A/N- Hey guys! This took me a little longer because I had to figure out a few things. First, thanks for everyone who reviewed! I'm also very thankful for anybody who put some thought into the story and made me realize a few things I better mention or clear up! I also got a few requests from people wanting to have a say in where the story's going and I'm fine with that. So just tell me what you'd like to read!

Also the rating is now M just to be safe and because I don't wanna change it every time. It's just going to be M now. This chapter contains mentions of rape/sex, nothing graphic.

Special thanks to EowynGoldberry who pointed out correctly that on the show Ziva resigned from Mossad right after coming back from Somalia, so basically her father has no right to have her do a mission for him! I forgot to mention that in my story her father didn't accept her resignation.

I also got the question why Ziva actually agreed to do the mission. After all she could've just said no and leave. Well first she is still Mossad. She can't just turn down a mission when she feels like it even though she's working for NCIS right now. After she finds out Vance has supposedly agreed to all of this she's desperate and can't really understand what's going on, why they would do this to her without telling her but agrees because she wants to make them proud, wants to make Gibbs proud. Eli Daivd for his part is worried about how attached his daughter is getting to the Americans and is afraid he will lose her to them so he tries to cut the connections by sending her on that mission.

I'm sorry for the confusion and hope this works out for you and makes sense. Now please enjoy :)

It was already dark outside. Not as dark as that you wouldn't see anymore but dark enough to let the lights on the tower go on. Tony oh-ed in excitement and Ziva watched him with amusement. He seemed so happy in that moment with his I-love-Paris-balloon slightly blowing in the light breeze.

"You haven't seen that before?" She asked, curious. He bowed his head to the side with a wry smile. "No. When I was in Paris it's always been for the job and I've never gotten to stay the night. When I was with my father or one of the nannies I got for the time he was away they would never let me stay awake as long."

Ziva was silent for a while. "We are here now for the job as well" she reminded him. A strange tension made both of them shiver in anticipation as they looked at each other. What am I doing? Ziva was stunned by herself as she slowly, so slowly reached out for him and put a hand over his. Touch was rare and that it came willingly was something that Somalia had made impossible.

Tony was slowly teaching her that touch didn't necessarily mean pain which was something odd. Ziva David had learned at a very young age what it meant to use her body to achieve the things she wanted and that gentle touch never happened out of love. She was trained to sell her body, to use sex just as her gun, to be controlling, to have the upper hand. The women had learned how to use their sex. To be ever ready to sleep with someone to obtain vital information. The link between intelligence work and sexual entrapment was as old as spying itself.

'Sex is a woman's weapon. Pillow talk is not a problem but it takes a special kind of courage. It's not just sleeping with an enemy and are forced to open up, it's obtaining information' as her father had put it.

She had been taught that to be in charge and in control are the number one rules you needed in order to survive. Always alone, because what good soldier would depend their life on someone else? There was no such thing as trust or love or passion in her life involved ever after her mother had died. It was not like she had forgotten how to do it or what it meant but that she found it hard to open up to people and get vulnerable again; had she spent her whole life trying the become the exact opposite. And now she had to accept the fact that there were people out there who truly cared even though that was beyond her imagination.

Those people risked their lives for her, those people would assign themselves on a suicide mission to rescue someone who was probably not even alive anymore. Those people could see right through her 'I'm fine' facade, they understood how painful memories could be and those people didn't leave her alone in her misery even when she did her hardest to push them away. And such, she thought with a heavy heart, was family.

The look Tony gave her sent chills down her spine and she couldn't prevent smiling at him lightly. His eyes were focused on her face so intensively that she had to look away, blushing. He grinned and pulled one hand slowly over her shoulder to get her closer. At first she tensed but immediately relaxed again, sinking into his embrace.

"It's beautiful" he stated simply, and Ziva sighed closing her eyes. Maybe even she had a chance of happiness.

NCIS

They arrived at the camp only a few hours later. She was handed out various weapons, had a lecture on the rules she was still very aware of and then dismissed to her small room she would share with three more officers. Ziva grimaced in annoyance when she found out she was assigned to a very special teacher, someone who would only be training her.

It felt wrong to be the one that was going to be trained, for more than one half of her life had she been the one in charge. A long time ago she'd stopped maintaining her daily training lessons only because eventually there came a point when there was nothing new to learn.

She'd been receiving lessons since she was as young as five years old, she knew every trick, could measure her actions to make them cause the most pain, knew how and what gun to use to cause damage but not devastation, could estimate her opponent to never get caught from behind. She was a good officer, she was deadly.

But as much as she hated to admit it, her father was right. Somalia had left her damaged. Her actions were not as precise anymore she'd lost the ability to face her attacker without fear overwhelming her. She was disgusted by herself that she'd allowed someone to affect her like this. But yet she couldn't help but waking up every night screaming, unable to shake the feeling off her that she would yet again feel the unbearable pain she knew they were able to cause her. The camp might really help her, she figured.

"If you should ever start fearing your enemy, you've already lost" her father smiled at his small daughter. "You do not lose a battle and because of that there's nothing to be afraid of in the first place, Zivaleh"

"I'm not afraid abba" the girl had grinned in her childlike innocence while firing her gun a second time; hitting the plastic doll right on the place where the heart's supposed to be.

NCIS

The first week was exhausting. Ziva was barely allowed to sleep and was refused food. She knew these methods from earlier on but this time they were much harder to bear.

She missed Tony terribly. A few times she tried to call him with a phone she'd found in her trainer's office but never did she reach anybody. Something must've changed with the phone connection, maybe NCIS had some technical problems she assured herself, ignoring the voice in her head that maybe they just didn't want to talk to her. He might didn't want to listen to her excuses why she didn't come back right away. Why she left him again. After she came back from Somalia he made her promise to never just leave like that, to put herself in danger again. That was right after her breakdown with the pills.

She had agreed.

Stubborn, to not give in she fought her battles, did what she had to do to get dismissed and hide under the covers of her bed. On the first day two of her roommates had thought it would be fun to flirt with her, both had to seek treatment for broken bones and hadn't bothered her anymore since.

The only thing she couldn't escape from, were the nightmares. She awoke screaming every night without any exception; waiting for Tony's calming hands around her that never came. She was scarred out of her mind to have to face them alone but yet didn't she let it show. The dark circles under her eyes got bigger and her sleeping pattern worse. She'd kill for some sleeping pills.

Other than the unpleasant memories she was just focused on her training and felt her strength coming back with every passing day. She got better, her ninja senses were rebuilt and she felt like she was 17 again. Safe. The first three weeks had passed before she began to get restless. She felt a change going through the camp as new officers came and old ones had to leave but she was still not ordered back. Her tasks got more challenging with the day but she felt more like herself than she'd done in a long time so she didn't complain.

It was only herself she was focused on, her mind was not allowed to think further ahead than how to accomplish the mission and also was it not allowed to get higher than the ceiling. She ate when she was hungry, slept when she was tired, fought when she had to defend herself and felt more safe with a weapon each passing hour. It finally gave her back the safety she'd missed when holding it for a while. She felt whole again.

Until that one day when she got a painful reminder that she was again the only woman in a camp with a lot of men. Being the daughter of the director did not help her in the desert.

"What?" She hissed when she felt the glance of her room-mate again on her. It had been burning holes in her back for thirty minutes. He smiled casually before standing up and getting closer.

"Well Ziva I thought maybe, you know we could have some fun together. It's been a long time, right?" He came straight to the point.

Ziva smiled a sarcastic smile but didn't bother to look up at him as she continued bandaging her hands and wrist for the upcoming boxing match. She wasn't surprised by his request. To men sex was so much more important than to woman. Of course he would try it, she didn't expect anything else, and six years prior she might've said yes. But she was surprised he would even ask her since her other roommates gave a good example to why he had better not.

"I'll pass" she commented dryly and shot him a disgusted look. She was not afraid anymore and honestly she had surprised herself with that realization. One year ago she would've started panicking just by a man talking to her yet alone asking her to sleep with him. Now she stayed perfectly calm, knowing she could cut him off his privates in a second.

The officer then surprised her by placing a hand on her shoulder and forcing her to turn around. "Are you sure Ziva? I mean we could all" he stressed the last word "have some fun" Ziva froze. A warning growl escaped her lips as she slowly stood up to get to eye level with him. With force she snapped his hand off her shoulder and came a step closer.

"If you should ever dare to touch me again I will break your jaw, are we clear?" It was not an empty threat and everyone who knew Ziva David would have brought the seven seas between them as quickly as possible but this officer only smiled daringly.

"I'd love your hand to make contact with me" anger built in her but she figured it was better to just leave. She had no intention of getting punished for stabbing him to death. The second she turned away she found her arms behind her back and herself pressed against his front. She felt something hard against her lower back and started breathing faster as the memories came back all at once.

With a strange noise in her throat she spun around, kicking him in the back of his knee that made him buckle. She untangled their hands and placed another kick between his legs that made all air escape his lungs. Then she smiled and looked down at the now heavily breathing man to her feet.

Ziva grabbed some hair and pushed his head down to make him look her in the eye just as he'd done with her. Her voice was sweet and dangerous as she chirped "You better listen to me, next time I won't be as generous" satisfied with herself, she grabbed her water bottle off the table and shut the door behind her.

Outside she didn't move for a second, then laughed out loud for the first time since she'd entered the camp. Even though she didn't like her father's methods, for this one she was thankful for.

A/N2- So I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. What would you like to read more about in the next one? The camp or Tony back at NCIS trying to hold himself together?

Oh btw does anyone want to be my beta? Would be very appreciated!