Dear Fred,

Today has been a problem. I got a court summons! Yeah, ME. What did I do? Apparently I hurt this little kid's feelings and her mother is suing me for emotional distraught or something...are these punks serious? They'll sue because I hurt someone's feelin's? What kind of world do we live in? Back in my day, we'd just gripe back at someone instead of take 'em to court! That kid was the one who reset, and she should expect a good talkin'-to! I didn't make the rules.

Don decided to act as my lawyer. He went to lawyer school for three months when he was a younger mole, so he thinks he has the experience. We went to court and, well, I managed to get ahold of the whole thing on paper...so here, I'll copy it down, word-for-word, here.

Bailiff Booker: Um...court is uh, started for, uh, um...the uh, case between, uh, The Reset Survellience Center and, uh, the Makoto family. Judge, uh, Mayor Tortimer presiding. Uh, I think...

Judge Tortimer: Very good! Now, all you sit down and have a gander at these folk. Now, uh, to start things off...Mrs. Makoto, what seems to be the problem between you and the Resettis?

Makoto: Well, your honor, my daughter accidentally reset her game-

Judge Tortimer: RESET? GUILTYYYYYYY-

Makoto: WAIT A SECOND, I'M NOT FINISHED! Anyway...she was unable to save her game because the weather was stormy and the power got knocked out...and here he comes, yelling at my daughter, accusing her of things she didn't do! My darling Diana has been having nightmares about a scary groundhog man! This man is a MONSTER and deserves to be put in jail for putting not only my daughter, but millions of other children in such emotional torment!

Judge Tortimer: Yepper, sounds like you got an issue on your hands! I wish I could help you, ma'am, but-OH! Right...I'm the judge! I can! Hehh hehh hehhh HORFF! Now, Mr. Don Resetti? Your side?

Don Resetti: Yes, your honor. Mr. Resetti did not mean any emotional harm towards the child, and was only doing what his job demands that he do...try to coax, through verbal communication, to stop players from resetting their game or quitting without saving. Even if the child made a mistake and played during a storm, she, or her guardian, should have known better to try to save and quit early before the power got knocked out. Therefore, the issue is not the Resettis responsibility, but rather an issue the resetters, purposefully or not, must deal with.

Judge Tortimer: Hm...sounds legit to me! Now, uh, someone do the witness part. Mrs. Makoto, call your witness.

Random lady in the back: THROW HIM IN JAIL!

Makoto: HER! I call her as my witness!

Judge Tortimer: Very well. Now, come on up, sprout.

-The lady comes up now, see? And Copper, the police dog here, tells the woman to give this oath or somethin'.

Copper: Now, do you solemnly swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth so help y-

Lady: You bet your beagle behind I do!

Judge Tortimer: Now, now...he's a Labrador. Now, sprout...what's your name?

Lady: You can call me Grandmama Mole, 'cause that's just about what everybody else calls me!

Judge Tortimer: ...[color=gray] Yepper, we got ourselves a crazy one! [/color] NOW. Mrs. Makoto, take it away.

Makoto: Yes, your honor. Now, Miss Mole-

Grandmama Mole: Oh, you can call me Grandmama, sweetheart.

Makoto: Yes...Grandmama. Is Mr. Resetti a relative of yours?

Grandmama Mole: Yes, that fat little runt is my grandson.

Makoto: Yes, and...h-how would you describe Mr. Resetti?

Grandmama Mole: Selfish, rude, angry. Disrespectful to his grandmama!

Makoto: Do you think he had the right to give my little girl nightmares after what she did was just an innocent accident?

Grandmama Mole: Absolutely!

Makoto: Thank y-...Wait, w-what?!

Grandmama Mole: Your offspring was silly enough to play in a thunderstorm...she had it comin'! He was just doin' his job like a good mole. When someone resets, Resetti has to go and gripe at 'em. I'm proud of him for what job he does, even if it does hinder his social skills.

Judge Tortimer: YOU MEAN TO TELL ME THAT CHILD IS A RESETTER?! GUILTYYYYYYY

Makoto: WAIT! WAIT! The trial isn't over!

Judge Tortimer: Oh. Right. Uh, Don, go ahead and call your witness! Thank you, Grandmama Mole, that was real good.

Grandmama Mole: Yeah? Come up and see me sometime, you soft-shelled hunk of tortoise.

Don Resetti: I'd like to call Timmy Nook to the stand!

Sonny Resetti: Don? Where are you goin' with this?

Don Resetti: He's trustworthy, and doesn't hate anybody who gives him money.

Sonny Resetti: Ahhhhh, trustworthy to US!

Judge Tortimer: I can hear everything you sprouts are saying. Wait, I can hear?! EUREKA! I've been cured! Uh, right, witness. Come on up!

-Timmy Nook comes to the stand-

Copper: Do you promise to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth so-

Timmy Nook: Yes! I ALWAYS tell the truth! Honesty is the best policy! [color=gray]So honest![/color]

Don Resetti: Now...Mr. Nook, do you know Mr. Resetti?

Timmy Nook! Oh, yes! He comes to shop at T&T Mart every week! [color=gray]So faithful![/color]

Don Resetti: Yeah, and your uncle is Tom Nook, am I right?

Timmy Nook: You ARE! You ARE right!

Don Resetti: Now, how would describe him?

Timmy Nook: He likes money!

Don Resetti: NO, I mean my brother!

Timmy Nook: DO NOT SHOUT, IT HURTS US! Now...um...Mr. Resetti is very loyal! He is a bell-pinching sort, but he always comes to buy our fortune cookies! Many play coins are spent, yes!

Don Resetti: What kind of person do you think he is?

Timmy Nook: I think he is misunderstood, like my uncle! And also very rich! However, he speaks very roughly, like sandpaper! It hurts our ears! He is a very busy man, but he must smile more! Like the Nooklings! [color=gray]Like me![/color]

Don Resetti: Uh...yeah. Yeah. I think we're done here. Thanks, Tommy.

Timmy Nook: TIMMMEEEEEEHHHHHHHHHH-

Don Resetti: Timmy! Timmy! You're Timmy!

Judge Tortimer: Thank you, Timmy! Now, we will leave the jury to discuss whether Resetti here is guilty or not guilty. We will take a five minute recess! There's a playground for all you kiddies to-huh? Not that kind of recess? Acorns! I wanted to get on the see-saw...

-five minute recess-

Judge Tortimer: Uh, ok, we're back with the case! Or whatever. Now, speaker for the jury, what do you all plead?

Saharah: Yes, judge man! We are saying that mole man who yells at the resetty peoples is of guiltiness! Please you to jail him forever!

Judge Tortimer: Very well. I-wait, you're not from around here...who ARE you?

Saharah: Yes! I come from far away. I come to be jury woman lady!

Judge Tortimer: Not a citizen?! ILLEGAL IMMIGRANT! GUILTYYYYYYYYYYYYY! You are hereby sentenced to TEN WHOLE MINUTES OF TACKLING! EVERYONE ATAAAAAAAAAAAAAACKKKKKKKK!

And she couldn't write no more because she had to tackle that foreign chick. The Makotos are in jail now because they didn't tackle her. ...I didn't write the laws. Wait, did anyone?

I don't have much else to say, so...

SCRAM!