So I decided to start naming the chapter. Why? A whim. Really, that's basically it. It helps me keep track of where I am, too, but I only thought of that while I was already giving them titles. I've never done this before, and I'm actually finding it kinda fun. Maybe I'll do it more in the future. What do you guys think? ...do you even read these afore (afore may or may not be a word) and after notes? Usually when I ask, I get people saying yes, but I have to wonder sometimes. I mean, what am I supposed to think when no one says anything confirming it? Well, there's no much I can do if you choose not to read these.

But whatever, right? Read away.

"How was your birthday?"

"Huh?" I stare at Uta, unresponsive. I'd expected questions, sure, about Haise or Hanako, but not about my birthday. I admit, though, that I came not knowing what to expect. Last night I went back to the cafe to visit Touka, since she had obviously wanted to talk earlier that day, and that conversation had surprised me enough. Apparently, Haise really is Kaneki, and he and Touka used to be close. I certainly hadn't even considered amnesia to be the cause of his many names. And not only that, but he's half ghoul! Considering that, I shouldn't be surprised by Uta's question. "It...was fine, I guess. Except for the being caught by the doves thing."

"I see." Both of us stand in the middle of his shop, silence filling the air. The lighting tints both of us crimson, the dimness casting shadows thick across our bodies. I came like he asked, because he made it sound like he knew something, but does he?

"About Hanako-"

"I have heard news of her since the time you bought your mask," he interrupts me. "Only passively, but from that information I'm lead to believe she doesn't plan to see you again anytime soon."

My heart seems to sink and leap simultaneously, gladdened by news of her and saddened by his conclusion. Still, the excitement wins out and shows itself in my voice. "What did you hear?"

His eyes bore into me, but I stare hard back. After a moment, he says simply, "She joined a ghoul organization called the Aogiri Tree."

Fantastic. That barely tells me anything. "What is that?"

"Exactly what it sounds like. Aogiri is a powerful group the CCG often goes up against. They're an extremely influential gang within the world of the ghouls."

"Why'd she go and join a group like that?" All she's ever wanted to do is avoid doves!

"I would guess to distance herself from you. She seems to wish to cut all ties with human society."

You mean…she means to cut me off? "I can't let her do that!"

"I expected as much." All of a sudden, Uta leans in close, unblinking. Startled and suddenly nervous, I lean back a bit. The hair on the back of my neck stands on end, my heart pounding. I remember us doing something like this when I first came to his shop, but back then, there hadn't been anything other than an invasion of privacy that I'd been feeling. Now, though….now he looks at me as if he could easily devour me. When he speaks, his voice has sunk quiet and dark. "You said you would do whatever you had to for her. If you refuse to let her go, would you be willing to become a monster to keep her?"

I gulp. What….what is he saying? What is he talking about? A monster? Surely he doesn't mean become a ghoul. That isn't possible! Unable to comprehend the question, I hesitate before asking, "What do you mean?"

"Come." Before I can understand what's happening, he's grabbed me by the wrist and begun to drag me towards the back. The door shuts behind us to close us off from the public side of the shop, darkness descending.

What's going on? I thought I came prepared to hear anything, no matter how obscure, but what is he doing? What are we doing?

He releases my wrist and I'm left standing, abandoned in the darkness. I don't reach out, somehow afraid of what I might touch. Still, I can hear the pounding of my heartbeat in my ears that grows louder with every passing second I'm left alone.

I let out a startled yelp when something metal is forced into my hands. Before I can figure out what it is, light temporarily blinds me. I pry my eyes open, my vision adjusting. The first sight to meet my eyes is a cold, grey pistol in my grasp.

"If you want to get your friend back," Uta begins, my eyes snapping upwards to find him with his hands on a lightswitch, "you're going to have to enter her world. If you go into it without the will to kill, you won't last a week. Once you get the ghouls to accept you, it isn't them you'll have to fear. It's the humans."

"So you're giving me a gun," I laugh wryly. "What a gift. It's not like I can hit anything with it."

"For now it doesn't matter if you can aim. It matters if you can pull the trigger."

The gun suddenly weighs more than solid-iron dumbbells in my hand. "You're telling me to kill."

"Yes."

I lick my lips, mouth dry as I eye the weapon in my hand. Become a monster...become a murderer.

"If you can kill someone of your own species, I'll help you. I'll give you the connections and the situations to weave you into the community and regain your contact with Hanako, but only if you can use that to kill." I jump when he moves abruptly, yanking a shape out from under a clothed table.

The girl's frightened voice reaches my ears muffled by her gag, her large brown eyes meeting mine, wide. Her frame is tiny with her arms and legs bound, held close to her torso protectively.

"This is Chisa Kuitani," Uta introduces. "Shoot her."

My stomach twists. "I-"

"You can decide not to, but she will still die. She's my next meal, so if you don't shoot her, I'll kill her quickly to eat her. However, I will not help you with anything else."

My mind recalls Hanako's kill, the way blood had spurted from the body as she tore into it, the way the man had quickly stopped moving. It had been brutal, but it had been necessary. She had to eat him to live. But I don't have to kill this girl. Unlike Hanako, I can walk away. But if I do, I might lose her for good.

I shake my head furiously, distracted by my pulse thumping deafeningly in my ears. Slowly, I shift the gun into my left hand and lift it. I support it with my right hand when I realize my arm is shaking, steadying the aim. The barrel then sits inches from the young girl's forehead. How old is she? Clearly she's younger than me by quite a bit. Is she even thirteen yet? What sort of family does she have, if any? What could her mother be thinking, now that her daughter is missing?

The image of my own mom crying settles over me. The only time I ever saw her bawling was when Hanako and I stayed out late when we were younger, and we hadn't warned her beforehand. When we'd gotten home she'd wrapped us in her arms trembling, and we'd sworn always to tell her from then on since neither of us could stand seeing her like that. Could I take this child from her mother? My eyes burn, and somehow I feel like my face has begun to mirror the horror in Chisa.

But if I don't do this, I may never see Hanako again!

Uta watches me silently, waiting, like a demon awaiting a contract. His dangling ebony hair, his inky black and red eyes, the tattoos that warp around his skin as if slithering, all of it creates the illusion that I've gained the attention of the unholy Grim Reaper.

Freaked, I hastily avert my gaze back towards the cowering girl. Somehow Uta's cold gaze has scared me more than the prospect of her death. How could that be? Am I truly so heartless? Is he saying that if I want to keep Hanako, I have to give up my heart? But if I'm more terrified of him than of pulling this trigger, what heart do I even have to begin with?

"What if someone hears the gunshot?" The question slips from my lips without much thought, but as I say it I realize its importance. Sure, it's important that we not get caught if I'm to make any progress in finding Hanako, but more than that, it makes me realize that I've resolved.

"We aren't in a nice enough part of town for anyone to care," is all Uta says.

So that's it. I'm free to shoot. Nothing to stop me, no consequences to face except those given to me by my own mind, and my best friend to regain from killing her.

When I lock eyes with the girl, she wrenches uselessly against Uta and coils back away from me. She tries to scream despite her gag, and the noise echoes eerily in my ears. Her eyes clench shut and tears spill out, limbs quivering. I remind myself one last time that, unless I do this, I could very well never see Hanako again.

Just the twitch of my finger and I jolt, the gun flying into the air with the abrupt energy. From any sort of distance, I'm sure I would have missed, but there's no way I could have hit anywhere but her head the way the barrel had been nearly touching her.

My arm drops to my side, still clenching the gun, as I take in the sight before me. Although Uta holds up her form, her head lolls to one side limply like that of a doll's. The gun hadn't been a powerful one; the bullet didn't break through the other side of her skull. It certainly went in, however. Slightly right of the center of her forehead, a small hole has burrowed into her brain. The bone around it clearly deformed a bit under the skin when it took the impact, but other than that, there's barely any damage to be told of. Just a trickle of blood, seeping sluggishly like the white poison of a poinsettia when you absently decide to prick its petals.

My knees give out from under me. As I slip down to the floor, Uta casually begins to dine. It occurs to me as he does that her eyes are still fluttering. Her consciousness is just barely hanging on when he begins his meal, biting seductively into the base of her neck and peeling back her skin into his mouth.

I watch silently as the second ghoul dines in front of me, the metal of the gun growing sickeningly warm in my hand. A million and one thoughts race through my mind, but my brain gently brushes them aside in favor of silence. Only the most basic and easy thoughts are allowed to intrude. Like how blood is getting on Uta's clothes as he eats. It isn't much, and he's actually pretty clean about it when compared to Hanako, but it makes me wonder if he has extra clothes stashed around here. He can't run a shop for humans and ghouls alike with blood staining his shirt.

And I can't help but notice how elegantly he feeds. It's almost like watching a mother cat lick her kittens clean, only instead of cleaning off the grime, Uta is stripping away tissue and bone. Now that I think about it, Hanako was also mesmerizing to watch. Do all ghouls have that sort of aura when they eat? Why don't humans? I wonder if ghouls find something more to eating than humans do. That would explain why, when it comes to eating, ghouls are so beautiful to watch while humans resemble little but pigs with how ungratefully they chew. I wish I could look like that while eating. I probably look like any other human, though. My thoughts drift to food, to the mini octopus hotdogs that Mom packed in my lunch for school today.

Mom! I gasp aloud when her face flashes behind my eyes. What am I thinking? Even if I'm okay with putting myself down as a human, never her! No! I've always thought Mom was the prettiest woman I'd ever seen! Not only is she lovely to look at, but she's always working so hard, loving me so much, worrying….

And I just killed a person! If she found out, it's wreck her! For her to learn that her daughter that she's poured so much blood, sweat, and tears into raising right just shot a little girl! She'd cry! She'd definitely cry! She'd ask what she'd done wrong and wonder how she could be so useless to me! I've worked so hard for her, being a model student in grades and attitude so I could have a future where I'd be able to support her, and I just did the worst thing I could possibly do! I let her down! With this on my mind, how could I possibly go back to the path I was on? Going back to school? Finding the right college? Getting a good job? I just threw all of that away so I could join Hanako! Was...was it really worth it?

I wrap my arms around myself, crushing my torso as hard as I can. Worth it or not, it's done. Mom is dear, without a doubt, but so is Hanako. I would do the same if their positions were switched, wouldn't I? For the two of them, I'd do anything!

"Uta?" My voice comes out scratchy, despite my not having let out a single sob. He pauses in his meal to meet my gaze. The iciness from before is gone, the more gentle patience having returned to his eyes. "Why is it that you decided to help me?"

It might be an odd question after all of this, but it's an honest one. We've only met each other a few times, and Hanako didn't seem to know him all that well, either. It strikes me as strange that he'd go so far as to coerce me to kill for the sake of 'helping' me, when we're near strangers.

Using his thumb, he wipes away a few crimson droplets around his lip piercing. "You've piqued my interest, and as much as you'll do anything for your friend, I'll do anything to entertain myself."

Deep breath in...and let it out. Well. That happened. Is it sinking in? I understand if it takes you awhile to process the chapter that just went down. It took awhile for Kiyoko to comprehend it, too, and she's the one who fired the gun! Ah, my heart! It goes out to her! I'm one thing, though. How did you guys like it? This is a pretty pivotal point, so it'd really be helpful if I could hear some of your opinions here. Please don't hold anything back. I can handle it. I nervously anticipate what you all have to say.

Till then, Kisses from SnowyNeko! :3 MEOW!