This chapter actually took me by surprise, it practically wrote itself. It was entirely unplanned, but I am happy with the result. I hope you like it :)
"Are you alright?" The elderly woman slowly enters the room that used to belong to Emma, when she spots the brunette woman situated on the edge of the full sized bed, doubled over, with her face hidden in her hands.
The devastated woman slowly lifts her head up and, with glassy eyes, articulates a fact that pains her soul. "She didn't want me to hold her."
Thankfully, the elderly woman recognizes Regina's clouded judgment and attempts to put the recent interaction into perspective. "She thought you were angry. I know you're just trying to protect her."
"I love my little girl." Maybe she needs to hear herself say it out loud and somehow that makes it more real.
"And, she knows that. And, Emma knows that," Sylvia assures.
The queen doesn't understand why she suddenly feels compelled to reveal her deepest fears to this complete stranger. Fortunately for her, she is too exhausted to fight the urge and allows herself to be vulnerable. "What if she thought I was yelling at Emma?"
""Regina, she's three," Sylvia kindly reminds. "There are going to be misunderstandings."
The unwelcomed thoughts return and the worst feeling in the world is currently consuming her, powerlessness. "Emma." The queen falls apart.
The elderly woman joins Regina on the bed and holds her in a secure embrace which, surprisingly to Regina, she gratefully accepts. "I saw you in there. You were wonderful with Emma. I never could have comforted her the way you did." Sylvia's words are evidently having a calming effect on the distraught woman. "You know her. You know how to reach her." Though Regina already knew this in her heart, it helps having confirmation from another person.
"I love her." She just needed to say it. Somehow, she believes that those three words have the power to heal past harms against the woman she loves.
"I am very protective of Emma," Sylvia explains, "and as far as I'm concerned no one will ever be good enough for her, except you."
The queen smiles contentedly, maybe now she can finally accept that she is not going to lose the woman who is her heart.
She returns to a previously discussed subject. "Why didn't Charlie want me to hold her?"
"She and Emma have always had special bond. I'm afraid that Charlie feels a responsibility to take care of Emma." She only hopes that explanation is adequate.
"She shouldn't have to. She's our child. I want her to enjoy being a child. It's my responsibility to take care of Emma."
"And, you'll help Charlie understand that; because you're here now. But, it will take time." Sylvia lightly grasps Regina's hands in her own. "You're a wonderful mother, Regina. And, being a mother means worrying about your children. Give her a few minutes and she'll forget what she was even crying about."
This woman is good. No one, other than Emma and maybe Mary-Margaret, has ever been able to reach the queen on this level before and evoke such candid confessions. Oh great, Regina suddenly realizes, in-laws. "I am overprotective. I was with Henry. And, now that I have a daughter, I'm frightened out of my mind."
"You love her very much," Sylvia confirms.
"I just want to be better…than my mother. I grew up feeling that nothing I ever did was good enough. I thought that if I was exactly the person my mother wanted me to be then maybe she would love me. I never want Charlie to feel that way. I can't do that to her." That was unexpected. Regina quickly attempts to rebuild the emotional wall that she had unknowingly knocked down. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to unload all of this on you."
"You obviously needed to talk about it," Sylvia encourages.
She'd already confessed so much, the wall is abandoned once again. "I screwed up with Henry. I tried to shelter him so much that I made him feel like he was crazy. I won't do that again."
"You won't. Remember that you have Emma and me to help you. You're still going to make mistakes, Regina; that's called being human. All you can do is strive to be better."
"How are you so wise?" The queen is absolutely baffled as to how this woman is able to clear away all the insecurities, within a single conversation, that Regina has felt for nearly…never mind the number of years.
"I'm speaking from my own experience…and many years in therapy," Sylvia honestly admits. "Just remember, Regina, you are not your mother."
The queen expresses her sincere gratitude. "Thank you, Sylvia."
"I hope you realize how much your family means to me, Regina. I don't know what I would do without Emma or Charlie."
In this moment, the brunette woman recognizes how she can repay this woman's kindness. "You will always be a part of their lives…and mine," she assures. "We're a family."
The elderly woman envelopes Regina in a grateful hug; which the queen has no trouble reciprocating.
"I want to thank you, Regina, for being so good to Emma."
"I promise she'll be happy. I will devote the rest of my life to her happiness."
"She makes you happy too, doesn't she?" Regina can't control the blissful smile spreading across her face. "Come on. I'm sure Charlie's recovered by now." Sylvia rises from the bed, but is stopped by a mild hand before she can exit the room.
When the elderly woman turns her attention toward the brunette woman, Regina articulates, "Thank you…for accepting me."
The elderly woman embraces Regina again. "I'm really proud of you, Regina. You have overcome so much. You deserve all good things, you deserve your family."
The queen lets herself be comforted by this remarkably warm individual as she brings to mind all those times when she was denied her own mother's love and acceptance as a child. Maybe, this is her second chance. Maybe, that child can heal now. "Thank you for being part of my family."
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As she turns the corner to enter the kitchen, she takes in a sight that whisks her breath away. The sunlight streaming in through the glass door is shining on the blonde woman as if it rises just for her. Emma is smiling brightly, completely enamored with the giggling girl in her arms.
At that moment, Emma becomes aware that she and her daughter are not alone. Her expression softens when she catches sight of Charlie's mother. Regina only hopes that her eyes are able to communicate the adoration in her heart. "Look Charlie." The younger woman directs her daughter's attention to the brunette standing in the doorway. "Mommy's back."
Making a conscious effort to keep her tone even and soothing, the queen approaches her precious girl. "I'm here," she confirms.
"I think Mommy needs a hug," Emma whispers, next to her daughter's ear.
Being a very sensitive child by nature, Charlie is concerned by the streaks of dried tears on her brunette mother's face. "Are you sad?"
It is just not possible to love this little angel any more if she tried, Regina thinks. "No sweetheart," Regina relaxes. "I'm not sad. I'm very happy." And, she is truly happy. She smiles brightly when the little girl suddenly reaches for her.
"Mommy."
"My baby." The queen secures her greatest treasure in a loving embrace. "I love you, Charlie…so much." Unwillingly, fresh tears threaten to spill from her eyes. The love she feels for her family is the truest thing she has ever known.
"I love you too," the tiny child mumbles into her mother's shoulder.
The blonde woman watching this beautiful scene between mother and child unfold, begins rubbing soothing circles on daughter's back. "Hey, kid. Is there something you want to ask Mommy?"
The tiny child sits up in her brunette mother's arms in order to meet her eyes.
A hopeful Regina encourages, "What do you want to ask me, sweetie?" She is fearful that her daughter may not trust her enough to voice her request.
The cutest timid voice carefully articulates her request. "Will you feed squirrels with me? Please?"
"Can't argue with that," the younger woman, casually, endorses.
"Okay, sweet girl." Regina agrees, kissing her daughter's forehead in approval, before setting her on the tile floor. "We'll feed them together," she continues, grasping Charlie's tiny hand in her own. "Would you like that?"
"Mm-hm." It's obvious that Charlie is trying to contain the excitement she feels at the prospect. But, her dimples give her away.
"Alright, princess." Regina beams. "What do squirrels eat?"
"I've got it right here," Sylvia interjects. "They like peanut butter." She offers Regina a single slice of bread layered with creamy peanut butter.
The clueless queen spontaneously stiffens and hesitantly accepts the offered bread. "What am I supposed to do with this?"
"Just hold it out there," Sylvia encourages. "They'll only get close enough to snatch it out of your hand."
"Can I hold it?" Charlie is apparently over trying to contain the excitement.
"You can help me," Regina explains. "But, I'm going to hold the bread. These are wild animals, honey. I don't want you to get bitten, because that will hurt."
Clearly the scare tactic worked. "They bite me?"
Regina mentally kicks herself for using fear as motivation for a three-year-old. She crouches down to Charlie's level and softens her tone. "Not while I'm here, sweetie. I will never let anything happen to my princess."
Unknowingly, Regina just uttered the magic word. The little girl smiles wildly. "I'm a princess."
"Yes, you are," Regina proudly confirms, and kisses her daughter's forehead. The queen wraps a protective arm around her excited child and holds her close. "Okay Charlie, stand right here."
"Mommy, here he comes," Charlie confidently announces, pointing in the direction of the curious rodent.
"I see him, honey." The queen attempts to reel her daughter in a smidge. "Just stay real still, you don't want to frighten him away."
As the cautious creature approaches, the queen stiffens. She is used to being in control of situations and using force to get what she wants. In this situation, she realizes, a pocket sized furry creature holds all the power. This is her life now. She holds her daughter close and anxiously waits for the squirrel to make its move.
"He took it," the little girl cheers in excitement. She watches that same squirrel run over to the base of a neighboring tree, where it sits munching on its recently obtained meal.
"Yes he did!" What had suddenly come over her? Regina is legitimately excited over a rodent. Truthfully, it's what her daughter did for her today that causes her excitement. The simple act of feeding a squirrel humbled Regina and helped her to let go of the need for control in every situation. No wonder she is always tired, she reflects.
"Again, Mommy! Again!" The little girl is practically bouncing off the walls.
"Look, there's another one on his way over," Emma encourages.
"Thank you, Sylvia." Regina accepts another slice of bread, layered with peanut butter.
"Can I hold it, Mommy? Can I?!"
The queen surprises herself. "I will let you hold it. But, you need to do exactly as I say, okay?" She's letting go. She's really letting go. And, by letting go of the need to control she is able to enjoy being a mother.
"Yes," the child, dutifully, replies.
"Okay, now, just hold the bread out there. Don't be scared. He's more scared of you than you are of him." Even though she believes that her daughter is perfectly capable of the task on her own, the queen still holds her daughter lightly around the waste, so she feels secure.
"Don't be scared," the little girl repeats, directing her comment toward the approaching squirrel. Regina revels in the joy she feels at hearing her own words come out of her daughter's mouth.
"Okay now, here he comes."
"I did it!"
It is not a monumental occasion, but, to Regina, this marks a turning point. "Yes you did! I'm so proud of you!" She immediately lifts the excited child into the air and hugs her tightly.
"Good job, kiddo!" The blonde woman is on her feet and joining her family's celebration.
"Did you see, Mommy? Did you see?"
"I did." Emma peppers her giggling girl's face with kisses. "I saw my big girl feeding squirrels!"
"I love squirrels."
The blonde woman's enthusiasm continues. "You do?"
"Mm-hm." Thankfully, the child begins to settle.
The brunette woman has not stopped smiling this entire time; a fact which is not lost on her partner, who's eyes communicate what words cannot in the present moment.
Lost in her lover's gaze, Regina searches her repertoire for a common suggestion. "We really should get going."
Attempting to discretely clear her throat, that has suddenly gone dry, Emma makes a suggestion that she hopes is not too obvious. "Hey, kiddo, why don't you and Grandma go get your stuff from your room."
Recognizing that her girls need a moment alone, Sylvia endorses Emma's proposal. "That's a good idea. Come on, Charlie."
Regina places a tender kiss on her daughter's cheek. "Go on sweetie," she whispers, gently setting her precious child on the floor. She watches her daughter exit the room before directing her attention toward the blonde woman who has the ability to make her heart race with only a single look. When she registers the flirtatious stare, Regina is suddenly at a loss for words. "What?"
The younger woman approaches her queen. "You are such a softy."
"I am not."
"Regina, you just fed what you referred to as vermin." There is no such thing as personal space between these two.
Their hands find each other, fingers intertwining automatically. "I just…can't handle seeing my little girl cry…either of my girls. But, make no mistake, I am not soft."
The younger woman lifts both sets of joined hands and lightly rests them on her abdomen. "Maybe this one will change your mind."
Just the thought of holding her newborn baby girl in her arms sends up a torrent of emotion. "I am soft." The queen is outwardly crying. She is not even going to attempt to stop the tears from flowing.
Emma wraps her arms firmly around Regina's shoulders. "I love you so much Regina." "You big softy," she teases.
That last part earns Emma an honest chuckle from the older woman.
"How's your head?"
Emma's expression falls. "Still hurts," she regretfully admits.
Just then, the little girl and her grandmother reenter the kitchen.
"Ready to go, kid?
The little girl nods enthusiastically. "Henry!"
"I'm sorry we can't stay," the younger woman expresses, donning her trademark jacket.
"Don't worry about that. Go spend time with your son."
"You're the best, Sylvia." She kisses the elderly woman's cheek and envelopes her in a grateful embrace. "Thanks again for watching Charlie."
"You call me and let me know that you're safe," Sylvia request, patting Emma's back.
"I will. I promise."
"I love you."
"I love you, too."
Next, Regina instructs the little girl by her side, "Okay, sweetie, give Grandma kisses."
"Bye, Grandma!"
The elderly woman bends down to Charlie's level and hugs her. "Bye, my baby. I love you."
"Love you, too," the sweet child reciprocates.
"Come on, kiddo," Emma urges, gesturing for her daughter to follow her to the car and grasping her hand.
The queen stands by, awkwardly. "Goodbye, Sylvia."
"You're not getting away that easy," Sylvia informs. She wraps her arms firmly around Regina's shoulders and feels the rigid woman relax in her embrace. "Be good to yourself, Regina."
"We'll see you again soon," Regina guarantees.
"Alright." The elderly woman has to break the hug, before she starts crying. She is already beginning to tear. "Be careful. Drive safely," she calls out to the pair.
"We will," Regina calls back.
"Okay, kiddo. Mommy and I have to drive in separate cars so who do you want to ride with?"
"Mommy," the little girl cheers in reference to her blonde mother.
Emma attempts to steer her daughter in another direction, understanding what it would mean to Regina. "Are you sure you don't want to ride with your mom?"
Moved by this, deeply appreciated gesture, Regina tries to sound reassuring. "Emma, it's alright. She should ride with you. This way I can watch over both of you at the same time."
The young woman offers a genuine smile. "Okay." "Come on, kid." She helps the little girl into the backseat of the yellow bug. As she begins to secure the tiny child in her car seat, the little girl begins to whine. "Charlie, what's the matter?"
"Mommy?" She searches for her brunette mother. "Mommy?"
"Mommy's coming with us. She' in her car."
"Mommy! MOMMY!" Suddenly, the younger woman is in a panic.
To her great relief, her partner recognizes the distressed look immediately. "Emma?"
"Regina, I need you," the younger woman shouts.
She can hear the hysterical child crying from inside the car.
In an instant, and without the aid of magic, Regina is by her lover's side. She climbs half-way inside the vehicle to comfort her very upset child. Regina naturally slips into the role she was born to play: mother. She swiftly unbuckles her sweaty child and carefully lifts her out of the car seat with ease.
"Charlie," she soothes, "it's alright, sweetheart." Instinctively, she begins to rock the limp child and rub soothing circles on her back. Turning her attention toward the younger woman, the expert mother asks, "What happened?"
"I don't know," the flustered woman answers. "I was just trying to buckle her in," she explains. "I think she thought you weren't coming with us."
"Mommy," the tiny child cries and hugs her mother tighter.
"Okay. Shhhhh….it's okay. Mommy's here," she continues to soothe. Turning her attention back toward the blonde woman, Regina gently rests a hand on Emma's bicep. "Are you alright?"
Her breathing has still not regulated. "I'm fine. I just…she needed you." Though that fact that she was unable to comfort her child would eat her alive if she let it, the younger woman is grateful that Charlie recognizes both of them as her mothers.
For her daughter's benefit, Regina forces enthusiasm in her tone regarding the upcoming trip. "I'm coming with you, Charlie. I'm going to be in my car, right behind you."
The child immediately protests. "Mommy, no!" Her crying escalates once again.
"Okay, sweetie. I'm not leaving you. I promise. Shhhhhh…I'm right here."
Just then, Regina is alarmed to discover that the blonde woman, who she has sworn to protect, is no longer by her side.
Emma is quickly approaching the house, where the elderly woman is standing at her front door watching the scene play out. "Sylvia?!"
Opening the door and stepping onto the porch, the concerned woman queries, "What's the matter? What happened?"
"Charlie started screaming when I tried to put her in her car seat," the out of breath woman explains. "I don't think it's a good idea for Regina and I to drive separately today. Could we leave the Mercedes here for a little while?"
"Of course you can." The elderly woman has now joined Emma and they are both walking back toward the abandon bug.
"You're a life saver, Sylvia."
Fortunately, time has allotted Regina a chance to calm her beloved child. She is comfortably rocking her subdued baby girl in her arms as she hums a familiar tune.
The sight of her daughter resting her head on Regina's shoulder, sucking her thumb in contentment, and the woman she loves caring for their daughter so tenderly, causes Emma's heart to swell; almost painfully. The last thing she wants to do is interrupt such a sweet sight, but the younger woman recognizes that the interruption is necessary. "Regina," she quietly begins. "Sylvia said it's alright to leave your car here, until we can come back to get it."
"Thank you, Sylvia." The queen is beyond grateful for this woman's understanding.
"Not a problem," Sylvia assures. "Is my baby crying?"
"She's alright." Regina places a feathery kiss on her daughter's forehead. "She just got scared."
"Don't cry, Charlie." The warm woman approaches the unresponsive child. "You're mommies love you very much and they're going to excellent care of you." She tries a different approach when she fails to get a reaction from her granddaughter. "Where's my smile. I want my girl to smile."
Emma revels in her brilliance, when she suddenly remembers what always makes her little one smile even in the bleakest moments. "I think I know how to get her to smile," she reveals, with a hint of mischief in her voice. She contorts into a crouched position, resembling a classic fairytale villain, and mimes sneaking up on her daughter, despite the fact that she is in plain sight.
The child recognizes her mother's intention immediately and is already giggling in anticipation. Emma eagerly begins running her fingers along the giggling child's side, to which the little girl reacts by erupting into a fit of laughter; simultaneously, causing the three adults to laugh in joyful response.
"Emma," Regina half-heartedly scolds.
"Mommy, help," the hysterical child begs.
"I've got you my girl," Regina responds, holding her daughter close.
The younger woman immediately backs off, and the laughter dwindles. The older woman reaches a hand out to her lover and brings her in for a tender kiss. Normally, the couple is mindful about their PDA, but moments like these are too special to be treated passively.
"You two should get going," Sylvia, gently, reminds. "Henry's waiting."
"Okay, I think we're ready now," Emma announces. "Bye, Sylvia!"
"Bye, Grandma!" Charlie waves to the elderly woman as Regina is helping her into the back of the bug.
"Bye, kids! Be careful!"
"We will," Regina confirms, sending Sylvia an honest smile.