, but I was too upset to read it. And then I was too drunk and too hung over. I remembered then, I threw it on my dressing table and forgot about it. It had been over a month. Poor Sandy probably thought I forgot about her.
I completely forgot the potatoes I had been frying. I all but ran to my room, tearing through a mess of stockings and blouses on my dresser to find the letter. It was post marked from January, and it was early March when I finally got around to reading it. I felt like a lousy friend. I wondered if she'd had her baby yet. She never did tell me how far along she was only that it wasn't Soda's baby. Then she left before any of us could find out.
I sat down in my floor and used the edge of a bobby pin to cut the letter open. This one was light, but I had already learned not to judge a letter by its weight. It was written on pink paper, and I had to smile. It was such a Sandy-like thing to do, writing on pink paper.
Brooklyn,
How is everyone in Tulsa? Florida is awfully different from home. I miss it. I guess I'm doing okay. I don't have any friends here. I go to a school just for girls. A lot of them are like me. Some of them don't keep their babies. I'm not sure if I will. I asked you to keep a secret from Soda before. Remember? Now could you give him something for me? There's another letter with this one. It's for him.
I miss you,
Sandy.
A better person wouldn't have read the second letter. I never said I was a good person.
Sodapop,
I still love you. I never meant to hurt you. It was so stupid of me to do what I did. You were so sad over your parents, though. When we had that fight, I don't know. I just snapped. I'm so sorry for what I did. I had an idea. If I give the baby up and move back to Tulsa, would you forgive me? We could go back to the way things were before. I don't think it would be so bad.
I love you,
Sandy.
I didn't know what to do. I sat on my floor for a long time. I stared at the letters for so long the words got blurry. It was too much too fast. I couldn't take the thought of losing Sodapop, even though I didn't really have him.
The sound of the screen door opening scared me so bad I nearly jumped out of my skin. My father was home at long last.
"Brooklyn, you tryin' to burn the house down?" Oh, the potatoes. They must've been burned to a crisp. I stuffed the letters back into the envelope and threw it under my pillow.
"I'm awful sorry, Dad," I said when I made it to the kitchen. "I forgot. I only meant to leave for a minute, but I got distracted."
"I reckon you did," he said. But he wasn't mad when he dumped the food into the trash. I thought he'd be raging. We didn't have the money to be wasting food, but he didn't holler at me or anything. I was getting real anxious with him home. He would find my mother's letter when he went to bed for sure.
Even though his face was covered in stubble and there were bags under his eyes, I didn't feel bad for what I had done. He deserved to know I knew he was hiding stuff from us. I hoped it made him upset.
Dad fixed supper while I did my homework at the table. He told me about New Orleans, where he had just left. He asked about my grades and friends. Maybe he ought to be an actor instead of Soda, I thought.
Late at night, there was a knock on my door frame. I always slept with the door open. I didn't close my eyes fast enough. My father knew I was awake. Even though it was dark, I could see the envelope in his hand.
"We gotta talk about this," he said. I wasn't prepared for the talk that followed.