Weed, by D to the F

"OH NO IT'S HAPPENING!" Ash screamed, clutching the sides of his head. "The walls are breaking down! The illusion is fading! It's all spiraling into black! All of my adventures never happened! All of this will cease to be and I'll DIE HORRIBLY. Oh, I can hear the song of Lavender Town now..."

"Shut up, Ash!" said Gary, brushing the dirt off his butt. "Goddamn, you're fucking whack, dawg. All we done did was fall in a goddamn hole. Look!" He pulled an oddly convenient flashlight out and pointed it toward a family of Digletts. "It's a family of fucking Digletts!"

"Why you say it like dat?" say Ash. "The "D" in Digletts should be lower case because it's not a proper noun, dickfart."

"Your mom's Wet Pussy isn't a proper noun either, but all them fuckboys out there don't give a shit. They just see the words "Wet Pussy" and "MILF" and they knees turn into jello, fo'. Besides, I'm Gary Motherfucking Oak. I'll capitalize What I want To cApItAlIze."

"Shoot, u got me," saids Ash. "How the fuck am I getting out this danged hole?"

"You could use your Charizard. Oh wait, you can't, because you fucking DON'T HAVE IT."

"Hey," said Ash. "Don't you even fucking..."

"Nah, man, nah. Let me say my piece, muthafucka. I'm tired of your stupid ass always leaving behind your best pokemon. Damn, son, you kicked your fucking GRENINJA to the curb back in Hawaii, and that Naruto-ass piece of shit was your BOI. What the fuck? Some kid in Hawaii has it now, and it's prolly all "Ash, why you do this? I thought I was ya nigga, believe it!"but no. You just like "Huh huh, I'm Ash, and I'm ten years old, bye!" and that's that. You always doing that to your pokemon because you a DUMB SHIT."

"Fuck you, Gary Oak," said Ash. "Now get me out of this fuckin' hole."

"With pleasure," said Gary, pulling out a convenient Escape Rope. He and Ash grabbed onto it, sang a secret little rhyme, and wind up back in Ash mom livingroom like ain't none of this shit never happened.

"Mr. Mime!" said Mr. Mime, and he handed Ash and Gary a plate of hotdogs, a bong, and a copy of Bee Movie on 1080p stunning Disney bluray."

"Word up, MI-EEEEM!" says Ash, and they did high five like this is the fuckin' 90's.

They watch Bee Movie. Jerry Seinfeld smoked a fat one. All was well.

Until Ash mom come home with her new husband.

to beemovietinued