Jaely: Yeah, my original timeline got messed up somewhere and I forgot to change it on my outline, which is why there was the continuity issue. Thanks for letting me know so I could change it.
Chapter 18 – Things Are Changing
Rachel threw the freshly washed table cloth onto the kitchen table and stood back, making sure it was straight. She adjusted it, pulling it a little to the right to make it a little more even and then smoothed out a small wrinkle in the center of it. Once she was satisfied with it, she walked to the counter to grab the stack of plates and silverware from where she'd set them after washing and drying them.
"Are you going to be okay tonight?" Kurt asked.
"What do you mean?" Rachel inquired, furrowing her brows.
"Well, Quinn is going to be here," Kurt said as he looked over his shoulder.
"It's not like I haven't been in the same room with her since—you know," Rachel said as she began setting out the plates.
"Since she tried to kiss you," Kurt stated.
"Yes," Rachel replied. "Thank you for reminding me, Kurt."
"I still find it hard to believe," Kurt said. "Although, looking back, it makes sense."
Rachel frowned. "How so?"
"Think about it," Kurt replied. "Quinn had three boyfriends in high school and none were known for their intelligence. She picked guys who were popular and easy to manipulate, but it was obvious that she didn't love any of them. She more or less used them to stay at the top of the food chain. She was much more interested in torturing you than being with them."
Rachel hummed; she'd never really thought about what it was probably like for Quinn back in high school. She could imagine how scared she must have been. If her parents kicked her out for being pregnant, what would they have done if she told them she was gay? It was no excuse for her behavior back then, but Rachel at least felt like she understood it a bit more.
"Is it weird?" Kurt asked. "Knowing she likes you?"
"It is strange, yes," Rachel replied. "It's just a position I never thought I would find myself in. Of course I also never thought I would even be remotely friends with Quinn or Noah or raising Beth."
"It's definitely been an interesting year," Kurt commented.
"I believe that is an understatement," Rachel replied.
"Speaking of Puck and Beth, shouldn't they be back by now?" Kurt asked.
Rachel looked at the clock and realized they had been gone quite a long time. "I'll check my phone; maybe he tried to call."
She walked across the room and into the living room, picking her phone up from the coffee table. She saw that she had several texts and scrolled through them as she walked back into the kitchen.
"Noah says they're going to be a little late," Rachel relayed. "Apparently Beth got him to go into the toy store."
Kurt shook his head. "What was he thinking."
"There's also a text from Quinn," Rachel stated. "She wants to know if we want her to bring anything."
"I wouldn't say no to some wine," Kurt said, smirking.
Rachel rolled her eyes. "Of course you wouldn't.
Rachel sent a quick message to Quinn to let her know that it wasn't necessary to bring anything, leaving out what Kurt had said. Beth was there, after all, and she didn't think it would be very good for her to drink in front of the girl considering she wasn't of legal age yet. Even if Beth would probably not remember it later, Rachel wanted to set a good example.
"So what did she say?" Kurt asked. "When you two finally talked after the almost kiss."
"Why are you so interested in this?" Rachel asked.
Kurt shrugged. "It's more interesting than anything going on in my life at the moment."
"Well, maybe you should start getting out more," Rachel remarked. "You don't have to be here in the evening when you're not working. Go to a club or something. You used to like to do that; why did you stop?"
"It was more fun when we went together," Kurt replied.
"I know, but it's a little hard for us both to go," Rachel said. "I just don't feel right about getting a babysitter."
"I wasn't complaining," Kurt stated. "I wouldn't want to leave Beth here with a babysitter, either. And I like being here in the evening with you two."
"You don't ever get lonely?" Rachel asked.
"Of course I do," Kurt replied. "I would love to find a nice guy who's cute and loves Broadway and liked to stay in on weekends, just the two of us." Kurt smiled and then rolled his eyes. "One who isn't going to cheat on me."
"I'm sure you'll find someone," Rachel said softly. "You just have to keep looking. And it would help if you actually got out of the apartment every once in a while."
"I could say the same for you," Kurt retorted, raising his eyebrow. "Unless you think you've already found that special someone."
"I assure you I have not," Rachel replied.
Kurt shrugged. "You never know."
Before Rachel could say anything else, she heard the door slid open and looked over to find Puck and Beth entering the apartment. The former had something large in his arms and Rachel wondered what the little girl talked him into getting. She knew he didn't have a lot of money to waste on frivolous things and she hoped whatever it was wasn't too expensive.
"What's in the bag?" Kurt asked, coming up beside Rachel.
Puck grinned and pulled out a huge, stuffed unicorn. "She named him Martin."
Rachel shook her head but smiled nonetheless. With as many gifts as she kept getting, they were going to need to find a new apartment just to have a room for all her toys.
"That's probably her now," Rachel said as she stood.
She walked to the door and slid it open to find Quinn with an apologetic smile. It wasn't like the other woman to be late and Rachel had begun to get a little worried. She at least usually texted when she wasn't going to be on time, but she hadn't said a thing—Rachel probably checked her phone a dozen times—and she was supposed to have been there nearly a half hour prior.
"I'm so sorry," Quinn quickly said. "There was a delay with the train and I forgot my stupid phone at home."
"It's quite alright," Rachel assured her. "I'm just glad you're okay. I was a little worried that something may have happened to you."
"Really?" Quinn asked, sounding slightly surprised. "I figured Kurt would just be upset that I delayed dinner."
"Well," Rachel shrugged, "yeah." She laughed. "He's been a little obsessive about it since the moment he began planning it. I, however, was concerned about your wellbeing."
Quinn smiled at her and Rachel ducked her head, wondering if she would ever get used to the blonde looking at her like that. Her looks weren't too overt, but there was a softness that didn't used to be there. For years, all Rachel saw in her eyes was hostility, but there was none of that there anymore.
"Is it her?" Kurt called out.
"Yes!" they yelled in unison.
"We should probably get in there before Kurt drags us to the table," Rachel said with a light laugh.
"Maybe," Quinn replied, smiling.
Together, they walked toward the table, where Kurt was waiting. Puck and Beth were still in the living room if the noises coming from the other room were any indication. They were going to wait until the next day before he began teaching her to play the guitar, but Beth couldn't wait. And Rachel suspected Puck couldn't wait, either. She had never seen him so excited about anything before and she found it sort of endearing.
"Guys, dinner!" Kurt called out.
"I'm sorry, Kurt," Quinn apologized.
"It's not her fault," Rachel stated. "The trains were delayed and she forgot her phone, so she couldn't inform us." Rachel looked at Quinn. "And don't let him make you feel bad; he burned his first batch of rolls, so you really didn't delay dinner as long as you think."
Kurt narrowed his eyes at Rachel for a moment before turning on his heel and walked into the kitchen. He came back with a large pot and set it on the table. When he went back, Rachel went with him to help bring everything out. As she came back with the rolls and some potato dish, she could still hear Beth and Puck in the living room. Sighing, she set the dishes down and went into the other room.
"It's dinnertime," Rachel said, putting her hands on her hips. "You two can finish this after we all sit down and have a nice meal together that Kurt had been slaving away over."
Rachel frowned and shook her head; sometimes it scared her how much she sounded like a parent. At least Puck and Beth listened, though. They both put their guitars down and stood up from the floor. Puck was giving Rachel an amused look and she put her arms down, rolling her eyes.
"It's kinda funny seeing you like this," Puck said. "It's kinda hot, actually."
Rachel swatted at his side, but he jumped out of the way and laughed as he walked to the table. She followed him, shaking her head, and looked up to find Quinn watching her.
"Alright, let's sit," Kurt said, clapping his hands together.
"Don't have to tell me twice," Puck said, taking his seat.
"I believe we did, actually," Kurt stated.
"It smells wonderful," Quinn complimented.
"Totally," Puck agreed.
Rachel took a seat at the end of the table after Beth sat down near Kurt and Puck. The latter was the first to grab the nearest dish to him and then everyone proceeded to load their plates with food. Kurt had fixed a mixture of food, both vegan and containing meat, and everything looked wonderful. She was glad her best friend was such a good cook because she certainly couldn't have made this meal without burning far more than just the rolls.
"So, how did dance class go on Friday?" Quinn asked.
"It went very well," Rachel replied. "Didn't it?"
Beth shrugged, but didn't say anything. She had been excited at the time, though, so Rachel knew Beth felt like she did well in class the other day. It had been nice to see her like that and Rachel hoped she continued to get excited about things. It was slow going, but Rachel definitely felt like the little girl was coming out of her shell more and more. She just wished they could get her to talk more.
"This is really good," Puck said through a mouthful of food.
"She had a small routine to do in class," Rachel added. "She did very well."
"Much better than a certain other woman's kid," Kurt inserted.
Kurt and Rachel smirked at each other. Sheila's child couldn't seem to remember half the dance, whereas Beth had the thing memorized perfectly. They had both been very proud of her, and it was just a bonus that she did so much better than Sheila's kid. The woman obviously hadn't been happy about it, either, giving Rachel and Kurt a dirty look at the end of class, but that was really nothing out of the ordinary. Rachel was convinced her face was permanently in a state of disapproval or condescension.
"I wish I could have been there," Quinn commented.
Rachel looked down; she didn't know why she didn't think to invite Quinn. She should have known it would be something she would have liked to have seen, but it didn't cross her mind at the time. She guessed she just wasn't used to having the blonde in her life, and she still sometimes forgot that they were sort of friends now.
"I'll be sure to let you know the next time," Rachel swore.
Quinn locked eyes with her for a moment and then nodded, and Rachel promised herself that she wouldn't forget next time
"Someone's sleepy," Kurt said as the movie credits began to roll.
Rachel looked over to find Beth sleeping on his knee. Even though it was fairly late, they'd let her stay up to watch the movie with them, but she clearly didn't make it. Rachel laughed lightly and wondered if she even made it past the opening scene.
"I'll put her to bed," Kurt said.
"I'll help," Puck said, reaching out, and scooping Beth up in his arms.
She barely stirred as he stood up, but she did snuggle into his chest a little bit. Kurt stood as well, stretching and yawning, and then followed Puck into Beth's room. She wondered if the little girl would wake up—she usually demanded a bedtime story or sometimes for them to sing a song—or if it would be quick tonight. Before, every time they thought they were going to get her into bed without much fanfare, she would wake up just as they were about to leave. But Rachel usually didn't mind; she kind of liked reading fairytales to Beth that her fathers read to her as a child and she never said no to a performance, especially not when it was at someone's request.
"I think I'll get a start on the dishes," Rachel said to Quinn as she stood, smoothing her skirt out.
"Let me help you," Quinn said.
"No, no," Rachel said holding her hands up to stop Quinn from getting up. "You're our guest; just relax and I'm sure Noah and Kurt will be out in a moment.
Quinn laughed and stood anyway. Rachel didn't put her hands down fast enough and found herself touching Quinn's arms. As if she'd been shocked by it, she quickly removed her hands and clasped them together. She couldn't tell if the look on Quinn's face was amusement or confusion, but Rachel smiled, acting as if nothing just happened.
"Let me help," Quinn repeated. "You shouldn't have to do them all and Kurt certainly shouldn't have to do them. If it makes you feel any better, I'll dry; it's the easy part."
"Alright," Rachel relented.
"I feel like we should all do this more often," Rachel commented as they walked to the kitchen together. "I'm sure Kurt would love it; he complains about how it's hard work, but I know he loves hosting dinner parties. We could invite a few friends from work and maybe we could even invite your roommate sometime."
"I don't think you want to do that," Quinn stated.
"Why not?" Rachel asked.
"I don't think you'd get along very well with her," Quinn replied. "She's not exactly nice, and I doubt she would come anyway. Trust me, you're better off not knowing her."
Rachel frowned. "Why do you continue to live with her if she's so terrible?"
"Because this is New York and she always pays her share of the rent," Quinn said with a shrug. "Plus, she leaves me alone for the most part, and I'm sort of used to her by now. I would just rather not inflict her on anyone else if I can help it."
"Well, maybe a friend from work or school, then," Rachel said.
"Maybe," Quinn replied.
"Why do you never talk about your life?" Rachel hesitantly asked as she handed Quinn a towel to dry with.
"I guess there isn't a lot to say," Quinn replied, and Rachel gave her a disbelieving look. "I'm serious; I don't really get out a lot."
"I find that hard to believe," Rachel remarked.
"Well, don't," Quinn said. "There are a couple people I talk to that I've had several classes with, but we're not really friends. Most of my evenings are spent inside. I occasionally go out with my roommate when she drags me to a club or something, but that's about it. I really don't have many friends here, but that's nothing new."
Rachel scoffed. "You had plenty of friends in high school. More than me, at least."
"I had two friends in high school, if you can even call Santana a friend," Quinn argued. "I may have talked to quite a few people, but it's hard to have friends when you're so afraid all the time. I couldn't let anyone get close because I was afraid I would slip up and say too much to someone. Believe me, it's just as lonely at the top as it is the bottom, and at least you had one really good friend. I'm not saying I didn't have it easier than you—just that I probably didn't have it as great as you may think."
They fell silent as Rachel began filling the sink with water. She didn't understand why someone like Quinn—and certainly not the way she was now—wouldn't have a lot of friends. Rachel was fully aware that her own personality tended to rub people the wrong way, but people had always flocked to Quinn. She was sure there were hundreds of people at McKinley High that would've practically killed to be friends with Quinn Fabray and she very much doubted that had changed.
"Are we friends?" Rachel asked before she could stop herself.
Quinn laughed lightly. "I think so, yes."
"It's funny—I spent years during high school trying to be your friend only for my attempts to be shot down," Rachel said. "Not only shot down, but usually thrown back in my face."
Quinn sighed. "You have no idea how sorry I am now. I was a complete bitch back then and you deserved none of it."
"It's not my intention to make you feel badly about it, but I do appreciate the apology," Rachel replied. "I'm simply saying that it's funny how things work out. Sometimes things happen when you least expect them. I certainly never thought I would see you after high school let alone become friends with you one day."
"Yeah," Quinn said softly as she looked at Rachel. "It's funny how things work out."
Rachel looked at Quinn and the two stared at each other. For a moment, she thought the blonde was going to try to kiss her again, but then Quinn looked away. Rachel furrowed her brows when she realized she was actually disappointed. It's not that she necessarily wanted Quinn to kiss her, but for the first time in a long time, she wondered what it might feel like.
It was after three in the morning, but Rachel was still lying in bed with her eyes wide open. She had to get up to go to work in only a few hours, but she couldn't seem to turn her mind off long enough to fall asleep. The evening had been a success, but it was also a thought-provoking night for Rachel. She had begun to realize how much she actually enjoyed spending time with Quinn and then there was that little moment in the kitchen. She didn't want Quinn to kiss her and she would never have kissed Quinn, but she realized she also wouldn't have turned away that time.
She had no idea what she felt for Quinn; she was still wary of her, but she started accepting the fact that they were friends now. Maybe not your typical friends, but friends nevertheless. It was just difficult to get over their history, which often made it hard for Rachel to relax around the other woman. She knew it had been two years and Quinn was a different person now, but it just wasn't that easy to get over. It was an ongoing thing for several years that made Rachel dread every single day she had to go to school. She never knew what terrible thing was going to happen and it was almost solely thanks to Quinn.
Sighing, Rachel threw the covers off of her body and sat up. She knew she wasn't going to fall asleep anytime soon, but she hoped maybe some tea would help her relax. It couldn't hurt, anyway. She'd been lying there for hours and hadn't come close to drifting off.
Since Puck was sleeping on the couch, she tried to be as quiet as possible as she crept through the apartment. Luckily, she knew the place well enough to be able to get around without turning the light on, but she did have to turn one of the kitchen lights on. If she didn't, she knew she would probably make a racket trying to find the kettle.
"Hey."
Rachel sighed. "I thought I was being so quiet."
Puck laughed. "It's cool; I was barely asleep."
Rachel turned around with the kettle in her hand. "Would you like some tea? I'm hoping it'll help me sleep."
"Nah," Puck said, running his hand over his face. "Why can't you sleep?"
Rachel sighed again. "Many reasons, but mostly because I can't stop thinking long enough to relax."
"Is it about Beth?" Puck asked, looking a little concerned.
"No, nothing like that," Rachel hastily replied. "It's—well, it's about Quinn."
"What about her?" Puck asked.
Rachel didn't know what to say. She knew Puck and Quinn were in touch, but she didn't exactly know how much they talked about. The last thing she wanted to do was betray Quinn's confidence by revealing too much. This was Puck after all; he wasn't known for being the most tactful person.
"It's complicated," Rachel finally answered.
"Because you're raising her kid or because she has the hots for you?" Puck asked.
Rachel gawked at him for a moment before saying, "Well, that answers that."
"Q told me," Puck stated. "She was freaking out after she tried to kiss you and sorta told me everything. She thought you were gonna hate her and not let her see Beth anymore, but I told her you wouldn't do that."
Rachel abandoned trying to make tea and walked over to the table, where Puck had already sat down. "She was really that worried?"
"Yeah," Puck replied. "It's one of the only times I've heard her cry."
"I didn't know," Rachel said, feeling terrible about it.
"Gotta say I was a surprised," Puck remarked. "But it sorta makes sense."
"Really? Because it still doesn't make sense to me," Rachel said, shaking her head.
"Even when she was with me, she wasn't really with me, you know?" Puck replied. "I knew she didn't have feelings for me. It sucked and no matter how hard I tried, it changed nothing." Puck shrugged. "I can tell that she really likes you, though."
"Really?" Rachel asked.
"It's obvious," Puck replied. "She's changed since you two started hanging. She's Quinn, but, like, happier or something. Just—try not to hurt her too bad."
"What makes you think I'm going to hurt her?" Rachel indignantly asked.
"You don't like her like she likes you." Puck shrugged. "I know how much that sucks."
"It is not my intention to hurt her," Rachel replied. "I-I just don't know what I feel for her. Everything's so muddled because of our past and I have Beth to think about. I don't want to do anything that could possibly upend her life again and getting involved with her biological mother feels like it could certainly do that. Please don't tell Quinn I told you this. I need to figure everything out on my own first; I wouldn't want to give her false hope."
"So you might like her?" Puck asked.
"Maybe," Rachel replied, shaking her head. "I don't know. It's hard reconciling the two Quinns I've known. I still think of all the things she's done to me, but then there's this Quinn who is nice and I actually enjoy being around. It's just very confusing."
"Maybe you should forget about all that shit in the past," Puck said.
Rachel sighed. "That's easier said than done; I've tried, but it doesn't work."
"Then maybe you shouldn't forget, but just think of it like it was a different person," Puck suggested.
Rachel knew Puck was trying, but she also knew it wouldn't work. She appreciated that he was trying to help, but this was just something she was going to have to figure out on her own.
Okay, if you've been following me on tumblr or twitter, you know I'm taking a break. Next week's chapter will still be up since it's been written for a while, but then after that, I won't be posting until sometime in January. I've been writing nonstop for the past year and I just need some time to have a bit of a life and not worry about writing all the time. So, if you want to know when I'll post again, keep an eye on my tumblr; I'll let everyone know on there as soon as I know.