Chapter 27

CPOV

It's Monday once again. I tried to get Ana to stay over last night but she didn't want to because all of her things are at her apartment. I make a note to contact Caroline Acton to get a capsule wardrobe for Ana to keep at my house.

Taylor comes into my office without knocking. I know it's serious. "Taylor, what is it?"

"Sir, this was just delivered to you by a courier. I contacted the delivery company but they didn't have any information on who sent it." He hands me the envelope. I tear open the cardboard envelope and empty the contents onto my desk. My heart stops. I immediately spot two pictures. Picking them up to get a closer look at them, I see they are the same subject. Anastasia. The first one is a picture of her sleeping in her bed in her apartment. The second one is of both of us sleeping in my bed at Escala. I am in disbelief. How could someone take these pictures without anyone noticing? Between the pictures is a folded piece of paper. I open it and it is my worst nightmare. A lock of Ana's hair falls from the folds and I read the scribbled message inside.

Christian,

You thought you could outsmart me.

Extra security can't keep me away.

They can't keep her safe.

Try as hard as you might but

I will take her from you.

I am shaking. It's Leila and she was close enough to Ana to cut off a lock of hair from Ana's beautiful head. Words fail me.

Taylor picks up the pictures and the note, his face is teeming with silent fury. "Sir, we'll find her. We won't let her get away with this. We can protect Miss Steele."

"No, Taylor, we can't. As long as Ana is with me, she is in danger. There is only one way to keep her safe." I feel numb. The pain of the realization of what I must do is so great I can no longer feel anything. At 5 pm I head to Ana's apartment.

APOV

Today seemed so long. But Mondays always feel like that since I have been spending my weekends with Christian. Nothing can parallel my weekends with him. My weekends with the man I love.

There's a knock on the door - funny, I'm not expecting anyone or any deliveries. I open the door and am pleasantly surprised. "Christian! Hi." I reach my arms around his neck. But he doesn't hold me back. "Christian, what's wrong?"

His voice is low and barely audible. "Ana, I can't do this anymore."

"Do what?" He sounds so serious.

"Be with you. I tried but I can't do it anymore."

"Wait, you don't want to be with me? You're breaking up with me?"

He nods slowly as he looks down unable to make eye contact with me.

My heartbeat quickens and I can hear the blood pulsing through my veins. "I don't understand. Why?"

"We just don't work. We're too different."

"We don't work? I thought we were doing just fine."

"No. I was just playing along. I'm sorry."

"Sorry? You're fucking sorry?" Tears swell in my eyes. "How long have you felt like this?"

"Ana, don't do this."

"I think I deserve an answer. Was I just a game to you this entire time? Was I just another conquest to you?" He says nothing. "I gave you my virginity. I thought that meant something. So, was I wrong?"

In a quiet and strained voice, he answers, "Yes. I was going to end things with you sooner but I got caught up in things."

"Caught up in things? I gave you my heart. I let myself be vulnerable with you. I trusted you." At my next thought, a sob escapes my throat. "I fell in love with you."

"Ana…" Before he has a chance to say anything else, I smack him across his face. It's the first time I have ever had this reaction in my life. My hand stings from the slap, but right now that is the thing that hurts the least.

"Get out. Get the fuck out. I wish I never met you. I hope you enjoyed your pursuit of a stupid, pathetic virgin. I was so stupid to believe someone like you would really have feelings for someone like me. This is all my fault. I let myself think the impossible actually happened."

"I better go." He whispers. That's it. He so easily disassociated from me. Like I was… nothing. I meant nothing to him when he meant so much to me. I stand in my living room in shock only looking up to see the door shut behind him. It's a perfect vision of what just happened. Christian walked out on me and shut the door, forever.

Then the realization hits me and I break down. I fall to my knees and begin to weep. I am weeping for something that never was - weeping for something that will never be.

That night I have a fitful sleep; each time I wake I pray it was just a nightmare. Then I realize it wasn't and I cry myself to sleep.

My alarm goes off Tuesday morning. I go through the movements of getting ready still numb. My throat is sore and my eyes burn from crying so much. My eyelids and lips are swollen. I walk to work and it's like I am having an out-of-body experience. People are walking to work, getting coffee, and having breakfast. The world around me is moving while mine has stopped.

I get to my desk without speaking with anyone. I can't do small talk. It's taking all I have to not burst into tears right here. I work through lunch. I'm not hungry. Most of the employees here have gone to lunch so I go into the bathroom and allow myself to fall apart. I never thought I would feel this lost or this broken. It's only been weeks. How did I allow myself to fall for him so quickly? I let him in too easy. I am back at my desk and working before everyone else returns.

At the end of the day I bring a manuscript I finished to Mary. "Here you go, Mary. I've flagged the pages where I have notations." She takes the manuscript from me and places it in front of her on her desk.

"Ana, are you OK?" I know I can't say the words aloud or I will cry. I nod. She doesn't buy it. "You're the best Editorial Assistant I've ever had and it's obvious you're going through something. Why don't you take a week or so off to recuperate?"

"I appreciate that Mary. But I can't afford to take time off unpaid and I don't have any vacation time available."

"I want to help you. I am giving you the time off with pay. I do not want to see you back here until you are feeling better. OK?"

"Thank you, Mary. That is very kind of you." I turn to go out of her office to leave for the day.

"And Ana? I heard a saying once and I think it may fit here. Even broken crayons color." Is that what I am - broken? Am I irreparable?