I changed my mind and combined ch 4+5. This means there is only one left after this.
Tris POV
"Oh my fucking god!"
I keep staring at the picture, Ronnie glued to my side.
"Is he out of his god damned mind?!"
I nod my head in agreement with Ronnie's exclamation.
"Not only did he send you a revealing shower pic broadcasting every single tattoo, he also was clearly having some fun. I mean, you see where his hands are, right?"
"Yes, I can see the top of his dick, Ronnie."
"Maybe it was the blood-loss that made him stupid enough to send this to you," she muses.
"Or he thinks nobody knows what he looks like shirtless," I wager.
"Eric strips down after or during a good workout all the time. And he fucked his fair share of women in this faction."
"I know that but he might just assume that this is not someone he exposed himself to before," I remind her.
"Women talk, Tris. It doesn't even have to be one of his previous conquests, any tattoo artist will know. The nurses know most likely too. The two of us…"
"Look, I don't know any more than you do. Here, let me."
I grab the tablet and start typing.
"What were you thinking," Ronnie reads our loud. "He was thinking he should rub one out."
"Yes," I sigh.
"After looking at your booty," Ronnie continues. "Does he not know this is your ass or is he playing you? You two still routinely work out together, including fights, and I have seen your style, Tris. More often than not Eric has to grab your ass to keep you from killing him. I always thought your technique was awesome but a bit too uncaring for personal comfort."
"What the heck do you mean by that," I challenge. "There is nothing wrong with my style and I am getting Eric down every single time."
"Yes, because he gets distracted by your lovely legs sliding over his shoulders and your crotch rubbing against his face. He never moves fast enough to avoid the chokehold. Have you ever thought about why this seems to be such a fail safe method?"
I can feel heat pool in my cheeks, spreading out and covering my whole face and chest.
My tablet pings and Ronnie snatches it before I can lower my hands.
…
Eric
Your picture had my mind going to all sorts of places.
…
"I bet it was just one place, all the way down the gutter. He masturbated to your picture, there it is in black and white."
Ronnie stares me down.
"What," I ask.
"Well, what are you going to do?"
"I am going to find out if he knows it is me, then I will re-evaluate," I state.
…
Tris
Good places? Full of big balls and …
…
"Oh my god, he is going to kill you for even suggesting that," Ronnie shouts.
"Shhh," I hiss. "We are still at work."
"Yes, we are, he isn't. Why the fuck is he home already? He must have clocked out like an hour ago," Ronnie muses. "Oh look."
We both lean in to see his answer.
…
Eric
Well rounded globes only! I have enough balls for the two of us, trust me.
…
"That still doesn't tell me whether or not he knows it is me," I lament.
"But his balls are getting bigger, he is making a move on you," Ronnie assures.
"But do I want that?"
"Uh, I hate to tell you but you seem to have no issue with it other than on paper. You liked him enough to approach him first," Ronnie reminds me. "You even like him as he is, a bad mouthed, often unreasonable asshole."
"Fine," I sigh. "Let's get some answers."
…
Tris
Are you here for the perks?
…
"Subtlety is not your strength, maybe you two are evenly matched in that regard."
"Oh shut up, why should I beat around the bush. Eric only signed up because he was basically forced to do so with the promised perks easing the way."
"He really wants to delegate all the shitty aspects of being a leader but he has to see something in you or else he would have cut his losses. Eric is ruthless."
"He is," I agree just as his reply appears on my screen.
…
Eric
It was the reason I signed up, yes. I have had a moment to think about my choices since. I never expected to meet someone like you, especially not after being propositioned by a dozen women without as much as a 'hello'.
…
"Okay," I drawl, finding myself a bit at a loss.
"Okay," Ronnie parrots. "He is telling you he is more than intrigued. He put up a dick pic and he clearly did not do it to score pussy like all the other guys. He sounds put off by the outright offers and likes your banter. The question of the day is what you want to do, Tris. The choice is yours. You can end this now or keep going."
"You sound more excited than Jeanine when she introduced the program. What's up with that?"
"I am just happy the pressure will be off me if you and Eric have babies. Two leaders matching and marrying. Plus your kids are going to take the faction by storm."
Marriage and children… somehow I always saw this happening differently, more the traditional way. Meet, date, marry, have kids at one point.
…
Tris
Are you looking for the old ball and chain, or are you more playing the game?
…
"Straight to the point. Come on, let's head home, we can't stay here forever," Veronica urges and I grab my bag while holding onto the tablet.
We are just down the hall when Eric's reply comes through.
…
Eric
I never expected to meet someone like you.
…
Tris
So you have said. What I want to know is how you feel about the consent forms.
…
"Tighten those screws,' Ronnie laughs while holding the door to the stairwell open for me.
We both love the extra workout and make it back to our floor in no time thanks to us being in top shape. Back passages and all are really great when everyone and their mother calls the elevators and basically stalls them during rush hour.
…
Eric
Don't you think we should talk a bit more before we even mention those forms? I am not saying I am opposing them but this is a fucking big step. Maybe I need some more convincing?
…
"Do you want me to come in?"
Ronnie looks as torn as I feel.
"No, I will knock if I need help but I will keep you posted," I promise.
"Take care, Tris, and make him work for it."
With that Ronnie heads off to her own apartment while I enter mine.
…
Tris
Go ahead. Lead by example.
…
I quickly change and when I push some leftovers into the microwave I finally get a reply.
…
Eric
I never met a girl like you and it does things to me.
…
"That's it?!" I frown at my screen, willing it so show me some more. "Is his repetitive use of that phrase a cop out," I wonder.
…
Tris
I think I met plenty of men like you. What makes you stand out from all those that seem to be a dime a dozen around Dauntless. If you never met a girl like me, I fear for your future.
…
There is dead silence.
While I know I am pushing Eric, I really want to know what is going through his mind.
Sitting down with my dinner, I contemplate popping in to Veronica and asking for her opinion. Before I can do it though, a reply comes in.
…
Eric
I have met one or two similar girls. In fact, I work with them. If you were to ask them, I am pretty sure they would tell you to run the other way.
What makes me stand out is the fact that I don't give up. If I deem you worthy, I will chase you, catch you and make you mine.
…
Tris
Why haven't you yet?
…
Eric
Because I didn't know I was ready for this kind of relationship.
…
Tris
Then why did you sign up to the program? It makes you look like all the other horny guys who came her for an easy lay with some perks attached to possible repercussions.
…
Eric
Because I felt it my duty to Dauntless to sign up. I didn't expect to do any more than this.
…
Tris
And now?
…
Eric
Now I am trying to understand myself.
…
Tris
Any luck?
…
Eric
I am working on it but I can tell you that I don't want to let you go to find someone else.
…
Tris
Favourite colour
…
Eric
What?!
…
Tris
Favourite colour?
I like yellow.
…
Eric
I like grey. Why yellow?
…
Tris
Because it reminds me of sunshine. Sunny days are great for the mood. They give me a boost.
Why grey?
…
Such an odd colour choice but then his eyes are grey.
…
Eric
Things are neither black or white, they are grey and I appreciate the freedom it gives me.
…
Oooh, that is actually a good one.
…
Tris
Are you missing some colour in your life?
…
Eric
Apparently I am. Yellow sounds beautiful.
…
I pause for a moment, unsure whether or not there is a double meaning. Am I conceited for thinking my hair colour does qualify?
…
Tris
Maybe you should get out of the compound more?
…
Eric
Who says I don't?
…
I almost snort but I know he doesn't know I know who he is. For all intents and purposes he could be a fence guard and work outside most of the time.
…
Tris
Grey sounds more like the choice of someone stuck inside the compound but that is just my personal opinion.
…
Eric
Then your earlier words could be construed as someone equally stuck inside.
…
Tris
You wouldn't be wrong but I try to find a balance. You?
…
Eric
I am learning I have been missing out on things I didn't know I wanted or needed.
…
Tris
So you are getting to know yourself the same time I do. My work here is done.
…
Eric
Not by a long shot. Favourite food?
…
Tris
That depends on my mood. On a stressful day I am more than content with just a slice of Dauntless cake but I like to think I love a balanced diet. I don't care much for fish.
…
I hit send despite wondering if that last piece of information was too revealing.
…
Eric
I am a red meat kind of guy myself. Fish is…
…
Tris
A necessary addition to our food supply?
…
Eric
You either love it or hate it. There is no grey zone.
…
Tris
And you love grey.
…
Eric
I think I am leaning more towards yellow now.
…
Tris
Going to paint your walls?
…
Eric
No.
…
I almost laugh because I basically imagined hearing that word leave his lips. Harsh, voice even deeper with that growl mixed in. The one he uses when he is annoyed at even having to answer.
Well, let's see how he handles a partner with opposing opinions.
…
Tris
I have been thinking about it.
…
Eric
Really?
…
Tris
Yes. Not necessarily the walls but my bedroom ceiling.
…
Eric
And here I thought I was liking everything about you.
…
I feel myself smirk because he really is just himself online. Not that he has a reason to hide but I was still wondering if he may be presenting himself gentler, more easygoing than he actually is.
…
Tris
I haven't done it because I know it would be too much and I don't want to start hating yellow. Would you let me paint something yellow if we were together? If yes, what would it be?
…
There is silence and I use the break to clean up and get ready for bed.
…
Eric
The bedside lamps.
…
I stare at the screen, feeling my mouth go slack. Eric would let me paint his bedside lamps yellow. The great suggestion aside, this is a massive concession on his part. He wasn't joking about having changed his mind and becoming involved for all the right reasons.
…
Tris
Why the bedside lamps?
…
Eric
Because if you are not beside me I would fall asleep thinking of you and wake up smiling because of what you did.
…
Fuck! I never knew Eric had it in him and I really like what I am getting from him now. My conscience is nagging at the back of my mind, telling me it isn't fair that I know who I am talking to and manipulating the situation but I like getting to know this side of Eric. Experiencing his personal revelations while he has them.
…
Tris
Yellow lamps or my earlier picture, framed and enlarged, on the bedroom wall?
…
Eric
I know you don't want me to say both and I want both but for the sake of the question at hand I would choose the yellow lamps because it means you are in my life and I can look at the real deal any time I want.
…
Fuck!
…
Tris
Good answer.
…
Eric
What about you?
…
Tris
What about me? Yellow lamps or my own ass on the wall?
…
I know he didn't mean it but I really don't know what options he is presenting me with. Dick pick vs naked shower, just masturbated abs pic?
…
Eric
Would you want my guns or big balls?
…
Jesus. Do I want to look at his abs and pecs or do I want to look at his cock? Okay, he didn't offer the whole thing up, just his balls but they are attached to it so he would offer the whole package, right?
I know what his body feels like, it's sculpted marble and … aw, fuck it!
…
Tris
I would choose option number three and take the dick, the whole dick 😉 But, for the sake of answering your question properly, I am a bit torn. I haven't seen your balls, just read some hints. Your guns looked great and you sneaked your dick in too. So, for that reason I'll go with the guns because I saw you were able to empty the whole magazine which means your balls weren't that impressive anymore by that time and I am not losing out.
…
I hit send and wait. This was rather forward and I don't know where exactly we stand at this point in time.
…
Eric
Why did you sign up to the program?
…
Tris
Not for the purpose of being propositioned by 90% of my selection, that's for sure. Peer pressure and a sense of duty to my chosen faction, I suppose. You?
…
Eric
More or less the same. The peer pressure wouldn't have been a deciding factor but a mix of duty to my faction and wanting the perks made me sign up. And while wanting the perks makes me sounds like a dick, I, at least am taking this serious, which can't be said for 19/20 women on my list. They just wanted to hook up and maybe get an 'oopsie, here is my reward' out of it.
…
Tris
So you are looking for someone to have children with?
…
Eric
I was willing to throw my hat in the ring and see where the cards fall.
…
I read his reply twice, trying very hard not to misinterpret his words. Ask, Tris, I tell myself. You don't ask, you'll never know for sure.
…
Tris
And now?
…
Eric
Now I feel like reality is catching up to me. I won't lie but you asking about the consent forms brought home that this is a lifelong commitment.
…
Tris
I always thought I would meet someone on my own, date, get married and have kids when it suits my timeline.
…
Eric
The consent form is basically like a marriage contract. You are doing it just in a slightly different way. Put yourself out there online, get to know the person online, sign the consent forms aka marriage and work on the babies.
…
Why does he suddenly have to be the voice of reason? The insightful one when I feel the urge to walk over and knock on his door increase tenfold the longer we talk.
Ronnie mentioned the babies we would make, Dauntless to the core, ready to rule their faction like mommy and daddy… barefoot and pregnant…
…
Tris
It's still unnatural and not a normal progression. How does one know the other person fits in with your life even if you think you are getting to know them remotely? What if there there are physical attributes you can't live with? What if you don't work out in the bedroom? What if you can't stand the sight of each other? What if you have completely opposite views of everything, including the role of the wife?
…
Eric
Whoa, that's a lot of worries and I get you. All those things went through my mind earlier when I realised this is getting real. I think being in the same faction provides a base, some common ground.
…
Tris
Maybe. I shower at least once a day…
…
I feel like I am starting to sound unhinged. There are too many thoughts popping into my mind and knowing Eric, having heard him spew some bullshit, I am wondering what his real opinions are. Like, did he say things just to rile people up?
…
Eric
That's good to know. I do too. I even brush my teeth regularly and use deodorant.
…
I know you do but you don't know that I know. He smells good, even when we work out and up a sweat. There is one important question I need to ask, though, and while it might seem completely ridiculous, it could be a deal breaker. Well, it might be if he is stubborn about it.
…
Tris
What kind of deodorant?
…
Eric
Is that a trick question?
…
Good, he senses I am asking for a reason that he is not privy too. His answer will have an impact on something and he is trying to figure it out before giving me his answer.
…
Tris
No. A guy I dated used that nauseating spray. I felt light headed and short of breath every time I walked past the bathroom door after he used it. He didn't take me serious.
…
Eric
Personally can't stand that stuff either and use a cream. Never heard complaints about BO.
…
Yes!
I feel like fist pumping. Eric just moved to the very top spot, not that there is much of a competition at the moment but that answer has my pulse race.
One less hurdle for us, one less issue to compromise on.
It's silly how relieved I feel upon reading his answer.
Okay, Tris, keep it together.
…
Tris
Maybe they were just too kind?
…
Eric
In Dauntless? Fuck no, my co-workers would have told me the moment they got a sniff of something foul. No holding back on their side, I guarantee you.
Fruity or herbal shampoo?
…
So true. That's what I love about leadership. We are a team, all of us, and we don't have to hold back or hide.
And Eric is getting it, I think. We are getting down to pet peeves and put them out on the open.
…
Tris
Lightly herbal but nothing overpowering. Very discreet.
Body wash?
…
Eric
Unscented, couldn't find one that I liked. You?
…
Tris
The same.
…
Eric
Bonus points?
…
Fuck, yes, bonus points, Eric. If I didn't know who he was I would be more than tempted to sign on the dotted line. We match so much more than I thought we would and being with another leader takes a lot of pressure off. Forget about Ronnie and her wish to be given more time. This is… am I really going to choose Eric?
Yes. Yes, I am.
…
Tris
No.
…
Eric
What do you expect your life with children to be like?
…
Tris
In what regard? Work, education, free time activities?
…
Eric
All the above.
…
Tris
I love my job and don't want to give it up to mind my children 24/7. I want a hands on father for them but stepping back from my duties would be temporary only.
…
Eric
Temporary?
…
Let's hear your real opinion, Mr Coulter, and not the one meant for getting a reaction.
…
Tris
Yes, like taking a little break just before giving birth and taking some time off after. Getting my bearings, adjusting to life with a newborn, breastfeeding. Don't know when I would return to work but I would try to keep up to date and see how things play out. You can never predict any of that but I intend to return to work full-time.
…
Eric
And the child?
…
Tris
Daddy on duty, childcare. There are plenty of options and maybe there are some grandparents around as well.
…
Eric
Children were always an abstract concept but now I can see myself wanting to show them the world.
…
Fuck me sideways. He really is opening up.
…
Tris
Would you want to become a full-time dad?
…
Eric
I don't see myself giving up my job. There might be opportunities to take it easier with the perks offered for having children… I don't want to see them only when they are asleep.
…
"What are you doing to me, Eric?!"
…
Tris
Them?
…
Eric
I think being an only child is lonely. Would you want to stop after one?
…
Tris
I always saw myself having at least two but I know Dauntless needs more. The question is if more than one works out. Nobody knows it until they see how the first one goes. Minds can change, personal circumstances too.
…
Eric
True.
…
I heard the phrase of screaming ovaries before but only now do I really understand what it means.
If Eric wants to have babies with me I am in, one hundred percent.
…
Tris
We have gotten off topic.
…
Eric
Not really, I liked talking about all the things we talked about.
…
Tris
Any more questions for me?
…
Eric
How do you feel about those consent forms?
…
I freeze and look at my screen. Teasing Eric with them was fun but I get the feeling he is not teasing me at all.
Sign right now, my ovaries scream and I am oh, so tempted.
Is he imagining himself with our kids right now? Wondering how fast any of those shortlisted for junior leader can get their own forms signed and a baby on the way so we can take it easier and enjoy time with ours?
God, I am so fucked!
…
Tris
We just started talking.
…
Eric
And we talked about all the important things.
…
Tris
Don't you think you are too hasty?
…
Eric
Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
…
Tris
We would both know who is on the other end of this. I got your dick pic, your abs, your tattoos. You got my ass. Still not the full person.
…
Eric
Want me to convince you to sign the forms?
…
Yes, I want exactly that! I want you to be so head over heels for me that you don't even blink when you see it's me. I want to climb him for real and I want to see how that dick holds up in real life. It's probably the only part of his body I never touched before. I want permission to meet him and I want him to fuck me bare, leave his seed inside me time and time again until I am round with his child. I wouldn't put a limit on how many as long as he does not insist I stay home permanently.
…
Tris
Forms, like, plural?
…
Eric
I am trusting my gut.
…
I love your gut. It has great taste.
…
Tris
That said masturbate to a picture of my ass?
…
Eric
That wasn't my gut but the little dick attached to the big dick who had no qualms doing that on camera.
…
Uh, what? On camera, as in he filmed himself? He wouldn't, okay, he would but really?!
…
Tris
You filmed yourself?!
…
Eric
No! Programmed it to take shots every three seconds.
…
What a pity but I bet if you were to print out all those pictures and bound them you could do one of those old fashioned cartoons and I would be able to forever watch him masturbate. I want those pictures!
…
Tris
So a slide show of you masturbating?
…
Eric
Wanna see?
…
Yes! I can be over in less than ten seconds. I bite my lip and sit on my hands until I can stop the urge to head out the door.
…
Tris
Like a real preview of the goods?
…
I am only half joking and I don't know what I am supposed to do if he really sends me more. Maybe I should admit that I know who he is and who I am?
He'll find out when you sign those consent forms, a little voice inside my head reminds me.
If I signs those forms, not when, if, I grumble at myself, but I am not sure about things anymore. Eric has been beyond tempting.
…
Eric
Will you reciprocate?
…
Tris
Probably not.
…
Eric
Then let me convince you.
…
I don't need more convincing, I need more things than will stop me from pulling up those forms and signing them. This is insane, why am I acting like this? Has it been too long since I got laid?
…
Tris
Why don't you need more time to think about it? What made the difference?
…
I wait with bated breath for his answer.
…
Eric
You are up for a challenge when presented with one. You don't take bullshit and are good with offering challenges without them being as obvious as mine. I like your way of thinking and, as I said before, I have a gut feeling that I won't regret signing either form.
…
Be there reasonable one, Tris. Try to think this through properly. What if he hates you when he finds out it's you?
…
Tris
We could be horribly unsuited for each other. Clash all the time and make life hell for our children and the people around us.
…
Eric
I highly doubt that! Give me twenty-four hours to convince you and if you don't sign on the dotted line by this time tomorrow I am going to leave you alone unless you contact me again.
…
I bite my lip so I don't whimper but there is still a weird sound emanating from me while I feel heat pool in my stomach. My panties are getting wet too and I so want to give in. Why am I doing this to myself?
It's too soon. This is only day one and your reaction is unnatural, I tell myself but to no avail. I want Eric to convince me. Fuck, I am already convinced but holding out for both of our sakes.
…
Tris
Cocky.
…
Eric
Dauntless.
…
Tris
Prove it.
…
Eric
As you wish. Challenge accepted.
…
I stare at the screen but nothing happens and I decide to just go ahead and move to bed.
My mind is in upheaval. What was I thinking? What am I still thinking for not calling this off?
You want Eric to make a good point, you want to accept the offer of someone who is willing to meet you halfway. Someone suited for your life!
My inner voice won't shut up and I am about to doze off when my tablet alerts me to a new message. Cursing the fact I enabled the setting, I quickly change it before hesitating over the program.
Eric sent me another message. Well, not a written message but an attachment. With trembling fingers I click on the video link.