A/N: The last chapter is here, also no beta so I will correct it ASAP and I'm sorry for all the mistakes. When I started this story I had one chapter and Kyle, now I have ten chapters and still I have Kyle inside my head begging me for more. Thank YOU all who read and review, YOU people rock and… I think there will be more. Next part is RATHER BE ME (feel free to read it). Thanks for reading.
Chapter summary: How Kyle and Cassian have actually met? How Kyle would react when he found out that his friend went for a suicidal mission?
And how our dear Kyle will be meddling and plotting for Jyn and Cassian to finally see the truth.
#10 A little more…
2 days ABY
Alliance Base, Yavin IV
„Andor we need to talk"
At the sound of this voice Cassian bangs his head at the underbody of his new U -wing he's currently lying under (actually the U – wing is not new hence so much work to be done around it). He knows this voice and he can tell that certain someone is angry.
An angry looking handsome man is coming to a stop in front of the U wing. His dark hair is the same shade as Cassian's and his eyes are the same dark brown, his wearing a bothered corellian jacket and he's oozing that Corelian easiness around him, now very much pissed off. He crosses his arms over his chest and starts darkly at Cassian.
"Kyle." Cassian emerges from under the ship massaging his bruised head. At the same time Jyn peers from the cargo hold of the U – wing looking questioningly at both men. She's looking at the newcomer then back at Cassian and for a few seconds she's wondering why he hadn't mention he's got a brother. But then Cassian's words are ringing in her ears "you're not the only one who lost everything" and "my whole family died on Fest when I was six." So, this could not be his brother, then who is he?
Cassian looks at his friend and then back at Jyn and he swears involuntarily under his breath. Judging by the look on Kyle's face and the tone of his voice Kyle's just found out about Scarif. It will not be a pleasant conversation.
"Cassian?" Jyn sends him a questioning look and jumps form the ship.
Kyle looks between Jyn and Cassian his eyes narrowing. Jyn starts back at newcomer her chin raised and her posture defensive. She doesn't know why this man is so hostile toward her but she can clearly sense that.
"Kyle, this is Jyn Erso." Cassian introduces the man and he notices how Kyle's eyes are narrowing at the sound of Jyn's name. Cassian continues fast because he can sense disaster in the air. "And Jyn this is captain Kyle Sarettii, my friend."
"That last is yet to be confirmed given the stunt you have just pulled." Kyle angry voice is laced with fury and something deep.
"Kyle this is not the best time." Cassian warns him sending him a dark look. Cassian knows it was coming but he was sure he had more time before Kyle would be back. Apparently, the time is up.
"There is no good time for what I want to tell you Andor." Kyle pins Cassian with a stern glare.
"I think I better go." Jyn says quietly trying to judge what the hell is going on and if she should stay and defend Cassian. But this man, this Kyle, he doesn't look like his anger comes from hate, is more like hurt and betrayal in his eyes.
"You should better." Kyle addresses Jyn not really looking at her and Jyn wants nothing more than to kick his ass. But Cassian only shakes his head like he could read her mind, and mutters 'it's good'. Jyn nods her head and walks past Kyle but not without looking at him darkly and adding. "If you're asking so nicely."
Kyle turns after Jyn ready to bark something back but Cassian's voice stops him.
"Leave her Kyle, she will kick your ass" Cassian warns his friend. "And it's not a figure of speech."
"Are you insane Cassian?" Kyle spins around from glaring at retrieving Jyn and he looks back at Cassian all previous anger back in his eyes. "Do you have a mental illness that would explain what I've just heard?"
"I don't think so…" Cassian says looking honestly into his friend's eyes. "What do you want me to say?"
"Explain, why the first thing I heard when I landed is that my friend is a miraculously saved hero of the rebellion who almost die in arms of a girl on a suicide mission? You can start with that." Kyle spats at him and Cassian winces at his words.
"I'm no hero and there was no dying in anyone's arms." Cassian speaks fast and he can tell that he's not very convincing.
Kyle crosses his arms over his chest and then something flashes in his eyes.
"It was her?" He asks pointing at the hangar exit.
"Yes, it was Jyn." Cassian says his tone warningly. Kyle just stares at him, and Cassian knows he's in deep trouble, as much he can put the master spy mask in front of everyone, even Jyn, he and Kyle practices and learned to hide their feeling together. So, if there is someone who can read him is Kyle. And now Kyle can tell how much Cassian is trying to make Jyn irrelevant and how much he's falling to do it.
"Don't tell me you did it for a girl?" Kyle asks in disbelieve. Kyle knows that Cassian can be devoted and passionate but it's always been the Alliance, there was once a very long time ago some girl in Cassian's life but it was old times and she was no longer with the Alliance. And now Kyle finds out about all this mess.
"What? No I don't know what are you talking about?" Cassian answers back, too fast for his own liking, did he actually do it for a girl? No! I did that for the rebellion, and for myself he thinks fast justifying his actions but then some small voice inside him whispers … and for the girl.
"Then explain." Kyle finally asks his voice desperate, he really wants to hear some answers.
"I don't know what I need to explain. They didn't want to do it, they weren't going to Scarif, if there weren't for us…" Cassian starts saying but Kyle cuts him off.
"I'm not talking about justifying the mission. I know why we needed the plans. I'm asking why did you decide to get yourself killed and you didn't even send me a massage."
"You were on Kuat, deep undercover…" Cassian informs him, deep inside Cassian feels guilty. He knows what Kyle has in mind, a long time ago they made a promise to each other and Cassian just broke it. But he survived and he's here so maybe he will be able to talk his way out if this.
"And you decided to go on a suicide mission. What do you think would happen now, when you were dead?" Kyle asks him expecting an answer because he really can't image being informed that his friend since he was sixteen has died in some crazy but brave attempt to save the galaxy.
"I'm not dead." Cassian answers stubbornly, maybe if he says that one more time Kyle would let go.
"If I heard correctly you might, you were lucky."
"As always Kyle." Cassian answers jokingly, he's trying very hard not to talk so serious.
"I hated it Cassian, the things people told me after I came to the base. I almost didn't believe them at first." Kyle speaks a little more quietly and a little more reason in his words. "We talk about that Cass, and you know what? You left me."
"You weren't here." Cassian tries the last time to reason with Kyle. What was he supposed to do, send his friend a good-bye massage? Cassian would not be able to do that, no matter what they promised a long time ago he would not be able to write last words to Kyle, because he had absolutely no idea what he supposed to write then, and now he still doesn't know what he want to tell him. Because to be honest Cassian is still pondering at half of the things that happened since he was sent to Jedha with Jyn.
"You too could no longer be here Cassian and I'd find out about that from a mission report." Kyle's words hurt and Cassian knows he deserves that.
"Kyle…" It is as much to 'I' m sorry' Cassian could get right now.
"I don't care, I don't need your apology, you were lucky, you're alive and I have that Erso girl to thank for that but I still hate the way you left me in the dark, I thought we were friends."
"We are." Cassian speaks honestly and almost begs Kyle with his eyes to let go.
"Think for a second my friend, and just for a second revers the situation, do you like what you see?" Kyle asks him his tone lighter but still serious, they somehow both are siting now in the door to the cargo hold of the U – wing. Cassian doesn't even remember who sat first.
"Not exactly, point taken, but Kyle it was happening so fast." Cassian answers quietly his tone tired, he can tell that Kyle is right, he truly didn't like the idea of Kyle going on some suicide mission and he – Cassian was the last one who found out about that.
"As I say I don't need your apology, I just needed to yell at you." Kyle finally smiles at his friend, his eyes, same dark brown and serious as Cassian's, are still little hurtful but his famous Corelian smirk is back on his face.
"You just did." Cassian smiles back, it's amazing how much these two are similar to each other.
"And I feel only slightly better, and speaking of the Erso girl, are you two a thing?" Kyle asks and Cassian almost chokes on breathing.
"What?" He couches the question. "No, why are you asking me that?"
"People talk about you two." Kyle informs him looking closely at Cassian still wearing the famous smirk, Cassian starts sweating under Kyle's searching gaze. As he was thinking before Cassian can fool almost everyone expect this one.
"I hate that, as we didn't have more important things to do than spreading rumors." Cassian plays offence, but Kyle only smiles wider.
"Being a hero tends to do something like that." Kyle starts and he can tell how much he's just pulling Cassian's strings, Andor, you're so easy sometimes Kyle thinks amusingly.
"I'm no hero, nor is Jyn." Cassian speaks fast and too serious. Kyle only laughs at laud at this and says.
"Oh, yeah your rebel girl," He pats Cassian shoulder as for reassurance but Cassian only narrows his eyes at him, "You my friend rebel for a girl! Andor if this is not love…"
"Shut up." Cassian huffs at him and starts gathering the tools scattered around the U- wing just to busy his hands. Kyle has that uncanny ability to see real Cassian and as much as Cassian likes his friend the thing with Jyn is complicated enough without Sarettii's skillful meddling with that.
Later this evening Kyle and Cassian are sitting in a mess hall talking about Kyle's last mission, the thing about Scarif still fresh between them when Jyn and Bodhi walk in. Cassian spots her the moment she comes to the dinner and he's wondering if it's alright to introduce Kyle one more time. Usually Sarettii is a very well behaving man especially around women, Cassian thinks reassuringly and then motions at Jyn to come to their table. He can tell that she hesitates a little but then she comes closer but she doesn't sit down. At this moment Kyle gets up.
"I think an apology is in order lieutenant Erso, this here," Kyle motions in the direction of Cassian and continues. "Told me everything and I think I have You to thank for hauling his ass from Scarif and saving him, I'm sorry for my morning behavior."
Jyn only stares at Kyle as she was judging if he's speaking the truth, then she looks at Cassian who only shrugs his shoulders as saying 'bear with him, he's just like that' and then Jyn smiles at Kyle.
"Well, if you put it that way captain Sarettii apology accepted but to be honest I happen to haul Cassian but it was Bodhi who saved us both."
"Then I need to thank you to." Kyle turns to Bodhi and holds his hand at the former imperial pilot Bodhi is so surprised that he doesn't know what to do with his tray but after some fidgeting he finally takes Kyle's hand and shakes it.
Jyn and Bodhi sit at the table and a heavy silence lingers around the table. Jyn is secretly looking at both Kyle and Cassian wondering how they've met and what is it between them that Kyle was so angry this morning and Bodhi just openly gaps at the two men.
"Are you to brothers or something like this?" Bodhi finally asks the question Jyn wanted to ask since she first saw Kyle by the U – wing this morning.
"What?" Cassian asks and both Cassian and Kyle burst into laughter, Cassian continues. "No, we are not related, I think so, but you're not the only one who asks the same question. Kyle is Corellian, I'm from Fest, we met in the Alliance forces when we were sixteen and well… I hated this guy." Cassian finishes with a wide grin on his face, a sight which makes Jyn almost chocked at the meal she just starts eating. It's truth that she doesn't know Cassian long but she could do everything to see that grin on his face again.
"The feeling was mutual." Kyle smiles back at Cassian and they share that special look that only people who survived a lot together can share.
"Thanks mate." Cassian jokes and pretends to look offended.
"What?" Kyle shrugs his shoulders and continues. "It's true, he was so proper that he almost recited the rules and guides to the alliance officer by heart."
At this both Bodhi and Jyn almost choke with laughter, Cassian is half mad at Kyle that he makes fun of him but hearing Jyn's laughter he almost doesn't mind. There were so few times that he could hear that sound and now Cassian decides that he definitely likes Jyn's laughter.
"You broke all the rules that were possible." He accuses his friend but it's not serious.
"And even the ones which weren't possible but I was trying," Kyle agrees with Cassian and adds. "Shut up Andor it was long time ago and … it ended well."
"I need to hear all of this." Jyn says to Kyle her eyes sparkle and Cassian is half amused half embarrass that Jyn actually wants to hear about his past.
"A little bribe rebel girl and I will spill all dark secrets of this one." Kyle informs Jyn with a wink of his eye and Cassian instantly feels alarmed, he knows that Kyle would never say anything that Cassian actually didn't want to see the light of day, but there are some stories that Kyle would find amusing… and Cassian definitely not, he doesn't know how Jyn would react to the sixteen years old him and some stupidity of those times.
"If you won't shup up I may actually kill you this time." Cassian threatens his friend more as a warning to shut up than an actual life threat.
Kyle looks at Cassian and for a second Jyn thinks that they will actually start to fight but Cassian only smiles at his friend, a kind of smile that Jyn had never seen before and waves his hands as giving permission.
"We met when we were sixteen and they forced us to go to Carida Academy as an infiltration mission." Kyle starts telling the story but Jyn cuts in.
"Sixteen?"
"Yes, we started young. It was our first solo mission as a younger alliance officers, even Alliance knows that sixteen years old boys shouldn't actually fight, so they made us minor spies. And it was brilliant we needed to stay at the imperial academy, learned all their trainings and methods and after a completed training just deflect from the assigned unit and come back home." Kyle continues and Cassian has an amazing excuse just to stare at Jyn form across the table. A habit he acquainted ever since he was released from the med bay after Scarif. She and Bodhi are completely focused at Kyle talking.
"Unfortunately, we were paired up, pairs were easier because there was someone who looked at your back, and this is how I met him. We were forced to work together because we were at the same age and we kind of looked similar. So, the Alliance made as brothers, gave us false documents that sated that and fed as the most important information. But let's be honest we didn't start nice."
"No, we didn't," Cassian continues when Kyle stops his part. "At the first briefing, we broke into a fight and captain Dorien needed to separate us. Captain Dorien was our instructor in the Alliance cell on Ord Trasi, they dealt mostly with war orphans and it was there where we met. Dorien decided that we were a good enough operative pair and after two weeks of intensive imperial training we were sent to Carida."
"Training? You just said that you were trained at Carida." Jyn asks them, and it's Kyle who answers her.
"Yes, we were taught the imperial military training there but before that we needed to sell the story that we were brothers and we were from Corellian system. So, Cassian had to lose his festian accent and me, well I needed to learn to behave more like an imperial upbringing teenager as I wasn't on Corellia since I was eight."
"Did you lose the accent?" Jyn questions looking at Cassian, she happens to like his accent. But she will never say this to him.
"Absolutely," Cassian starts speaking and there is no trace of his festian accent in his voice. „It was difficult but still when I have to I'm a perfect imperial officer form deep core words."
"Wow." Bodhi speaks amazed, Jyn only looks at him her eyes surprised and kind of astonished. Cassian feels smug at this moment and it makes him warm inside.
"Yes, it's impressive, but not as much as speaking Durese," Kyle dismisses Cassian performance with a wave of his hand. And Cassian continues in his normal voice.
"It was easy to pretend to be brothers; it was more difficult not to kill each other in the meantime. But then he kind of grown on me and I happen to have a good influence on him."
"Yeah you wish." Kyle snorts and looks disbelievingly at Cassian, but the last one continues without flinching.
"Most of the time, and well we came back alive form Carida after two years with top imperial training, a lieutenant rank in the Imperial Navy forces and very happy to be back home in the Alliance. But the brother thing kind of stick to us."
"And now your story." Kyle asks eagerly looking at Jyn expectantly.
"There is nothing to tell." Jyn answers honestly looking at Cassian for confirmation.
"It's either your story, or I had to believe in all the gossips flying around the base." Kyle says seriously but his eyes sparkle with mischief.
"Gossips?" Jyn asks carefully.
"Yeah, dying in each other arms, stealing ship for a girl, bad influences and heroes of the rebellion, that kind of gossips." Kyle informs her and looks how her eyes widen in the process, next to him Cassian groans audibly and Bodhi tries to look at anything but Cassian and Jyn.
"What?" Jyn asks and looks between Kyle and Cassian expecting answers.
"OK, Kyle we got the picture…" Cassian informs his friend trying very hard not to look at Jyn because somehow, he can feel hot all of the sudden. He knows that rebels like to talk but he doesn't especially like to be the topic of these conversations. So just to shut up Kyle he starts talking about extracting mission on Wobani, the part with the shovel and Melshi gets Kyle's full attention and the topic of 'dying in each other arms' is thankfully forgotten.
For the time being…
Approximately three months ABY
Echo Base, Hoth.
Kyle walks into the mess hall this evening on Echo Base and he's momentary froze in spot. The tables had been pushed to the walls to make some open space for dancing people and there is a crowd of people of all ranks and profession in the mess hall dancing, talking and apparently drinking judging by the way some of them swagger. There is apparently some celebration but Kyle has no idea and hasn't heard of any. Maybe because he's just landed but still he's good at knowing when and where there is a party and now he's feeling personally offended by this gathering and that he wasn't notified in a first place. Then he spots Cassian a few meters in the hall the same shocked look on his face. Kyle walks to him and asks.
"What are we celebrating exactly?"
"I have no idea I just came in." Cassian answers not really looking at Kyle but scanning the crowd and the hastily made up dancing floor. He's searching for someone and Kyle has a pretty good idea who his friend is looking for. Kyle walks to the nearest table and sits heavily on a chair, Cassian reminds standing still looking around.
"Who cares, if there is a celebration we may as well celebrate" Kyle grabs the bottle of some poor quality alcohol. "Are you drinking or sitting?"
"Sitting." Cassian answers and finally sits by his friend.
"So I will be drinking then." Kyle says happily, and narrows his eyes at Cassian. "What's wrong with you did you lose your rebel girl?"
"What? I didn't lose anyone I just looking… never mind what is that you drinking." Cassian busies himself with a glass and pours some brown liquid, then he tastes it and momentarily regrets this. It's awful and it burns its way to his stomach. "That's bad." He comments.
"I drank worse, speaking of rebel girls yours over there in that swarm of pilots." Kyle informs him and points with his chin; Cassian's head spins so fast that he can almost hear his neck snaps. There she's, Jyn is exactly where Kyle said in a swarm of pilots dancing and laughing with Bodhi at her side. That explains why she's with pilots not at Cassian's table, lately Bodhi likes to spend time with his new pilot friends and apparently Jyn likes keeping him company. And she's dancing which is absolutely stunning to Cassian. "Doesn't she report to you?"
"She doesn't have to repot in the base, Kyle." Cassian states the obvious and he knows that Kyle is just making him angry on purpose. Sometimes he hates the way Kyle takes care of things, only the years spent with his character stops Cassian from killing him sometimes.
"I doubt that she's actually reporting to you during missions, is she?" Kyle asks his tone light his smirking at Cassian and Cassian can't help and smirks back.
"Occasionally." Cassian finally answers to Kyle and for a long moment just stares at Jyn. He's oblivious to Kyle watching him closely and suddenly Kyle's words bring Cassian back to their table.
"Sooner or later you will get yourself killed, you or her because the level of misunderstandings between you two is closely to an alarming level."
"I don't know what are you talking about." Cassian answers fast and notice that this line he uses a lot more often than he actually wants regarding to Jyn.
"You know perfectly well what I'm talking about my friend you're just too afraid to say it." Kyle is somehow offended and his tone is suddenly serious, Cassian focuses at his friend trying to decide what's wrong with Kyle today but he only continues. "You two are not together but you happened to spend every free hour in each other company, you don't care about each other but you race to the medbay every time she has as much as a scratch on her knee and the last time you were in the medbay I heard there was some crying involved, and yes there is absolutely nothing between you two except long glances and unfinished conversations."
"Kyle where are you getting with this lecture?" Cassian finally asks because this talk is too serious to be taking place in the middle of a makeshift dancing area.
"Well I'm just voicing the facts that the whole base knows about," Kyle informs him and drinks almost half of his glass at one gulp. "But apparently neither she nor you're willing to act on these feelings and you both are suffering. And Cassian I warn you, there will come a day that some other guy just walks to her and tells her that she's absolutely beautiful and smart and then it will be too late."
"You think she's beautiful." Cassian demands confirmation, suddenly very interested in the opinion of Jyn's appearance.
"And is this the only thing you heard from the lecture?" Kyle almost laugh at Cassian. "Yes, she's, and smart and funny and apparently lonely since she's spending all her free time with us not with some hot pilot who is hitting on her right now."
"What?" Cassian eyes snaps in Jyn's direction fast and Kyle only laugh short and hollow. There is no one flirting with Jyn right now, she's busy talking with Bodhi. Cassian looks back at Kyle his eyes dark and angry, it was cheap his look is saying but Kyle just doesn't care.
"You're so easy sometimes Cassian." Kyle says with a smile but Cassian apparently doesn't find it so amusing as Kyle.
"Kyle what do you want?" Cassian asks seriously waiting for answers.
"Make up your mind Cassian or someone else would do that faster and more direct than you and she will be lost."
There is a long pause in which Cassian is trying to find words to express the emotions that are raging in his heart and head right now. The constant battle between his heart and his mind has just begun next round. Cassian's lost count which round is it.
"I don't think I deserve her." Cassian finally admits looking honestly at Kyle.
"Maybe you could just ask her that and then if she says no, which I doubt, you can drown in self-pity. But only after you ask her." Kyle answers also seriously, then he grabs the bottle and pours himself a little more of that awful drink.
"Since when are you a relationship adviser?" Cassian finally asks his tone half amused and half angry. He isn't totally convinced that he wants to talk his feelings with Kyle at this moment.
"Apparently since I met you two." Kyle answers and starts to get up from the table.
"Where are you going?" Cassian asks him slightly alarmed, what if Kyle decides to go and do some advising session with Jyn now.
"To do some flirting, maybe I will be more lucky since you apparently want to sit this one out." Kyle says with this mischief grin on his face and this always speaks trouble.
"Who says that?" Cassian asks but at the same time other voice cuts in.
"Who says what?" Jyn choses this time to walk to their table all smiling, her cheeks red from dancing.
"Nothing," Kyle answers her flashing his flirtatious smile at her. "Cassian's in a bad mood, but you just won a dance with me rebel girl so let's go." Kyle grabs her hand and pulls her to the so called dance floor. Jyn only looks questionably at Cassian, who tries to laugh at this but his jaw kind of stuck. He's biting his teeth so hard that it painful. If he had a little more courage, was a little more reckless he would just get up steal Jyn form Kyle and…
And what exactly? He thinks hard, a sort of panic arouse inside him when he finally has some answers.
I want to be with her, and not just as a friend, and I definitely don't want anyone to steal her from me… he decides to himself looking darkly at Kyle swirling Jyn around the dance floor. I need more time, I need more courage and I can't back away from any more chances… to tell her what I feel.
At the same time Kyle is looking at Cassian from the corner of his eye. How much more pushing my friend do you need, if I happen to be pushing more I may actually fall as well, Kyle thinks darkly looking in sparkling green eyes.
A/N: THANK YOU, for all your support, comments and generally for reading and staying with me on this crazy journey. I have no idea why I needed to write ten chapters to set a scene for Rather be me but it somehow happened (and I blame mostly Kyle for that). I hope YOU will stay for more. Part two is Rather be me (and I can tell you a secret there will be part 3 soon, still debating with or without Kyle?).
And if you want to picture Kyle well (take Damon Salvatore charm, Dean Winchester wit and talent for trouble and Neal Caffrey skills and… wrap it in dark smoky eyes and dark ruffled hair and boom Kyle Sarettii)