Weed, by Bob Saget
"WHAT THE TIDDY FUCKING CHRIST IS THIS?!" Ash blurts out upon spotting Professor Oak and his mom in the doorway.
"Hi sweetie," said Mom. "I've invited Professor Oak in for some warm apple pie. Care to join us?"
"WHAT THE ABSOLUTE SHITFUCK? ARE YOU COCKING KIDDING ME?!"
"Dude, calm the fuck down. It's just ma and gramps. They always eat pie after hittin up dat bong."
"NO GARE BEAR. U DON'T GIT IT."
Gary forrow eyebrow. He don't git it. "What don't I get, turd Buizel?"
"If you were married to my dead beat, asshole father, and mom is married to Professor Oak, then that means you were once my father-in-law, and now YOU'RE MY NEPHEW. THIS RELATIONSHIP IS INCESTUOUS. OH, THE THINGS FREUD WOULD SAY!"
"Penis, Ash. Freud would say penis," say Prof Oak, doing a peace sign with his fingers. Apparently he wasn't listening to Ash at all.
"Gramps got that right," say Gary, and flipped his hair back like so: WHOOSH-AH! "And besides, "incest" only applies if 1) We're blood-related (protip: we're not), 2) ma and gramps are married, 3) we're in a romantic relationship..."
"WE'RE IN A ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP?" say She. Ash, that is/ "It's FUCKING BEE MOVIE aLLL OVWR AGAIN. AND THIS TIME IT"S PERSONAL" His eyes done bulged. BULGED.
And Ash BULGED all over the place until he pass out and die. Jay Kay. He just fell asleep dummy. No one never dies in Pokemon.
"Ash, you are one stupid muthafucka," say Gary. He join Ash mom and gramps for warm apple pie. It was divine. The best part is the part where he smoke dat weed and didn't have to deal with Ash;s coma, or his raging bnoer for toilets, esclecttric shock attacks, or Bee Movie. Frankly, Gary prewferred Space Jam.
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