Chapter 8

It's been an hour. I still can't sleep. I stand up and walk to the bathroom. I stand up and walk to the bathroom. I stare at my reflection. She couldn't love me. I slam my hands down on the counter top. I wince as my hands turn bloody again.

I turn on the shower. I stand under the water, wondering how far into the Games I'll make it. I think a lot of Capitol people are routing for me now. Because I made the Games interesting.

I turn the water off and dry myself off and get into my pajamas. I lay down. I listen to the sound of a crowd cheering outside. I think being here in the Capitol has made me dislike them.

I can't sleep. I sit up and let out a frustrated breath. Maybe some fresh air will help. I walk to the roof top and open the door, I leave the door open slightly, because I wouldn't want to get locked out here. I sit down. The Capitol people still cheer. They must be throwing a party. There celebrating the death of twenty three young lives.

I stare out into the sky and wonder what's going on in District Twelve. If my mother is at least a little upset that one of her sons could die tomorrow.

I stare at the moon and wonder if it's the same moon as back in District Twelve.

"You should be getting some sleep." says Katniss.

I shake my head. "I didn't want to miss the party. It's for us after all." I say without turning to look at her.

Katniss walks to me. I watch her as she squints. "Are they in costumes?"

I grin. "Who could tell? With all the crazy cloths they wear here." I say. "Couldn't sleep either?"

"Couldn't turn my mind off," she says.

"Thinking about your family?" I ask.

"No, all I can do is wonder about tomorrow. Which is point less, of course." Katniss turns to face me and sighs. "I really am sorry about your hands."

I shake my head. "It doesn't matter, Katniss. I've never been a contender in these Games anyway." I say.

Katniss frowns. "That's no way to be thinking."

"Why not? It's true. My best hope is to not disgrace myself and," I hesitate. Should I tell her what I've been thinking.

"And what?" she asks.

"I don't know how to say it exactly. Only I want to die as myself. Does that make any sense?" I ask. Katniss shakes her head. "I don't want them to change me in there. Turn me into some kind of monster that I'm not."

Katniss bites her lip. "Do you mean you won't kill anyone?"

"No, when the time comes, I'm sure I'll kill just like everybody else. I can't go down without a fight. Only I keep wishing I could think of a way to show the Capitol they don't own me. That I'm more than just a piece in their Games."

"But your not, none of us are. That's how the Games work." says Katniss.

"Okay, but within the frame work, there's still you, there's still me. Don't you see?" I ask.

Katniss nods. "A little. Only... no offense, but who cares, Peeta?"

My face heats up. "I do. I mean, what else am I allowed to care about at this point?"

Katniss steps back, trying to get farther away from me. "Care about what Haymitch said. About staying alive."

I smile at Katniss mockingly. "Okay. Thanks for the tip sweetheart."

Katniss raises her eyebrow. "Look, if you want to spend the last hours of your life planning some noble death in the the arena, that's your choice. I want to spend mine in District Twelve."

"Wouldn't surprise me if you do. Give my mother my best when you make it back, will you?" I ask, not sure if she knows how my mother treats me.

"Count on it," she says, then turns and leaves.

I leave the roof before I fall asleep outside. I pace around my room. I still don't think I'll be able to fall asleep. I force myself to lay down, and finally get some sleep.

Portia gives me some cloths to wear, the next morning. I will be prepared under the catacombs of the arena. A hovercraft appears, a ladder is dropped down from it. I grab onto the ladder and I'm frozen. I can't move at all. I'm lifted inside the hovercraft. A man in a white coat approaches me. "This is your tracker, stay still so I can place it correctly." says the man. Stay still? I'm frozen in place.

I watch as the man takes out a syringe. He inserts it into me, and the ladder releases me. And Portia is retrieved from the roof. I eat breakfast with Portia. The hovercraft lands and we go back down the ladder into the catacombs.

We follow instructions to a chamber for my preparations. The Capitol calls it a Launch Room. Everything in this Launch Room is brand new. I'll be the only tribute to use this Launch Room. I'm cleaned off, and Portia helps me into the cloths.

"Does everything feel comfortable?" Portia asks me.

"Yes."

We sit on the sofa and wait for my call.

I could be dead in less than an hour. Eventually a female voice announces it's time to prepare for launch.

I stand up and hug Portia. "Good luck, Peeta."

I walk over and stand on the circular metal plate. A glass cylinder lowers around me. I begin to rise into the arena. I'm pushed out into the open air. I ignore my instinct to step forward. If you step off the metal plate before the Games begin, you'll be blown up.

Claudius Templesmith, the legendary announcers voice booms all around me. "Ladies and gentleman, let the seventy-fourth Hunger Games begin!"

And from their we're given sixty seconds. One minute before the gong rings and the nightmare begins.