There's no space large enough to take me. The rain masks for a short while before I'm under cover, gasping for breath - for the life he stole from me. That brief moment of touch weighs under my skin until fog covers the world and there's nothing except white sound and booming voices filling the sleek halls of the school. My hair is dripping. My clothes would be transparent if they were white. I feel just as naked even though they're not. Though the corridor is only filled with invisible boys, their sharp and echoing laughter, there are eyes upon me. I feel their gaze against my cover, coating me in their judgement for what I've done. He's done.
I've left my bookbag in my locker for safe keeping. My books are inside and I need them, but I don't care. I can go a day without homework. I won't suffer for it. Not too much. I pull my keys from my pocket and push the doors open and into the pouring wet of Washington. Heat flushes my cheeks against the Spring air as I run across the pavement then onto the grass. My footing is gone. It's in front and my balance shifts before I'm gone and victim to the blades below me.
I stay on the ground in the silky dirt where I belong. It's what I am.
Alone.
I stagger and fall to the arms of my truck. It's warmth and sound a comfort and luxury to my shitty day. I've forgotten my wallet and driver's license inside my bag. I hate myself. I don't want to face obstacles anymore. I've lost twice. Once to the rain, and another to Edward.
I drive home.
Alone.