No lemon, just some *cough* interesting discussion at the end of the chapter. Thought I should warn y'all anyway.

"Ohh," Edward moaned as he walked into the living room, bending to stretch his back. Roy glanced up from his place reading on the couch, but didn't move. Hmm.

Trying again, Ed winced audibly as he walked in front of the man before sitting next to him, rubbing his back obviously.

Success. "Oh, alright, I'll bite. What is it?" Roy sighed good-naturedly.

"My back hurts," Edward whined. "I'm not used to all this extra weight…" With that, he patted his bulging stomach affectionately.

Roy grinned widely. "How about I give you a massage?"

"Yay!" Clapping his hands together, Ed jumped up and plopped right back down on the sofa, this time with his bare back facing Roy. He felt warm hands press against his lower back and smiled when the man leaned in, resting his head on Edward's shoulder.

"You planned that, didn't you?"

Ed nodded unabashedly; after all, it wasn't like Roy was mean enough to stop now that he had started. "To be fair, my back is hurting. I just thought a massage from you sounded nicer than stretching the ache out on my own."

The man chuckled, and Edward leaned back onto the hands behind him. They moved slowly, thumbs rubbing in small circles, moving up his back and down again. Ed found himself sighing and humming. "You're good at this," he murmured.

"Well, yes, I suppose I am rather good with my hands," Roy teased, stopping for a moment to let his fingers slide forward and up Ed's front. Shivering, Edward was about to respond, when—

"Okay, one, you guys need to realize we have bedrooms, and two, you can't head that way anyway—Ted just called, he had a patient cancel, so he wants you to move your appointment up and come in now."

Ed twisted his head to see Alphonse standing in the doorway to the kitchen. "Hey, Al."

His brother huffed, rolling his eyes. "Don't 'Hey, Al' me, you always do this right when I walk it, I don't want to see that…"Al shuddered, and Edward smiled a little guiltily remembering the time Alphonse really had walked in on them.

"It's just a massage," Roy chuckled, turning around as well.

Al snorted. "Don't think I can't see your hands, Roy."

Edward laughed as the man glanced guiltily at his hands, which were indeed dangerously close to Ed's pants. "Okay, okay, you win," Roy muttered, standing up. "Ed, go throw on a shirt."

It only took Edward a moment to dash back to Roy's room—where he had been sleeping lately—and grab a shirt before walking back to the living room. He kept going, right out the door that Roy was so graciously holding open for him, pausing when he didn't hear footsteps behind him. "You coming, Al?"

Alphonse made a face. "No, Ted warned me I might want to stay out of this one. Actually, he said the same for Roy, but I figured now that you two are—" Al waved his hand vaguely. "Anyway, I figure it doesn't matter at this point."

Laughing, Ed waved as he walked out the door.

The second Edward entered Ted's office, he was talking. "Still no bleeding, no cramps—apart from in my back aching a little, but you said that was normal enough—still growing, too, and I can feel my baby moving around every once in a while, though she still doesn't kick."

Ted simply laughed, nodding. "Good, good, that makes my job easier. But where did you get 'she' from?"

Ed shrugged. "I'm thinking a girl."

The doctor grinned simply. "You know, you're so…inspiring. I, for one, am constantly awed by the miracle of life, but you'd be surprised how many women come in here angry that they've become pregnant. It can be quite disheartening. But then I see you, a male who never should have been put in this situation, and of course you were scared at first, but—you're so happy, so attached to your baby…it's just a wonderful thing to see."

Hands automatically floating down to rest on his stomach, Edward smiled softly as he responded. "Thank you, but it's nothing, really. At least, it seems like nothing—I can't imagine not loving my baby, not being happy with how everything turned out…"

"And the fact that it comes so easily to you is the best part," Ted murmured. A short silence filled the room, during which Roy rubbed gently at Ed's arm. "Well," the doctor continued after a moment. "You've already answered almost all my questions."

"Almost all?"

"Yes, I do have to tell you, it's about time you started stretching with something larger than your fingers. I can schedule time with a nurse a couple times a week, if you'd like…?

Surprised by the sudden turn in conversation topic, Ed blushed. "Oh, um, that won't be necessary. I've, er, already started having—having Roy 'help' me."

Ted, evidently getting the implication, laughed heartily. "I had a suspicion that might have happened," he chuckled.

Ed blinked. "How?"

By way of answer, the doctor simply pointed to Roy's arm, still around Edward's shoulders.

"Oops," Roy stage whispered. "Ed, I think I gave it away."

Edward rolled his eyes. "Anyway, yeah, a nurse won't be necessary."

"Excellent!" Ted announced, standing up to rifle through his desk. "In that case, since you've already started, I might as well give you this a little early…here!" He pulled out a white box, not massive but still rather large. The doctor handed it to Ed, who handled it a bit apprehensively.

Pulling up the corner and peeking in, Edward slammed the lid shut, face reddening. "Yes, sorry, sorry, I should have warned you," Ted apologized. "That was specially made—I had to make sure you used something sterile, and I had to specify the size I wanted. During the last month of your pregnancy, I'd like you to use that to stretch yourself out further. Don't use it before then, and not more often than once a week; I need you to be able to handle the delivery, but we don't want your muscles stretching out permanently, that can cause health issues. Oh, and after you use it, be sure to clean it before you do so again—"

Ed finally spluttered out a response "I—I'm supposed to—why did it have to be shaped like that!?"

Ted looked at him, surprised. "Well, I figured what with your orientation you wouldn't mind, and that's a natural shape for insertion—"

"So what is it?" Roy asked curiously. Edward held the box away from the man, flushing further as image after image of it in Roy's hands bombarded him.

But Ed's arms didn't reach quite far enough, and Roy snatched it from him, opening the box carelessly and pulling the object out: a long, absurdly thick, flesh colored…dildo.

Roy looked at the object he was holding silently for a moment. Edward jumped when the man started laughing—something about the sound. It wasn't, "Ha ha, funny," it was, "I'm going to torture you so hard with this later." Simultaneously terrified and aroused, Ed tried to keep his thoughts away from what Roy was probably already planning.

Ted coughed gently. "Anyway, yes, that should be good for the final stages of your stretching."

Edward nodded mutely.

"Is he alright?" the doctor asked, sounding worried. "I thought it would be useful, but…"

"Oh, he's fine," Roy answered, a strange light in his eyes. "But if you'll excuse us, I think I should be getting him home…" Ed allowed the man to pull him up and whisk him down the hall, checking only to make sure he had stowed the toy safely away in the box.

"Only during the last month!" Ted called after them.

"Yeah," Roy muttered under his breath. "'Only the last month,' my ass."

Just accept it.