Weed, by Dickfart

It is seven to the oh to the clock in the muthafuckin evenin when Ash wake up. "Yup, still in a coma," he said. Usually at this time Ash pull out his meat weiner and has Pikachu use it as electiric rod until rainbows shoot out his crotch, but this morn he say nah and hit up DAT WEED befor taking his rittalin.

"Is hard work Pikachu Pika," say Ahs. "Being home, smoke that weed, be soul crushing existential crisis over how, as my knowledge of being in a coma grow, so do my chancess of dying like a corpse."

"Pikapi," Pikachu say. What he is actually saying is Satoshi, because Ash's real name. The call him Ash because he smoke all that weed, and are become covered in Ash, and thus the woeld turned to Ash, while he stick his fist up Latias ass and make her cum psychic attacjs. Don't worry, she was in gender neutral Pokemon forme, not bitch with dumb hair farm. That would be sexist. All hetero sex is rape according to tumblr. That's why I progressively rite gay porn about Bee Movie, wich is the very best movie like no one ever was.

"SPACE JAM," Gary yelled in his sleep next door. He did that every night.

That's da patower of Ash's coma. He get all the bitches he want, they he say "I'm Ash from Pallet Town, and I lost the POkemon league again." They cry and suck on his toes. Get aroused.

"I deserve a fuckin' day off. What you say?" Ash say, and Pikachu ecerlectiric shock him boner just for the hella fun.

So here's a list of things Ash do on his day off:

Smoke that weed.

Smoke it again.

Fuck some bitch

In Smash that is

Ash eighteen year old

But he still looks ten

Do I gotta tell ya all over again?

Ash go to movies. Movie suck because it wASn't bee movie

Ash then go home Skype Gary. Tell Gary "yo, Cracker barrel fire Brad's wife. Why Cracker Barrel fire Brad's wife?"

"I put in petition," say Gary. "Just kid. I'm gonna buy cracker barrel and change it. Instead of shitty store and cheap restaurant, here what we do: Find all the most racist muthafuckas. I'm talking they actually voted for Ghetsis Harmonia Trump in Unova, OK? Find those white asshole pepe the frog fuckboy dongwongers, put them in a Cracker Barrel barrel, and them roll them bitches down a hill and into traffic. PRetty good idea huh? Pokemon never die, but ain't nobody say shit about crackers."

"You do that," Ash say. "I don't hero no more. Mewtwo unfriended me on facebook after posting 8284590826092458720967 selfies of me and Pikachu."

"What you gonna do then, sit at hime watch shitty Bee Movie."

"BEE MOVIE ISN'T SHITTY. ARCEUS BOWS TO BEE MOVIE."

"Ok Ash, I'm save the world now, ok bye."

Ash fulfillmented his wish of getting fat and greasy and watching Bee Movie all day. Pikachu call Meowth on phone and have sexy conversation. Ash no pay attention to him now. Such crai. Much angst.

And thus the world shall turn to Bee Movie.