You guys are the best! I worked extra diligently to get you the promised chapters. And, as you might image, I got a little carried away and one chapter quickly turned into three. And, I am posting all three tonight! I hope you enjoy them.
Upon reaching her destination, the blonde woman places the car in park, directly across the street. She frantically removes her seatbelt, opens the door, and bolts from the vehicle toward the black Mercedes that has just pulled up behind her. "Regina," she shouts. "I'm so stupid."
At that same moment, the occupant of the other car is on her feet, arms outstretched to receive the panicked woman. "You're not stupid."
The younger woman buries her face in Regina's neck and proceeds to cry audibly. "I shouldn't have brought it up." Though her words are muffled, they are still distinguishable. "It's none of my business, what happened."
The queen inhales a deep breath, mentally preparing herself for the challenge of repairing the damage she has regretfully caused. "Emma…you are my life. I don't need to keep secrets from you."
Straightening up to meet the older woman's eyes, Emma informs, "Regina, you don't have to-"
"I want to," the queen interrupts. She goes on to explain, "It's just a part of my life that I've tried to forget." The younger woman wraps her arms securely around Regina's shoulders and buries her face once again. "I'm sorry I snapped at you," Regina whispers.
The younger woman surrenders to the fact that the hurt of the previous conversation will continue to play in her mind until she is ready to let it go. "It's okay." She uses her go-to response.
"Honey, look at me." Guilt is not only something that the queen is unaccustomed too, she absolutely loathes the feeling. She is determined to reverse time. "I shouldn't have snapped at you," she carefully articulates, emphasizing 'shouldn't.' The younger woman falls apart. She concedes the fact that her deepest fear was almost manifested less than five minutes ago. Even without uttering a single word, the older woman recognizes Emma's distress. The blonde woman noticeably begins to tremble. "Emma, I'm a jerk," the regal woman cries, simultaneously causing the younger woman to cry harder. The demons of her past maintain their merciless hold. Emma cannot tell whether she is relieved that Regina understands her distress or fearful that the older woman might one day betray her trust and use her vulnerability against her. "Emma, I'm sorry." And, that does it. In an instant, all her fears are calmed and the demons are chased away.
Struggling to get a grip on her own emotions, Emma voices the one thing she knows to be true. "I thought I ruined everything," she manages in between short, shallow breaths.
"What?!" The queen is practically beside herself with worry. This amazing, resilient woman has the purest, most fragile heart she has ever encountered.
"I shouldn't have said anything," Emma reiterates.
The queen accepts responsibility for caring for and protecting this remarkable woman's heart. "It's okay." She only hopes her words are reassuring. But, she soon realizes that her lover is far from okay. Even though she is uncertain as to whether she is ready to hear the answer, Regina urges Emma to bring her inner struggle to the surface. "Why are you so upset?"
The younger woman confesses, "I was afraid you didn't love me anymore." If she is being honest with herself, this is a very real fear for her.
That admission touches a nerve deep inside the normally composed woman. "Listen to me." She cradles the younger woman's face before continuing. "There is nothing that you could do to make me stop loving you. Nothing, Emma! We had an argument. That doesn't mean we don't love each other. All couples argue." Evidently she is getting through to the younger woman. "You remember how we used to fight," Regina reminds.
To both of their relief, Emma involuntarily starts to giggle when she recalls their previous quarrels; most of which seem so silly now.
The queen relishes the most wonderful sound her ears have ever heard and instantly brightens. It's impossible to feel anything other than joy in this moment. "Emma, I love you."
"I love you too."
When the younger woman straightens up again, the queen gently wipes tears from Emma's face with the pads of her thumbs. The older woman gives herself permission to be vulnerable, though it takes her some time to put her feelings into words. "I guess, I…never expected," she slowly begins. But, she decides that there is a better way to start. "I never thought about having to explain that scar to you…because…I didn't think I'd ever see you again."
Maybe Regina is different. She must be. The younger woman makes a conscious effort to believe that there is no way Regina would ever betray her trust. She curls back into her previous position, nestled safely in her lover's arms. The younger woman recognizes, in this moment, that because of past harms inflicted by others, accepting that Regina's love is unconditional will be an ongoing struggle. For the moment, she chooses to have faith in this amazing woman.
"Can I ask you one question and then I promise I will drop the whole thing?"
"Yes," Regina calmly responds.
"When?"
There is no need for elaboration. The queen understands exactly what the question means. "Shortly after you left," Regina answers numbly.
"Are you okay?"
This amazing woman continues to astound her. Even in the midst of her own emotional breakdown, Emma is more concerned with the well-being of others. "I'm okay," the older woman replies though sniffles. "Are you okay?"
Please don't hate me for doubting you, is what the younger woman wants to say. Instead, she decides to vocalize a simple request. "Can you just hold me for a minute?"
Fortunately for Emma, Regina understands what remains unspoken between them. "I've got you." Subconsciously she begins to rock the younger woman in her arms. "I want you to understand that nothing is your fault," she calmly whispers. Emma responds with a barely detectable nod of understanding. Hugging the younger woman tightly, Regina affirms, "This is the woman I love and I promise to keep her safe for the rest of my life."
She chooses to have faith. "I love you, Regina," she whispers and welcomes the serenity washing over her.
"Someone's watching us." The older woman has just spotted a tiny face peaking at her from behind a glass door.
The blonde woman turns and immediately spots the adorable child. Leaning her head against the older woman's shoulder, Emma vocalizes her gratitude. "Thank you for my little girl."
The queen is entirely unprepared for this. She has to fight the tears threatening to spill from her eyes. She places a kiss on top of the younger woman's head and thankfully thinks of the appropriate response to the most beautiful words that have ever been spoken. "Thank you for my children."
At that moment, an elderly woman and a bouncing three-year-old exit the house hand-in-hand. "There they are," Sylvia announces, pointing toward the waving couple.
"Mommies!" Charlie is practically bubbling over with excitement.
Regina fears that her daughter might break away from Sylvia's grip and try to cross the street. Even though the street has only occasional traffic, the queen is not taking any chances with her child's safety. "Stay right there sweetie, and hold Grandma's hand." Luckily, the little girl listens to her mother just as a mini-van is rounding the corner. Once the two mothers have entered the yard, Regina crouches down to her daughter's level and effortlessly lifts the excited child into her arms. "There's my girl!"
"Mommy," the child cheers and secures her arms firmly around her mother's neck.
Despite the fact that the brunette woman is currently being choke, the joy she feels having her little girl safely in her arms overrides any discomfort. "Are you feeling better, sweetheart?"
"Yes."
The blonde woman sneaks up behind the pair and kisses the giggling child in her lover's arms, attempting to persuade Charlie to release her death-grip on the brunette woman. "Were you a good girl for Grandma?"
"She was a very good girl. She had a bath last night and we watched Julia Child together." Sylvia interjects, happily.
"Bon Appétit," the little girl demonstrates confidently.
"You're teaching my daughter French?"
"Trés Bien! That's my good girl," Regina encourages and beams at her daughter in approval.
The younger woman is shocked and, admittedly, a little turned on. She had never before heard her lover speak any language other than English. And, if she is being honest, she would prefer to hear more French in the future, or any other Romantic language for that matter.
When the older woman catches Emma staring at her awkwardly, this prompts her to speak. "What?" "I know some French," she casually informs.
"Emma," Sylvia greets and wraps the young woman in a welcoming embrace.
"I'm okay. I'm finally free," Emma assures.
The elderly woman kisses Emma's cheek before releasing her and directing her attention toward Regina. "Thank you for bringing her back to me safe."
The queen is stunned by the warmth that this practical stranger shows her. Normally, she would be suspicious of people she had just met. But, the way this woman is with two of the three most important people in the world to her, Regina is able to relax and accept the kindness this woman so freely expresses. "I um…I want to thank you, for taking such good care of Charlie."
"Aw…well, I loved spending time with my Charlie." The little girl wraps her arms firmly around her mother's neck, without strangling her this time, as Sylvia guides the family inside the house.
Upon reaching the threshold Regina sets the child on the carpet.
"Have you had lunch yet?"
"Actually, we're meeting our son for lunch, in the city," Regina matter-of-factly states, as she watches her child sprint down the hallway toward her room.
Sylvia quickly directs her attention toward the mortified blonde. "You have a son?!"
It's Regina's turn to send Emma a questioning look. "You didn't tell her?"
The younger woman feels all eyes on her, she is on the spot; she's not getting out of this without an explanation. Preparing herself for the long account, she inhales deeply. However, she temporarily forgets how to structure a sentence. "Um," she stalls. "No." There. That should suffice.
Accustomed to being a monarch, Regina assumes responsibility for delivering a substantial explanation. "Yes, we have a son."
"How old is he?"
"Seventeen." Naturally, talking about her son brings a smile to the brunette woman's face. "He's a freshman at NYU. His name is Henry."
Sylvia, once again, sends a concerned gaze toward the younger woman. Obviously, she needs to hear the details from Emma. "You," she begins to think out loud, but stops herself, realizing that Emma should be the one to explain the circumstances surrounding her son's birth. So, she poses a question instead. "Your son is seventeen?" When Emma responds with only a pleading look, Sylvia encourages, "Please, come, sit down." She gestures toward the living room.
Emma resigns to the fact that the woman who has shown her tremendous kindness and has been a second mother to her deserves an explanation. She chooses to sit in the love seat, directly across from Sylvia, and calmly begins, "I got pregnant when I was Henry's age." The younger woman notices a gentle hand resting on top of hers, in a gesture of support. "I was alone and scared. I knew I wouldn't be able to give my son the life he deserved. So, I put him up for adoption."
Fluidly, Regina picks up at the point where she enters the story. She softly begins, "That's when this beautiful baby boy came into my life." The younger woman laces her fingers with Regina's. "I adopted Henry."
"You were very young then. You can't be much older than Emma."
The queen knows all too well that anything she says will be a lie. However, she recognizes that she can modify the truth and simply not mention the curse. "I had done pretty well for myself early in adulthood, but I always felt that there was something missing." The queen feels Emma lightly squeeze her hand in understanding. She confidently continues, "Being unable to have children of my own, I decided to adopt. It was the best decision I ever made, because it led me to my son…and this amazing woman."
Regina's words provide Emma the courage she needs to complete the story. "Ten years after I put him up for adoption, Henry found me. And, he brought me home." She turns to look at Regina. Locking eyes, the two women are overcome with gratitude for home they found with each other.
"I had no idea."
They suddenly remember that they are not alone. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you about Henry. When Regina and I split…he took it really hard…and I…" She begins to break. Unsure of whether she'll be able to finish her story, the young woman proceeds. "When I left…Henry stayed behind." She cannot stop the torrent of tears. Mercifully, she feels Regina's arm around her and calms slightly.
"You haven't seen him since you left?"
"No. I thought it would be best for everyone if they never saw me again." The older woman leans her forehead against Emma's face. It hurts her to hear this woman say such self-defeating things.
"But, you're going to see him today. Right?" Sylvia hopes that her words are encouraging, she hates seeing her Emma this upset.
"Yes." The young woman nods. "Henry was right to stay with Regina." It all comes back to her. She is reliving that awful day, the day she decided to leave Storybrooke. "I would never forgive myself if I had taken both of her children away." The young woman is drowning in sorrow. But, she desprately clings to the older woman who holds her in a forgiving embrace.
As the younger woman continues to wail, Regina attempts to counter the sobs. She understands all too well the guilt that is currently eating Emma alive, for she had years of experience blaming herself for Emma's departure. "Shhhh…sweetheart…it's alright." She is determined to carry the broken woman through this storm.
"I'm sorry, Regina," Emma desperately pleads
"Shhhh..." Regina begins to rock the woman in her arms. "It's okay. We're okay," she repeats, until the younger woman calms and the wailing subsides. Without conscious thought, Emma rests her head in the Regina's lap. She is exhausted.
"Is she okay?"
"She's okay." Regina takes this moment to swiftly wipe away her own tears with one hand as she keeps the other on Emma's bicep. She wouldn't dare deprive the younger woman of security at this time. "She's just tired," Regina explains. She lovingly pets the weeping woman's flushed face and lightly sweeps sweat soaked blonde hairs away from Emma's tightly shut eyes in the process.
"I didn't mean to upset her," the startled woman explains.
Regina continues to gaze upon the blonde in grateful adoration and continues to gently pet her face. "You didn't. She's very hard on herself." The younger woman silently responds by hugging Regina's knees.
"Mommy?" The huddled women are startled to discover a scared child standing behind them.
"Charlie." The queen is mortified. The pain of adulthood is something she always wanted to shield her daughter against.
Upon hearing her little girl's voice, Emma is immediately restored. She had become an expert, for she has had a great deal of practice, at pulling herself together in the blink of an eye, for her child's sake. She rises from her reclined position, swiftly wipes away her tears, and instantly brightens. "Hi, baby girl!"
But Charlie, having seen too much already, is on the verge of a meltdown of her own. She is a very sensitive child. "You're crying."
The pained expression on her daughter's face rips straight through the queen. "Oh, sweetie."
Inching closer to her blonde mother, the little girl inquires, "Are you hurt?"
"I'm okay, kid." The younger woman smiles and tries to reassure her frightened child. The brunette woman only gazes at the younger woman in appreciation as she watches the interaction. "What do you have there?" Emma inquires in regard to a piece of newsprint in her daughter's grasp, forcing enthusiasm.
"I drew a picture."
Emma beams at the child, gratefully welcoming the distraction. Wrapping a trembling arm around her tiny girl, Emma holds her close as she examines the picture in her hand. "Is that our family?"
"Mm-Hm." The little girl is suddenly shy.
"Is that me?" She is referencing the only figure on the page with, practically florescent, yellow hair.
The little girl nods in response.
"Where is Henry?" Regina feels the need to point out this oversight, because this is, after all, their family. She encourages, "I think your brother should be in the picture, don't you?"
"Are you excited to see Henry, today?" Interacting with her daughter always makes her genuinely happy.
"Mm-hm." The little girl smiles and her blonde mother kisses her cheek, effecting a tiny giggle.
Just then, Regina becomes aware of a faint squeaking sound. "What is that?"
"Uh-oh, someone wants breakfast," Sylvia announces, rising and entering the adjoining room in response the grey squirrel on the deck, just off of the kitchen. The rodent had been scratching on the sliding-glass door in efforts to announce its arrival to the home's inhabitants.
Another welcomed distraction. "You're still feeding them?"
"I sure am." Obviously, Sylvia also welcomes this distraction. "They come here every day."
An excited three-year-old quickly follows her grandmother into the kitchen. "Can I feed the squirrel, Grandma?"
"Sure, you can," the elderly woman responds, automatically.
"Oh, no." The queen puts a damper on the excitement.
Admittedly confused by her fiancé's protest, Emma calmly states, "Regina, it's fine."
"Absolutely not," the queen argues. "They're vermin," she adds with a hint of disgust in her voice.
"She'll be okay. I'll watch her." Sylvia tries to sound reassuring.
Following Sylvia's lead, Emma elaborates, "You don't have to worry. These squirrels are very tame."
The regal woman cannot tell if it is Emma's recent breakdown, or the argument they had on the ride over, or the fear of losing her family, or everything combined that suddenly rises to the surface, resulting in a sudden outburst. "I said, no!" She didn't mean to raise her voice, especially not after what happened.
Thankfully, the younger woman was not on the receiving end of Regina's aggression. Actually, there wasn't a target. Consequently, an innocent bystander suffers the effects of her mother's sudden explosion.
The queen feels all of the oxygen drained from her lungs in an instant when she catches sight of her precious angel's quivering chin.
"Regina."
The older woman can hear the disappointment in her lover's tone. She immediately crouches down to her daughter's level, attempting to comfort the very upset child. "Oh, honey. I'm not mad."
Crouching next to the older woman, Emma verifies, "That's right, Charlie. Your mommy's not mad."
"I didn't mean to yell, sweetheart." Regina places a gentle hand on Charlie's tiny arm, to which the child is unresponsive.
"Hey, kid. It's alright. Mommy's not mad."
"Mommy." The little girl reaches for her blonde mother.
Instantly, Emma scoops Charlie into her arms and begins to soothe, "Okay, baby girl. I've gotcha, kiddo. It's okay."
Emma turns just in time to see Regina make a quick escape. She sends Sylvia a pleading look.
"I'll talk to her," the elderly woman responds to Emma's silent request and follows the sound of Regina's sobs down the hall.