The Banished

Chapter 32

He was fifteen when Luxa asked him to be a part of her royal guard. Her coronation was in a few days and they were spending her final days of freedom beyond the city walls, Aurora having dropped them by the waterway.

His father was already dead and his school attendance record was a bad joke at best. He had been spending so much time down there that he knew that his mother knew where he was. His worst kept secret. She just didn't know what to do with him. That's what she told everyone. That he was a teenage, out of control, boy and she didn't know what to do about school or work or any of that. And he felt bad for her, he really did, but he just couldn't keep away. Even back then he knew where his real home was.

So they were just sitting there, by the water, neither talking about much. Luxa was sitting slightly away from him, her knees pulled up to her chest, while he laid on his back, staring up at the nothingness above them. They had no torch. Only darkness.

"Gregor?" she had whispered eventually.

He didn't move to look at her as he grunted out a, "What?"

She took a deep breath before letting it out slowly. "This is the last time. Maybe. When I am queen, truly queen, I cannot leave the capital like this."

"Yeah, I know."

There was a pause again before she said softly, "We won't be able to spend much time together."

"I won't go nowhere, Luxa," he assured her, turning his head slightly to look at her. "Not unless you want me to."

She swallowed then, visibly. "Everyone always leaves."

"I'm not."

"My mother, my father, Henry, Ares, Solovet-"

"I'm not," he repeated louder then. "I'm not, Luxa."

"Your mother hates us."

"What?"

"The Underland. All of us." Then she shook her head. "She hates me."

"That's not-"

"What are we supposed to do then, Gregor?" She glanced over at him in the darkness. "I have responsibilities."

"And you take very good care of them and will continue to."

She paused before saying, "My aunt and uncle have arrived."

"York and Susannah. Yeah, I know. We ate dinner with them last night." Gregor relaxed once more. "York's great. He-"

"Susannah felt as if she needed to…speak with me on things."

"What things?'

"People talk, Gregor. We are currently at peace with all those around us and yet the warrior is still here."

"The warrior is dead," he told her simply. "I am here for leisure."

"And that is a problem to many."

"To who?"

She let out a long sig. "Susannah told me that it is not just my duty to take care of the realm and rule it, but also to…to…"

"Are you blushing?" he asked in a mocking tone. He had no way of knowing of course, but he could tell from her tone that she was embarrassed. He was only trying to lighten the mood. If it truly was their last day alone, then he wanted it to be a happy one. Not a sad one. "Huh, Lux?"

"She told me that it is my duty to further the line. Either that or my father's line dies out with me."

That brought it way back down. "Nerissa-"

"Come now, Overlander, be serious."

"I am being serious," he argued. "Besides, Lux, of course you have to have kids. It's, like, all women are good for."

"I am not going to…play into you, Overlander."

He only smiled though thoughts of the future were not ones that he cared for either. "What else did your aunt tell you while your uncle was getting me drunk?"

That got him a look. "You should not drink with him."

"I am of age here," Gregor told her. "Besides, you're not my mother. Now what else did Susannah say?"

Luxa looked off then. "Just that it is even rumored in the Fount."

"What is rumored?"

"You and I."

"What?"

"People talk from Regalia to the Fount about how I am practically allowing you to live with me."

"I'm only down here, what? Five days to of a week? And even then, I don't sleep in the royal wing. I have a room. Do I sneak out of that room? Yes, I-"

"Gregor."

"Lux, what do you want me to do? What do you want me to say? Because I do not know why it is anyone's business. You are old enough to be queen in a few days. I was and still am old enough to be used as a prop to send off to war with the gnawers every other month or so. So who are they to tell us how to live? They want us to protect their stupid lives-"

"Calm down."

"No."

"Gregor-"

"I like your aunt and everything, but-"

"She wished to talk to me about other things as well."

"Like?"

"….She fears that the rumors are true and that you and I have been engaging in…other activities and told me of how dire it is that I do not fall pregnant with-"

"Oh, God, really?" He let out a loud groan then. "Shouldn't it be, like, treason to gossip about the queen or something? What did you tell her?"

"What could I tell her, Gregor?"

He threw an arm over his eyes. "Is that why York was so nice to me? Because they're trying to get rid of me? Or was he trying to give me alcohol poisoning?"

"Be quiet." She shook her head. "Then she told me that as my mother and Solovet are both gone that she is the closest woman in my life and that she only wishes for me to be…wholesome for the man that I end up marrying."

"When does that happen?"

"When does what happen?"

"When do they make you…marry?"

"No one can make me marry, Gregor."

"They can't?"

"Of course not. Especially considering I have no direct relative other than Susannah and Vikus. And they are both of the same mind. York, I suppose, could arrange something, but I would have to agree. And he is not concerned with me marrying. He is hardly concerned with me at all. He told me last night that he believes I shall do as well as queen as I have up to this point."

"Ripred said the same thing and he was not being positive."

Luxa made a scoffing noise. "And what does he know? No one even follows him these days. He is just a lonely, washed up old rat. Nothing more."

"So, what are you going to do?"

"Do? I'm not going to do anything. Why should I?" Luxa sat up straighter then. "Susannah should learn her place. I am truly in power in a mere matter of days. I could very easily remove her husband from power."

"Luxa-"

"I won't, Gregor, of course, but still."

He sighed then, closing his eyes. "Why are you telling me all of this anyways? Huh?"

"I suppose you wouldn't believe that it is simply because I love you?"

"You would suppose right."

"Well," she began slowly. "It only troubles me on how long we can keep this up."

"This?"

"This…relationship."

They rarely called it that. Gregor knew, in the technical sense at least, that Luxa was his girlfriend and if they lived above, she would be called that. He did call her it too, sometimes, when they were alone. But down there, in the Underland, he was an unwelcome man courting a queen.

"What are you saying?"

Letting out a long breath, she said, "My head of the royal guard is retiring. It is customary for a new ruler to handpick their guards. The men who have served me so far are the ones that remain from the massacre."

"Massacre?"

There was a pause before she said, "The night my parents were killed, the city was under siege. Many of the royal guard were killed. That is how my parents were murdered."

"Where…"

"Hmmmm?"

He didn't want to ask, but he did want to know. "Where were you?"

"When the gnawers attacked? I, Henry, and Nerissa, were in the nursery when the trumpets sounded. A nursery worker took the three of us far away, to a hidden passage, without the other children. Then, when it was over, we were orphans."

Her cool tone of voice bothered him, but he knew that it was a defense mechanism.

"I'm sorry."

"Why are you sorry? You did nothing to cause it."

"You know what I mean. It's what you say when-"

"You tell me that you hate it when someone apologizes about your father."

"I know. But it's different when I say it to you."

"Why?"

"Because it's true," he told her softly. "I do feel sorry that that happened to you."

She sat there for a moment, as if taking it in. Then, slowly, she said, "I only tell you this as I want you."

"You want me," he repeated slowly. "Isn't that what Susannah just spoke with you about?"

She ignored him. "I want you to be the head of my royal guard. If you'll accept, I-"

"You what?"

Nodding slightly, she said, "It is a lot of work, but it would give you a chance to-"

"Luxa, I can't live here."

"You do live here."

"No," he said, shaking his head. "I don't. And I'm only fifteen. I-"

"And I am only fifteen, almost sixteen, yet I control Regalia and the Fount. You can do whatever you wish, Overlander."

"Lux-"

"Who is going to tell you that you can't? Your mother?" She snorted. "She does not want you here now and yet you are."

"She's still my mother, Luxa. She won't-"

"And if your fear is what others down here will think, then let me alleviate you. I am their queen. They think what I want them to think."

"I don't-"

"Unless," she said slowly, staring at him. "The reason you are hesitant is because you do not want to be the head of my guard. Which if that is so, then-"

"Luxa, you haven't even given me a chance to think about it," he pointed out. "God, I mean, this isn't like you asking me to go to the jungle with you or the Dead Lands or whatever. This is my future. Our future. Give me a sec."

She was silent again, just sitting there. Gregor let out a long sigh, opening his eyes to stare up into the darkness once more.

"What would I do? As a guard? Other than, like, guard you?"

"You would be in charge of the other guards," she told him. "That is why you are the head. You would spend most of your time with me. Wherever I go, you go."

"So like now, just with pay."

She glanced at him. "It comes with a room. And you have free access to the mess hall, like any other guard and soldier."

"Free room and board? Hmmm."

"So yes then, Overlander?"

"Beg me."

"Excuse me?"

"Beg me to serve you. Beg me to be your guard."

"No," she told him without even thinking about it. "There is no way that I'll ever-"

"Beg me or I won't do it."

"Gregor-"

"Beg me!" He sprang up then, moving to wrap his arms around her and pull her down to the ground with him. She was fighting him off, but was also laughing the entire time. "Beg me, Lux, and I'll do it."

"No! Let me go, Gregor. Or-"

"Beg me," he ordered, holding tighter. "You know you want me to be it. Just beg me and I will. Beg me, Luxa. You have to."

"I do not."

"Beg-"

"You are begging me to beg you to do something?"

"I'm not begging. I'm ordering," he corrected. "If you do not, I shall never let you go."

"Gregor-"

"Do you want me with you forever or not?"

"Please," she finally gave in.

"Please what?"

"Please be my guard."

"Mmmm…not convincing enough."

"Gregor-"

"I'm sorry, I'm just not feeling-"

"Please be the head of my royal guard. I need you to be."

"I-"

"I want you to be. I want you with me always. I want you to watch over me. I trust no other like I trust you. I wish for you to be at my side always. If this is the only way, then so be it. Become my guard, Gregor the Overlander."

"Lux…" he whispered as he let her go. She immediately sat back up, scooting away from him.

"Now, I cannot formally ask you until at least three months into my reign. It shall be in private, like this, but it shall take effect immediately."

"Why-"

"Because I cannot send my head guard into retirement early, can I?"

"You know," he said then. "I haven't even said yes yet."

"Yet," she agreed. "Wait until I ask you three months from now then, yes? It will seem more real then."

He shifted onto his side, staring at her. "Tell me that you love me."

"Gregor, I am not-"

"You don't love me?"

"Of course I love you," she told him with a frown. "But for what reason would we continue to say what is already acknowledged?"

"I dunno, Lux."

"…Do you love me?"

"For what reason would we continue to say-"

"Gregor."

"I love you," he assured her. "No matter what happens, I always will. Okay? So don't worry about it. I'll say yes when you ask me in three months. Hell, I'd start today if you wanted. I don't care what your aunt or anyone else thinks about it. We're together because we want to be and we'll stay that way as long as we want to be."

"Promise?"

"Promise," he said with a nod of his head. "Forever and always."

"Forever and always."

It was that scene that replayed itself in Gregor's mind as he walked along with that sect of the banished. It was for a multitude of reasons of course, but the main was because that was one of the last times that things had been simple for them. They had never been kids, not really, not since they had met, but that was the closest they had ever been. They were both rebelling against the rules set against them by being together. Now they were sending each other off to be slaughtered, metaphorically and physically.

It was a long walk. The sickly woman was carried on the back of her husband, who seemed rather strong, considering how emaciated many of them were. Whenever they stopped to rest, he always made sure that she got the water from his wineskin before he ever did. And then he would go about changing her bandages and cleaning her wounds. Randomly he would give her kisses or assure her that she would be okay, that they were headed home and he would care for her until they made it.

Gregor almost felt wrong for overhearing those things or seeing them. It seemed like a very private moment. The man seemed to care deeply for the woman and from the glances the others kept giving them, he could tell that there was a high chance that she would not make it much longer. He wished there was something he could do. He had been in that spot before. He could remember holding Luxa up, trying to keep her conscious, that time they were flying back from the Fire Lands. He couldn't imagine having to carry her for such a long distance, but he would. In a heart beat.

Err, rather he would have. He liked to fancy himself vengeful at the moment. Luxa had done wrong, setting him up the way she had, and he was not happy about it. Still though, under that hard façade he was putting on, he knew deep, deep down that he would do everything in his power to protect Luxa, to save Luxa. He would do anything for her. Anything.

Even follow her orders after she blatantly stabbed him in the back.

"How much further then, Luce, do you think?" one of the men asked the woman. "Feels like it's been forever."

"I do not know," she told him with a shake of her head. "Even when we find King Vlad and Queen Usha, we must head back home anyways. You shall be walking for awhile. It will only do you good. We must all train harder, become stronger. In the coming days, we shall overtake that wretched witch in power."

That seemed to give them all an extra boost, the thought of taking down Luxa. Gregor only hung his head, wishing that they would make it to their destination soon. There were only so many memories that he could replay to keep himself occupied.

He dreamed about her that night when they made camp. He had a sinking feeling that the Luce woman did not truly know where she was headed and had gotten them lost, but she seemed certain, so he kept the thoughts to himself.

Still, as he laid there unable to sleep, he thought of Luxa. It was only natural that it would be she that he dreamed about then as well. His hate was dying for her at about the same rate as his love was blooming once more. He wished that she was there with him.

When he awoke suddenly in the night, he did not remember his dream, but it was okay. He only remembered Luxa and Hazard being in it, Aurora as well, as he missed home. He wanted to get it all over with so that he could get back there.

It was screaming that woke him up. It was from that man, the one caring for who Gregor assumed to be his wife. She had broken out in a fever. He wanted help from the others and a few offered their assistance. Gregor tried to go over there and help, but that archer, Brand, immediately drew his bow and pointed it at him, ordering him not to move. The woman did not make it passed the next hour.

The next morning, when they were ready to move out, the man pulled his short blade, a dagger maybe, and slit his own throat.

The others went on without a second thought.

It bothered Gregor though the whole walk. He kept thinking about that man, pleading with someone to help him. For anyone to help him. About how he could not go on. How he needed her. It was now the memory replaying in Gregor's mind, as well as the stroke Vikus had when he heard the news of his wife's death. He and Solovet were not on good terms at her death and Vikus had confided in Gregor, many years later, that that was his biggest regret.

If Gregor were to die out there, fighting the banished, the last time he would have touched Luxa would have been when he slapped her. The last thing he said to her was harsh, unforgiving words. He had been so angry. So very angry. And now, in the hands off the enemy, a spy of sorts, he could not help, but hate himself for that.

He wondered if she was upset too. Their anger with one another was typically fleeting. Especially when one or the other was put in a dangerous situation. He knew that she had to a lot to deal with back home, but figured she still had time to think about him. He was her boyfriend, after all, in the technical sense of the word. Her male mistress, maybe, would be a more real…no. No. Ew. That just sounded…no, he certainly wasn't that.

He was beyond lost, in time and the layout of the Underland by the time they made it to Vlad's camp. The man was there, holding court it seemed, sitting in the center of a circle, speaking loudly to his people. Gregor was shoved over to him almost immediately. He was embarrassed as he was shoved to the ground before Vlad, who immediately stood. The people in the circle had fallen completely silent while Luce stepped up to stand next to Gregor.

"And what have we here? A lost Overlander? Or a rouge Regalian?"

"Neither," he said simply. "I-"

"He came to us, sire," the woman told him before dropping to one knee before her leader. "I brought him to you to pass judgment. He claims to have escaped certain death and come for revenge against the crown as well as to help fulfill our prophecies."

"You may rise, Luce," he said simply, still just staring down at Gregor. "Is that so, warrior?"

Gregor swallowed before tentatively asking, "I thought I was the ghost now?"

"Ha ha!" Vlad shook his head at that, smiling brightly. Then he turned his back and his tone took a more serious one. "Bind him and never set him free."

"Wh-"

"Do as I say. Now." Then he sat back down, facing the other way then and began to speak to his men once more.

And Gregor thought Luxa was a crazy leader…

He thought about resisting, but he knew it would be futile. Vlad's men were armed whereas he was not. It was best to just follow directions, he figured.

Vlad wished for them to bind him and bind him did they. His feet to his hands, Gregor was completely immobile. After, they left him there, on the ground, slightly away from everyone else, not even feeding him or nothing.

So once again, Luxa's fine leadership and planning had left him in the clutches of the enemy, awaiting certain death or to be used as some sort of a hostage.

You know, sometimes he really had to hand it to her. She really knew how to royally screw everything up. Honestly.

While he was sitting there, Gregor tried his hardest to drown Vlad out. He really did. The last thing he wanted to hear were the ravings of a lunatic. After all, he had sat through countless of Luxa's meetings and heard her give rulings before. He had heard more than enough for a lifetime, honestly.

"-marks the day that we have truly found victory. Their biggest asset lies in our palms once again and my wife shall not mess it up this time. I hold the Overlander now, not her, and that shall equal definite success. She thinks merely of claiming the throne, while I know the true desires of us all. To awaken the beast from eons of slumber, in his watery grave."

Ugh. Gregor shook his head before going back to his own thoughts. They seemed to be the only thing of interest to him as of late. Everyone else was so self absorbed. They all wanted power when he honestly wanted the exact opposite. He did not want to be a king, he did not want to be a general. He did not want to lead anyone anywhere. He just wanted things to be simple, like they were when he was a kid. The gnawers were bad and did bad things, therefore Regalia had to punish them and keep them at bay. They had to save themselves and the nibblers from the big bad rats.

But even that did not sound right in his head. Not all of the gnawers were bad. Though that was true about the Regalians. Though no one, but Hazard, ever liked to talk about it, Solovet was pure evil. And was he not stuck following her commands for the majority of the time? And no one ever wanted to admit they had made a mistake, putting her in power, because that would hurt their pride. No one wanted to admit that she was consumed with the cost of winning and would do it at any cost, even to the point of losing two of her children and finally herself.

So maybe he didn't want the past either. He liked Perdita and thought that she was good army head. And he liked Mareth too. As much as he hated to admit it, he at times enjoyed Barrett's company as well. They were all good people at their cores and he wondered at times if they had been in power instead of Solovet during the Prophecy of Time if the outcome would have been different. Or if the plague would have ever happened. Sure, it was fanciful thinking, but what else was he left to, but his own thoughts by that point?

In reality, he really didn't wish to go back to any specific time period. He truly just wanted to string together all the good moments in his life and just relive those. He didn't even want to make more. The ones he had were enough. Like back before Lizzie and Boots were born, when things were still good in his family. Or when his father first came back. That thrill of it all. Even though he was ill, of course, things were still good. Or the time that-

"What are you doing over here? Huh?" Gregor whispered as someone appeared next to him. Or rather crawled over to him. "Come to see me in my final moments? Came all this way for you though, so you might as well come see me."

Zander only stuck his tongue out at Gregor, something that he usually reserved for Luxa only to get corrected and told that he was misbehaving, before giggling. Gregor shifted against his restraints, but it was no use. They had bound his hands behind his back; he was caught.

The toddler made a noise at him then, as if trying to tell him something. Gregor only shrugged at him as best he could in the shadows from the fire someone had set. They would be cooking soon, he was sure.

"I don't know what you're saying, buddy."

He repeated the noise before tapping the top of his head. Gregor stared at him for a moment before frowning and shaking his head. He always wanted Luxa's crown for some reason, though she never let him have it. He was asking for Luxa.

"She's not here, buddy," Gregor told him softly. "I'm sorry."

Zander kept hitting himself in the head until he finally fell over, giggling the entire time. Gregor only stared at him though, not wanting to scare the little boy off.

"You look well," Gregor mumbled then, looking over the toddler. "Where's your mother? I wouldn't think she'd let you go off by yourself, but she doesn't seem to be around. Why did she leave you with Vlad? Seems kind of suspicious…"

The little boy sat up then before crawling over to Gregor and leaning against him. He made that motion with his hand that he did when he wanted food. Gregor only sighed.

"I'm not your caregiver anymore, I fear," he told him with a sigh. "I can't feed you. Sorry, buddy."

Zander eventually gave out and just took to leaning against the man, apparently finding it the opportune time to take a nap. Gregor could not blame him, as it was a rather dull day. Unless Zander chose to spend it listening to his stepfather's nonsense, eating sand, or craving human flesh (shiver) he really had nothing else to do.

Gregor allowed him to sleep against him for as long as he could. Eventually someone noticed his absence and began calling for him. Or rather they called what Gregor learned his name to be.

"James, huh?" he mumbled softly as the toddler stood up and started to rush back towards the woman calling out for him. "I'll remember that, Zander. Traitor."

Still, he left Gregor without a second thought. That was okay though, as Gregor was used to it by that point. Everyone goes away eventually.

Everyone.