Chapter Seven

Ender has seen his father nervous quite a few times but never to the same extent as when Ender stands with his bags near the shuttlecraft heading for San Francisco. He keeps one hand constantly on his engagement ring and he keeps closing his eyes and taking deep breaths. Ender's sixteen and not as young as his father was when he was in the same position but Pavel still sees parts of himself in his son. He's scared for him, happy for him and mildly anxious.

"Dad," Ender says gently. Pavel looks up. "I'll be fine. You'll be fine."

"Yeah, ah, I'm sorry. I'm just…" He doesn't finish the sentence but Ender understands. "I'm going to miss you. Please keep in contact. Don't forget me, okay?"

"I would never forget you," Ender says honestly.

A commanding officer calls everyone to start boarding the shuttle and Ender smiles at his father.

"I'll see you again soon. And I will message you, I promise."

Pavel smiles and hugs his son. They haven't been perfect since Ciara disappeared again. They've been better but not perfect. Pavel has his hands on his son's shoulder and he smiles one last time. "Be good, okay." Ender nods. He moves away from his father and turns around just before getting into the shuttle craft. He waves and Pavel waves back, smiling warmly at his son, who is now on his own adventure.

Three days after Ender leaves for the academy, Pavel is set to return back to space. Scotty's the only one who knows and he's promised to keep it a secret from the bridge crew. He's most excited to meet Sulu and his daughter. He gets beamed up and his mouth hurts from grinning within seconds of returning to the Enterprise. He wraps his arms around Scotty and laughs happily, glad to finally be back home. It feels a little weird without Ender, but he figures he'll be back soon enough. Scotty comms Kirk and tells him he better come down to the transport bay. Kirk seems concerned until he spots Pavel. He breaks out in a massive grin and wraps his arms around Pavel, rustling a hand through his curly hair. Kirk looks a lot older and so does Scotty the more Pavel thinks about it. He wonders if he looks any older. He feels a lot older, a lot more mature too.

Sulu is in his quarters when Pavel returns. He knocks gently at his door and hears some shuffling around before it opens.

"Pavel?! Pavel! Oh my God, Pavel!"

Sulu nearly knocks Pavel to the floor in a bone-crushing hug. The Russian grins and can feel his eyes welling up with tears. He hasn't felt this content in a long while and he has to wipe some happy tears from his eyes. Sulu does the same and pulls him inside, introducing him to Demora. Ben's still working and Pavel promises to catch up with him later on. He doesn't have many other people to visit. He has McCoy but Spock and Uhura settled down just after Pavel moved away with Ender. McCoy seems happy to see Pavel as well. He rolls his eyes sarcastically, what Pavel considers as a friendly gesture from the doctor. McCoy has remarried, something which Pavel didn't expect. Pavel shakes his hand and pulls him into a hug. The doctor's honestly happy to see Pavel again, he had a feeling he would. Pavel belongs in space and he belongs in amongst the crew.

Pavel spends a while in the rec room with Sulu and Kirk, updating them on everything. He tells them about coming to Starfleet with Ender and how everything seemed to smooth over after that. He tells them about Ender going into xenolinguistics and even though it's not navigating he couldn't be prouder or happier. Pavel misses his son but he feels fulfilled and ridiculously happy. One part of him wonders if it will last.

Kirk gives Pavel a smaller room than he had before, which makes sense considering it was him and Ender back then. Pavel doesn't mind. He knows he won't have a roommate either, which is also fine. He feels less alone despite not having Ender. He sends him a few messages and lies down on his bed, looking at the ceiling. He smiles a little, feeling like he floating, which he technically is. He closes his eyes and breathes slowly. The soft blankets and pillows seem so much better than he remembered. He feels himself falling asleep and he's still in his uniform but he doesn't care, he's never been happier.

Ciara appears in Pavel's dream, which is something he kind of expected. She dances with him, something Pavel loves beyond explanation. She tells him she's happy and that they'll meet again someday. Pavel has a feeling it's the last time they'll see one another in this life. She holds him gently and looks deeply into his eyes.

"I want you to find someone Pavel, I want you to be happy too."

Pavel smiles but doesn't say anything, he can't in his dream but he doesn't need to. He wakes up feeling a little different. He can't explain it either. He likes it though, he figures.

Back at his console, Pavel feels king. Like the universe is at his hands again and with Sulu beside him, he feels unstoppable again. He gives a gentle smile to his pilot, hoping that he's thinking the same thing. Sulu's glad to have his best friend by his side. The bridge really wasn't the same without him, as clichéd as it sounds. Kirk breaks out into a grin when Pavel calls out 'captain on the bridge!' Sulu can't help but smile either. There's something pure about Chekov that he's always liked. He thinks his enthusiasm is a part of it.

Ender keeps his promise to stay in contact with his father. He ended things with Nadie a while before starting Starfleet, something Pavel was a little disappointed about. They broke up after Ender finding out about Starfleet. Neither of them were interested in long distance, something Pavel can understand. There are a lot of nice girls at the Academy, Ender mentions. None of whom are quite his age but he figures he's too busy for a girlfriend anyway. Pavel's glad his son is busy and doing something he loves. He tries not to get too nostalgic about his academy days. He knows his son will enjoy Starfleet as much as he did and he tries not to consider what would happen if he ended up on a different ship.

Pavel spends a lot of time down in engineering and tells Scotty about working as a maintenance worker and spending all his time fixing escalators and deep fryers. Scotty scoffs at the thought, telling Pavel that any engineer under his guidance would be capable of much greater things. Pavel rolls his eyes but doesn't disagree. Scotty talks about working in maintenance part time in middle school, fixing automatic doors and comm systems. Pavel didn't work until Starfleet but kind of wishes he had. He was probably busy enough without working but some disposable income would have been nice, he figures. He helps Scotty lift a wall panel back into place and holds it while he drills it back into the wall.

For a reason he isn't entirely sure of, Pavel ends up telling Scotty about the dream with his Ciara and her encounter with Ender. Scotty wants to introduce him to a few women in engineering but Pavel declines. He makes a joke about probably not having talked to another girl since Ciara and Scotty looks at him as though it's not at all untrue. Pavel hopes Scotty thinks nothing more of it until the next time he's in engineering when Scotty pairs him to fix a shuttle craft with a woman his age. He shoots Scotty his 'I know what you're up to' look but the Scotsman just grins back at him.

The woman Pavel works with seems nice but Pavel finds it a little hard to talk to her. It's not her fault, she's kind and responsive and converses well but Pavel finds himself too shy to say much. He tries to talk with her but it just feels strange for him talking to another woman. He tries to think about how he went about talking to Ciara but the thing is, he didn't have any kind of method. Talking to her was like breathing or walking or mathematics, an effortless second nature. He just knew how to talk to her and it was never as forced as Pavel feels trying to communicate in engineering. He finishes the shuttle with her and tells Scotty he's leaving early. Scotty knows he's just leaving before he can be introduced to anyone else.

Pavel finds himself lingering a lot on the woman in engineering. Not so much the woman herself but how he handled the situation. One part of him keeps saying he's not going to find anyone but he can't help but hope. He likes the idea of falling in love again. A lot. He wants to try again but he just feels a little uneasy. He hopes it'll pass once he actually starts talking to people more again.

After a few more attempts to talk to the woman in engineering, Pavel concludes he's getting slowly better. Slowly being the operative term. He tries again with a different woman later in a rec room and it goes a bit more smoothly. He isn't trying to flirt with her and he's firm in the belief that he'll know as soon as he meets the right woman. He talks about a few physics theories and politics with the woman in the rec room and it's nice. Just friendly and easy. She's alien somehow but Pavel has no idea which species. She's intelligent though and has an amazing understanding of the universe. He admires that in people, open-mindedness. He figures that why he liked Sulu so much. He just seemed open to any kinds of ideas and at the time that was exactly what Pavel needed.