BioWare owns all but my character's and her dog's names. : )
Thanks so much for your support, reviews, putting me on favorites. Please continue to tell me what you think, your feedback means a lot. And I am again sorry at the delay in chapters, darn that working for a living thing. : ) You are all the best.
What do you do when you have a man who is interested in more than you can give? Well, Kai finds a possible solution, or has she? And what happens when you confess to your closest female friends you have been talking to your dead lover all along? And let's just say a certain favorite ex-Crow we all know and love gets himself into trouble. Or is it that he never finds trouble, because it always knows right where he is? I hope you all continue to enjoy! : )
Blessings!
Winter had come in with a howl and a flurry following Zev in from the Waking Sea, settling in on the twins' birth, and it was but one of many such storms that would keep them bound to the hunting lodge until almost all of the month of the Moon of Snow's Flowers had gone. It was both a blessing and a curse. It gave Kai and her extended family plenty of time with the new arrivals. Giving her, in particular, a chance to play "mommy" and bond with her little ones, plus, Anora could do no mischief with all the snow. But the other side of that blade, the weather also meant Kai and her cohorts could do nothing to help the people of Ferelden by playing the Silver Griffon. So, they tried to make the best of the situation and enjoy each other's' company. They were able to forget, for a time, the dangerous world outside.
Kai put her time indoors to good use, getting back into shape by learning Zev's Antivan Crow skills and even Leliana's bard skills. She had plenty of time to hone her rogue skills and limber up her body again by teaching Zev the unarmed martial arts style she learned from a follower of the Qun who had visited Highever once. That and breastfeeding two babies with appetites like Alistair's made her almost as thin as she had been when she was in a coma for two weeks. This situation made Wynne nag at her to eat more, which was something that secretly pleased the mage.
Zev had made these training sessions of utmost importance, as she was the head of the growing new group of spies and assassins for Ferelden called "The Scath," which meant "shadows" or "shades." The group was meant to be spies like the bards of Orlais rather than killers like the Crows. Not that the bards were squeamish about killing, but the Crows were almost nothing but assassins. Zev had said that both talents were necessary, so he and Leliana trained the Scath recruits together, including those volunteers at the lodge who were stuck in the snow with them. Her title, as the leader, was Scathach, or "The Shadowy One." When Zevran had proposed this, she had laughed and teased him that it was quite literary and poetic, and he had no reason to say she was the only one who ever read too much.
Some of the Scath had infiltrated the castle at Denerim as servants before the big storm, and its subsequent smaller sisters, had hit. Of course, they had had no word from these Scath, nor had they been able to get any word to them. So when the first Snowdrops thrust their green shoots through the snow, they knew that Spring was on its way.
When the weather had stayed sunny for a week with no overcast days, Zev had taken off for Denerim once again to check on the Scaths there.
The rest of them moved from the hunting lodge to Redcliffe. There they put Kai and the twins in Connor's old room, and Isolde even pulled out some of his old baby clothes, nappies, and toys. Staying at Redcliffe brought back all sorts of memories for Kai, including her last night making love with Alistair here before they had marched on Denerim to slay the Archdemon. Now that she thought of it, it was probably the night the twins were conceived. It was a painful place for her, and so she spent most of her time in the village, walking around with the twins, now three months old. The exception was "mommy's day off," which gave Kai a little time out from being a mother. Kai protested this at first, but Wynne had said such time away was necessary. Truthfully, Kai had found it did help her keep her perspective when the twins woke her in the night.
This particular day, Teagan was visiting, as he seemed to do more and more lately. Kai really was going to have to find a way to let the man down easily, if she could, she had no desire to hurt him. He was a handsome man and a good man, and at times she was tempted. It was hard only seeing Alistair in the Fade, in her dreams, it wasn't that dream sex wasn't wonderful, but it always left her real body achy when she was back on this plane. Teagan would make a good father, but he deserved more. He would expect to have someone who could give of themselves as he would give of himself, completely. Kai knew that wasn't possible for her, unfortunately, her reticence didn't seem to stop Teagan from trying.
They were walking around the lake together in companionable silence. Kai had stopped to watch the wind waking waves across the water. "Kai," She sensed Teagan turning towards her, she thought to say something more but instead she found his hand cupping her cheek as he bent forward to place his lips on hers. She had a momentary sense of panic, when bless the Maker, they were interrupted by a female voice.
"My lady, Warden," A pretty young blonde woman was calling to her. Teagan dropped his hand as if it were on fire and jumped guiltily. Kai just looked down a moment, trying not to let Teagan see her relief.
The young woman looked familiar though it took her a moment to recognize her, it was Kaitlyn. Kai had looked for her little brother Bevin the day before one of the nightly attacks of undead on the village. She had found Bevin hiding in the closet in their home. He had wanted to use the family sword and fight, to be brave, but it was too big for him. Kai had convinced him to go back to Kaitlyn, and he had given her the key to a chest to fetch the sword. It was a fine blade, and Kai had paid Kaitlyn for it. She had thought Kaitlyn left Redcliffe to go to family in the city.
"Kaitlyn, how are you? I thought you had gone to Denerim", Kai hugged the young woman.
"I was going to, my lady, but Redcliffe is our home. Once you killed off the darkspawn, Bevin and I came back. We opened up a refinery here with the money you gave us. And because of you, we are now helping those in need under Anora's rule. I could do no less to honor your example," Kaitlyn beamed at her.
"Kai is quite the influence on us all it seems", Teagan flashed a smile at Kai, before turning to Kaitlyn. "You look familiar, my lady, have we met?" Kaitlyn's eyes got very bright and she blushed, her cheeks getting more pink than the chill wind would account for.
"My brother and I were in the Chantry under your brave keeping, ser, when Redcliffe was being attacked." Kaitlyn held out her hand, and Teagan took it and brushed his lips over it. Kai noticed Kaitlyn blushed even more, and she seemed to be breathing faster.
"It seems, Ban Teagan, I am not the only one to make an impression." Kai smiled at Kaitlyn, who looked down at her toes.
"Ban Teagan was so brave and comforting in such a frightening time. Just seeing him there watching out for us made us feel safe when all the fighting was going on outside." Teagan blushed and looked flattered and embarrassed.
"I assure you, dear lady, it is Kai who deserves all your praise." Teagan looked to Kai again, but she was not letting him off the hook, t was perfectly obvious that Kaitlyn was enamored of Teagan. Kai felt a little together time with Kaitlyn was just what he needed.
"Teagan is far too modest. Why don't you come for supper at the castle tonight and bring Bevin?" Kai gave Kaitlyn a smile while plotting in her head to get Leliana to help her play matchmaker.
"I would love that, and Bevvie would too," Kaitlyn stammered while looking at Teagan with unabashed adoration. Teagan smiled at Kaitlyn while Kai shot them a sideways glance.
"Perfect, come when the bells of the chantry ring five times. We shall have extra places set." Kai found herself almost being ignored as Kaitlyn looked at Teagan smiling.
"My lady, I look forward to it." Teagan again brushed Kaitlyn's hand with his lips before the poor blushing girl walked away, looking over her shoulder periodically.
"Well, we had better get to the castle to warn the cook that there will be two more for supper." Kai felt a small glow of satisfaction which was short lived, as Teagan turned her around and crushed his lips to hers. A small spurt of need rushed through her, but it was other lips she longed to have. He gently let go of her, then stepped back and offered her his arm. Oh, boy was all her mind could come up with. This might not be as easy as I thought it was going to be, Kai huffed to herself as they walked back to the castle.
When they arrived, Kai asked Teagan to tell the cook about their impending guests, all the while making desperate hand motions at Leliana. Blessings of Andraste, the motions were not caught by Oghren who would have made some embarrassing comment about them, drawing Teagan's attention to her actions.
Luckily, Oghren was playing a dwarven game that involved a board with little divots in it where players jumped little round rocks over the others to capture pieces and try and get to the other side of the board before their opponent did. Oghren had been trying to teach Sten and Shale the game. Shale kept trying to say the boulders should smash each other and had to be reminded not to crush the pieces between her fingers when she captured them.
The giant Qunari was sitting across from Oghren holding Fiona as her little face kept alternating between mimicking the giant's serious features and gurgling coos at him while smiling. Sten kept tickling her tummy with a bronzed finger. He looked more interested in the baby than the game. Kai was reminded of the time when Leliana had caught Sten dangling a string for a kitten.
"I knew it, Sten is a big old feather pillow on the inside!" Alistair's voice crowed with glee in her ear.
Luckily, Leliana caught Kai's frantic motions; so did Wynne who was reading to Duncan as he sat on Morrigan's lap. All three women had looked up when Duncan's eyes lit on his mother. They must have thought she had seen an archdemon, the way their faces all registered concern. Teagan, who had been looking at her hopefully and longingly, finally left to go tell the cook of their guests.
Wynne moved to say something to Sten, nodding towards Kai and taking Fiona out of his lap, she walked towards Kai with Leli and Morrigan following, still holding Duncan. Kai waited until they had all returned to her room and shut the door before she started pacing back and forth running her fingers through her hair.
"Whatever is the matter with you, child?" Wynne asked as she took a squirming Duncan from Morrigan. "You look like hordes of darkspawn are on your tail."
Kai stopped pacing and looked at the three women before her. "Teagan kissed me!" Kai started pacing again.
"Oh, how wonderful," Leliana smiled.
"No, Leli, it isn't wonderful, it is awful," Kai shot back.
"Why ever would you say that, child?" Wynne looked at her with confusion. "It is about time, and he is a good man, and if he likes you...," Wynne let that trail off.
"It just isn't a good thing, Wynne, trust me. I...I can't be with Teagan." Kai felt even more horrified. She looked desperately at Morrigan.
"She can't be with Teagan because she still has Alistair," Morrigan stated calmly while keeping her golden eyes focused on Kai. Her pronouncement caused Leli and Wynne to looked at Morrigan as if she had grown another head.
Finally, it was Wynne who broke the silence, "What do you mean, she still has Alistair?" Wynne looked at the witch, raising an eyebrow. Morrigan's gaze never wavered from Kai's.
"She means I can talk to him, and I have been doing so since the day after the battle on top of Fort Drakon." Kai felt tears rolling down her cheeks. It was the squall of a hungry Fiona, who started her sibling crying as well, that broke the shocked silence in the room. Kai felt her body responding to their cries for food, so she immediately piled up pillows and sat on the bed. She fetched the two blankets rolled to support them as they fed from nearby. Wynne, obviously disturbed by the news, busied herself putting the twins in place. When they had been settled, she turned and grabbed a chair to sit facing Kai. Morrigan walked over and laid herself next to Kai on the bed, giving her support.
"I think you have some explaining to do, young lady." Wynne's voice was neutral like a mother who wants to yell at her child, but refrains from doing so only with extreme self-control.
"Uh oh, somebody's in trouble." Alistair's tone was like a little boy making fun of a sibling. Kai, whose body responded to feeding the twins by washing her in calm, did a mental smile. "Just don't mention how you jumped me. I know how you and Wynne like to make me blush," he admonished her. Kai wanted to laugh.
Kai found herself explaining about hearing him after she woke up, how close she came to being lost at the funeral and how it was his voice that had saved her. She told them of her visit to the Fade and all that had happened there, and how Andraste had told her of their two souls being made from one, that she had agreed to leave him only to save Ferelden once again and to give birth to their children.
It was here that Morrigan broke in, telling Wynne and Leli of Alistair's visiting her in the Fade in her dreams, that he had known what Kai knew, he knew she intended to use the dagger to save the babes and sacrifice herself. And because of Alistair she'd known to come to Kai's side and do what she did. Morrigan looked at Kai and stroked her cheek. "So you see, she cannot be with Teagan, it would be unfair to the man."
"Well, that does answer some questions I had about your turning up when you did, Morrigan. It seemed very fortuitous. As to Alistair, you tell him thank you for saving you at the funeral. I wouldn't have wanted another Aneirin on my record. But why couldn't you tell us, young lady?" Wynne's voice sounded hurt.
"Oh, Wynne, Leli, I thought I might have been going mad. I didn't feel crazy, at least not crazy crazy, just crazy with grief. I wanted to hear him. I needed to hear him. It was the only thing that kept me going after his death. I felt as if my soul had been ripped in two." Kai pleaded with her to understand, tears of remorse falling down her cheeks. "And according to Andraste in the Fade, it had been." Kai looked down at her nursing children, Alistair's children. They were falling asleep, their little cheeks stopping then starting again as they woke briefly to suckle a little more.
"Oh Kai, of course you had to do what you did! This will make a wonderful ballad. A knight who sacrifices himself to save his lady love, and yet their love survives death! I can't wait to start writing it!" Leli just grinned at her, causing Morrigan to roll her eyes.
Wynne got up from her chair and stroked Kai's hair before taking one sleeping twin and then the other, placing them on the bed between Kai and Morrigan."I understand, I would have done the same thing in your shoes. And I understand why you have been reluctant to return Teagan's affections. What can we do to help?" Wynne smiled at her.