Disclaimer: I do not own the rights for the characters. I thank L. J. Smith for creating this beautiful books, Julie Plec for creating the show and TheCW for showing it.

Second chapter in a day. My way to apologize for the longer hiatus before.

This is the bad before the worse
This is the storm before the storm
I haven't even hit the bottom of this ocean floor
This is the bend before the break
This is the mercy not the grace
This is the proof and not the faith I try to find
There shouldn't be a good in goodbye

If I never loved you, if I never felt your kiss.
If I never had you, I know that I
I still would have mourned you
I would have missed your smile

- Jason Walker Shouldn't be a Good in Goodbye

24/11/2012, 3:46 pm, my room at boarding school

'' Hey Caroline, can we talk, please?''

I made a decision. And I chose to tell them everything. After nearly three months I just couldn't keep it to myself anymore.

'' It's about what you said to me earlier and I-''

'' You don't expect me to apologize to you, do you? I really did mean it like this!''

she looked at me angrily, but also hurt. And that's when I realized I made the right choice. I just couldn't live without her being my friend. And even if I could I didn't want to.

'' No, I don't expect you to apologize. I think rather should I apologize. And I am really sorry. About everything. But mostly about that I didn't tell you the truth. And that's why I wanted to talk to you. To finally tell you the truth. Maybe you'll understand then why I am like this or better why I act like this.''

There were already tears streaming down my face. That showed how hard it was for me. To open up again, after everything that happened. But I wouldn't back down. I would be strong and tell it to her. Our friendship was worth it.

She looked at me. Disbelieving and confused.

But still, she took my hand and pulled me to my bed to sit down.

She then sat next to me and said: '' Okay, then tell me!''

I took a last deep breath and then I told her.

And I told her everything.

How my life was used to be. About my brother and parent's accident. And how after that my world fell apart.

I told her how I nearly killed myself, about Dr. Fell, that at the beginning I didn't want to come here.

I really told her everything. And my tears didn't stop streaming. And after a while she also began to cry.

When I was finished talking. She hugged me.

'' Thank you.''

Now I was confused. '' For what?''

'' For telling me, for being honest with me, for trusting me.

But what I still don't really understand is why you made out with all the guys and why you're now trying to push Damon away.''

She looked at me patiently. I just had to think about how I could explain it to her.

'' I think I did it, because I was scared. I was scared that if I let someone in, and if I started caring for that someone, that I could always loose this someone again, like how I lost my family. Because of that I always made out with different guys. So that I didn't know them long enough to care about them or even have feelings for them. And while I made out with them I could forget about my past for a bit. But Care, you really have to believe me, I've never slept with any of them.''

'' I believe you.''

And this three words really meant the world to me in that moment.

And because they meant so much to me I started to cry again.

24/11/2012, 5:30 pm, Damon's house

I rang the bell.

This conversation would probably be much harder than the one I had with Caroline. But I chose to tell him so I would. And I also promised it to Care.

And I really had to tell him. But still, I was terrified.

I wanted things between us to change, but at the same time I wanted them to be just the same as they were before.

I had feelings for Damon, but I was scared they weren't mutual.

But for now, I would just tell him about my past. The rest would have to wait. I just wanted him back.

The door was opened and Damon looked at me. Disappointed and angry.

'' What do you want? I thought you would be busy sleeping with your boytoy or however you call them.''

Outch, that hurt. But I probably deserved it.

'' I'm here because of our literature project.''

'' Elena, listen, I really don't think it's the best idea after what happened today.''

He couldn't even look me in the eyes anymore. And he looked so sad.

I really wanted to see his piercing blue eyes sparkle again and his mouth making this beautiful smile again. I just wanted to see him happy.

'' Because of that I'm here. I want to explain everything to you. But only if you want to. I would understand if you didn't but I wished you'd listen.''

He looked at me and I could see that he was thinking about it. We were just standing there for a moment of silence, but it felt like hours.

I couldn't promise not to cry if he'd sent me away. I really needed him back as my friend. I missed him. And it's only been a day. When I couldn't stand it anymore and just wanted to turn around to leave defeatedly, he said:

'' Okay, come in.''

He hold the door open for me and I walked in.

That was the first step. But the next one would be the hardest.

13/08/2012, 11:43 am, boarding school

Wow.

This really looked like a palace. The photos hadn't even nearly shown how large this building was. It could really be an old palace.

'' So Elena, I see your look. And I know that look. You like it.''

Matt knew me a bit too well. But I couldn't let them win this one.

'' Yeah I'm impressed. How could you not be? And yes, I like the building. But that doesn't change the fact that I don't want to be here. And by no means for the rest of my school life. But like I said, the building is impressive.''

Matt and Jenna rolled their eyes simultaneously. For the whole three hours of our flight I complained about going here and they were both tired of it.

'' So we're gonna meet the principal today, you will get your dorm room and we can look around the campus, okay?''

My aunt told me that for the fifth time. I think she just wanted to talk so that I couldn't talk anymore.''

'' And Elena, behave. If you don't you'll ruin your school life and everything you've worked for so hard.''

Matt looked at me with a serious expression. I knew that I couldn't behave like this in front of my principal to be. I wasn't that dumb.

I just wanted to annoy them a bit more and maybe even scare them. That at least they deserved.

We then headed to the principal's office. My aunt talked to the secretary for a moment before we were let in.

'' So you are Elena!''

The principal hold out his hand for me to shake it. I took it and smiled politely.

'' Yes I am. Nice to meet you-'' Shit what was his name again. I knew it a few seconds ago. It started with L. Ah I remembered.

'' Mr. Lockwood.''

Jenna let out a sight. She was relieved I behaved. And I even remembered the name.

'' Yeah it's nice to meet you, too. And you then have to be Mr.. Donovan and Mrs.. Sommers-Saltzman, Elena's guardians?''

They also exchanged greetings and handshakes and after that we sat down.

'' So Elena I've seen your grades and I can tell you we're really happy to have you here. But I have to admit that I'm a bit disappointed you didn't join our basketball team. They could really need your help. But it's your decision and I'm gonna accept it. ''

He smiled at me. Principal Lockwood was an older man, probably around 50. But he still looked in good shape. If he was a bit younger and not my principal he could have been a good distraction. But he was my principal and he was old., so I had to look for someone other.

'' So Elena, here's your timetable. The other students get theirs when school starts, but because it's your first year and everything I decided to give it to you today. I hope there are no mistakes with your choice of subjects. ''

He handed me the paper.

I looked at it. Despite that being a boarding school, I had a lot of free time. Especially in the afternoon. My last period was only until 3:30 pm and then I had break until cheerleading at 6:45 pm. Okay, maybe it wouldn't be as bad as I thought.

Mr. Lockwood talked for another 30 minutes about the school, rules, and philosophies and stuff like that.

So the boarding school was an only boarding school. Normally all students lived here too. There were only a few exceptions, so only a few students lived outside.

Under the week, I had to be back at the school at 11 pm and at midnight I had to be in my room. At the weekends I had to be back at 1 am and in my room at 3 am. I could also sleep outside school at the weekends, but for that I had to fill out a form first. But all together it wasn't that bad.

And like my aunt told me, the holidays were long enough to fly home.

After our conversation, Principal Lockwood showed me too my room.

'' So you get a code which you have to tip in. Then the door will automatically open. Normally you change it, but you have to do that together with your roommate. Unfortunately she isn't here at the moment, because of the holidays. But her name is Caroline Forbes. Like you she has cheerleading, so you'll see her there, too. And it's her third year at this school. She's a really nice girl and I think you'll like her. So this is your room.''

He opened the door with a code and gave me the next paper, with the roomnumber, code and everything else I needed to know about my room.

'' So I have to get back to my office, but if you have any questions, you know where to find me. And please come say goodbye before you leave. I'll always like to know who's here.''

And with that he left. And I had time to look around my new home.

So what do you think?

I have to apologize again for something I just realized. I didn't check the dates so it could be that Elena's has school, but it's actual Sunday. If that's the case I'm sorry I haven't thought about it before. And also I'm not good with american holidays. So don't be mad if I forget one.

Next chapter will be really emotional, because of Elena's confession to Damon. It's not written yet, but I promise to hurry.

Thank you again for all the support. That means a lot to me.

R&R as always.

Love PrincessNeens

And follow me on twitter if you like my story: PrincessNeens