Dear Doctor,
I saw you with Clara today. On Trenzalore. Where you died. You both went into your time stream in the TARDIS. I knew you would live, but at the same time, there was a part of me that was afraid. Afraid that short encounter was the last time I'd see you. Thankfully, you came back to me. If you didn't, I think I would jump in myself, just to find you and give you a good slap.
I have no idea how you were able to see me, let alone touch me, but it gave me so much hope. For once, our time lines were linear. For once, you knew all that I knew, and I didn't have to worry about letting something slip. Not that I wanted to talk about the past, but just knowing that I didn't have to hold anything back gave me comfort.
I miss you so much, and it hurt when I saw you with Clara. I knew you had moved on you finally figured out that you couldn't keep holding onto the past. And I know that's a good thing, because you need to keep running. That's how you keep calm in hard circumstances; you know that soon you can just keep running when it's all over. That's one of the ways that helps you to control your emotions and let you focus. But still, seeing you with someone other than Amy hurt. Almost as much as seeing you with Donna and not recognizing me. You were my Doctor, but at the same time, you weren't.
I accepted it though. I know that you don't like endings. You can't stand them, so you run from them. So you can sometimes pretend that they didn't happen, that everything is still like it used to be.
Still, I'm somewhat angry with you. Clara told me that you mentioned me, but first off, she didn't know I was your wife, and second, she didn't even realize I was a woman. I think she only barely remembered me at all. Thanks for that. I remember how you told Martha all about Rose, yet you couldn't tell Clara much of anything about me? Really sweetie I'm a bit surprised, I'm your wife for goodness sake.
Keep running my love. Keep doing whatever you have to do to stay happy. Go save the universe just like we used to. But don't forget me, don't you dare. Because I will love you until the end of time itself. Even when I'm gone, my love will remain.
-River
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