Ed's head began to ache as his mind whipped into overdrive. What to say? There was no way he was going to tell Roy what happened. At least, not spontaneously like this; he'd find a way to make it so Roy wouldn't hate him first. If he told the man now…it wasn't like they were particularly close, despite what Edward may want (though Roy's recent and sudden dedication made that debatable), but he didn't want to make Roy so angry that he stopped speaking to him.

Ed almost sighed; telling him simply wouldn't do.

His immediate thought was to pin in on someone else, but then again, who could he call the father? Not anyone they knew, certainly. That would just lead to trouble.

"I don't want to say," he muttered finally. And that wasn't even a lie.

"Ed, this is important," Roy insisted. "Come on, it wasn't anyone we know, was it?" Luckily, he didn't wait for an answer. "Was it a hooker…?"

Hmm, a whore? Not the most appealing of excuses, but Edward was in a pinch, he couldn't afford to be picky. "Fine, you've got me. I paid some guy on the street to fuck me."

Roy took his eyes off the road for a brief second to send an incredulous look in Ed's direction. "No you didn't."

"What makes you say that?"

"You agreed way too quickly," Roy explained, rolling his eyes. "After you've been holding out? Nope, you're lying."

"Look," Ed said, ready to put an end to the conversation. "It doesn't matter who the father is. I know you want to let him know he's having a kid, but really, he won't give a shit. If he finds out…" Edward gulped, continued. "If he finds out, he'd just be pissed and refuse to have anything to do with me. It's not like he'd be a source of support, so why bother?" Damn it to hell, he was getting all emotional again. But today had been way more stressful than anything he would have thought possible, so Ed supposed he had a good reason to be a little more sensitive than normal.

He took a breath, then finished his thought. "It's not like we're in a relationship or anything. He pretty much can't stand me, so…it's really for the best that I just do this on my own."

Something was wrong here. Sure, Ed might be embarrassed, but it still struck Roy as odd that he was being this resistant. Everything in him screamed to continue the interrogation, but…the boy looked a little red around the eyes, like he might break down any second. Really, he'd been forced to handle all he could today.

Roy decided it wasn't worth the risk of upsetting the blonde and dropped the topic of the baby's—he still found it hard to think that word—father. At least for now.

Instead, he chose some words of what he hoped would be comfort. "Ed, you may not have—or want—the father to be around, but…you don't have to do this alone. Alphonse would never abandon you like that, Ted is going to walk you through this, and like I said, I'm here for you as well."

But the boy just huffed slightly, and turned to look out his window.

Roy thought it best to not say anything else.

It wasn't until Ed got out of the car and began walking up the path to Roy's house that he considered Alphonse. He wasn't worried about his brother not understanding; Roy was right, Al would be with him to the end. Still, it was a little awkward to have to tell anyone, especially family, that you're both pregnant and still a guy.

Roy opened the door and let Edward walk in. He didn't get any time to prepare; Alphonse had been waiting on the couch, and jumped up as soon as he saw Ed. "So, what is it, Brother? Are you okay?"

"Uhm, Al, you…may want to sit down for this one," Edward began awkwardly, taking a seat himself.

Al did so, choosing the couch across from Ed, his face scrunched up in worry.

"Okay, so…remember that crazy lady who was trying to make her husband a woman?" Alphonse nodded. "And how I got stuck in the transmutation circle?" Another nod. Edward felt a bead of sweat run down the side of his face. "Well…I didn't think it had been effective. I mean, I still have a dick. But apparently the transmutation changed a few things…internally."

Alphonse's eyes widened as he realized this implication. "So you've got…lady parts inside you? That's why you've been sick? Makes sense, if your body isn't used to that kind of thing…"

Oh, if only it were that simple. "Actually, it's…worse. I, uhm, may have managed to…fuck, there's no easy way to say this. I got pregnant."

Edward watched his brother carefully, but Al's face seemed frozen as he tried to process this information. When he finally spoke, it wasn't what Ed wanted to hear. "By who?"

"Damn it, why is everyone so preoccupied about that!?" he groaned, casting his gaze towards the ceiling. "It doesn't matter."

"But, Brother—"

"No! I'm not telling you who the father is, I don't want to make anything a mess—" Edward clapped a hand to his mouth as he felt his stomach heave, and jumped up, running for the bathroom. He slammed the door and knelt down in front of the toilet. Okay, so apparently getting too worked up could aggravate his stomach. Duly noted.

Ed felt his eyes tear up as he replayed the day in his head, panting, and was only half convinced they were from the pain of vomiting.

Roy watched the bathroom door, waiting for it to open. On the one hand, he felt like he should make sure Edward was okay, but on the other hand, the blonde probably needed his space.

"What did I say?" Al whispered, clearly upset.

"It wasn't your fault. I was asking him the same question the whole way over here, so hearing it from you as well probably just set him off."

"But Brother's so upset…" Alphonse bit his lip. "Who do you think it is?"

Roy considered this. "I don't know, but whoever it is, I think Ed's attached to them. He'd be pissed otherwise, sure, but in the car he seemed pretty beat up, telling me the guy wouldn't care and all that. He doesn't even seem as upset about the pregnancy itself as he is about the father."

"So what should we do?"

"Just leave him be, I suppose. I don't know how to make him feel better without knowing who it is, but if he reacts like this, I think it's best not to bring that up again." Roy stopped speaking abruptly as the bathroom door opened. Edward emerged, pale and looking like he'd just about had it with life.

"Brother, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you!" Al said, hugging the blonde gently.

"Don't worry about it, you had no idea that would happen," Ed murmured.

"Ed, why don't go you rest?" Roy suggested. "I know it's really early, but you've had…a long day, to say the least."

The boy nodded. "Yeah, I think I will. Wake me up when it's dinner?" Edward didn't even wait for an answer, retreating into the guest room.

Roy sighed, and looked at the clock. Well, the least he could do was make some stew for the poor kid.

Guys, as much as I want to keep the timing a secret (that's the fun of this one *wink*), due to the number of people wanting to see Roy's reaction...I'll give you a hint. It's going to be a really, really long time before he finds out.

I mean a really long time. So don't be disappointed when it takes a while to get there-he'll find out eventually, I promise, and it will be nice and dramatic.

Hope you all can handle that XD