Yes, I am a horrible person - can't believe how much time it took me to put these up. I've had terrible writer's block, but on the plus side, I already had this written so you all get two chapters today :) Thank you to penguinwobble whose review reminded me how much I miss my story. Thank you.

They walked up the flights of stairs in similar silence as before except that their hands were clasped tightly since exiting the car. Rose found this interesting – she held onto his touch greedily, equally afraid of letting go and holding on. She was nervous about what would eventually come from their conversation.

What would he ask? She wondered. It could be something about everything or it could be everything about something. Would they be able to move on? That thought plagued her most of all. Well, that and also when she'd find the time to study for that exam. A groan escaped her while thinking about it with dread.

The Doctor looked at her as they made their way down the hall, "Everything all right?" Rose saw that his eyes looked worried and already they looked so tired…so very human.

She smiled meekly, "Oh, just thinking about the exam I need to study for. Chemistry." He nodded.

Rose placed the key in its lock and they both entered in stone silence. They hadn't even entered the sitting room before the Doctor turned around sharply to face her.

"Rose, I…," his voice was determined and so…real that it caused a sudden panic to rise in her. He was standing so close to her as well and it was just too much.

Before he could continue, Rose raised her hands to signal him to stop, which he abruptly did. The Doctor looked at her questionably.

"Just," she stammered, "slow down, Doctor. We have time to talk about everything. But before we can do that, we seriously need to put these bags away. And I don't know about you, but I need to be in something more comfortable with a cuppa nearby, yeah?"

The Doctor smiled and exhaled a pent up breath," Yeah, you're right."

She smiled back at him and helped him put their day's purchases away in his room's closet and drawers. While he deposited his things in the common bathroom, Rose was folding his t-shirts and thinking how odd it was that they were in the same flat, each in a room next to the other. Aside from the size, there wasn't much difference from the Tardis.

Rose sighed as she placed the last t-shirt in the drawer. Except that there was a difference because Rose hadn't expected this life. She had spent years yearning for the life that had been ripped from her in that Big Blue Box with the man with too many hearts. A life of running and exploring and saving. She had been so hell bent on it that nothing else was given too much thought – aside from her family of course.

"Do you think your mother was upset we canceled on her?" his worried voice interrupted her thoughts.

With a smirk, she said, "You suddenly worried what my mum is upset about?" her tongue found its way pressed against her teeth. He looked distracted as he said, "Well, a bit harder to run away now."

Rose's smile dimmed as she walked past him to her room. Was it hard to walk away because of her or because of the location, she couldn't help but wonder.

"Well, she understood, miraculously. But anyway, I'm going to change clothes and then I'll make some tea and we'll…talk. See you in a bit." And hurriedly, she went to her room and closed the door behind her without looking at him.

xoxo

The Doctor watched her as she closed the door behind her, without even looking at him.

He walked into his own room feeling wrong for some reason. He closed the door and decided he should change as well. It was amazing how many items now filled his closet and chest of drawers. He picked up a pair of black sweats and looked for a t-shirt to put on. He found the pile of folded shirts in one of the top drawers and realized that Rose had folded and stored them there. He wasn't entirely sure why, but the thought made his breathing hitch. He chastised himself for the humanity he couldn't help but show and changed quickly, deciding on a dark blue t-shirt.

He had clothes and socks and shoes now, but in looking around him, he decided he'd need to pick up some items that would make it feel as if he actually lived there. They hadn't really talked about it yet, but he hoped that he'd continue living with Rose. Maybe they could go to a bookstore. Once he had money of course. He would contribute now.

The thought of getting a job made him let out a groan. Intriguing, however, was the fact that he wanted to work. Rose had already given him too much and he wanted to help in some way.

Oh, maybe I can help her study as well, he thought excitedly.

He walked out of his room to look for Rose in the kitchen. His sock-covered feet stepped soundlessly on the smooth, hardwood floor. Upon seeing her filling up the teapot at the sink, her back towards him, he was about to say something and stopped.

She didn't notice and so he stayed looking at her, reminiscent of the times he'd watch her without her noticing. They would be lounging in the Tardis or in some adventure, but he always had time to look at her.

Rose had pulled her hair into a messy ponytail and changed into a black t-shirt and grey sweats. Her feet were bare and the Doctor could see black-painted toenails peeking at him. That, for some reason, made his heart beat a little faster.

He coughed to announce himself and she startled, "Sorry, don't think I'm used to someone else being here yet." She smiled half-heartedly.

She placed the teapot on the stove. "So," she wiped her hands on her seats leaving damp trails in their wake, "while that's warming up, let's…talk."

The Doctor scratched the back of his head self-consciously, "Uh, are there any edible ball-bearings in this world?" His voice shook.

Rose looked at him confused for a second and then let out a laugh that sounded heavy with tension being released. He chuckled at his own displacement of nervousness. She walked toward him, close but not touching, and leaned against the counter. "You'll be happy to know that edible ball-bearings are plentiful here. I even have some in the cupboard." She laughed heartily at the glee on his face.

At that point, the whistling sound resonated from the pot and Rose went to pour it in the mugs, drowning the tea bags within. She held his mug and when he took it from her, their fingers grazed. His skin tingled from the contact.

"No let's go sit down and uh…," she trailed off.

He looked at her, suddenly uncertain but determined to finally have it happen. They made their way to the sitting room and positioned themselves on the couch. Rose sat against the armrest and cradled her mug in her hands. Tendrils from her messy ponytail trailed and framed her face. He sat against the opposite armrest and faced her, his own mug nestled against his palms. All was quiet between them.

The Doctor chuckled softly, "Well, this is new."

Rose smiled and let out a breathy, "Yea'."

He had so many questions bottled up in him, gathered together like a child with a stamp collection, from their years apart. Where were they now?

"I missed you," Rose whispered suddenly.

He looked up at her and their eyes made contact. He felt the blood pump harshly in his heart.

"I missed you," he said. An understatement.

She led the mug to her lips and blew air to cool the scalding liquid. "Your…your companions, the ones after me – I mean, they seem fantastic. I meet Donna, of course, but Martha…she seemed tough."

He wasn't sure if it could be called jealousy since the sound was more defeating than fighting. "They were extraordinary. It was…difficult with Martha. I met her…after you. But Donna, well, she's Donna." And he smiled, remembering his mate and choosing to forget what else probably happened after he joined Rose in this world.

Rose smiled brightly, "Yeah', she was brilliant. Bet she had you in line," she giggled.

"Quite right too."

The words tumbled from his mouth before he could stop them and their face lost the brightness her laughter had filled. He was about to apologize when she started again, "Martha was in love with you, right?"

The question made him uncomfortable.

"There were…issues," he sighed, "okay, well, not like I could help that…"

She laughed, "You never could Doctor."

A heavy silence enveloped them. The Doctor took a sip from his cuppa and placed the mug on the coffee table.

"How many worlds? How many times?"

Rose looked at him, a mixture of knowing and sadness in her features.

"Before yours? A dozen dimensions and a multitude of times."

At this he felt his anger soar, "Rose, you could have been killed! Your body, your mind – ripped apart by time…you could have died…"His heart raced and tears found their way to the back of his eyes.

Calmly, Rose took a sip and joined her mug with his on the table. She looked at him then, her face unchanged, "I know."

"You knew, and you did it anyway?"

"Yes. You don't seem to get that all I wanted was to be back with you. In the Tardis. The Doctor and Rose in the Tardis, the way it should be, remember? Besides, the worlds weren't all bad. Some were…amusing." She smiled at a distant memory.

Instantly curious, he asked, "What were we?"

"What makes you think you even knew me Doctor?"

"Because it's you," he answered honestly, "Because wherever there is a me, there has to be a you. The universe wouldn't make sense otherwise."

Rose looked at him and a smile grew on her lips. "Right," was all she said for a moment.

"Well?" he wanted to hear about what she had seen.

She settled further back into the sofa and said, "In one, we were mates at the university. Both quite human. Another we both worked at Torchwood – I was your boss. In another you were a doctor. As in, medical," she chuckled at the memory, "and in others, I didn't catch any glimpses, but I could always feel you there. Almost watching me. Oh, there was another."

At this the Doctor saw a blush color her cheeks.

"What was it? Don't tell me, we were both dating Jack." He cringed at the possibility.

She laughed heartily at the suggestion. "No, though that would have been hilarious to see. No, actually, we were both human in that one again. Married. With a little girl. I watched the three of them playing in the park."

The Doctor watched her, his eyes bright with wonder at those other worlds. All the wonders I've seen and that one is the one he yearned to see the most.

"Did we look happy?"

Rose's grin turned tender and the way her eyes delved into him made his hands shake.

"Yea', we looked very happy. Funny, no matter what situation I saw us in, even when we didn't know each other, we couldn't help but have some connection."

They were quiet for some time – the images of themselves in all those other situations playing like movies in their minds.

With a rush of heat that grew in his temples, he finally asked what he was most fearful of knowing, "What was it like, after…"

"After I was gone?" Her voice grew weak and he could see her eyes begin to glisten. He nodded.

"Mum didn't know what to do with me. I scared her a bit, I think."

His eyes grew wide, but before he could voice his thoughts, she smiled faintly, "I was okay on the outside – as okay as I could have looked. Everyday, I got up, ate a little, and went into Torchwood. I helped my mom during her pregnancy. I was there, but I wasn't. It hurt too much, Doctor. I didn't think anything could hurt that much."

The Doctor felt tears prickle at the corners of his eyes. Of course she would feel like that. Wasn't that the way he was without her? Went through the motions but wasn't always there. What an idiot.

He felt Rose's hands on his suddenly, settling their shaking.

"There's nothing you could have done Doctor. It was what it was. Right after it first happened, I held hope that you would come back and get me. But after I saw you…after I told you what I felt and then you just vanished – I knew that time had run out and that you wouldn't be coming back. And it's not your fault. You move on because you have to."

A pain seeped in his pores from the guilt that washed over him. The curse of the Time Lords. He'd told her that once and as much as he knew that it was true, he never really thought it would happen. Not to them. She tightened her grip on him and he felt comforted by the pressure.

"And…there hasn't been anyone? In all these years? You can tell me Rose." He needed to know that she wasn't battling her own feelings alone. Even if it was a man, a boyfriend, he still didn't want to think of her alone.

At this, the threatening tears overflowed gently down her cheeks. She wasn't sobbing but the moisture frightened him and he simply, without thinking, moved closer to her and cradled her to his chest. He'd done it so quickly that she ended up sitting on his lap. All he wanted was to hold her.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," he murmured in her ear.

"I…there hasn't been anyone – but Doctor, understand that it wasn't to feel sorry for myself or some other self-deprecating reason. I didn't want anyone. No one could possibly understand what I lost when I lost you." She spoke these words to his chest. The vibration of them resonated in him. He smoothed his hands over her hair.

"All I wanted was to go back to you. It didn't matter if you didn't love me the way I love you," he felt his heart burst at the words, "all I needed to do was be back in the Tardis with you. And no one seemed to understand that so I didn't talk about it. Life was about my family, work with Torchwood and getting back to you."

"But you started school," he whispered as he leaned his head against her, the guilt drowning him, but also inundated with how her body was making him feel.

"Yeah well, it got to the point where I needed something else to strive for and school felt right. I also thought it might help me in getting back." Rose snuggled closer to him and her fingertips toyed with the hem of his t-shirt.

The small movement, the slight touch, made his heart thump harder. If they kept this up, he was pretty sure that he'd have a heart attack soon. But he couldn't let go of the sudden urge to kiss her. It was he was accustomed to – it had been there since he first met her. It had increased from a dull ache to an undeniable urge. But deny it he did because she was Rose and he was the Doctor.

But now?

Wasn't it obvious that he wasn't going anywhere? He missed the Tardis and he would miss the adventures but no matter how much he thought of it, he couldn't help but smile at the realization that he was holding Rose.

Rose Tyler wasn't stuck on some other parallel universe – she was right there, in his arms and he was not going to lose her again, not when he finally had her. And it was these thoughts that led him to his next question.

"What about me?" he whispered.

Her gentle touches against his stomach, at the hem of his shirt, stilled. Rose looked up at him, questions echoing in her eyes.

"What?" He noticed that her breathing hitched.

"I'm him. I know that you feel it, but it doesn't erase that he's still out there. I can't expect you to erase him as it would mean that you'd erase me – but I need to know what all this means for you, me…us? Because I meant what I said yesterday….was it really only yesterday?"

She nodded, her eyes not leaving his for a second.

"I meant it and I'm not going anywhere…unless you want me to. So, I need to know, Rose, are you still going to try and go back to him?" His voice cracked at the end, but he needed to know where he stood. He idly blamed his long-held impatience and new-found human want.

Rose continued looking up at him, her hand now tightly grasping the front of his shirt. Her mouth was open, but no words were said. And then he felt a familiar emotion, but because he was human and it was Rose, the adrenaline had him feeling dizzy.

It was fear.