Chapter 23

My eyes open, and I find Haymitch sitting on the side of my bed staring at me.

"Hey kid," he says.

"Hello Haymitch," I say.

"Listen-" Haymitch begins.

"Is Katniss okay?" I ask.

Haymitch lets out a breath. "Last time I checked, she's fine, but, there's something I have to tell you." I look at him. "They had to take off your leg, kid."

I sit up, eyes wide. I find the metal attached to my flesh.

"You may need some practice on it." he says and stands up. "I'm gonna check on sweetheart." and he leaves the room, shutting the door behind him.

I slowly get up. Haymitch did say I needed practice. Once I'm standing, I try taking I step, but lose my balance. I grab the hospital bed to keep me up.

I let out an annoyed breath and lay back on the bed. I'll have plenty of time to learn how to walk on my new leg. Katniss is fine, she was in better health than I was, after the Games. I smile and think about what my life with Katniss will include. I just can't believe I got the girl I love to love me back. I fall asleep.

Days go by, and I learn how to walk on my leg. But I need a cane right now, to help me balance.

Portia helps me get ready for a televised event with Caesar Flickerman. I'm getting anxious to see Katniss again. I'd gotten used to her being at my side at all times.

I rise onto the stage after reuniting with Effie. I find Katniss in a yellow dress. I've missed her soo much. Katniss takes a few steps toward me and then, flings herself at me. I almost lose my balance. I hold her tight and lean in to kiss her. Caesar taps my shoulder, and I push him away. I missed her.

Haymitch stops us and shoves us toward the Victor's chair. Katniss laughs. Once we're seated, Katniss leans her head on my shoulder and I wrap my arm around her.

We watch all the important parts of The Hunger Games. Then, President Snow comes out, followed by a little girl carrying a crown. He gives it a twist, and the crown splits in half. He puts on half on each of our heads. Then we're taken to the President's mansion for the Victory Banquet. Then we go to bed.

In the morning, we are taken to the sitting room, where our interview will take place. I never thought I'd get interviewed as victor. I pull Katniss to the side before the interview starts.

"I hardly get to see you. Haymitch seems bent on keeping us apart." I say.

"Yes, he's gotten very responsible lately." she says.

I nod, frustrated. "Well, there's just this and we go home. Then he can't watch us all the time."

We sit on the love seat.

"Oh, go ahead and curl up next to him if you want. It looked very sweet." says Caesar. So I pull Katniss closer to me. The cameras starts. Eventually, Caesar asks something that interests me.

"Well, Peeta, we know, from our days in that cave, that it was love at first sight from what, age five?" Caesar asks.

I smile. "From the moment I laid eyes on her." I say.

"But, Katniss, what a ride for you. I think the real excitement for the audience was watching you fall for him. When did you realize you were in love with him?" Caesar asks.

"Oh, that's a hard one..." says Katniss.

"Well, I know when it hit me. The night when you shouted out his name from that tree." says Caesar.

Katniss nods. "Yes, I guess that was it. I mean until that point, I just tired not to think about what my feelings might me, honestly, because it was so confusing and it only made things worse if I actually cared about him. But then, in the tree, everything changed." says Katniss, and I smile.

"Why do you think that was?" Caesar asks.

"Maybe... because for the first time... there was a chance I could keep him." she says.

I grin. "So now that you've got me, what are you going to do with me?"

Katniss turns to face me. "Put you somewhere you can't get hurt." she says. I kiss her.

Then, Caesar talks about all the ways we got hurt in the arena. Eventually, he brings up the mutts. "Now, Peeta, do tell me how your new leg is working out."

"New leg?" Katniss asks, reaching out and pulling up the bottom of my pants, so she can see the metal. "Oh, no," she whispers.

"No one told you?" Caesar asks and Katniss shakes her head.

"I haven't had the chance," I say shrugging.

Katniss lets out a breath. "It's my fault. Because I used the tourniquet."

"Yes, it's your fault I'm alive," I say.

"He's right," says Caesar. "He'd have bled to death for sure without it."

Katniss stays quiet. The next time Caesar asks Katniss a question, it's about the berries.

"Katniss, I know you've had a shock, but I've got to ask. The moment when you pulled out those berries, what was going on in your mind... hm?"

"I don't know, I just... couldn't bear the thought of... being without him." she says.

"Peeta? Anything to add?" Caesar asks.

I shake my head. "No. I think that goes for both of us,"

The interview ends, and we get on the train.

Katniss goes to change her cloths. She comes back in a plain shirt and some pants, and she looks more herself then she has in the Capitol. I wrap my arm around her shoulder. Once the train stops for fuel, were aloud to go outside for fresh air. Katniss and I walk hand in hand and I gather some flowers for her. She takes them but stays silent.

"What's wrong?" I ask.

"Nothing," she says and we keep walking.

Haymitch lays a hand on both of our backs, and Katniss jumps. "Great job, you two." he says. "Just keep it up in the district until the cameras are gone. We should be okay." Haymitch walks back to the train.

I look at Katniss. "What's he mean?"

Katniss lets out a breath. "It's the Capitol. They didn't like out stunt with the berries." she says.

"What? What are you talking about?" I ask.

"It seemed too rebellious. So, Haymitch has been coaching me through the last few days. So I don't make it worse." she says.

"Coaching you? But not me," I say, getting angry.

"He knew you were smart enough to get it right," she says.

"I didn't know there was anything to get right." I say.

"So, what your saying is, these last few days and then I guess... back in the arena... that was just some strategy you two worked out." I say through greeted teeth.

"No. I mean, I couldn't even talk to him in the arena, could I?" she says.

"But you knew what he wanted you to do, didn't you?" I ask. Katniss bites her lip. "Katniss?" I drop her hand. She takes a step back.

"It was all for the Games, how you acted." I say.

"Not all of it," she says.

"Then how much? No forget that. I guess the real question is what's going to be left when we get back home?" I say.

"I don't know," she says. "The closer we get to District Twelve, the more confused I get," she says. I wait for her to continue speaking, but she doesn't.

"Well let me know when you work it out." I say trying not to let my pain show. I walk away, leaving her behind as a board the train. I go straight to my room.

It was all for the Games. All my hope was fake, we don't, and never will have a future together. I'd be lucky if we were friends.

I close my eyes and try not to think about those silver eyes, or how the birds stop to listen. Katniss has become part of a Game. But I don't want to play. I still love her. I'll still do everything I can to protect her, but I'm just about done playing this Game.