A/N: FINALLY I've conquered this chapter. Well… conquered it a bit. Anyway… thank you thank you thank you so much for following, reviewing or reading! Again (…..), sorry for taking so long to upload this! I promise to do my damndest to finish this story… and maybe a little faster, too xD Enjoy!
John hesitated.
Sherlock was still looking at him, his expression still unsure, guarded and helpless at the same time, both of them sitting on the floor like children that were confessing great secrets to each other.
Something in John's head screamed at him to make this second immortal as a memory, the moment when he was about to reach out to the man – flatmate, friend, then miserable fantasy – he'd missed so much for so long.
John realized he knew exactly what he was reaching for.
Now that he knew what to do, his calm had returned, but his hands were perfectly still, no adrenaline needed to keep them from shaking, now that the other (far more effective) antidote was back. Still, he made sure to pause his hand just a fraction of an inch from Sherlock's face. The insecurity in Sherlock's eyes deepened for a moment, then he closed them, sighing as if in defeat.
"... Go on then." It was barely a whisper, but enough for John.
The fingertips of his left hand brushed over Sherlock's jaw, ghosting over his lower lip to wipe away the trace of blood left from the impact his fist had made.
"Sorry about that", he said, and Sherlock actually smiled again now, more honest than before, although it still looked pained.
"It's not… it's alright. You were right when you said I'd let you. You have every right...," Sherlock trailed off and closed his eyes again as John cupped his cheek in his hand, leaning closer to rest his forehead against Sherlock's.
"I might take you up on that, but later. For now... could you just... say it?" John tried hard not to think about all the ways this could go wrong from here, wishing intensely that he had judged Sherlock correctly and wasn't about to be pushed away again. He didn't know if he'd survive that another time.
A long moment passed in silence, only interrupted by the even breaths that passed between them. Sitting on the cold floor was starting to get slightly uncomfortable, but John found he didn't mind at all.
Finally, Sherlock breached the quiet.
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry I've left like that. John, I'm sorry." He pressed his forehead into John's agitatedly, like he was trying to transmit the apology straight into his skull. John blinked with the intensity of it, and found Sherlock's eyes staring into his. They were the colour of waves, wild and alive, nothing like the terrifying, pale tone of death John remembered from after the jump.
"I've left you to protect you, and I shouldn't have, and I didn't think it would hurt you this much, but it has and I am so sorry, John-", at this part Sherlock got so agitated that his voice left him, and shut his mouth quickly in embarrassed surprise. And it reminded John of that time back in Dartmoor, when he first learned that Sherlock actually had very strong emotions, and what it cost him to keep them locked away, and how much he unravelled in a matter of seconds on the few occasions they broke through.
"Alright then", was all he could manage to say. "Alright."
Sherlock's eyes were still wide, but the relief in them was almost tangible. He shivered, and kept his gaze fixed on John's face. It seemed that they were both unable to speak any more, and John felt that it wasn't necessary. The words he'd needed had been spoken, and this was enough, at the moment.
His left hand had dropped to Sherlock's right shoulder, and he moved it back up, gently taking hold of Sherlock's jaw again. Another look passed between them, loaded with meaning that John didn't have to analyse. He couldn't tell when they had started to lean closer, but now he could feel Sherlock's breath instead of just hearing it, a final proof that he was alive, the greatest gift John had ever received. And then he reached Sherlock's lips, and all thoughts abandoned him.
(-Idiot Rambling-) A/N:Well this didn't take long at all, just six chapters in for that damn kiss :D stay tuned for more, I'll get back to this as soon as I've gotten over my lemon-shyness... which is probably quite soon and should actually not take that long since it'd not even be the first lemon I've ever written... and not even the first lemon involving two men... but(t) oh well, it's been a while.
Thank you for reading!