Dear Diary

We have had quite the week, with Claire's birthday and now prom is coming up fast. My dress has been picked out and I am really looking forward to enjoying a night out with Damon. Since he has been home all our attention has been on Claire so it will be nice to have an evening to ourselves and spend a couple hours having fun.

Caroline has the whole night planned out with a limo, professional photographers and an after party at Tyler's. She has been talking about this night non-stop and while Damon and I aren't sure about going to Tyler's afterwards, Caroline is doing everything in her power to convince me. As she says prom only happens once but as much as that is true she tends to forget that Damon and I have other responsibilities including Claire that she doesn't have to worry about. Sure I would love to spend the whole night with my friends but with a two year old at home we can't be out partying all night.

My nerves have also been keeping me up at night as I have yet to get my acceptance letters. Caroline has already received one of hers and although she has only had hers for about a week I'm really starting to freak out that I didn't get into Virginia State University. This year has been so hard that I really don't want to have to go through another year where Damon and I are separated and it has also been hard on Claire. I haven't given up hope yet though, for all I know my acceptance letter is in the mail.

Elena

For about the fifth time since Bonnie had arrived at the hair salon she looked down at her phone. She was having a hard time concentrating on getting all ready for prom with Elena and Caroline as she was waiting anxiously for a call back about the modeling gig in Atlanta.

Next to her, Caroline and Elena were getting their hair done as well for the big night and Caroline was giving her friends a play by play of everything they would be doing for prom night. Caroline was especially excited because she had spent the last two months preparing for tonight as she was head of the prom committee.

"Everything is going to be perfect tonight!" Caroline gushed, "what time do you want the limo to stop by to pick you up Bonnie?" she asked as her hairstylist was curling she long blonde hair.

When Bonnie gave no answer Caroline asked the question again but still Bonnie seemed preoccupied with starring at her phone. Elena's eyes tried to glance over at her friend without moving her head too much as her own hairstylist was styling her hair in a half up half down do.

"BONNIE!" Caroline snapped trying to get her friends attention.

"What?" was all Bonnie said as she turned and looked at her friend who didn't like to be ignored?

"What time should the limo swing by?" Caroline repeated but now sounding annoyed.

"Oh, actually I don't need you to pick me up" Bonnie responded as she looked back down at her phone.

"What? What do you mean? I thought we were all going together?" Caroline asked not sure why Bonnie was suddenly changing the plans.

"Connor got a limo for me" Bonnie told her with a smile, "He's my date."

"What, since when?" Elena asked knowing that Bonnie's mom would not be pleased.

"Since always" Bonnie told them a little annoyed that her friends weren't very supportive of her relationship with Connor. It didn't seem to matter how many times she said she loved him but her friends still would not accept Connor.

"But Bonnie this is our prom, we have had this planned out since we started high school" Caroline reminded her.

"I'm sorry things aren't working out the way you want them Caroline" Bonnie said although it was obvious she didn't mean it at all. Looking back at her phone she saw it started ringing and before Caroline could respond with a come back Bonnie was up out of her chair and running out of the salon to answer the call she had been waiting for.

Watching her leave Elena nervously bit her lip at how dependent Bonnie had become of Connor and this path at becoming a model. Her friend was all skin and bones now and there were many times Elena was afraid her friend might just collapse right in front of her.

"I'm worried about her," Elena said softly to Caroline as she saw Bonnie talking on the phone with someone.

"I don't like this Bonnie" Caroline stated, "and I don't like Connor" she added as she crossed her arms over her chest.

"And for her sake I hope to God we are wrong about him" Elena said because she didn't want to see her friend get her hurt because of Connor and the pressure he had her under. This was definitely not going to be the prom night they had all dreamed of growing up.

"Come on Ladybug you have to eat something" Damon said softly to the defiant two year old that sat in her high chair and was refusing to eat anything. Instead she turned her face away from the spoonful and put her little hands up to push the spoon away from her. She let out small whimpers as Damon tried to get her to eat from different angles but it wasn't working.

It had been like this all day, and Claire didn't seem to be in such a good mood at all. Everything seemed to be a battle with her today and Damon was really getting stressed out about it. Sadly as he failed again he gave up and set her dinner aside while Claire tried to climb out of her high chair on her own. Damon was quick to tell her no but hearing that word just made her break down and start crying and kicking her feet. She wasn't happy at all and it seemed like today nothing was going to make her happy.

"Okay you are fine" Damon told her as he lifted her up out of the high chair and carried the miserable two year old into the family room of the Gilbert house just as Elena and Caroline were walking in the door.

At the sight of her mommy Claire cried even harder and reach out for her mommy to hold her. "What is all this about" Elena asked as she walked over to take Claire from Damon and snuggle with her daughter.

Both Caroline and Elena had returned to the house with their hair all done up and makeup already for the big night. They had a fun girls day even though Bonnie had ditched them half way through and they weren't exactly sure where she had gone.

"Well she won't answer my texts" Caroline said with a huff. "This is not how tonight was suppose to go!" Caroline complained as she threw her cell phone into her purse.

"Try and relax Caroline it's only a dance" Damon told her but immediately regretted saying anything as Caroline really laid into him over his comment. "This is not just a dance Damon this is a right of passage, something we have thought about since we started high school and it is a night we want to go perfect, with the perfect dress, the perfect guy, the perfect music, the perfect corsage, and the perfect romantic evening" Caroline told him. "It's a night we wished guys would take more seriously," Caroline snapped at him.

Damon just rolled his eyes at her and how much Caroline cared about this one dance night. Caroline could see she wasn't getting through to Damon on how special this night was for girls and she quickly snapped back at him. "This is a night we want to be special so you better make it damn special for Elena" she told him while Elena was off sitting on the sofa cuddling her daughter.

"Trust me, Elena's expectations are not that hard to meet these days, the hair, makeup and pretty dress already make it a successful night especially with changing diapers not in the itinerary" Damon responded.

"I let her spend the day focused on her, I've already made this an awesome day" Damon told her with a wink.

"Damon you better not ruin this for her" Caroline threatened.

"Why don't you focus on your own boyfriend screwing things up" Damon replied and then walked over to take a seat next to Elena while she was trying to comfort their unhappy two year old.

"Hi this is Bonnie Bennett, I got a message about my audition" Bonnie said nervously as she stepped into her house and shut the door behind her. This was the phone call, the one she had been waiting for and she was seconds away hopefully from her dream coming true.

"Yes…ah huh… oh…" her voice had started off hopeful but as she continued to listen to the person on the other end of the phone call and the news they were giving her it was anything but good news and her tone changed. "I understand," she said sadly as she took a seat at the kitchen table and rested her head on her free hand. "Thank you for the opportunity" Bonnie finished with before she ended the call and then set her phone down on the table.

She remained silent and with her head down as she let out a sad sigh. "No, we are going in another direction, we went with someone else, you aren't what we are looking for," these were the excuses she was getting from them over and over again. She so desperately wanted to start her modeling career but it was easier said then done.

She wasn't sure how long she had sat there lost in her thoughts but she suddenly heard someone banging on the front door. It actually scared her a little bit as the loud banging from whom ever broke the silence.

Biting her bottom lip Bonnie quickly got to her feet and tried to hide the fact she was upset as she made her way to the front door. When she opened up the door she came face to face with Connor who was standing there with his arms leaning against the doorframe. He looked angry so it was no doubt that he knew already that she didn't get the modeling job in Atlanta.

"I take it you heard" Bonnie said as she stepped aside so that Connor could enter.

"Damn right I heard!" he snapped at her as he was pacing the floor in anger. "What did you do? How the hell did you screw this up?" he yelled at her as Bonnie closed the door and came into the room with Connor and her arms crossed over her chest.

"I…I don't know" Bonnie stuttered as she was a little taken back by Connor yelling at her and blaming her so harshly.

"I told you, you had to lose weight!" he yelled.

"I have" Bonnie fired back.

Connor gritted his teeth and roughly grabbed Bonnie's arm and was pulling her towards him. "NO look at you fat! Fat! FAT!" he screamed at her as he pointed to her arms, stomach and thighs. "Why are you wasting my time!" he yelled and then threw her to the ground.

"I'm not Connor please," Bonnie begged, as she got to her feet and walked back over to him with her hands clasped together in front of her pleading to him.

"You can't do anything right, you're fat ugly and you can't follow my orders" he yelled at her. "I need someone who can be a model and actually get a job! Someone who will take this seriously" he told her.

"I am, I am trying" she replied as she did her best to hold back her tears.

"NOT HARD ENOUGH!" he yelled and then hit her across the face.

The blow came as a shock to Bonnie and her head was thrown to the side and the sharp pain followed after the hit. It took her a minute to realize what had happened and her hand came up to cover her eye as the tears fell down her cheek. "I'm sorry, I can do better," she told him. The fear that he would leave her and find someone else terrified her, he was the one who was to help her become a model and she couldn't do this with out him.

"How? How are you going to stop being ugly? Look at you, you are not taking this seriously," he yelled at her and he hit her again and this time in the mouth.

Bonnie fell to the floor and remained there a little scared of him now and she could taste her own blood as she had cut her lip on her tooth. She was starring at the floor and her frail body was shaking as Connor continued to blame her for not making him any money.

"I've gotta go" he finally said after insulting her a little more and then started to head for the door.

Turning to see him leave Bonnie saw her whole modeling career going with him and it terrified her. "No please Connor I can do better! I promise please, PLEASE!" she begged as she got to her feet and chased him to the door.

Connor didn't even bother to turn and acknowledge her, instead he just kept on walking and slammed the door behind him and left Bonnie yelling and begging him to come back and not to leave her.

"Come on baby girl just one bite!" Elena was begging as she had Claire in her high chair and was trying to feed her dinner. Things were going just as well as they were for Damon earlier as Claire fussed and didn't want anything to do with the food. Instead she cried and held out her hands out wanting to be held. With a sigh Elena gave up and decided to give in and picked up the fussy little girl. "What's the matter?" she asked the frustrated two year old as she snuggled against her chest and let out little whimpers. Rocking back and forth Elena was humming a lullaby to Claire as she walked into the family room where she found Damon and Jeremy playing video games.

"Any luck" Damon asked without really taking his eyes off the t.v screen.

"No and I don't think she is feeling well, she drank some milk but nothing else" Elena told him as she took a seat on the sofa. Checking her watched it was almost time to start getting ready. With her hair and makeup done from earlier all she had to do was put on her dress but that would be a little easier if it wasn't for the clingy two year old in her arms. Just then Elena's phone went off and she saw it was Caroline.

"Damon can you hold her I need to get ready, Caroline is on her way over in the limo" Elena told him and as she passed Claire to him the little girl started to cry still wanting to be with mommy. "I'll be right back baby girl" Elena told her as she kissed Claire on the forehead and then quickly made her way up the stairs to put her dress on.

Making her way to her room her phone started to ring and as she looked at the caller ID she smiled and picked it up. "Caroline I'm putting my dress on as we speak!" Elena told her eager friend.

"This is so exciting and this limo is so awesome!" Caroline told he. "We will be at your place in five!" she added before she hung up to let Elena finish getting ready.

With a big smile on her face Elena pulled on her gown and as she zipped it up she turned to look at herself in the mirror. Her raspberry color strapless ball gown made of taffeta showed off shinning beaded accents at the top of the dress in a v-shaped rouched design of beads at the bodice. The rouched bodice and asymmetrical pick-up skirt had rhinestones that added a touch of sparkle to the look. Putting on a silver necklace and allowing the curls in her hair to fall over one shoulder Elena couldn't help but smile, as she was moments away from attending her senior prom.

Yet her moment was interrupted at the sound of Claire's cries and it wasn't just a fussy cry either. No this was a cry from a little girl that seemed a little scared about something and not a cry she usually let out. Running out of her room Elena hurried down the stairs, the family room was empty and she kept on running until she found Damon, Jeremy and Jenna all in the kitchen with Claire. She was crying in Damon's arms while Jenna seemed to be trying to clean her up and Jeremy was standing there looking a little worried.

"What's going on?" Elena asked as she hurried over to them all gathered around the sink.

"She threw up" Damon responded as he Jenna was taking off the little girls dirty shirt as Damon wiped her face clean.

"Oh baby girl!" Elena said as she took the few steps to get closer and took the sick little girl into her arms.

"Elena your dress!" Jenna said a little worried that Claire wasn't quite down throwing up.

"It doesn't matter, Claire is sick I'm not going to prom" Elena replied and snuggled Claire close to her. Bringing her hand up she touched Claire's little forehead and rocked her back and forth, "She's warm" Elena told them as Claire's cries turned into a whimper now that she was with her mommy. "Don't worry ladybug mommy isn't going anywhere" Elena whispered to her and kissed her little head.

"WHAT! What do you mean you're not coming?" Caroline yelled into the phone as Elena had just called to tell her to not bother stopping by her house. "Elena this is prom!" Caroline told her.

"My daughter needs me" Elena told her as she looked down at Claire in her arms while she had the phone pressed to her ear. "She is sick and I can't leave her," Elena explained.

"What about Jenna?" Caroline asked.

"Caroline I'm sorry" Elena told her although it was obvious that Caroline wasn't happy with the new development. Caroline was doing everything she possibly could to get Elena to change her mind and go to the prom but Elena had already made up her mind.

"Will you come later?" Caroline asked still not understanding that Elena wasn't going to prom this evening.

"No I need to be here for Claire" Elena explained again. Caroline finally came around and realized that there was nothing she could say to make Elena change her mind so sadly had to say goodbye as she was now pulling up at the school. With a sigh Elena hung up the phone and made her way over to the couch where Damon was sitting in a new shirt since Claire had ruined his during her little incident.

"You okay?" Damon asked as Elena came to sit next to him as she had Claire snuggled on her lap.

"Sometimes Caroline forgets that I can't just run off and be like every other seventeen year old. I'm a mom and can't do whatever I please all the time" Elena stated in frustration. After getting off the phone with Caroline she knew her friend was upset she wasn't coming and was trying to make her feel bad about ditching her. Every once in a while Caroline would get all upset when things didn't go her way because Elena had to be there for Claire and she always made her feel guilty. She knew it was hard for her friends to understand that she couldn't be a regular high school kid because they didn't have the same responsibilities as she did. When they are with Claire they get to hand her back over when they are done playing with her and leave but Elena and Damon can't just hand her off like Caroline likes to suggest at times. She always seemed to wonder why Jenna can't watch her while they go see a movie or something spontaneous. Elena's high school life was completely different from her friends and sometimes she wished they understood that, instead of making her feel like an absent friend.

"Sorry you didn't get to go to prom" Damon said to her sadly as he watched Elena cuddling their sick little girl while still wearing her prom dress.

"Its okay" Elena told him but it was obvious that a small part of her was sad that she didn't get to go. "It's not a big deal," she added before leaning down to kiss the top of Claire's head as she was slowly falling asleep. Elena softly rubbed Claire's back as her eyes started to flutter closed, and her tiny hands were holding onto strands of Elena's once perfectly done hair.

"You look beautiful though," Damon told her and then leaned forward give Elena a kiss. As he pulled away he leaned down to kiss Claire's head as she rubbed her little nose.

Elena turned to Damon and smiled while he reached out to run his fingers through her curly hair as it flowed down her shoulder and where Claire's head was resting. He could tell that she was a bit disappointed that she didn't get to go to prom. While to him prom wasn't a big deal he had seen how excited Elena was and how her and her friends talked about it a lot lately. She was still a high school student who enjoyed the many high school activities but at times the fact she was a teenage mother really made life hard and different from her friends.

Feeling Claire's forehead Elena could tell that her fever was coming down after giving her Tylenol. "I think I'm going to go and try and put her down and see if she will go to sleep" Elena told him as her arms tightened around Claire's body and carried her up the stairs to the nursery.

Damon gave a nod and just sat there as he watched Elena carry their tired and sick little girl upstairs. Elena was talking softly to Claire as she carried her upstairs and the two-year-old made little whimper noises as she didn't want to go to bed even though she wasn't feel well at all.

"How she doing?" Jenna asked as she came into the room and handed Damon a cup of coffee.

"Her fever has come down but still isn't herself" Damon replied as he could now hear the cries of Claire a little louder because she didn't want to go to bed.

"Poor little girl" Jenna said as she took a seat on the couch to drink her coffee. "And I feel bad Elena didn't get to go to prom, this whole year has been such a stressful one for her that I was hoping she could have had one night where she could be a high school kid."

Damon gave a nod as he bit his lip and thought about how Elena had spent the whole day getting ready but wasn't able to enjoy at least one dance.

It took some time but Elena did manage to rock Claire back to sleep and then lay her down in her crib. The poor little girl was so tired she could hardly keep her eyes open but since she wasn't feeling well she just wanted to snuggle with her mommy. Elena sat in the rocking chair with her for a good forty-five minutes and hummed a lullaby to her and rubbed her back gently. It was so hard to see Claire struggle with a fever as she was too young to understand what is going on but nothing could really make her feel better. With her soother in her mouth she rested her head on her mother's shoulder while her tiny hand played with her earlobe as her eyes fluttered and grew heavy.

Her fever had come down quite a bit at this point and as Elena gently lay the exhausted little girl in her crib she just snuggled up in her blanket with her one arm wrapped around her plush ladybug and the other massaging her earlobe while she sucked on her soother. It was an adorable sight and Elena had a smile on her face as she stared down at her little girl as she drifted off to sleep. As much as she wished she could enjoy being a high school student, nothing could take away the love she had for this little angel not matter how hard it got.

Making her way down the stairs still in her prom dress and hair still somewhat done up, Elena noticed that all the lights were off and it seemed that everyone had gone to bed. It seemed a bit strange to her and as she descended down the stairs she looked around wondering why everyone would be calling it a night so soon. Reaching the bottom step Elena walked over to the family room and checked the couch but Damon wasn't there. Biting her bottom lip she started to wander what was going on because she knew he wouldn't of left without saying goodbye first.

It was then her eyes caught sight of shining lights in the backyard that weren't on when she had gone upstairs. Slowly as she made her way towards the backyard she noticed that the lights shining were white Christmas light hung on the porch railing. A smile grew on her face as she spotted Damon dressed in his suit he had brought over earlier and he had a corsage in his hand while soft music played in the background. Her smile only grew as she opened up the back door and stepped out onto the porch taking in all that Damon had been up to while she was putting Claire to bed.

It looked so romantic as the clear night sky had stars twinkling in the distance as Damon smiled at her and stood in the same spot as she slowly closed the distance between them. "What is all this?" she asked him still so shocked and in aw of what he had done.

"I figured since you couldn't go to your prom I would kind of bring your prom to you and enjoy a dance" he told her as he reached for her hand and gently placed the white rose corsage on Elena's wrist while she did her best to hold back happy tears that were threatening to fall.

"Damon" was all she could say as he held out his hand and asked her to dance with him.

Letting out a giggle she accepted his offer and allowed him to pull her into his arms and slowly sway back and forth to the music that played. With her one hand in his, her other came around his neck and she pressed her lips to his shoulder. She was still so shocked by what he had done for her as he slowly spun them around and rested his head against hers. It was so magical as they moved around the porch slow dancing to the music that filled the air. The smile on Elena's face never left, as at this moment she didn't know how she could be so lucky.

Pulling back she was able to make eye contact with Damon and was pulled into those blue eyes as they continued to dance. "Thank you" was all Elena could say to him as he had found a way to cheer her up about missing prom. Without saying a word Damon leaned forward to capture her lips in a tender kiss while her arms wrapped around his neck and pulled him closer to her.

She felt like a failure, she felt ugly and worthless as the tears streamed down her face. Why would anyone want to hire her as a model when she was nothing but ugly and it made her sick to see her reflection? She was a fool for thinking she had what it took to be a model as she was nothing but a disappointment.

Turning the tap on in the bathtub the cold water started to fill the tub as Bonnie started to strip out of her clothes. Her cheeks were stained with tears and as she turned to look at her naked self in the mirror she saw the black eye and fat lip that Connor had given her after she lost the Atlanta gig. He was so mad at her for being such a failure and she hated the fact she had fail him too. She could still taste the blood on her lip and as she touched the tender skin she had to shut her eyes and tell herself she deserved this because she was such a failure. When she opened her eyes the person she saw in the mirror made her so disgusted. The anger grew inside her and she started throwing the hair dryer, hair spray and anything she could get her hands on and threw it at her reflection. She was throwing things so hard that it cracked the mirror and the tears in Bonnie's eyes fell uncontrollably.

A big crack went across the mirror and made her reflection a little distorted but who cared, she was ugly anyway. Connor was right, she was never going to make it as a model, she was a disgrace and not worth the space. Backing up from the mirror Bonnie turned to turn off the tap of the freezing cold water. Slowly Bonnie climbed in and her body ached from being hit by Connor and now as the freezing water sent sharp pains all over her skin. Yet the way Bonnie saw it as something she deserved for being such a failure.

As she laid in the tub her arms were resting on the outside rim of the tub as her chin was just above the water. She was trying to control her tears as her lips was quivering. She was staring at nothing in particular as her mind was racing with so much that had happened and how she had come to this moment, it was then her mind went blank as she got a little sense of relief before she slowly slipped her head under the water. Her arms that were resting on the rim of the tub fell into the water as air bubbled came to the surface of the tub and Bonnie refused to come up for air. This was her punishment and she was just letting go now, she didn't care what happened to her now and was sure nobody else would either. As the minutes past Bonnie found herself going in and out of consciousness before everything went black.

Thanks for reading.