Hello, dearies! Thank you so much for the follows and reviews, including all the guest reviews and I really appreciate the suggestions. Keep them coming. I promise to include them as and when possible. So here's Chapter 4. Hope you like it. Please heed the warnings!

WARNINGS: Swearing, Self harm.

"You okay?" Elena asked Caroline on their way to History.

Caroline was wearing a dull brown cardigan and had her hair up in a messy bun which was so uncharacteristic of her. She squeezed her eyes shut and opened them again. "There's been gossip."

Elena was hoping she would just respond with a nod or a fine and move on. "About?"

"Tyler," Caroline said sadly. "I think he's cheating on me. People are talking."

Elena internally rolled her eyes. "Ignore them."

Ignoring them was easier said than done. Elena was starting to notice it herself. The whispers and looks seemed to have increased, but people weren't looking at Caroline so much as they were looking at her. In History, it became so bad that she couldn't even concentrate on her 'now- favorite' subject.

Alaric had started talking about Antislavery. Elena was trying hard to pay attention, but even Ric had a hard time staying on task as he had to keep yelling at people to settle down.

"Something's going on," Caroline hissed. "They're all over something new."

"Something new? Other than Tyler cheating on you?"

Caroline recoiled like she had slapped her in the face. Oh, would she just get over it already!

Things finally came to a head when a guy she barely knew made a very explicit and obscene suggestion to her. Elena kindly requested him to shove it up his ass.

He laughed. "Come on, Elena. I ache for you."

A few others laughed and someone behind her whispered. "Wait, it's Elena who does the cutting right?"

More giggles ensued. Realization hit her so hard, she winced. They know. Alaric gaped at her. He was the only person who knew. How could he? Elena felt giddy.

Just when Elena thought Caroline was going to join in with the rest of the class, she surprised her. "I can't decide who's more pathetic. The ones who start the rumors or the ones who spread them."

Tyler Lockwood chuckled. "Aw, tell her we saw the cuts, Elena." His grin turned nasty. "I thought BFFs shared."

"Oh, we saw more than just the cuts." The boy sitting next to him sneered, extracting a round of hoots.

They were implying that she had sex with them. Both of them! It sickened even Elena. This was beyond being called easy or a slut both of which she had been called innumerable times in her previous schools, her retorts always shutting people up for good.

But this was sleazy. And a lie.

"That's crazy!" Caroline cried. "Elena would never- Elena?" She looked betrayed.

Elena wasn't listening anymore. She stomped across the classroom to where Tyler and his idiot friend sat. They both looked smug but also nervous. Obviously because they were lying like gas meters.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Elena asked in a low, threatening voice.

"Elena," Alaric's voice was tense but Elena couldn't care less. The class had fallen silent.

Tyler 2.0 gave her a cocky smile. "We didn't do anything you didn't want us to do."

Elena wanted to punch them, kick them so hard in their balls that they wouldn't be able to lie about sleeping with anyone ever again. She wanted to wipe that ugly smirk off of Tyler 2.0's face.

"Neither did Caleb." Tyler winked.

"Did she sleep with the entire football team?" Someone teased.

Elena stopped breathing. Caleb. Why did that name sound familiar? Caleb… Dinosaurs… Caleb… His Tattoos… Damon… The Grill… What was his last name? Caleb Lockwood… Oh no!

Alaric hadn't told anyone. Tyler and his friend weren't to be blamed either. This was all her own doing. She had been foolish enough to get drunk with Tyler's cousin and bare herself to him. Needless to say, he had seen the cuts and gone blabbing to the first person.

The right thing to do or not, if Elena touched them, she would end up in the principal's office this time as Miss Sommers' had very kindly informed her a week ago and if that happened, she could get expelled. Taking a deep breath, she turned to look at Alaric which helped her make one of the hardest decisions of her life.

To walk away.

"Oh," Elena scowled, entering the living room. "What are you doing here?"

Damon looked comically around the house, "Do I need a hall pass?"

"He's had a fight with his girlfriend," Alaric was wearing gray jeans and a black V- neck sweater, displaying careless sophistication, "Be nice to him."

"You mean he's staying?" Elena asked as she saw Alaric head for the door.

With a lot of persuasion from her side, he had finally managed to ask Miss Sommers- her guidance councilor, out to dinner and it hadn't exactly been easy to keep him from cancelling the date because of Elena's latest stunt. Or non- stunt.

"Ric?" Damon called.

"Yeah?"

"Be cool."

"Yeah, yeah," He muttered, visibly anxious. Elena wasn't sure whether he was worried about her or the date.

"Are you hungry? I'm cooking." Damon said as he scavenged through the refrigerator for ingredients.

Elena walked over to Alaric and gave him an assuring hug. "You'll be fine. Just be yourself."

"PS, sweaty palms are a major turn off."

"Don't listen to him," Glowering at Damon, Elena pushed Alaric out and shut the door. He looked like he needed it. She crossed her arms, "So, what were you and your girlfriend fighting about?"

"Uh, er, sex," Damon's eyes twinkled. "She wants it all the time and I don't want it at all."

"Very funny. I bet Ric set this whole thing up." Elena sneaked a pepper from Damon's stash and started nibbling.

"You're smart."

Elena groaned. "For god's sake! How old does he think I am? Five?"

"He didn't want you to be alone is all," Damon grinned.

"Having a babysitter when I'm sixteen," Elena pushed aside the chopping board and hopped onto the kitchen counter. She sat facing him, "How humiliating."

"I'm not here to babysit," Damon gave Elena the once- over, his lips curved up in a salacious grin. "You don't look like you need it."

A perceptible shock ran across Elena's chest as Damon stared at her. "Um, so what are you making?" She attempted to disguise the sudden draw she felt toward him with small talk.

It worked. He started talking about his modernized Fettuccine, but he posed a knowing look, almost like he knew she was trying to distract him. Elena had succeeded in scouting out as much information about him from Ric without appearing too interested, although she wasn't completely convinced that Ric had bought it- he was a tough nut to crack.

From what she had gathered, Damon was the son of this supposed Italian culinary god and although not very close to his father, had inherited a fervor toward cooking which he didn't try to conceal. He was rich, spoilt and basically a walking cliché- leather jackets, cars and chicks. She hadn't paid much attention to the rest of the story about what a loyal friend he was in essence.

Elena was soon unintentionally lost in the way Damon moved. The way he chopped the herbs. Assertively yet precisely. The way he buttered the wok like it was the most intimate act conceivable. Geez, if the wok only had a libido! Elena was submerged knee- deep in Lalaland that she hadn't noticed she had been sucking on a spoon dipped in heavy cream until Damon cleared his throat shakily.

Damon's expression was strained. His chiseled jaw clenched in a hard line and his smoky blue eyes looked almost menacing, as if they held some hidden warning.

Elena had a hard time deciding whether the heat that surged through her veins was from the burning stove or the man, both just inches away from her. She swallowed hard when he reached out to brush off the smeared cream from her lower lip.

Ignoring the sweating, breathy mess that she was, Damon's eyes raked all over her like he couldn't get enough- like it was tortuous not to purge the maddening distance between them and take her right there, next to his sizzling Fettuccini. The air filled with a delicious aroma. Elena squirmed on the counter, feeling her insides tighten as Damon advanced.

The effect he had on her was startling. It was pure, carnal lust. Just as Damon leaned in, causing her heartbeat to quicken to an audible flutter, his phone buzzed- loud and clear- traumatizing her in its wake.

For one moment, she had felt truly wanted. The moment his eyes had rested on her lips. For that one moment, she had inadvertently coped to forget the world. Forget pain. But that moment was gone. Elena sighed as Damon shoved his hand into his hip pocket, cursing.

Cock- blocker alert. Damon was definitely seeing a pattern here. "Ric." His tone was clipped but he didn't step away from Elena.

Oh god, Ric! What the hell was she thinking? She couldn't fancy Damon. He was eight years older than her and Ric would have a fit if he figured out that she was fantasizing about his best friend. Elena looked away as if it would make her feel less guilty.

"She's fine," Damon continued on the phone, his eyes intent on Elena.

He found it frustrating that her thick curls veiled most of her face when turned away. He wanted to be able to see her. Solve the puzzle that was Elena Gilbert.

"Just worry about your date."

Alaric was the only person who gave a rat's ass about her. She couldn't betray his trust. She didn't like having to put so much thought into her actions. She was supposed to be impulsive. Selfish. Unbound by rules. Things had been a whole lot better when she hadn't felt the need to put others' needs first, but now that she did… Elena slid off the counter and made a run for the stairs.

It just seemed like the smart thing to do, but Damon was fast. He stopped her before she could cross the sink, his body cornering her. Feeling his penetrating gaze, Elena forced herself to look him in the eye. "What?"

Damon didn't say anything. He continued to stare her down haughtily. His expression was one of smug satisfaction and his stance was bold, while Elena couldn't at the least seem to control her breathing. His arrogant composure made her feel unusually self- conscious and the way his eyes graced her unnerved her in unfamiliar ways.

Elena Gilbert's usual buoyancy when it came to men, was nowhere in the vicinity. It had something to do with the way he looked at her. She didn't feel objectified like a few minutes ago. It somehow felt different.

He looked at her like he was assessing her in some personal level. His eyes flared like he had followed her trail of carelessly hinted insecurities and reached her dark cave of doom that she kept obscured under vines. All he had to do now was tear them down.

"Changed your mind?" Damon cocked his head to one side.

"I'm not," Elena croaked, "I'm not hungry."

"Suit yourself." Damon smirked before he retreated, giving her just enough space to squeeze her way out.

In the bathroom, Elena stripped off her clothes and sank to her knees under the shower, letting the warm streaming water subdue her sobs. She sat still for what seemed like hours, barely making sense out of all the things that were hurting her.

They roiled within her, making her chest hurt. Grayson and Miranda's accident. Tyler's stories. Her whore- status in school. The look on Caroline's face. Almost kissing Damon. Feeling inferior to him. This was what depression felt like- madness felt like.

Incapable and helpless, Elena made the only decision she could. The only thing she could do to channel all her emotions. She crawled over to the bathroom cabinet and found the cutter she kept hidden inside the box of Kleenex.

Ah, intense chapter. So Elena respects Ric and is warming up to him, but it's safe to say that Damon doesn't exactly have the most calming effect on her. Do you guys think she'll cut? Do you want her to? Did you guys like the chapter? As curious as ever. Let me know! PM me if you want to talk about the story or anything at all. Cheers :)