Chapter 2

Ziva awoke to the feeling of absolute numbness. Slowly she blinked a few times trying to get used to the heavy darkness surrounding her. God, her head hurt like hell. She hauled herself up from the lying position she was in and noticed, much to her displeasure, how much effort that needed.
What had happened? She tried to reconstruct her last memories but soon stopped as the throbbing in her head became unbearable. She knew she shouldn't but as unconsciousness hit her again she did little to fight it.

NCIS

"Can you track it McGee?!" Tony stood just inches from his colleague almost breathing into his ear. "Hurry McSlow we don't have endless time" he urged, the panic in his voice clearly noticeable. It was just due to that fact that McGee didn't explode right here and then. He was just as worried as Tony but DiNozzo was clearly testing his limits.

"I'm on it Tony. Give me some time you're urging won't do any good." Just as Tony was about to give a sarcastic comment, high pitched cries nearly made him cover his ears.

"Gibbs Gibbs Gibbs Gibbs Gibbs! What happened to Ziva?! Is she okay?! We cannot lose her again" Abby the quirky forensic scientist closed her arms around Gibbs's neck and clung to it in support.

"Abbs" he gently told her off. "We don't know anything yet. Let's not jump to conclusions. For all that we know she could've just met someone and got off with him." He didn't think it was necessary to say that Ziva was more likely to turn girly and wear pink dresses to work than just dump DiNozzo for someone she met on the streets. Judging by the look on Tony's face he didn't fool anyone.

"But what if she's scared?! God she is for sure scared even a Ninja is scared sometimes. We need to find her, McGee track her phone! Tony check the airports nearby, maybe you get a hit but oh god if she leaves the country what should we do? Oh right we'll just go after her we are already Pros in rescuing her, aren't we? I-"

"Abbs" Tony, McGee and Gibbs yelled in one voice. Abby covered her face with her hands.

"I'm so scared"

"I know" Gibbs tried to soothe her, "We all are, but worrying too much won't help her right now. By the way DiNozzo she was right! Check the airports I wanna know if there's any hit on her passport or ID"

"On it Boss!" Tony took a deep breath and started working, happy to have something to do.

"Got it!" McGee informed them suddenly and jumped off his chair. "The last time it was switched on was one hour and ten minutes ago in front of the Chinese restaurant! Since then it's been turned off. I'm sorry Tony!"

"Damn it!" Tony lost control for a second and took the next best object available, letting it fly through the bullpen shattering into pieces when it made contact with the wall. He had just successfully broken his cellphone.

NCIS

She knew she was home the second she opened her eyes. Except that it wasn't home anymore. Too much had changed. It was that smell that had woken her, the dusty air mixed with gas and the smell of food was something she was used to. She didn't even need time to think she just knew.

Ziva blinked a few times, forcing her eyes to get used to the bright sunlight shining into the room. Her room. Slowly she swung her legs over the edge of her bed just as she remembered doing every day for school and then later on for field training, sitting very still as stars appeared in front of her eyes clouding her sight and nausea nearly caused her to throw up on the light brown carpet on the ground.

The familiar surroundings confused her and yet everything was perfectly clear. The cupboard next to the window Tali had wanted so badly because 'it reminded her of the fairy's castle in the book'. The desk next to her bed or the TV hanging on the opposite wall; nothing had changed in her room. She suspected even some of her clothes still being perfectly folded in her drawers.

She doubted her father had even set foot on that corridor of the huge house since she'd left for Washington six years prior. With one hand pressed on her stomach the other on her eyes she stood up and was again standing still for a few seconds. Everything was spinning around as she listened to cars passing by her window or the yelling from the street. That were all things she knew, things that had been this way nearly her whole life but at the same time it felt wrong. Her home was America now. From which she'd been kidnapped from quite violently.

Her brows furred and she hissed as the memories came back to her. Tony. Chinese take-out. Eli had wanted her here so he had made her come. Sudden anger exploded in her and made her forget her dizziness and nausea as she stormed furiously towards her door. How dare he to just abduct her and treat her like a suspect! She was his daughter for heaven's sake!

Slamming the door behind her she jogged down the hall turning left and taking the stairs down, her feet following the familiar way she had gone so many times before as her mind was busy cursing her father and thinking of various ways to kill him. He clearly wanted something from her; otherwise he wouldn't trouble himself with assigning his best agents on a task that was likely to return them with fewer limbs than they'd started with. Obviously they had taken the risk and she was the one who had lost this little game.

She narrowed her eyes as a guard crossed her way and as soon as he made note of her placed a hand over his heart. She just snorted and lucky for the officer looks still could not kill otherwise Mossad would have been one agent short in the five minutes Ziva David was running around the building.

Without knocking she stormed into his office, slamming the door shut behind her not bothering to greet the guards or the man behind the wooden desk in any way as she placed both hands on the table and looked him straight in the eye. Everything still looked as when she'd left. Pictures of Tali, Ari and herself decorated his desk and wall, the Israeli flag covered the east side of the room and a few flowers were supposed to make the room seem alive. Which is was not despite his trying.

"Ziva" he acknowledged her calmly and not at all surprised by her sudden appearance. He closed his laptop and then folded his hands in a way that made his fingertips slightly touch and smiled at her.

"I was wondering when you would pay me a visit" his calmness only made her more furious and let her explode within the next second.

"You abducted me! You drugged me in order to bring me here you treated me like a suspect and not like your daughter!" she spit unable to control her anger. Eli still did not look impressed.

"I saw no other way to contact you!" She stared at him in disbelieve for a few seconds.

"No?! What about a phone?!" She yelled stepping back because she was afraid she would do something stupid like stabbing him. Unbelievable this man! "You could've just called me for god's sake!"

"You would not have come if I had called!"

"Oh that's right" she got out between her teeth and spun around facing the door now. "And it was a mistake to bring me here against my will." She informed him. "I won't stay!"

"You are my agent! You are working for my agency! You cannot just come and go as you please; you have orders to fulfill" he snarled. It felt very wrong leaving her back vulnerable to her father so she spun around again as she continued to yelled at him.

"I'm a liaison officer and right now I'm working for the Israeli American friendship at NCIS in D.C. where you have assigned me to! So you want to take it back now because it's not convenient for you having me there? Because you don't like me being happy there? There are rules, father, even you have to follow!"

"I make the rules I don't have to follow them" he yelled back at her. "When I take you off this mission, you're off, understood?!"

She pressed her lips together. "This is not a mission. My mission was fulfilled with Ari's death six years ago, so what do you want now?"

He leaned back in his chair, eying her carefully. "Somalia has left you weak" Ziva winced at the sudden change of topic and placed her arms over her chest as she always did when the subject was mentioned. It was a shock that he of all people would bring it up now. It still hurt that he had left her to die in a desert; it still hurt looking him in the eye and seeing absolutely nothing towards his only living child. Not love, not pride but just the desire to use his self-created weapon as best as he could. It really hurt. But because she had been trained by him nearly her entire life she knew how to disguise the feeling of neglect. She was used to it after all.

"What does Somalia have to do with it" her voice was cold.

"Oh a lot" he continued casually and made a sip from his cup of tea before he hesitated and looked over to her. "Oh how impolite, do you also want a cup? It's very good Ms. Aline always has a special hand in where to get the best tea."

So he got himself another maid. She briefly wondered why he threw the old one out. "Don't strain yourself" Ziva commented dryly and Eli shook his head in pity.

"You should take better care of yourself Zivaleh, you've lost weight. Is that how men like their women over there? Thin as a bone? Because you know to me that certain doesn't look good" Ziva gritted her teeth so hard together she could hear her jaw crunch. Don't let him hurt you. You know he only wants to hurt you.

"Your point" Ziva hissed, clenching her hands to fists.

"Right." Eli nodded. "I've been told you are not handling Somalia well" shock was now clearly noticeable on her face as she tried to hide her trembling hands behind her back. She didn't want to discuss Somalia with that one person that was responsible for her suffering, hell she didn't want to discuss it at all!

"Oh have you" her barely audible voice was sarcastic. He nodded in agreement.

"It's not like you to get that affected by a mission. Haven't I trained you to get over yourself? Haven't I told you a thousand times that emotions are no good on a mission, on the job? And yet you did exactly that. You got emotionally involved."

Ziva could only stare, unable to comprehend. She wanted to scream and turn on her heels to leave the room but she couldn't move. She was not ten anymore, she was a successful agent but just as when she was little she could not help the feeling of failure that overcame her when she heard her father talking like that. It didn't matter what she did, how successful she was, how hard she tried, it never was good enough.

"The reason I sent you to Somalia in the first place was to make you understand that you and agent DiNozzo will never have a future together. I wanted you to fight for your country, your agency where you belong and make you realize that only you yourself are responsible for your actions! I know what's going on" he smiled lightly at Ziva who was frozen in place. "and I have to admit he's not a bad looking man but Ziva you have to understand that feelings get you killed! You got me disappointed." He told her matter-of-factly and watched her struggle.

"Stop!" Her father had never talked to her like that before. That might have been the first time Ziva David was out of words and she hated it.

"I wanted to teach you a lesson with Michael, and it worked you came back to me, finally realizing what you had in Mossad." "stop" she almost yelled, covering her ears. "Stop" he leaned forward, her brows furred in pain she didn't want him to see. "You accepted the mission without a second thought and why? Because you got emotionally involved. You were angry, you were hurt that your partner would shoot your boyfriend. You wanted to teach him a lesson with not coming back, did you not? But things turned out differently and you GOT YOURSELF CAUGHT!" He suddenly exploded, screaming the last words as his face got red with anger and he jumped off his chair.

Ziva didn't move a muscle at his tantrum. His hair had gotten thinner, she noticed casually. He was getting old. Eli was right, she thought, I got emotionally involved. Why did the realization hurt that much? It wasn't a secret that Tony and she got on well. They were partners after all it was their duty to get on well and solve the crimes! Was it really? The little voice buzzed in. Was it necessary to fall it love in order to get the cases solved? I'm not in love! She held against immediately, terrified. Denial, the voice snarled, brings you nowhere. Slowly her head sunk to her chest and just for a second she really thought she was about to lose it in front of her father but then her well trained Mossad facade saved her. Her eyes got cold, her face neutral.

"What do you want from me father" her voice wasn't trembling anymore, it was businesslike.
"I need you on another mission" his lips were a thin line as he waited for her to protest, to fight him and show him her independence. Her loyalty to NCIS had gotten him worried recently and so he had decided to make a move. Director Vance would probably call him soon and expect answers to why he would just kidnap his own daughter but she was his after all and no one could take her away from him. She was his. She had to obey.

Much to his surprise his daughter did not complain. "I need to talk to someone" she requested suddenly shooting him a glare he could not really interpret. "It's all been cleared with NCIS. Vance got his okay. He called shortly before you stormed my office"

Now Ziva's jaw hit the ground. He's lying, he's lying, he's lying. They would never do that, Gibbs would never allow it! Does Gibbs really have a say in that? The voice whispered. She squeezed her eyes shut for a short moment, trying to sort out the things in her head. Slowly she freed her shirt from her tight grip and moved her fingers in order to keep the blood circulation running through her now white knuckles. She took a deep breath and looked again at her now smiling father.

"I don't want to talk to Vance" Eli raised an eyebrow what brought her anger back. "I won't let you keep me hostage!" She stated with an only hardly controlled voice. "Phone. Now!" He considered her request for a moment before he handed her over his phone. "Keep it short" he demanded before he stood up and turned around to face the front side of his office which was completely out of glass.

Thanks for the privacy Ziva thought sarcastically and dialed the number she knew by heart. I can't stay I won't stay she repeated in her head. She could not. She needed Tony. She needed him to keep her sane; speaking of him he was probably worrying sick already. It was just because of these thoughts which kept her mind occupied that she only noticed the signal for a not found device a little too late. Confused she held the phone in front of her face expecting the nonliving object to tell her why it would refuse to work just when she needed it so badly. Maybe he had broken his cell she excused the failed attempt and tried to shove away the desperation that followed.

Her heart was pounding in her chest as she dialed Gibbs' number with sweaty fingers. No answer as well. Damn it Gibbs and his stupid habit to drown every phone in a glass of Bourbon when he didn't want to be interrupted. It was a shock when she realized she didn't know any other numbers by heart. From the outside she looked perfectly calm as she placed the cell phone back to its previous spot on his desk before she stepped back again, folding her arms in front of her chest but on the inside she had already killed her father various painful deaths.

"Assuming that Vance has agreed to your request to assign me to that mission and assuming I agree, how long will it take and what mission am I on?" The room temperature dropped about ten degrees by the look on his face.

"Assuming?" He asked, turning around again to face her.

"Yes" she held against.

"Well" Eli pretended a smile that didn't reach his eyes as he twisted a pen in his hands. Ziva stood straight, sensing the actual bomb to explode any minute. "First of all you'll be send to a training camp in the Negev desert before you will fly to Afghanistan to complete a mission with Agent Nazar. Details will be announced later on. The camp will take you approximately about a month. Any questions?"

He put the pen down. The plastic pencil made a dull sound as the fabric hit the wooden desk. Training camp, it echoed in Ziva's ears. She was sent to a training camp.

"A camp?!" She asked in pure disbelieve as soon as she regained the ability to speak. "You think I'm damaged, you think I'm not a capable agent anymore? You think I need special training like all the probies?! Are you serious?!" Her voice got a high pitch in the end. This was a new kind of humiliation.

"Ziva calm down. You should know I only take the best, and nothing less! Somalia has damaged you and I will fix that. It's only for your best! Plane is leaving in two hours" he confirmed her assumption of not having much time left. "Get your stuff packed up. I'll see you in four weeks when you've regained your strength and your will to fight." And with one more disgusted look at her father she spun around on her heels and left his office. But Eli could sense desperation in her eyes before the door fell shut behind his daughter and he sunk back in his chair. He couldn't lose his daughter to the Americans. He just couldn't.

Don't cry Ziva told herself. It's going to be okay.
She dearly hoped family was not only about DNA because there was no way in hell she saw this man as her father.

Tears were burning in her eyes as she slowly approached the steps back to her room, her head filled with terrifying images about Tony forgetting her or another woman taking her desk forever. Eli was right; Somalia had indeed left her unstable. Never before would she have cared about these things.

Right before entering the plane she thought about just turning around and dismissing herself from her father's orders but that would mean not following Vance's orders as well. She needed at least one agency to be proud of her. With a heavy heart she watched the doors close and closed her eyes with them as she felt her weight being shifted into the air. A month. It would be only a month.

NCIS

Gibbs watched with concern as Tony got more apathetic by the hour. The team he'd set up to search for Ziva included not only his but also Fornell's and another colleague's he trusted enough to be included. He needed every capable man to find Ziva.

There was no trace, absolutely nothing. It was like the earth had swallowed her up. It was frustrating, scaring because they had absolutely no clue with whom they were dealing with. Ziva was Mossad after all so it could be possible the attack was not NCIS related at all. He'd also looked at the situation from the private and personal angle meaning it had only to do with Ziva as a person. She'd made herself more enemies than she had hours to count them. It could be everything! Angry he kicked his computer as it refused to operate the way he wanted. Stupid machine!

He looked up and shot DiNozzo another worried glance. Tony sat on his desk one hand at his phone as if he was about to call someone and with the other he clung to the edge of his desk as if his life depended on it. He'd been sitting like this for thirty minutes now. Not even one year ago had he seen his agent so out of it.

"DiNozzo!" No reaction. "DiNozzo!" Now McGee's head got up as well, his eyes narrowing by the look on Tony's face. Everyone here was worrying sick because of Ziva's absence but compared to Tony they dealt with it the healthy way. He had slept the whole weekend on the navy yard, was still in the same clothes as on Friday and looked like death in person. He acted like an alcoholic on detox and in some way it was exactly that. His drug was missing. Ziva wasn't here to help him fix himself. The relationship these two had went far beyond what Gibbs, McGee or anyone could understand. They depended on each other with their lives and yet they strictly denied to feel any attraction towards each other. The whole navy yard knew they were deeply in love. Their relationship was an open secret literally everyone knew about- except them.

A/N – Thank you to everyone who took the time to review or put the story on alert, I'm really happy you're enjoying it and also hope to have met everyone's expectations with this chapter.

There's just one thing I wanted to talk about briefly: I always hate it when the team is written absolutely OOC and so I try my hardest to make them seem believable. I hope I succeeded. Also in this story Ziva is going to deal with Somalia and everything else I have planned for her which will not always be nice. I'm sure people will say that's out of character for her to be affected by those things but please keep in mind that on the show Ziva never really dealt with it. We don't know how it could've been like because the Somalia elephant has just never been addressed.

Also I put the rating up to T to be safe. Will eventually become M.

I'd love to hear your opinion!