Hello, my lovelies! It's been awhile, I admit. But, y'know, Midterms...
Anyway, no notes, really. Thank you for reading!
"You're saying that you are my brother? I find that highly suspect, seeing as we both have parents who are not, in fact, each other." Hermione frowned, surveying the man in front of her.
"Ah, but you forget that both our parents are extremely vague and easy enough to write out of the picture. For example, all that I know about my mother is that she tends to marry men and kill them for their money. I don't even know her name, and I'm not entirely certain I have a father. I may well be a test tube baby."
"Don't worry. Harry, the Weasleys, the Lovegoods and the Malfoys are really the only people with well-developed families."
"Don't forget the Dumbledores. Their family is so well developed that it would be mentioned in a book within a book," Blaise added, and Hermione nodded.
"Agreed. But I can't help but think if we were to be portrayed in a movie that I would be played by a white actress, and you a black actor. How could we be twins?"
"We're fraternal."
"I'd buy that," Hermione nodded seriously, and Blaise rolled his eyes.
"I'm kidding. If, hypothetically, a book were to be written about us, I would be described as a dark skinned Italian, and you would be ethnically ambiguous," Blaise declared, and Hermione smiled.
"So I could be Polynesian? I've always admired their culture!"
"Not with that hair!" Blaise laughed. "So anyway, when I read our mother's will, because she's and conveniently dead now, I immediately forgot my decades long blind hatred of you purely on principle. Obviously, you're the pureblood sister I've always secretly longed for, so I am instantaneously changing all of my previous, fairly undeveloped ideologies. "
"I appreciate you setting aside your pureblood beliefs," Hermione nodded, "I have to admit, though, it is rather odd when you think about it. I haven't spoken to you…well, ever before now. Honestly, I completely forgot you existed until our sixth year."
"That's fair," Blaise accepted. "Most people did. I didn't even speak for our first six years at school. In fact, Blaise is such an ambiguous name that people widely assumed I was a girl until my sixth year, when I was finally given a pronoun."
"How unfortunate." Hermione declared, and Blaise nodded solemnly.
"Indeed. Now then, because you are a Zabini - not to be confused with a Zamboni- you have to look fabulous at all times. Fortunately for you, I'm Italian, very vain, and possibly bisexual depending on whom you talk to, so I have to be good with fashion. And hair- that overgrown poodle on top of your head has to go."
"Wait, if I'm a Zabini, that means I am a pureblood, yes?" Hermione frowned slightly. "So all these years I've been championed as the figurehead of a politically persecuted group that I'm not even a part of?"
"Well, yes," Blaise hedged. "But you were very good at it. You really represented the oppressed community quite well."
"Why, this is a perfect chance to take my revenge and rub it into Draco Malfoy's face that the mudblood he teased for all those years was actually a pureblood princess!" Hermione cried with glee, experiencing a sudden personality change and need for revenge.
"You shouldn't say that word," Blaise frowned. "Despite advocating for the entire muggle born community to be ostracized, I am now wracked with guilt because you are my sister and will show that I am a good person by banning you from using that slur as your own."
"I'm not quite sure that's how it works, but I'll go with it," Hermione shrugged.
"Now, let me take these obviously placed glamour charms off of you and we'll be on our merry way as family!" Blaise waved his wand, and suddenly Hermione's brown hair turned into glossy black curls, her freckles disappeared, her bust increased, and her eyes turned green.
"Green eyes. Interesting." Blaise frowned, surveying her. "We Italians rarely have green eyes."
"Well, I did get this interesting letter from Theo Nott the other day," Hermione shrugged. "His father conveniently died and left in his will that he was my twin brother."
"Well, his family is rather ambiguous as well. Perhaps we have incredibly promiscuous parents?"
"Quite. Because I've also received notice from Goyle, Malfoy, Parkinson, Greengrass, Mulciber, Avery, and Rowle."
"That is quite a lot of siblings," Blaise acquiesced. "Are we all adopted then?"
"I'm not entirely certain. I suppose we could take a blood test."
"Better plan- you agree to be my sister, and I'll take you on a shopping trip to Paris."
"Who would pass up Paris?" Hermione tittered, and accepted Blaise's arm as he activated his hidden portkey and took her to Paris on a magical adventure. They never found out if they were actually related, but quite enjoyed the shopping trip anyways.