Bee Movie is Jerry Seinfeld's Crowning Moment of Glory, by Dooblipbob
I played a hacked Pokemon game called Pokemon Bill Clinton Vulgar Assfucking George Bush 9/11 Red. This is what the looked like:
"I'm afraid Ash is in a coma," said the doctor. Gary, Prof Oak, Ash mom, and Team Rocket all gasped at the tragedy.
Gary whipped his head toward Pikachu, grabbed it, and yelled in its face, "Why did you do it!?"
"Pikachu pika. Pika pika pooshitdookie pikachu Pikapi!"
"Nyaaaa, my virgin ears, MEOWTH!"
"What did Pikachu say?" asked James.
"It was bad and vulgar!" Meowth quivered, then screamed, and then it pulled out a gun and shot itself. Jessie and James bolted from that hospital room, an unspoken understanding that they would never, ever come near that demonic Pikachu again.
"Don't worry, sweetums. My Ashypoo will come out of a coma any day now," said Delia, giggling.
"Yeah, you're right," said Gary with a sigh. "But what the FUCK? I'm bored now. Ain't no damn fun getting lit without my homie."
"Did you say homie?" said Tracy, walking into the room in only a speedo.
"Who the fuck is this, gramps?"
Professor Oak shrugged, and Tracy turned around with tears in his eyes and walked away.
They waited and waited, and then the doctor gave them the OK to visit. During visiting hours, Gary munched on weed brownies while having a one-sided conversation with Ash.
"I told you, fucker. I told you Bee Movie was whack. When you wake up, we're going to join the My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic fandom, where being grown males jerking off to horses is normal and inclusive."
Ash just laid there lifeless, covered in tubes and neckbrace and shit. Gary got real close to Ash, lean his head in real slow like he about to smooch Ass. He went too far and whispered in his ear, "Gary was here, Ash is a..."
"I'M NOT A LOSER!" Ash screamed, then he looked down. "Hey, what is this?"
"You're awake," said Gary. "You're no longer in a coma."
"WAT?!"
tobeemovieinued