TMNT: Changes

An OC x Raph Fan Fic

Part 3 of 3 (Finish)

(Sasha POV)

A soothing bright, warm light engulfed her entire body, she felt like a feather, free in a warm spring breeze.

She couldn't see anything other then the light itself, but she did not threat, even though she couldn't see Raph, she could still feel his hand, the one thing that made her fear stay back in its cage.

She had to admit though this felt odd, she enjoyed the serenity it brought her, as quickly as the light came the sooner it left.

Feeling herself finally standing on something solid again, her eyes adjusted to her new surroundings, eyes widen in complete disbelief, she didn't have the faintest idea where she was this time, or what she was seeing was even possible, this place was the most foreign thing, she has ever witnessed.

It looked like she was in some kind of garden, there were plants everywhere, plants she had no clue what they were, or the fact they were plants at all, but she had to admit they were very beautiful, with their interesting color combinations, sizes and shapes.

Looking over her shoulder, behind her was some kind of stone archway that led only to a wall.

Did they enter from there?

(What is this place? It's so, so... I don't know what to call it.)

Overwhelmed, looking up, she could see windows or was this some kind of dome?

Either way, she could see billions among billions of stars and color clouds, it was breathtaking, where they in space?

Theories amongst theories flashed in her head, her imagination took flight, she started to wonder if she was sleeping, this can't be real, could it?

"Welcome to the garden," Raph smiled at her, letting go her hand so he can take his winter gear off, following his example, she did the same, as Raph took it, hanging it on some coat rack that was made out of plant vines.

"The garden?" she asked, looking around more, lost for words to even describe her surroundings or find the words to express how she was feeling at the moment to him.

She still couldn't believe this was happening, she must be dreaming or the cave had some hallucinogenic properties that could explain this.

"Yes, its called the Garden, I know what you're thinking… no, I didn't make it up, or took it from some silly novel. The caretaker of this place calls it that."

"Um… ok, caretaker, garden… Raph, I'm a bit confused," Sasha admitted, biting her lower lip, she started to feel a bit scared, she feared she was losing it.

Scratching his head Raph chuckled, then stopped, realizing how Sasha was reacting, taking a breath, he felt lost himself "Sorry, I guess I need to explain a bit more, well rrr… damn it I should have got Donnie to give you this explanation before hand."

Raph placed his hand onto his chin, thinking hard, it was obvious he knew the answer to her question, but was having a hard time finding the words, she didn't care what the answer was as long as he told her something, anything that would put the fear of her going crazy to rest.

Sasha placed her hand onto his shoulder to encourage him to at least try, "Take your time, you don't have to get all mumble jumble with me, and I think you would do a better job than Donnie, half the time I think he speaks another language."

Chuckling, he nodded in agreement, "Yeah, you have a point, well we are in another dimension, please say you understand what a dimension is, considering there is no way in hell I can explain it, I just accept it…"

Star struck on the word, she stared at him.

(Dimension? We are in another dimension, is that even possible?! There is other Dimensions!)

"I understand what it is… but how, I didn't know that this was even possible, I thought that was something that exists in novels and movies…" taking another look around she could see that this place could be, but the question was how?

Raph shrugged, "They are real, been in a couple of them myself in the past, but how it works don't ask, I can't answer that. All I know is that to get to this place you have to enter through a door like the one we did. That said, there are more doors I remember, and the rules are, you exit the way you came in."

"So when we leave we will be in the cave again?"

"Yep, that's what I remember; anyways do you want to look around. The caretaker owed one to me and my brothers and gave me permission to use the place for the day without worrying about other visitors," Raph gave out his hand.

"Ok…" Sasha looked at his hand, deep down, she started to feel a bit better, she didn't feel like she has lost her marbles now, as well she knew Raph would never put her in danger, giving him her hand, he started to give her a tour of the garden.

The place was breathtaking, huge, it was like an amusement park that was just gardens of everything imaginable, some look like they were picked out of a fantasy book.

There were flowers, trees, plants of all shapes and sizes, color, unbelievable colors, some she never thought would ever exist, she saw purple trees with sky blue leaves, she saw flowers, bigger than her, she was even kissed on the cheek by a flower which made her jump into the air, landing into Raph's arms.

In a burst of laughter, he wouldn't stop teasing her on it, as she turned red, huffing, crossing her arms walking away from him for being an ass.

(Raph POV)

Raph watched the frustrated female turtle walking away from him, he tried to hold back his laughter, her face, the expression on her it was more than he could bear.

She acted like the flower was going to eat her, didn't she read the sign 'Kissing Soysla' considering it explained the name and what it did.

He really wished he owned a camera, something that would have captured that moment.

Shaking his head, he realized Sasha was a little ways ahead of him, taking a step forward a whisper came from within the flowers, hiding among them.

"Raph…" the voice called lowly not to be overheard.

"Damn it, Donnie what are you doing… You know that flower is kissing your…"

Donnie narrowed his eyes, "Don't you dare, that's all I have to say, just let me know if she is out of earshot!" the brother was annoyed by the flowers that took a liking to him.

"Yeah," Raph smirked, as Donnie rushed out of the flowers pointing to them to cut it out.

"So how is it going?" Donnie asked before Raph could say something about the flowers more just to tease him.

"She took the dimension thing ok. I think she is feeling better…" Raph looked at the direction that Sasha disappeared too.

"She seemed happier, so did she… you know, open up?" Donnie stepped on the other side of Raph to prevent the flowers from continuing to pursue him.

Raph's eyes became heavy, letting out a sigh, he shook his head, "No… Donnie what if she doesn't, you have noticed it, right? How she has been acting… I… What if she doesn't finally open up? You said it seems like its eating at her, what if it consumes her… I don't want to lose her Donnie…"

Seeing his brother in such dismay Donnie only could put his hand on his shoulder, "She will, she trusts you, she cares about you a lot. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to notice that. Cheer up if you act depressed, it will only make her build that wall thicker and higher. Show her a good time, let her know you're there, that's all you can do, trust me Raph she will let you in, you're not going to lose her."

"Thanks Donnie… By the way if you dare tell anyone about this conversation I will kick your ass!" Raph smiled slyly, like hell he wanted his other brothers know about this tender moment with Donnie, they would tease him later.

Lightly chuckling scratching his cheek Donnie turned red and white at the same time, "Don't worry, wouldn't dare to think it, anyways, there is some sights ahead. Bring her the long way to the destination, I will have my part done and be out of here before she realized I am about."

Nodding, Raph was relieved to hear everything was still on schedule, "Good, try not to be seen or go where we are, and if you value your life, no spying on us, you hear me?" Raph threaten, but he knew Donnie wouldn't, yet he had to make sure the younger brother knew he was serious about this.

"Ok, ok, better catch up to her. Oh Tiger Lilies, the ones I showed you don't forget!" Donnie told Raph before taking a gulp venturing back into the kissing flowers.

"Tiger Lilies got it," Raph reminded himself running forward to find Sasha.

(Sasha POV)

A bit annoyed by the fact Raph thought it was funny that a flower, yes a flower, kissed her, kiss, not touch her because there was some wind.

No, actually moved on its own free will, bending over kissing her on the cheek.

Throwing her arms in the air, she couldn't believe it, a flower kissed her!

(What next a plant will run around like some dog, then what? Jump onto me and start licking my face?!)

Shivering, that was an odd image that came to mind, she pushed it away, still a bit freaked out she looked around noticing she was alone.

Oddly, she didn't feel scared though, this place had an atmosphere to it, a calmer one, peaceful actually, the kissing flower just weird her out not really scared her.

Debating if she should turn around and find out where Raph got to; a sound of charms rang into her ears.

Curiosity got its hands on her, forcing her to look over towards an area that was filled with thick vines, getting close to them, they started to part ways making a path.

(Interesting… should I enter? Raph said this place is safe and the garden will never harm anyone.)

Taking a breath, she managed to muster her courage, taking a step forward following the path before her.

The smell of flowers filled the path, looking up, she could see fragments of light trying to pierce through the vines, as they reflected off see through color leaves.

It was amazing, it was like the vines above her were giving her a light show, smiling, she looked forward as she could see the end, wondering what was ahead, she couldn't hold it back, she started to run for the end.

The path ended at some arch, light blinded her when she came out of the pathway, as the sight, smell and sounds came at her all at once.

The sweet smell of water, mixed with water lilies filled her beak, the warm rays of light touch her skin lightly, making her feel like someone wrapped her in a warm soft blanket.

There were sounds of water falling and pleasant charms rang within the background.

Before her, was a pond, that had a waterfall casting a colorful rainbow, beside the pond was a cherry blossom tree that was in full bloomed, but instead the flowers being white or pink, it was bright yellow.

Its peddles scattered about falling off the tree flying within the windless air, opening up her hands some fell into her hand, feeling them, they were soft, silky, and smelled like a mix of different flowers mixed into one.

No words could describe the smell.

Walking towards the pond, Sasha kneeled on top of the big rock beside it, looking within its water as the sun warmed up her shell, instantly she had a chirp escaped her.

Almost jumping out of her shell, it scared her.

(Did I make that sound?)

First time ever making such a sound, she wasn't sure what to think of it.

Sure, she has heard the guys make a similar sound at times, very rarely and they normally turn red when it happened, like they didn't mean to do it and they were embarrassed in doing so.

Taking a breath, she leaned over again, the sun felt so relaxing, as she laid her plastron against the rock, staring at the water.

(.mmmmmm…)

She was enjoying this, the feeling, then it hit her, was she basking? She remembered reading about turtles basking, but was she doing it?

Yet another thing the guys never mention to her, maybe that is part of the reason she has been having a hard time with her new body.

She doesn't know what to expect out of it, she tries to bury the feeling she has, the instincts, thinking she shouldn't be acting like that, yet it makes her feel wrong about herself, confused on how she should act and be.

Everything inside was confusing, she didn't know where to start or to think…

Sighing, she placed her hand into the cool water, noticing how her body reacted to having her shell in the sun and her hand in cold water, it was like she felt balanced in a way.

Letting out another chirp, she didn't care this time around, letting it out, hearing it, she felt happy, it was like laughing or smiling, it was the same feeling but a bit different in a way.

Closing her eyes, she stayed in her position.

Then suddenly something brushed her hand, she didn't jump or got scared, for a smell, a familiar one caught her beak, opening her eyes, there in the water was this little cute turtle, with a blue shell that shimmer in the light.

The aroma was another turtle, she actually knew just by its smell that a turtle was there.

Stroking her finger against the little reptile's face, it chirped, brushing its face against her hand more wagging its tail in delight.

With a giggle Sasha, smiled at it, "Aren't you a cute one."

"They are," a voice came from her right; startled she jumped to her feet, turning around to meet face to face with what seemed to be a woman.

She looked like a plant, tall and slender with flowery clothing, a flowing dress that dragged onto the ground, her face was kind and she smiled at Sasha, "Don't threat little turtle; I do apologize for scaring you. I am Ember the caretaker of the garden; you must be the friend that Raphael brought here. It is a pleasure in meeting you," Ember bowed deeply.

Unsure what to say, Sasha didn't move or say a peep, she was weary, she didn't like strangers, especially when she was alone.

Noticing her uneasiness Ember's eyes sadden, "I see… My apologies, I will inform Raphael that you're here, it was nice meeting you."

With that Ember turned around to leave.

(…That was rude of me…)

Biting her lip Sasha took a breath, moving past her comfort zone, "What kind of turtle is he or she?"

Stopping Ember turned around smiling, "They are Quilita Turtles, a rare species that is extinct other than here. It is said they don't show themselves to anyone, and it's rare they do. It's good luck to have a Quilita Turtle take affection to you. You're a lucky turtle; they must see something special about you."

Sasha, looked over towards the pond just realizing the one that she met wasn't the only one, since there were now others swimming around, basking in the sun.

Rubbing her arm, she didn't agree with Ember, on what she said.

(There is nothing special about me…)

"Well, little turtle, if that is all, I have other duties to do, I will inform Raphael." Ember left Sasha alone with her thoughts.

Standing there, Sasha decided she was best to stay put until Raph finds her, no point wandering around and she really wanted to stay in this spot longer, it was a place she felt her most calmest.

Going back to the rock, she watched the turtles as many climbed the rock to greet her, it was interesting how they flocked to her, she couldn't hold her giggles and smiles as he rubbed against her hands, chirping.

Some even started to do tricks like they were trying to entertain her, she never heard turtles act in this manner, then again she has never seen a blue shell turtle's either.

Clapping, she applauded the turtles that did tricks, as she did they chirped and wagged their tails, happy that she like their performance.

"Wow," Raph stood at the archway amazed on the sight that was in front of him.

As he finished his 'wow' all the turtles suddenly ran for the hills disappearing within the falls.

Frustrated Raph just stared, "Come on really? They are all happy around you and when I come the rush away like I'm some scary monster. Damn it, I am a turtle too, you know."

Raph pouted, all of a sudden, Sasha burst into laughter almost rolling off the rock, holding her sides that felt like there were splitting into two.

She could feel the glare off Raph that only made her laughing fit worsen as her eyes tear up.

"Oh, you think that is funny do you!" Raph loomed over her, then went for her sides between the slits of her plastron tickling her, she shrieked in protest, crying and laughing.

"Stop it!" she whimpered, kicking her legs trying to get out of his hold, laughing away.

"Never!" Raph roared laughing too.

"Oh… Please stop, I am going to pee myself," Sasha screamed, kicking hard, actually getting Raph in the plastron, the impact was so hard he flung back landing smaking to the ground hard onto his shell.

Silence took her, as she stared in horror, she didn't mean to hit him that hard, she didn't know she could, mortified, Sasha stared at him more, he didn't move he just laid there.

Getting to her feet quickly she rushed to him.

(Oh no, did I hurt him? Can I even really hurt him?)

Panicking, she reached him standing beside him, before she could say a thing, Raph sprung up wrapping his arms around her, as she fell forward.

In seconds Raph managed to pull her down, only to find himself on top of her as she stared at him, not scared, but very surprised.

(…)

Blushing, she looked into his golden rod eyes, vibrant and pure.

Raph just realizing what he has just done, in the mist of playing around Raph didn't realized what position he just got himself into, he went completely red.

Speechless they stared at each other, which felt like hours, then Raph did something unexpected, slowly he leaned forward placing his lips against hers.

Sasha's face turned red, as she felt everything inside her went off like fireworks, was this really happening, did Raph just kiss her, was he still kissing her!

(um um um um um…. Oh my god, Oh my god… ok get a hold of yourself… don't fall apart now, he is just kissing you… He is kissing me… oh my god, oh my god…)

Frantic Sasha was at a lost, she didn't know what to do then something deep inside her came up to the surface, as she stopped Raph from what he was doing, her eyes was full of tears, pushing him off of her.

Crying Sasha got to her feet, this was too soon, she wanted him, but, shaking her head, she couldn't hold back the things that strangled her, hung her up, not letting her go.

Not saying a word she ran, not turning around.

(I'm sorry…)

(Raph POV)

Raph sat there on the ground, stunned, what was he thinking, to make a move like that, now he has upset her.

(DAMN IT, I CAN BE SUCH AN IDOT…)

Scrambling to his feet, Raph had to catch up to her, tell her he was sorry, that he didn't mean it… well he did mean to kiss her, he got all caught up in the moment he just reacted before thinking.

Which wasn't abnormal for him, but still this wasn't one of those times he can act like an idiot, she was fragile and he could have broken her.

Shaking his head, he wanted to punch something, anything to put his frustration into, breathing deeply he tried every technique to calm himself down, to cage his anger, to make him think clearly.

Bull rushing into this would only make things worse.

Running down a path, he couldn't see her.

(Shit she is fast…)

Then suddenly he stopped, as he noticed something in one of the flowerbeds as Donnie voice rang in his head, "Don't forget about the Tiger Lilies."

There in the masses of flowers was one Tiger Lily, Donnie making sure Raph knew what they look like, showed him images drilling them into Raph's head what they look like and what they mean.

Lilies mean beauty and tiger lilies mean purity, but Donnie did mention they can symbolize 'troubled times can be overcome and peace can be found', though usually associated with tattoos, it can be thought the same when receiving one, and Donnie told him Sasha does see these flowers in this manner, which is the only thing that mattered.

Carefully navigating into the flowerbed, he reached it taking the flower in hand, he hoped this would help, if he can't find the words, or the ones he does use don't work, maybe this will get his point across.

(I really hope this works; I'm running out of options…)

(Sasha POV)

Upset, frustrated Sasha ran, she didn't care where she was going, she felt like a moron for doing that to Raph, what was she thinking.

Then the feelings, the doubt that locked around her heart, it was pushing her into the darkness of her own doubts and insecurity.

She didn't know what was with her, yet in the back of her mind, she knew, she knew if she was this broken, she shouldn't dare to be with him, she didn't deserve him.

Crying, she tripped over her own feet, wiping out onto the ground, lying there she stared at it, what was she to do?

(…)

Slowly getting up she sat on her knees, placing her palms into her lap, looking at the ground not moving, not saying a whisper, just staring.

What was she to do? The thoughts raced in her head, she could feel the weight of them pushing down onto her shell, she wanted to scream, she wanted to wake up in her bed, safe and sound.

She wanted this nightmare, this constant teasing to be over with, she wanted her body to be normal, she wanted to be a normal human again; she felt like a freak, she was wrong, everything in her was wrong.

Grinding her teeth, she couldn't hold it back, as she screamed out loud, louder than she did in the shower, as birds responded flocking away from their branches.

She screamed her frustrations out, but knew all too well they would come back, knew all to well they will never go away, always returning to her.

Tears covered her eyes, as they dripped onto her hands, closing her eyes, she stopped her scream, holding her breath as long as she could.

Then suddenly she felt something on her hand, slowly opening her eyes, there it was, an orange flower with black spots on it, a Tiger Lily, she only seen it in books, but recognized the smell anywhere.

Flashes of her past filled her head, of her mother, on the day she went to central park, the day her mother placed this flower in her hand, telling her its name as Sasha felt its petals and inhaled its aroma.

Her mother told her what it looked like and said it was beautiful as her, her miracle, her precious daughter.

Losing it, Sasha balled pressing the flower into her plastron tilting forward, letting all her tears out.

She could feel a set of arms wrap around her, giving into them, she let him pull her back into him as she continued to cry, digging her face into his arm, Raph stroked her head, not saying a word letting her cry.

"I'm so messed up…" Sasha started, "I'm nothing, I have nothing anymore, I wanted to make her proud of me, there were plans for me to go to college. I finally had a destination. All my life, nothing was constant other then my loneliness, there was nothing for me to look forward too. I was going to change all that… I had the opportunity to be something, to make her happy. Once in my life I was finally going to prove I am not useless, that because I was blind, didn't mean I couldn't be someone… then this happened… this…. I am back to square one… nothing is constant… I failed, I'm nothing…"

Sasha held onto Raph's arm harder as her failure, her fears, her past, her destroyed future, all her doubts, held onto her tightly choking the life out of her.

"You're wrong…" Raph broke through her depression, her dark cloud that hung over her head.

"You hear me, you're wrong! You do have a future, what I don't know, but does it matter? Do you think your mother only will be proud of you, if you went to college? Do you really think your mother would only be proud of you if you got some career? No!... I am no parent, but I do have a father, that taught me he was proud of who I became, not what I could be in society. Your kind, your smart, your creative, you care about people, you don't' judge others, you became a friend to a mutant and didn't care. You treated me no different than any other human. I was no monster to you, no demon that was going to hurt you, you trusted me! That's, who you are, I know without a shadow of a doubt, your mother would be proud of you! You're better than most people, you're exactly the same person you described your mother to be! So what you're a turtle, so what you can't live a human life!? You do have one constant thing Sasha, one thing that will never change regardless if your life, your world does. ME! I will never leave you; I will never give you up. You know why?" Raph tilted her head gently up towards him so he can have eye contact with her.

Her tears ran, she looked upon him, his words did ring true, but her doubt wouldn't let go of her, her misery wouldn't fuck off.

Biting his lower lip, his eyes blazed, "I LOVE YOU!"

Sasha body shuddered on those words, as she stared into his eyes, he was serious, there was no hesitation, no doubt in his voice, his eyes remain strong, supporting those words.

Her lips trembled, her heart raced, as more tears filled her eyes, suddenly she flung into his arms, wrapping them around his neck, burying her face into his neck, chirping sadly, letting everything in her out into the open.

This chirp she made was different then the one she did on the rock, she didn't stop them, she wanted to make them to express herself, she didn't have words, she felt confused, yet holding him helped, his words helped.

Then she heard a sound from him, an answer to her chirps, he chirped to her, the sound was comforting, soothing like he could feel her pain, he understood her fully.

Something about this, something about the sounds they made was on a level she never knew existed or thought there was such a thing.

Slowly she started to understand what Donnie was getting at, about certain sounds would make her experience thing differently then when she was human.

Letting go of him she leaned back to see his face, in shock Raph was crying, she has never seen him cry before or shed a tear.

Placing her hand onto his face, wiping away his tears, he smiled sweetly to her.

Smiling back, her hand trailed down towards his mouth feeling it, like the first times she felt his face, Raph pulled off his bandana, wrapping it around his neck, letting her see his face fully, letting her to feel it, is she wished to.

Taking that invite, she did, feeling the cheek bone, the eyebrows, his chin, then she braved it, leaning towards him, she felt her lips against his.

Noticing how they felt, how they tasted, how they made her feel, closing her eyes, she could smell him, his aroma, that sweet smell that made him, him.

Raph didn't move, letting her take her own steps, fighting the urge to just grab her and hold her tightly.

Ending her kiss she leaned back looking into his eyes, he was being very patience with her, he was being considerate, he was staring at her, and she could see what his eyes were telling her.

"Raph, I love you too," Sasha finally replied to his confession a second ago, she wanted to say it right away, but she needed to understand her feelings and sort them out.

Placing his hand on her cheek, he rubbed it with his thumb, "Thank you, Sasha, Thank you for trusting me."

Locking lips again, Raph, gently lowered her to the ground, hovering over her.

"Raph, I'm sorry about not opening up to you… I just… Now on I will not hold anything back, even if it's hard for me to say it, I will be open with you. I trust you, I know I still have things to figure out, but now I understand I'm not alone… Thank you Raph..." Sasha licked Raph on the cheek, not sure why she did it, but it felt kind of fun and an appropriate gesture.

Smiling widely Raph enjoyed it, purring, which made Sasha start to laugh, Raph smiled purring louder throwing in some chirps, making her fidget under him, knowing all too well what he was making her feel at the moment.

Then he jumped to his feet with a big grin, disappointed Sasha stared at him in disbelief, pouting, "I hate you," she snarled at him.

Grinning more, Raph chuckled, "I know, but I'm getting really hungry and our food is getting cold, then… Let's say I have a big surprise for you later, you just have to wait until after lunch," with that he started to walk away.

Lying on the ground Sasha sighed; trying to calm her hormones that Raph evilly triggered, then left her high and dry, mumbling to herself she got to her feet, eyeing Raph.

(Well, now, if he wants to play that game, then fine! He is going to regret that later.)

Sasha smiled devilishly; she was going to make him pay for this.

Catching up to Raph, Sasha grabbed his hand as he looked at her then kissed her on the cheek, smiling, for the first time Sasha felt happy, really happy.

Finally opening up to him, made her feel calm, secure, she felt that the heavy cloud that has been looming over her for some time, finally disappeared, never to return again.

As long as Raph was by her side, she was going to be fine.

Sometimes changes are a good thing, especially when you have a love one to help you, when you need it

FIN.