Author's Note: Sorry for the delay in updating. I intended to complete this yesterday, but I have been battling a head cold for the past week, which hit me full force about an hour into my workday yesterday, and I spent the majority of the day in bed trying to feel better. Thanks for all the wonderful reviews. I hope you all enjoy this latest installment.

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Jennie made it to the bathroom just in time to keep anyone from seeing the tears silently streaming down her cheeks. She leaned against the door relishing the support it gave for a moment. Get hold of yourself, Jennie, she thought as she wiped away the tears and made her way to the sink knowing she'd need to wash her face before returning to the family. She knew she was being foolish to be upset by this when she hadn't been a part of Lee's life since he was a small child, but it still hurt to feel like she was an outsider in her son's life. There was so much more that she wanted to know about him, about who he was, about his life, that she'd only begun to get glimpses of in the way that he interacted with his family. She sighed as she glanced in the mirror. "My God, I look a fright," she muttered to herself as she turned on the tap.

When she deemed herself presentable, she took a deep breath, turned the doorknob and stepped out into the hall. As she did so, she heard her daughter-in-law say her name from the nursery. As she poked her head in the door, she saw Amanda in the rocking chair nursing her daughter. "My sweet, Jennie," she crooned to the baby in her arms as she held her tiny hand. Of course, you idiot, Jennie thought. She was speaking to the baby, not you. She turned to leave when she was stopped by Amanda's voice saying, "Did you want something, Jennie?" This time she was speaking to her and not the baby.

"No, nothing," She said. "I...um...I'm sorry to have disturbed you."

"No, it's alright. You're welcome to come in. I mean, unless this bothers you," Amanda said indicating her open blouse.

"No, it doesn't," Jennie said with a smile as she stepped further into the room. "It's rather a lovely sight, seeing a mother caring for her child."

"Well, now that I'm back to work, I won't get to do as much of this. It'll be the pump and bottles during the day."

"She certainly seems to have quite the appetite," Jennie said as she watched her granddaughter suckling greedily on her mother's breast.

"She's definitely more demanding than her brother," Amanda said. "But I'm glad to see it. She gave us a big scare when she was born. She was only four pounds at birth and Matt was five and a half. We weren't sure at first if we were going to be able to bring her home right away."

As she watched, Jennie's eyes fell upon the scar that rested just to the left of where her granddaughter lay against her mother's bosom. "Did that happen on the job?"Jennie asked not wanting to pry, but desperate to know a little more about her son's life and Amanda had been so open. She thought if she couldn't get answers from her son, maybe she could get some from her daughter-in-law.

"No," Amanda answered as she lightly fingered the scar that had gotten Jennie's attention. "This happened last year while we were on our honeymoon. We hadn't even been married a full day yet when we accidentally walked into a shootout. I got caught in the crossfire. The bullet went straight through my chest. There's a matching scar on my back."

"Oh my God," Jennie said. "That must have been horrifying."

"Not really for me as much as it was for my family. It was painful, yes, but I was unconscious during a lot of that time and doped up on pain medication when I was conscious. Lee told me later that once when my heart stopped, he thought his would too. I think he blamed himself for a while for not protecting me."

"Yes, I can see that," Jennie said. She'd seen him at the dinner table, how adamant he was about it being his job to protect his family. "Your older boy, is he always so..."Jennie paused unable to find quite the right word that wouldn't sound insulting to her daughter-in-law.

"No," Amanda said before Jennie could finish her thought. "It's only been like that since he found out that we were keeping our marriage a secret. It's funny. When we were planning out how to come clean, we both thought Jamie would be the one to take it harder since he had a rough time adjusting to the idea of another man in my life while Phillip got along with Lee right away. Phillip adored him from the start, almost worshipped him. I think that part of that is because his father was never around for him growing up. Jamie was only six months old the first time that Joe started traveling so he really has no memories of his father being there, while Phillip was three, so Jamie got used to having just me. I think when Lee came along, Phillip bonded with him right away because he missed having a father figure in his life where Jamie saw Lee as a threat to his relationship with me."

"Perhaps, that's why he took it harder," Jennie said. "He was closer to Lee so naturally, he would feel more betrayed by him."

"Oh, I wouldn't say he felt more betrayed that Jamie. Jamie was hurt more than angry, but he has a very logical head on his shoulders and once we explained why we did what we did, he agreed that it made sense. Phillip, on the other hand, was furious with Lee and it didn't matter how much we apologized and how much I told him that it was just as much my decision as it was Lee's, he was still angry. I thought things were getting back to normal until the twins were born. I get the idea that he thinks that now that Lee has children of his own, that he won't love them as much."

"I got the same idea from your son in his comments at the dinner table," Jennie concurred. "I think Lee handled it brilliantly though."

"He did," Amanda said nodding. She turned her attention back to her daughter who'd stopped eating. "You all done," she said to baby Jennie. She lifted her against her shoulder and the cloth she laid that. She began gently rubbing and patting her back to burp her. When she was rewarded for her efforts, she looked at her daughter wide-eyed and said, "My goodness, such a big burp for such a little girl." She brushed her lips against little Jennie's head, fastened the closure on her nursing bra and laid her daughter gently in her crib. "I'd better check on Matt and see if I can get him to eat too. He doesn't wake up as often as Jennie does. "Their doctor said that if he doesn't wake up wanting fed at least every three hours that I should wake him to try to get him to eat." He's a much more sound sleeper that his sister. He takes after me in that respect. Lee is a very light sleeper like Jennie is."

"Even as a child, he never was a very sound sleeper," Jennie said. "I can't tell you the number of nights I was up with him all hours of the night when he was a baby."

Amanda smiled as she reached for her son, gently waking him, "Come on, Little Man, time to eat," she said. When he fussed slightly, she crooned softly. "Oh, I know, it's terrible to disturb your dreams, but you need to eat." She cradled him in her arms and sat back down in the rocker to coax him into nursing. Once satisfied that he was latching on and suckling as he should, she turned her attention back to her mother-in-law. "I know that feeling," Amanda replied. "These two have been a handful, but I wouldn't change a minute of it."

"You love your children very much. I can see that," Jennie said.

"Not just my children, my whole family, my children, my husband, my mother..."She said with a smile.

"Yes, you and your mum seem quite close," Jennie acknowledged.

"Yes, we are," Amanda said.

Jennie hesitated before posing the question that was really on her mind. She took a deep breath and plunged onward. "Lee seems quite close to her as well," she said apprehensively.

Amanda looked at her knowingly and said, "Ah, you heard him call her Mom earlier after Joe and Carrie left. Amanda couldn't help but notice the saddened look on her face.

"Not just then, but at the dinner table as well after you left to look after the children."

"Listen, you shouldn't take that personally. My mother sort of adopted Lee from the say she met him and realized that he and I were serious about each other. She's been like the mother he never had." At seeing Jennie's face fall she added, "I don't mean that in a mean way. I know you did what you did to protect him. I'd have done the same if it were my children. In fact, I did once, not quite in the same situation as you, but the difference was that I still made an effort to contact my boys when I was away from them. You never did." When Jennie started to argue, Amanda held up her hand to silence her. "I understand why you didn't; you felt it would be too dangerous if it somehow got back to Blackthorne that you were still alive. I get that, but you have to face the fact that you weren't there for him and my mother has been. They are very close, it's true, but that shouldn't diminish your chance at having a real relationship with him if you both make an effort. You're going to have to put aside your hurt feelings and let him work through this. He's not an easy man to get to know and it's not easy to get him to open up about his real feelings. Believe me, I speak from experience."

"It just seems so odd to me," Jennie said sadly. "He was so open with his feelings as a little boy. He never hesitated to tell me or his father exactly what was on his mind."

"A lot has happened in his life since then, more than you can imagine. It occurs to me that you and I have known him for about the same length of time. The big difference is that you knew him for the first five years of his life where I've known him for the past five. I'm going to make a suggestion and you can tell me to go jump in a lake, but I think it's important."

"I'm listening," Jennie said.

"Stop looking at him as the little boy you left behind and start trying to see him as the man he's become. I know it's going to be hard for you. It's hard for me sometimes to believe that my boys are as old as they are now, when it seems like it wasn't that long ago that they were this little," she said with a nod to the infant in her arms. "Talk to Lee, but don't push. One thing I've learned about my husband in the last five years is that the more you push, the more he withdraws. He's the type that you have to gently coax out of his shell without him realizing you're doing it."

"How do you suggest I begin," Jennie inquired.

"Well, having read the letter you wrote to him in your diary, I know one thing that he and his father have in common. When you get a chance, ask him to tell you the rest of the story of how we met."

"You told me a little of it earlier," Jennie said "The train station, the package..."

"I know, but I think you should hear it from his perspective. He doesn't have to know that you already know a little of the story. Let him tell you all the details. It just might be the thing the two of you need to thaw the ice between you," Amanda said.

"Do you really believe that's possible?"

"Yes, I do. I know that it doesn't seem like it now, but it will get better. Family means the world to him and no matter what's happened in the past, you're his family. He'll come around. You just have to be patient."

"Thank you, Amanda," she said with a smile. "I should get back before he wonders what's happened to me."

"Well, I'll be a while here," she said as she glanced down at her tiny son. "Go easy on him and try not to get frustrated if he's not immediately forthcoming with details about his life. It's nothing personal. It's just how he is."

"I'll remember that," she replied as she exited the room with a smile feeling better than she had since first had learned of Thomas Blackthorne's death and realized that it meant she could see her son again.