Reminder, I own nothing about Dragon Age Origins, it all belongs to BioWare. And special thanks to Mr. Gaider for inspiring me as well with his books based on same. I hope you enjoy Chapter 2.
Thank you all for your support and reviews, it has made helped to make writing such a joy.
Blessings!
Kai woke slowly, surfacing to consciousness like a swimmer rising from underwater. Her eyelids fluttered open to a darkened room she barely remembered being placed in. Her arm felt stiff, but it was mended, as were her other broken bones. Wynne's work despite the venom she'd thrown at her, she could sense the older mage's magic. Each mage's magic held its own unique flavor, after all their time on the road, Kai had learned Wynne's, as she had been healed enough by her.
Her head hurt, and her eyes felt swollen and gritty, had someone poured a bucket of sand in each one while she lay helpless? She felt the tug of bandages and the itch of wounds healing with poultices, another familiarity after so much fighting, and Wynne's work as well, no doubt. "It should drink a lot of water." The resonant voice of the golem Shale caused Kai to jump. For something – no someone – so large, Shale could be very quiet.
Suddenly, the dark room was lit with a pulsing neon green glow as Shale brightened the crystals embedded in her stone skin, interesting, Kai had no idea she could do that. Of course the pulsing green glow didn't help her headache, as it caused the room's shadows to deepen and recede with each pulse. "Sent to watch over me I see," Kai's voice was hoarse, and it hurt to talk, Andraste's flaming sword, had someone poured sand down her throat too. "Here to make sure I don't have access to sharp objects or high windows?" Kai attempted to joke with Shale, but even to her own ears it sounded hollow.
"Well, it was quite distraught." Unable to get jokes at the best of times, Shale had apparently decided she was probably serious. Only Kai or one of their other long time traveling companions might have caught the hidden worry in Shale's voice.
"'Was distraught' probably isn't the proper term, more like 'I am,' Shale. But thank you."
Shale cocked her head at Kai, well, at least it was the golem equivalent of a head tilt. "It should drink a lot of water. It is dehydrated, since squishy things cannot be made to drink when they are unconscious." Shale stared pointedly at Kai, "It will also need to eat if it is not to perish." Though anyone else would think from the golem's tone that having her perish would not be all that bad, Kai knew better.
"Don't bother, I am not hungry," in fact, Kai wondered if she would ever be hungry again. She felt numb and cold inside, but she knew that underneath lay a surge of grief, despair, and anger so great that if she gave in to it, she might not be able to stop. Maybe she should have Oghren teach her how to be a berserker after all. At least no one would have to kick her in, well, sensitive areas like that one dwarf he told her about. Kai began to swing her legs over the side of the bed, experimenting gingerly with her newly healed arm. In truth other than a headache from dehydration, there was no pain anywhere.
There was, however, another sensation, a hole it seemed, where her heart should be. No, not a hole, Kai corrected herself, a stone heart replaced the one that held Alistair. Kai snorted as she choked on a laugh that threatened to become a sob. Here she was with a golem whose heart was made of stone, maybe they should start a group, 'The Heart of Stone Club'; happy people need not apply.
Alistair would laugh at that, would have laughed at that. Andraste's knickers, how long would it take her to stop expecting him to walk through a door any minute? That overwhelming grief began to surface again. It took everything Kai had left in her to buckle it down.
Concentrating on getting her newly healed body out of bed was a great distraction. Swinging her legs over the side of the bed and standing were two very different things. When she attempted to stand, the room suddenly tilted and spun. She would have reached out and caught herself on the bedpost, but Shale reached out and steadied her first. "It needs to eat," The golem was positively growling at her this time.
"Why this sudden urge to have me eat?" Kai asked, amused. Shale had never seen fit to nag her before, as the golem found 'squishy beings' bodily functions a weakness one did not discuss.
"Because it has been unconscious for six days," Shale walked over to the fireplace, her steps causing the floor to vibrate with every step, using the lightning crystals in embedded in her forearms, Shale lit the wood set there. Maker's Breath, six days, Kai could scarcely believe it, wouldn't have believed it, but the golem was not one to exaggerate or joke.
"Six days, did I miss Alistair's funeral?" Kai couldn't decide if that would be a good thing or a bad thing.
"No, the elder mage magicked the body to keep it from corrupting as squishy things do." Wynne again, Kai had seen the mage do something similar to their food as they traveled.
"Great, so now I'm a nug steak?" Kai heard Alistair's laughing voice near her ear as if he were standing right there. Kai looked around the almost empty room, wishful thinking, Kai, get a hold of yourself. The sound of his voice had stirred up such longing and sorrow she had to bite her lower lip and clench and unclench her hands to gain control again.
Shale's voice came back into focus still speaking as the golem heard nothing. "Then, the body was packed – along with the Queen and all of us – and taken to Highever. That is what it wanted, isn't it?" Kai took a stunned look around the room and realized they'd put her in her parents' room. Arl Howe hadn't apparently had the time to rearrange the portions of Highever he hadn't burned, what with all the arlships and the teyrnship and the dirty work for Loghain. Oh, and the fact that he was dead after she ran the sodding bastard through with the Cousland family sword.
Seeing her parents' things still in their familiar places caused a different grief and rage to vie for her attention. This was a grief that she never had the time to properly give herself to, what with the Joining and the fall of Ostagar and the whole Blight thing. Kai stared at the floor and watched as the rug became all misty, Shale still had her back to Kai and didn't notice her distress, which is just as well, what kind of comfort could one get from a figure of stone who had given up being squishy to become a war machine?
"I shall let the others know it is awake and see that it gets food." With that Shale turned and moved towards the door, causing the floor to vibrate once again. "Perhaps it should dress itself?" And then the golem shut the door. Kai would be surprised if there wasn't an implied threat about getting clothed. Shale would, without a doubt, have no trouble throwing her into clothes if the golem had a mind to.
Kai took tentative steps away from the bed, testing her legs for balance. It became apparent that balance wasn't really the problem, but that her legs wanted to tremble. She made her way to a table nearby, set with a pitcher and cup, she hadn't realized how thirsty she was until the first sip cooled her parched throat. Despite her desire to gulp great quantities of it, she sensibly resisted the temptation to do so, too much too soon, and it would all just come back up after such long time with an empty stomach. She had learned that the hard way after a lengthy healing session back when they were fighting darkspawn.
Shale said something about dressing, and Kai figured that might be a prudent course of action-for more than one reason-since the others Shale no doubt meant to tell would include Arl Eamon, Ban Teagan, or even Queen Anora. And Maker only knew what other nobles and sycophants who would want to see the 'Hero of Ferelden' were here as well, Kai gave an unladylike snort. She wasn't sure if she would laugh, cry, or stab with her dagger the first person who called her that.
The only one of her companions she worried about seeing her in her small clothes was Zevran, and it wasn't that Zev hadn't seen her in her small clothes. Camping in the woods didn't leave a lot of privacy unless one wanted to try dressing while kneeling in a tent. No, it was that Zev could turn something as harmless as buying a loaf of bread into a sexual innuendo, and that he had always made his interest in her known didn't help. But she'd always had Alistair to act as a shield against Zev's come-ons. Now, she wasn't sure she was strong enough to resist, especially since she knew she was going to long for a warm body next to hers at night. She couldn't do that to Alistair's memory, or to Zev for that matter. It would be unfair, especially to Zev.
"Unfair to Zev, bloody hell, woman, you better keep your daggers under your pillow, who knows what that slick Antivan has planned now that I am out of the way!" Alistair's voice sounded in her ear again, and she found herself reflexively looking in the room.
Then, another frightening thought caused Kai to groan inwardly, Leliana, sweet Leli, the shoe obsessed bard, and Lady Isolde, Eamon's fluffy bit of a wife, would no doubt conspire together to dress her according to her 'station.' She really didn't think she could deal with that.
"What, you don't fancy layers of toile, tons of ribbons, and looking like a meringue?" Kai heard Alistair's voice again as if he were standing right beside her. She spun around fully expecting to see him standing there grinning at her. Okay, she thought, I really do need to eat, can auditory hallucinations be caused by a lack of food?
Kai looked at the pile of clothes folded neatly next to the pitcher, which she hadn't noticed in her quest to slake her thirst. She started to take up what looked to be a simple tunic-type shirt, thank The Maker, when she saw the red rose laid gently on top of the shirt.
Alistair's rose, the rose she later learned had been growing on a dead rose bush in the Chantry yard in Lothering. The rose that decided Leliana to join them as it was a sign from The Maker for her to do so. A rose that never withered or bruised or seemed to take damage, its perfume remained as well.
She buried her nose in it now, as she had many, many times before. It transported her to that night in camp when Alistair had given it to her.
"Here, look at this. Do you know what this is?" Alistair asked as he handed her the crimson bloom.
"Is this a trick question?" she quipped, a smile dancing at the corners of her lips.
"Yes, absolutely, I am trying to trick you. Is it working? I just about had you didn't, I?", his grin mirrored her own.
Then his smile faded, and he looked sad for a moment. "I picked it in Lothering. I remember thinking, how could something so beautiful exist in a place with so much despair and ugliness?" He paused for a moment. "I probably should have left it alone, but I couldn't. The darkspawn would come, and their taint would just destroy it, so I've had it ever since." Alistair shuffled from foot to foot. "I thought that I might give it to you, actually."
Kai watched as a flush crept up his cheeks, and he looked as if he were afraid she was going to laugh at him, so he hurried on. "In a lot of ways, I think the same thing when I look at you." This statement caused him to blush even more.
Kai had glanced down at the rose and then at this man, who did not know how good a man he was. "That is a sweet thought, and a wonderful compliment." Kai felt a blush of her own creeping up her neck.
"I'm glad you like it. I was just thinking, here I am doing all this complaining and you haven't exactly been having a good time of it yourself. You've had none of the good experiences of being a Gray Warden since your Joining, not a word of thanks or congratulations. It has all been death and fighting and tragedy." His expression was one of hopefulness as if he desired her approval, but expected to get kicked instead.
Kai inwardly fumed at Arl Eamon for being so weak that he allowed his Orlesian fluff of a pretty young wife to make a little boy's life hell, and then insist he be given into what amounted to slavery by sending him to the Chantry. All because his feather-headed spouse was jealous and thought he was Eamon's bastard, not King Maric's. Some of her dire thoughts for the Lady Isolde must have shown on her face because Alistair got more nervous and almost stopped. Kai gave him a brilliant smile and put a comforting hand on his arm, so he continued.
"I thought that maybe I should say something, tell you what a rare and wonderful thing you are amidst all this darkness." Alistair pinched his fingers together and blushed even harder, if that were possible. Kai felt her heart sort of do a dance and tip over in her chest, and she realized in a blink that she was falling in love with this kind and wonderful man. She looked into his amber brown eyes and at his hopeful expression, and knew she could not help herself.
Suddenly, she found her own voice choked up, and it was hard to speak. "I feel the same way about you," she managed, even though she feared that after telling him her sudden feelings, he would reject her. She thought, this must be how Alistair feels, wanting so badly the approval of another.
He had smiled that lopsided grin at her and said, "I am glad you like it. Now if we could move on past this awkward, embarrassing stage and get right to the steamy bits, I would appreciate it."
She countered his humor with her own. "Okay, off with the armor then!" Kai's smile widened as his already pink face turned scarlet, he laughed nervously.
"Bluff called! Damn, she saw right through me." He had shuffled his feet some more while Kai resisted the urge to laugh at the both of them. "I'll be standing over here," he gestured behind him to camp, "until the blushing stops, just to be safe. You know how it is."
Her internal reflection was broken by the sound of someone opening the door to the bedroom, "Thunder humper!" Kai cursed under her breath as she tried to quickly grab the robe that was at the foot of the bed. Daydreaming instead of dressing, serves you right if it turns out to be Leli or Lady Isolde with satin and silk, she chastised herself. She barely had time to register that the robe she was putting on had been her mother's before a male hand holding a tray appeared around the edge of the door.
Well, not Leliana or Isolde, Ban Teagan or Eamon then. "Blast it!" Kai huffed as she tried to tie up the robe. As she fumbled with the ribbons, the hurrying only making it slower and harder, she heard a well-loved voice. "Mother would be appalled at your language if she could hear you now, little sister."