AN: The song used in this chapter is called 'Be good' by Waxahatchee, and it was a cover Emily did within the episode.
*Warning* Contains sexual content.
The Walking Deth - Part I
An Unexpected Journey - Chapter V
Be Good
"I think I'm gonna be sick." Beth muttered before clasping her hand over her mouth.
That would be the moonshine. I had been a pretty shitty chaperone. I knew she had hardly eaten a thing that day, I didn't remind her to drink water, I got drunk myself and turned into an ass, I let her lose control of herself and then I fucked her.
You're a real piece of work Daryl Dixon.
Beth took a few steps off the leave covered path we had been following, and bent over pushing her hands to her knees and began puking into the bushes. I went up behind her and held the hair that hung loose from her pony tail out of the way. It was the least I could do really, since this was all my fault.
I knew I had let her drink way too much, I knew that in the morning when she climbed on top of me she was still pretty lit. I didn't even let her get a decent sleep, she hadn't eaten anything the next day and now a whole day later she was still sick.
Beth wiped over her face and mouth with the back of her sleeve. That dirty sweater we had pulled off a walker, after she kept complaining of the cold. It wouldn't be helping ease her stomach wiping her face all over it.
"That feels better." She declared with a sigh and then straightened herself to a stand. She pointed to the spot she had been puking on the ground.
"There's that snake again." She joked with a tired chuckle. At least she could still have a sense of humour about it.
I looked down at her puke. I couldn't see nothing but liquid and leaves.
"Just looks like a shit-tonne of moonshine to me."
"Yeah I probably drank too much."
"Yeah I shoulda stopped you. Guess you had ta get drunk and do somethin' you regret though, right?"
I remembered it as something she had said while we played that stupid 'I never' game.
She turned around and smiled at me.
"I didn't regret anythin' Daryl." I lowered my eyes, feeling guilty as hell about what happened. And the look she was giving me was making me uncomfortable. It was like she was happy about it all. It just didn't sit right with me. Girls didn't seem happy after fucking with me unless it involved Merle giving them Crystal, Acid or E for their troubles. She stepped forward and bent down trying to look into my eyes.
"Do you regret it, Daryl?"
It felt good at the time. Fucking good. It had been years since I had been with anyone, and decades since I had been with someone as sweet as her, but looking back at it now, it was a stupid fucking thing to do. What the fuck was Maggie going to say? She would probably fucking kill me, and then Glenn would kill my rotting corpse just for Maggie's sake. And Rick what the fuck would he think? I had only just gained his respect. If this had have happened a few years back he'd be throwing my sorry ass in jail. And Michonne and Carol, if we ever found her, they would think I was just some creep preying on the young and innocent.
She was still looking at me waiting for an answer. So I swung my Stryker off my shoulder, held it by the grip and stock, and pushed it toward her, she stood up and took it in her arms.
"I'm gonna teach ya how to shoot some sticks today." It seemed like a good enough distraction.
"Geez it sure is heavy." She groaned as she passed it hand to hand trying to get a good grip on it.
"You should try, drawin' it. You'll prob'ly snap them twig arms of yours 'fore you got it half way."
Beth looked the crossbow over.
"Is it drawn?"
I chuckled at her.
"Yeah Greene, its drawn for ya, you just point and shoot."
"Like this?" She asked as she raised it and moved the crossbow in my direction.
"Whoa." I said as I ducked out of the way and pushed the bow away from my face.
She giggled. "I was just messin' with you."
"Yeah, well don't mess about with deadly weapons and shit, okay?"
"Yes, Mr Dixon." She replied with a sly smile on her lips.
"Right…keep the stock to your shoulder." I pushed the stock so it fit into the fleshy part of her shoulder. "line up your target 'ere." I pointed at the sight. "Pull this trigger and let 'er fly."
"What am I gonna shoot?" She asked while she peered down the sight.
I walked over to the nearest pine, pulled out my Busse and dug an X in the bark.
"Try hittin' that."
I walked back over to her and put my arms around her back and lifted up her elbow. And leant into her ear.
"Take a breath in and, breath it out as you draw in the trigger, don't jerk it, and be prepared for a lil' kickback." I murmured not wanting to break her concentration.
She did as I told her and sent the bolt flying straight into the middle of the X.
I gaped at the bolt stuck in the tree for a moment. She turned her head towards me, with a satisfied grin on her face.
"Like that, Mr Dixon?"
I couldn't help but smile at her. "Yeah smart-ass. Let's see you draw it now."
She looked over the crossbow like it was an exotic zoo animal.
"Put it to the ground and put your foot in here." I said pointing to the stirrup.
She did as she was told, then looked up at me waiting for the next move.
"Now put your hands here, and pull it back to here." I smirked at her knowing there was no way she could do it.
"Good…lord…that's…tough." She strained back on the string and her arms started wobbling like Jell-O. I stepped behind her and put my hands by hers and pulled back on it until it clicked into the latch, tipping her up a little as her foot loosened in the stirrup.
She turned her face in to me, and fluttered a kiss against my cheek.
"No wonder your arms are so impressive." She murmured. I blushed while I slipped an arrow into place and stepped away from her, and her face creased into a slight frown.
"How 'bout tracking." She called to my turned back.
I looked back to her.
"What about it?"
"Can you teach me that? You're a real good teacher." She smiled at me again and I lowered my eyes. I was trying to avoid her gaze, but my eyes had also rested on some tracks in the dirt. I pointed to them.
"Why don't we track whatever made them." I suggested pointing down.
Beth followed them for a little while, dropping the bow and rolling her shoulders, but not complaining about the weight of the bow, which I knew was bothering her.
"Are we close?" She asked after about a half hour.
"Almost done."
"How do you know?"
"The signs are all there. Just got to know how to read 'em."
"What are we tracking?"
"You tell me. You're the one who wanted to learn."
Beth dropped the bow down and examined the tracks.
"Well, something came through here…The pattern is all zig-zaggy…It's a walker."
Damn this girl was good. She was gonna put me out of a job.
"Maybe it's a drunk." I said, trying to throw her off a little. She ignored me rightfully.
"I'm getting good at this. Pretty soon I won't need you at all."
"Yeah, keep on tracking." I wasn't sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing.
She followed the walker tracks until we found the fucker in an open clearing. She had approached, while I stood back and watched, and I had thought I saw something in the leaves, but before I realised what it was she had already stepped in it. She fell to the ground but managed to get a shot off into the walker. It was a pretty good shot, and I was impressed, but it wasn't down yet. I stepped in and took my Stryker and smashed the stock into the walkers skull before he could get any closer to Beth.
She had stepped in an animal trap. It was old and rusted, and the springs hadn't worked so great which was lucky, 'cause even through those boots, a good trap could have caused a major injury.
She was hurt though. She winced in pain as I slipped the pin and pulled it off her. I checked the range of motion on her ankle and then I helped her up to lean on my shoulder and she limped along while I supported her weight.
The trees began to clear and I noticed large grey coloured rocks through the low brush. We pushed through the bushes to find a cemetery, with a big white funeral home in the centre.
Beth was still limping along slowly, so I offered to piggy back her through the cemetery. She jumped on and I grunted, surprised at how something so little could weigh so much.
"Maybe there are people there." She said, motioning to the funeral home.
"If there are I'll handle 'em." I assured her.
She scoffed. "There are still good people Daryl."
"I don't think the good ones survive."
About half way through the cemetery yard, Beth wriggled about and pushed herself down off my back. She walked toward a large tombstone, with her usually cheerful face looked miserable. The tombstone read 'Beloved father'. She was thinking of Hershel.
I spotted some yellow flowers growing from a weed in the ground and pulled them out and placed them on the tombstone. That was a nice sentiment right? A tribute of respect to her father. He probably didn't want anything from me now, after what I did. I looked down to the grave and thought about what I would have said to him, if it were him lying under that stone.
Hey Hershel. I'm sorry I fucked your little girl. Sorry I popped her cherry. Sorry I did it on a musty old chair by a fucking Moonshine still. Hey I'm sorry I gave your baby her first drink. I'm fucking sorry that I stole all her innocence away. Hope you don't fucking mind.
My internal self-abuse stopped when I felt her small finger intertwining with mine. Obviously it didn't bother her what her dad might be thinking.
I gave her hand a squeeze of support and then she put her head to my shoulder. Instinctively I rested my head on top of hers. Fuck I was such an idiot, this was going to encourage her more.
I looked down on the grave that we were treating as Hershel's.
I'm gonna take care of your girl Hershel. Even if that means keeping her safe from myself. I swear hands off from now on.
Beth started to limp back towards the funeral home. I walked along beside her shaking my hand free from her grasp.
"Don't you want to hold my hand Daryl?"
She had stopped walking and was looking at me now, with a brow raised in confusion.
"I don't need to hold your hand, Beth. We're not boyfriend and girlfriend - in high school — kissing behind the bleachers."
She pulled her lips together looking hurt. There I was acting like an ass again.
"What are we then, Daryl?"
What was she asking? If I was her boyfriend? Now this was getting in to some heavy shit.
That's what happens when you fuck with an 18 year old Daryl. You pop their cherry and they think your gonna marry them.
Fuck even in my head I was an asshole.
"We're not that." I said pointing to her hand. I turned my back and knelt motioning for her to get back on. I had to turn away from her confused and hurt look before she made me cave in and hug her or do something stupid again.
The inside of the home was pristine, no dirt, no dust; someone was obviously taking care of the place. We made our way down stairs where I was pretty certain they kept the bodies to embalm them and do whatever other freaky shit they had to do. It was logical that there would be medical supplies down there.
There were some bandages inside the cupboards along with a couple of dead bodies down there waiting out on the gurneys. They looked pretty gross. Like a well preserved walker. But Beth smiled at them like they were beautiful or something. It turns out she did think that. Or she thought that somebody cared enough about them to preserve them was beautiful. That was Beth, always seeing beauty in ugly-ass things.
"Don't you think that's beautiful?" She asked, while peering up at me.
Right now the only thing in this room that was beautiful to me was her. Her eyes were huge pools of blue, and her skin was so bright, and pale and clean, even though we hadn't washed in days. Her blonde hair was all over the place, curling around her ears and across her forehead. Her smooth, soft pink lips were gently parted. Enough for me to slip my tongue in if I really wanted. I shook the thought from my head and told her to sit back so I could see to her ankle. I carefully removed her boot trying not to move her foot around too much, pulled her sock off and then started wrapping the bandage around her swelling ankle. Even plump and purple her ankle looked pretty good — soft, smooth, milky white. I had the urge to kiss it, like a momma kisses boo boos, but I fought it off. I looked up at her and she was smiling down on me.
"Are you going to give me a foot rub?" She suggested with a wiggle of her toes.
I shook my head firmly and then put her foot down, picking up her sock and rolling it back over her foot.
"What's wrong with you?" She asked, with a hint of concern in her voice.
I picked up her boot and tugged it back on, avoiding eye contact.
"What do you mean what's wrong with me?" I said, looking down to her boot.
"You've been acting weird all day."
Was it that obvious? I stood up, turned to the side, and braced myself against the nearby sink. We were going to have to have the uncomfortable talk sooner or later, so may as well do it in here where she had access to scalpels and shit. She was watching me intensely waiting for my response.
"I just…" How was I going to put this.
"We shouldna… " No matter how I said it, it was going to sound bad.
"We shouldn't have what?" she interrupted looking quite irritated.
"You were drunk, we were both drunk. It shouldna happened."
Beth took a quick breath in, and chewed on the side of her lip nervously.
"You're gonna do that to me, Daryl? You're gonna blame it on the alcohol?"
"Well yeah, I was shit-faced, I wasn't thinkin' clearly."
"Daryl, you stopped drinkin' hours before me. You couldn't have still been drunk when we…did it."
I shook my head.
"Nah."
"No?" She raised her eyebrows at me in disbelief.
"When I came back in after a piss, you were passed out, and I couldn't sleep." I couldn't sleep because I was thinking about her, but it was best she didn't know that. "So I had a few more drinks." Just a couple of jars of shine to settle the nerves.
She scoffed at me and shook her head, then she lowered herself down and started limping out towards the doorway. I made a grab for her hand as she passed, not wanting her to be mad at me, and she brushed it away.
"I'm sorry, Beth." I said trying to sound as sincere as possible.
"I'm sorry too, Daryl. I'm sorry I was just another thing you regret…doing." That felt like a kick in the guts.
"I don't regret it Beth." I didn't know how I felt about it really. "I just wished it never happened."
"That's the same thing, Daryl."
"That's not what I meant." I had to put some more thought into my words.
"I just don't want things to be weird between us."
She crossed her arms and glared at me waiting for more.
"I don't want it to be weird if… when we find the others. Your sister will be pissed."
Beth dropped her arms and shook her head. She took a step towards me as if she would embrace me and I stepped back in towards the sink again. She saw the movement and stopped in her tracks.
"She won't be pissed. We all need someone, to feel close to, to feel a connection with, someone to make us happy and to give us a reason to live when we feel we have none. She has Glenn for that, I'm sure she would want me to have someone."
"Not me though."
"Why not?"
I threw my arms up in frustration. Did she really need me to say it out loud?
"Because I'm me, I'm Daryl. I'm some dumb-ass red neck and you're this smart, beautiful, talented girl who is way…way too young for me."
"I'm not too young Daryl. I'm eighteen, I'm an adult."
"Yeah and I'm twice your fuckin' age."
Beth swung her arms around motioning to her surroundings.
"The whole world's gone to shit. Do you think any of that matters? Do you think the rules of society still apply?" She had a point, but there was so much more wrong with this than age difference.
"You just… " I took in a deep breath as I felt a rush of emotion growing inside me. Something like disappointment, and self-hatred, that I hadn't really felt for some time. " You deserve better than me." I admitted truthfully.
She stepped forward again in an effort to hug me and I pulled my arms firm against my side and tensed myself up again causing her to stop.
"I deserve someone, Daryl." She smiled sadly at me, before turning around and hobbling back towards the doorway.
I found her later in a small upstairs bathroom looking through the cupboards.
"What you find?" I asked her. She turned to face me and held up some bars of soap and a tube of toothpaste.
"Luxuries." She replied with a smile. She handed me a bar of soap and then bent down picking up some plastic gallon sized bottles filled with a clear liquid.
"And look, someone was stockin' up on water. We could use it to wash."
I held my hand out for one of the bottles. She handed it over, and I unscrewed the top and sniffed the contents. Odourless. I took my finger and dipped it inside and tasted it. It was water.
"Water." I proclaimed.
"What else would it be?"
"I dunno, Kerosene? Some other shit you don't want poured over your skin?"
She smirked at me and then began pouring the water on to a hand towel, rubbing it with the soap and wiping it all over her neck and chest. I grabbed another hand towel to do the same. I pulled off my long sleeved shirt and vest and rubbed it along my arms and up under my shirt. It had been a while since I had washed with soap, it had been a while since I had washed even in clean water.
Beth nodded towards the bath.
"I would kill for a hot bath."
I looked into it, spotless like the rest of the house. I didn't really know what girls liked so much about hot baths. I only ever had cold ones.
"You could have one." I suggested.
"I could?"
"Yeah" I motioned to the bottles of water.
"All this water had to have come from somewhere. Maybe there's a well nearby. I'll have a look for it tomorrow, cart some water back 'ere, boil it up, fill 'er up for ya. It might take a while, and it might not be so hot by the time I'm done, but you could still soak in it. Relax." I didn't even know why I had offered to do that. It sounded like a lot of work, but there was something in me that just wanted to see her happy.
She was gazing at me with that look I hated so much. The one of doe eyed innocence.
"You're a romantic, Daryl Dixon."
"Nah." I scoffed. "Jus' thought you would like a bath is all."
She stepped towards me and ran her fingers over the collar of my shirt.
"You are. And you deserve to have someone too."
She was gazing into my eyes, and I felt like I was under some kind of spell, hard to move, hard to speak. It took a lot of effort to pull my eyes away from hers and pluck her fingers away from my collar.
She frowned while she eyed over my shirt.
"Maybe washing those clothes would be a better use for all that water, than a bath."
I looked down at myself. Clean clothes would be nice, but totally unnecessary. When I looked back up she was undoing her jeans, and less than wholesome thoughts were racing through my head.
Control yourself Daryl.
I was about to tell her to stop when she looked up at me and spoke.
"Do you mind? I kind of need some privacy for the next part."
I backed my way out of the door and found another room to go and follow her example.
Later on after we had finished washing up we had a look in the kitchen to see what we could find. There was nothing at first but then we opened the cupboards to find a gold mine. Stacks of jars and cans all lined up neatly. There was even some soda bottles still freshly sealed. There was definitely someone living here.
"We'll take some of it and we'll leave the rest, alright?" I suggested.
"I knew it." She said turning her doe eyes towards me.
She was giving me that look again, the one that made me feel like cutting my filthy, no good hands off.
"Knew what?"
"It's like I said, there are still good people."
Yeah, I was getting better. I knew that. But I still wasn't good enough for her.
I took to securing the home while she looked around. I made sure all the windows and doors were boarded up properly, and rigged an alarm for the front porch. When I went back inside I could hear a song bird tune coming from the parlour. I walked in and found her sitting there by the piano playing some sorrowful song.
We'll drink up our grief
And pine for summer
And we'll buy beer to shotgun
And we'll lay in the lawn
And we'll be good
The song was bringing up all those feelings again, the ones I didn't want to have. The ones I didn't want to have about her. I gave a cough to let her know I was there. I knew I had startled her by the way she slipped off the key. She swung around on the stool to face me.
"The place is nailed up tight."
I walked into the parlour and put the crossbow down on the lounge chair against the wall. It was one of those fancy ones all curvy and puffy, like you would see in a rich old man's house.
"The only way in is through the front door."
I walked over to the open casket, ready and waiting for its next body, it looked comfortable, I kind of thought it might be cool to know what it feels like to lay in a casket while I was still alive, so I pulled myself inside, and settled in amongst the satin lining.
"What're you doin'?" She seemed a little shocked by my behaviour. I guess I was doing something immoral again.
"It's the comfiest bed I've had in years." That seemed like a decent justification.
"Really?"
"I ain't kiddin'." It had been a long time since I had even slept in a proper bed. Even before all this happened I was mainly hopping from couch to couch.
Beth was still watching me with curiosity in her eyes. I hated it when she looked at me like that. She looked so sweet and innocent, it made me feel like a fucking rapist or something.
"Why don't you go ahead and play some more, keep singin'." I suggested. Anything to stop her from looking at me like that.
"I thought my singin' annoyed you." She replied with a playful smile. Her and her fucking cute smiles.
There was no way it annoyed me, she had the voice of an angel, and the face to go with it. I was just being an ass when I said that before, surely she knew that.
"There ain't no jukebox so… "
Another asshole response, she had to be used to that by now.
She started again with the piano tune and singing in her soothing voice;
And we'll buy beer to shotgun
And we'll lay in the lawn
And we'll be good
Now I'm laughing at my boredom
At my string of failed attempts
Because you think that it's important
And I welcome the sentiment
This was probably what a Lil' ass kicker felt like when Beth sang her lullabies. Safe and secure and at home. I could feel sleep creeping through my body, lying in the comforting satin surrounds of the casket, at peace and in good company.
you don't wanna be my boyfriend
And that's probably for the best
Because that, that gets messy
And you will hurt me
Or I'll disappear
Shit. Did she just say boyfriend? Was that song meant for me? Did she think I was going to hurt her? She was right I guess. I had already hurt her, I knew that. But I didn't want to hurt her anymore, and if I tried to have anything with her it would be nothing but messy.
"What's that song?" I asked when she had stopped playing.
"It's just some folk song."
"Old?" I hadn't heard it before so it must be old.
"No, it was released just before —you know — when this all happened." She replied.
Well it wasn't something I had heard on the radio.
"It's nice. Who sings it?"
"Waxahatchee."
Waxa what? It didn't matter really.
"What does the song mean?"
Beth shrugged her shoulders, and turned around on the bench to face me. "I didn't write it so I don't really know. But I think it's about a guy and a girl. They're really good friends, they just hang out together and enjoy each other's company, and they don't want to ruin their friendship with anything more."
Interesting song choice.
"But I think maybe it's a bit strained. And if they were in a different situation then maybe they would want something to happen. But you know. They're not, so…"
If the situation were different. If I had of kept looking for the governor with Michonne we would still be livin' in that prison, her daddy would still be hangin' around, and she would be avoiding me. If things were different and I had have taken better care of Zach on that scout run he wouldn't have been killed, they would have been fooling around together in the guard tower just like Glenn and Maggie. If it were different and no one ever got sick, and there were no walkers. She would be back at the farm, applying for college, trying to get one close to Jimmy so they could still see each other on weekends.
I looked at her face. She was still giving me that warm, hopeful, innocent smile. Even after all we had been through, after all I had put her through, she still looked at the world and everyone in it though rose coloured glasses.
I tried to use this positive thinking she was always pushing on me. If the situation had of been different, we might not be here together, alone in this house, clean, well fed and safe for the time being.
She dropped the smile and was now looking at me intensely, twisting her good foot into the floor nervously.
"I think I'm gonna go to bed." She finally said.
She sat up and gently closed the piano, and then limped over towards the door.
"It's only just got dark." I pointed out.
"Need an early night." she said with a shrug of her shoulders.
"Do you need some help up the stairs?" I offered.
"Nah I'm good. You just stay there." She waved towards my new bed. "In your coffin." She gave me a small smile. It was her usually sweet smile, but the smile didn't reach her eyes. All I could see there was pain. Pain I, most likely, put there.
"Goodnight Daryl." she said walking through the doorway.
"Goodnight." I replied in a voice so quiet she probably didn't even hear it. I listened as she clumped up the stairs, dragging her injured ankle along.
I thought it would be good to sleep down here so I could be up and out if anything happened, but I knew sleep wasn't coming any time soon, my head was running wild with stupid thoughts I didn't even understand.
What the fuck was I doing here? What was I doing to her? To myself? I made a promise that I would take care of her, that I would respect her, and I would treat her the way Hershel would have wanted me too, but would he really want me to break her heart? I had made the mistake of letting it go too far, but wouldn't it be an even bigger mistake if I took it all back and pretended it never happened.
I started chewing on my nail like I always did when something bothered me. The casket, although originally comfortable, suddenly started to feel confining. I rolled around trying to get into a better position, but there wasn't really another position to take. It was either flat on your back or flat on your back. It was a stupid idea anyway, who sleeps in a fucking casket? Was I like some kind of vampire or something now? There was a perfectly good bed upstairs. Freshly made with clean sheets, and a warm body to lay next to.
I sat up and swung my feet out of the casket and then pulled myself out to drop on the floor.
There were other rooms up there but surely, she wouldn't mind if I shared the bed with her. Better for us to be close anyway. There would be plenty of room, and if there wasn't, a little cuddle couldn't hurt. Friends did that didn't they?
I walked over to the lounge and grabbed my crossbow and made my way back out into the hall and up the stairs. They creaked a bit, which was good. I would hear if anyone walked up them. The door to the larger bedroom was still open, but there was no light inside. I poked my head in to see Beth's form under the covers.
"Beth?"
She sat up and let the covers fall to her waist. Her hair was untied and curling around her shoulders, glimmering silver in the moonlight. She was sleeping in her underwear. Her clothes were in a pile beside the bed. Her necklace with the charms was resting in between her tits, and I averted my eyes, before things started to move that I didn't want to move.
"Do ya mind if we share a bed?…You know for safety and all."
She smiled at me and threw back the covers, inviting me in.
"Of course I don't mind."
I placed my Stryker by the foot of the bed and then pulled my boots off. Usually I slept in my shoes, but the sheets looked so pristine and clean, I didn't want to get mud all over them. I walked to the side of the bed, took off my knife sheath and placed it on the side table in ease of reach, and I dropped myself down on the bed and slid in beside her.
"You're gonna sleep in your clothes?"
She was looking me over, taking in the stains of mud and blood and half a dozen or so tears.
"Yeah. If somethin' happens. If I have to get up quickly. I don't want to be runnin' in my underwear."
"What's gonna happen? you checked the place yourself. No walkers are gonna get in here."
"I'm not worried so much about walkers. I'm more worried about people who can open doors."
Beth nodded towards the still open bedroom door.
"Why don't you lock it then?"
I guess that was reasonable. If anyone played around with the lock I would hear it before they were in the room. And the thought of getting out of my clothes and having a decent sleep was pretty tempting. But sleeping beside her with hardly anything on. That could make things messy.
I stood up and walked over to the door shut it and locked it. The room was dark for a second, night had crept up on us while I had been tossing and turning in that casket. My eyes started to adjust to the light from the moon that was coming in through the window. I pulled off my vest, long sleeve and button up. Then I undid my belt and pulled off my jeans. I left my drawers on. If I had have been back home, before all this happened I would have slept completely naked, but I couldn't do that now. That would definitely send the wrong message.
Beth watched me walk over to the bed and get back in. Her eyes were still on me while I made myself comfortable on the pillow.
"You get lonely down there?"
"Yeah, it probably wasn't the smartest idea, sleepin' in a coffin. Nightmares 'an shit."
"I thought you said it was comfortable?"
I rolled my shoulders along the bed pushing myself in to make the pillow fit around me.
"This is more comfortable."
She grinned at me.
"Is this going to make it more weird?" She asked.
"Prob'ly."
"If you hold me, I guess that'll make it weird too?"
"Yeah." Of course it would. If I was any closer to her, I don't think I could control myself.
She lay back down on the pillow and stared up at the ceiling. The light from the moon caught in her eyes revealing they were wet. She had either been crying or she was gonna cry.
"Roll over." I said pushing her gently on to her side. I couldn't have her cryin' on me now.
She did as she was told and laid on her side and I slipped in behind her, wrapping my arm around her and tucking her into me like we were a pair of spoons. Her hair was spread out on the pillow and looping softly over her neck. I pushed it to the side resting my chin on her shoulder. She smelt good, fresh and clean. As I breathed in her scent I could feel my dick starting to move.
Not now.
I was trying this whole platonic thing out. Well I thought I was. But if that was really what I wanted, I probably wouldn't be here, in my underwear lying behind her with my dick pressed into her ass.
She must have felt it moving cause she pushed back against me.
"Is that you?"
"Who else would it be?"
"Are you a little excited to see me?" She joked.
I ran my hands along her belly. Her skin was soft and smooth. It almost felt like I would tear it up with the callouses on my fingers.
"You feel so good." I murmured.
I pushed my face back in to her neck and took in another deep breath through my nose.
"You smell so good."
What are you doing to yourself?
"That's the soap from before." She informed me.
"We gotta make sure we take some with us."
She rolled over, turning her body in to me and putting her face on the pillow in line with my own.
"Do you think we could do it?"
"Do what?"
"Just be friends?"
No. Of course we couldn't just be friends. Look at us, lying in bed together half naked.
"I think we might've gone too far for that now." I admitted.
"So why are we even trying?"
"I don't know. I wanted to respect your dad. To respect you. I wanted to do the right thing. Be good."
She smiled at me. The same smile that always made me feel uncomfortable. Now it was just turning me on.
"I think my dad would respect you more if you were consistent."
I frowned. He probably would be more pissed at me for fuckin' and runnin' than he would for fooling around with her in the first place.
"And you have been doin' the right thing Daryl. At least you been tryin'. And you are good. You're the best person I have right now." She was stroking my face now, brushing the hair away from my cheek.
"I'm the only person you have." I replied
"And I'm the only person you have." She smiled at me again. Fuck she was beautiful. Those big clear blue eyes looking up at me, you could be lost in them for weeks.
She was right of course, like she always was. We only had each other. Her dad wasn't here, Maggie wasn't here. It was just us two, and it may only be the two of us for some time. We might never find the others, and if we did I'm sure we could explain it to them, and they would understand, wouldn't they? I didn't want to hurt her. I was going to take care of her, and she would take care of me. Surely they would be okay with that.
I put my hands around her and drew her into me and pressed my lips against hers. Her breath was minty fresh. She must have used some of that toothpaste before going to bed. I started off kissing her gently but I got more forceful as she responded to me, wrapping her leg around my waist and pushing herself against me. I ran my hands up her back and searched for the clasp on her bra, pushing it together to release it. It sprung of her body and I helped her pull it off and drop it to the floor beside the bed, then pulled her into my chest, feeling the soft pillows of her tits against me.
I moved in to kiss her neck, brushing my nose upwards against her jaw. The smell of her was overwhelming and her neck still tasted sweet like soap. I slipped a hand under her side and flipped her on to her back, and she gave a soft giggle that made my cock throb. I moved my kisses from her neck down to her collarbone and then trailed the kisses down her chest and to her tits, pushing aside the charms that hung off her necklace. I placed a hand on one of her tits and began rubbing and squeezing , trying to be as gentle as I could. The other one I ran my tongue around and to her nipple, swirling it around the little hard cherry on top. She began to squirm and gasp and I could feel my cock throbbing hard and hot. I did the same to the other side and then I trailed the kisses downwards across her firm belly over her navel down between her hip bones. I took hold of her panties with both hands and dragged them down over her legs. She helped me by lifting herself up and lifting her legs so I could pull them over her feet. I was extra careful of her ankle that was still wrapped in the bandage. Her panties now joined my clothes at the foot of the bed. I turned back to her and admired the sight before me.
She was laying there completely naked on the bed. The moonlight shining on every smooth curve of her body. She looked like an angel laying there with her blonde hair spread out over the pillows and her face darkening with colour in the dim light. Demon Daryl Dixon, fucking an angel, I never thought that would happen.
I lifted her undamaged foot and began gently kissing it. I placed kisses up the back of her calf, behind her knee up her thigh toward her pussy. As I got closer I heard her gasp and I felt her body tense. I looked up at her face staring down at me with awe in her eyes. She had probably never had anyone go down on her before.
"You okay?"
She nodded and then fell back down on the pillows in surrender.
I held her ass in my hands and tilted her hips upwards so that I could reach her with my mouth comfortably and I gave a long slow and deliberate lick in between her lips. She squealed and arched her back immediately. Looking for the same reaction I began twirling my tongue all around the area, holding her in place as she writhed and moaned. She was so wet, I thought I might drown down there. I could feel the moisture building up in the hair on my chin, as I flipped my tongue back and forth and drew her clit between my lips and massaged it with my tongue. When she had let out a few good moans and my tongue and mouth were aching, I came up for air. Her face was even darker in colour now and her hair looked wild spreading out all over the pillow in messy clumps.
I pulled my drawers down over my hips past my knees and over my feet kicking them on to the floor. And then crawled on top of her. She was panting heavily and gasping for air, anxiously watching me approach her. I went in and kissed her mouth allowing her to taste herself, and then pulled away and looked down at her wondering how she would respond.
"Did you like that?"
Her tongue gently flicked over her lips and she nodded.
"I'm going to fuck you now okay?" It was probably a shitty choice of words, but what else could I say? Make love? That would make it really weird.
She didn't seem to mind because she nodded again then took her hand and ran her fingers through my hair to get a good grip on me.
I forced my way into her wet, warm opening, absorbing the sound of her startled moan, and then took a second to try to gain some self-control. She felt so tight, and so hot. Every time I moved in her she would clamp down on me and I thought it would send me over the edge. When I had a hold of myself I moved in and out of her slowly and gently, partly because I didn't want to hurt her, and partly because I didn't want it to be over before it had begun.
She had one hand on the back of my head pushing me into her shoulder. her mouth was by my ear breathing heavily, gasping and moaning and sending chills up my spine. The other hand she had on my back, pulling and grabbing and scratching at the already scarred skin.
When she had moaned so many times I had lost count and when the sound had turned into a weak whimper, I decided it was time to finish off. Grabbing her ass with one hand I drew her hips towards me and began pushing myself in to her hard, fast and deep. Her moans turned from the weak whimpering to the deep throaty bursts she had given me earlier. Her body was moving against mine. Her back arching upward, pressing her chest into mine. Her fingers were against my back, her nails digging in deeply. On her last orgasm I could feel her clenching down on my cock rhythmically and the sensation was too much to bear. It took all the strength I had to pull myself out and empty on to her belly, letting out a few deep groans of my own in the process.
I looked down on her spread out before me, she was glistening in sweat and her chest was rising and falling as she gasped for air. Her legs were bent at the knee and trembling like Jell-O. I took her legs and gently pushed them together and to the side and tried to hold them still for a few seconds.
When she looked like she had recovered somewhat I moved to the edge of the bed and looked for something I could clean her up with. There wasn't much, the bedroom was pretty spotless, but there was a small pillow on the floor near the bed. I reached down, picked it up and placed it on her belly, wiping down to get all the mess off. She was smiling at me again, her wits regained, and it was that same smile that used to bother me, but it looked a little less innocent now, especially after what had just happened. I gave her a sly smile back.
When she was clean I threw the pillow back to the floor and then pulled the covers up over the both of us. I moved in by her side and rolled her over again so I could spoon her. I gave her a kiss on her cool, damp shoulder.
"You're pretty good at that." She breathed.
"I've had years of practice." I actually hadn't had all that many fucking partners in my life, but I was certainly more experienced than she was.
She chuckled at the hint to my age. And I grinned to myself. At least it was becoming a more comfortable topic for me.
"Do you think the walkers heard us that time?" She asked
"Prob'ly, but don't worry. No walkers are gettin' in 'ere tonight." I only hoped something else drew them away before the morning.
She began rubbing her hands along my arms and I found myself kissing her neck again. It was pretty great laying here with her in my arms, in a clean bed, in a clean house. No walkers breaking down the doors. It must have felt something like this before. Living a normal happy life, with someone you cared about in your arms. Only it wasn't like it was before the turn. It was a lot more dangerous now, and I hoped this wasn't going to be another thing ripped away from me.
"This time we should sleep." I suggested. "Don't know when we're gonna have the chance to sleep in a big, clean bed again."
She nodded her head, and I tilted my head up and kissed her on the cheek.
"Goodnight, Beth."
"Goodnight, Daryl." She pulled my hands up to her mouth and kissed the back of my hand gently.
It was a good night.
I woke up at dawn, to the full of crisp, clean light. I would have loved to sleep in, as it was something we so rarely had the opportunity to do, but I couldn't fight my body clock.
It kinda felt like a dream, laying there with Beth. There was no smell of death, just the sweet smell of her in the air. I couldn't even hear the walkers outside. It felt nice to imagine that everything was like before, but better.
Beth had turned in the night and was laying on her front, her face turned away from me. Her bare back upturned and exposed. I watched her for a few seconds before I heard her whimper. She arched her back a little and then went limp again. I kept watch as she let out another few whimpers. They were small, sad sounds and I knew she was having a bad dream, most likely about her dad. She had made the same sounds just about every night since we had left the prison. I gently ran my hand along her back up and down from the base of her neck to the small of her back. Eventually the whimpering stopped. I leant forward to look at her face to see if she was still sleeping. Her face looked peaceful and her breath was relaxed and even. I kissed her gently on the cheek and then at her neck, then on her shoulders and between her shoulder blades.
My dick was already hard, as it was most the time in the morning, but I felt it stir again with thoughts of last night, and the touch of her against my lips.
Hold on man, you're not as young as you used to be.
It seemed my dick didn't agree as it just kept getting harder.
I ran my hand down her side, feeling the side of her tits, over her belly down to her smooth inner thigh. I lifted her thigh to the side a little so I could get to her easier and then I placed myself on top of her and entered her from behind. She was already wet and it helped me ease in to her despite her being so tight. The sharp gasp she let out told me she was awake, but she didn't say anything, so I started moving inside her. I took my hand to her bent leg and rubbed along up her thigh towards the front pushing my hand down between her belly and the bed sheets, reaching down until I found what I was looking for.
I ran my fingers through her hair and then pushed down on her pubic bone just were it began to hollow out above her clit. I kept applying a steady pressure while I moved in and out of her. She was wide awake now, moaning into the pillow and arching her back. I kissed her back and kept up the force on her front rubbing in a circular motion. She was clenching down hard on my dick and the feeling was nothing short of fucking amazing, but I could tell I wasn't going to finish, I was in need of a trip to the bathroom, and I really was getting too old for twice in one night.
It didn't matter anyway. This wasn't really about me, she had been having bad dreams, maybe this would help her sleep a little longer and a little better.
When my hand started cramping and my back started aching, and when she sounded completely exhausted and ready to sleep I let up on my onslaught, sliding out of her. A patch of dampness spread out on the bed around her thighs, if I had needed any more proof she enjoyed it.
I bent down and kissed her cheek.
"Feel better?" I asked.
"Mmm hmm" she mumbled. Her eyes were still closed, her face flushed but restful. I stroked her cheek and kissed her again.
"Go back to sleep."
I pulled the covers over her and then left her there to sleep while I went to check outside.
She looked so peaceful when she slept. Like a child. I pushed that thought from my mind, it wasn't something to dwell on after recent activities.
I didn't want to wake her, she was obviously enjoying her sleep, but the sun was high in the sky and it would have to be at least nine o'clock. She was going to have to be woken sooner or later.
I stroked the hair away from her face and she stirred at my touch. She opened her eyes looked up at me and gave me that smile that I was starting to hate a little less.
"Get dressed. I made you some breakfast."
"You made me breakfast? You really are a romantic."
"If you think pigs feet in a jar is romantic."
She screwed up her nose at the mention of pigs feet and then sat up and stretched. The covers fell down and I couldn't help but glance at her tits again.
My dick jumped and I started to wonder if I could go another round now I was more awake.
Get a hold of yourself Daryl, you can't fuck all day. As much as I would like to.
She moved to the edge of the bed and began looking around for her clothes. Was she deliberately bending over like that, teasing me? I got up and helped search myself, trying to get her ass out of my view. Her bra was over by my side of the bed, her panties by the foot of the bed. She had already found her clothes. I handed her the underwear and then stood back and watched her get dressed, torturing myself.
When she was dressed, she pulled her hair back and tied it in a loose ponytail. She then pulled one sock and boot on and I helped her to pull the other one carefully over the bandage. She put her feet down and limped her way out of the room and down the stairs.
After the third step I decided this would be quicker and easier if I helped her out, so I scooped her up in my arms.
"Snails'd be quicker 'an you Greene."
"I'm going as fast as I can." She chuckled.
I kicked the kitchen door open with my foot and carried her through the doorway. To the feast of Peanut butter and jelly, pigs feet and cola.
When we sat down I heard the cans from the alarm I had rigged up clang together. I grabbed my crossbow and headed to the front door, telling Beth to stay where she was.
It had just been some mangy old mutt with one eye missing. I tried to pet it but it ran away. When I went back inside and told Beth she looked a little disappointed she didn't get to see it. She probably loved animals as much as she loved people.
Later that night while we were back in the kitchen eating our makeshift dinner, Beth pulled out her journal and started scribbling in it with her pen.
"What are you doing with that?" I asked.
"I'm gonna leave a thankyou note."
"Why?"
"For when they come back. If they come back."
There she was again. Her pure heart, always thinking about others. It was this kind of innocence that made me feel like shit about rubbing my dirty hands all over her. But I felt like some of that innocence was rubbing off, like my hands were getting a little cleaner every time I touched her.
It was at that moment that I realised that it wasn't her losing her innocence that I needed to worry about. It was more about her helping me find a little bit of innocence of my own.
"Maybe you don't have to leave that." I suggested. She stopped writing and looked up at me.
"Maybe we stick around here for a while."
"Daryl Dixon, are you trying to shack up with me?"
"Nah, nah." Shit was I?
"Yes you are, you want to build me a white picket fence, and have babies and pet dogs." She was just playing now. I gestured to the cleanliness of the kitchen.
"We wouldn't be alone." But at least these people didn't know us, didn't know who we were before. They wouldn't have any reason to get fierce about me and Beth.
She was watching me carefully now.
"When they come back, we'll just make it work." I said with a shrug.
She looked a little guarded now. She probably still wanted to find Maggie. She probably wasn't as worried, about what they might say as I was.
"I mean they may be…may be nuts but…maybe they'll be alright."
"So you do think there are still good people around." She said with a cute nod of her head.
"Well there's one sittin' right in front of me." I nodded my head towards her. She gave me that beautiful smile that I was really starting to like now.
Our moment was interrupted by that mutt from before playing around in the alarm again. I knew Beth was disappointed she didn't see it before, so I decided I would coax it in with some pig's feet. My head was filled with thoughts of Beth and of living in our little home, playing with dogs. Stupid kid fantasies, but they were enough to distract me. I opened the door without even thinking to check first and I was nearly bowled over by a herd of walkers.
I tried to hold them off by pushing the door shut, but there was far too many. I called to Beth for my Stryker and told her run. As soon as I moved from the door they were going to flood in. I Stepped away from the door turned towards it and took a shot at one of them and then turned to run back in the house, Beth was in front of me, hobbling along. I told her to pry a window open and get out but she didn't want to leave me. I kept insisting until she ran ahead of me. She didn't need to worry about me, as long as she was safe I would be fine, I just needed her to get her crippled ass outta here. I led them downstairs to where the bodies were held, to give her more time to get out. There were a near dozen of them down there crowding around me, but I managed to trap them behind the gurney and then made my way back upstairs and outside. As soon as I stepped outside a terrible feeling crept over me. It was too quiet out here, and I couldn't see Beth anywhere. I called out for her and there was no response. I raced towards the road looking for any sign of her. All I could see was her bag lying on the road the contents spilled out.
I heard a car screeching away and looked up and watched it drive off. The sedan had a white cross on the back of it. I didn't know who they were but anyone who grabbed young girls in the middle of the night wouldn't be the type I would want Beth around. What the fuck would they want with her? Actually I knew exactly what they would want with her, and I did not want to think about that bullshit right now. Panic started to take hold and turn around in my gut as I raced off down the road behind the car.
I must have been running for hours. My feet were throbbing, my legs aching. I was drenched in sweat, my lungs were burning, and the night was turning in to day. I had to keep pushing on; I couldn't stop until I found that car. The cross on the back of the car had to mean something. Had it been someone from the funeral home? Maybe they were good people as Beth insisted still existed, the place had been kept pristine. Good people kept things pristine right? My thoughts slipped to all the stories I had read on serial killers. Being obsessively clean and organised did not necessarily make you a good person.
Now all the nasty thoughts were running through my head. What they were doing with her, how many of them were doing it with her. Would they kill her after or would they keep her as their pet? The thoughts made my head ache and my stomach turn.
To make matters worse I was approaching a fork in the road, by a rail line. Now I was fucking screwed. The car had passed through here too long ago and I couldn't tell which way it had gone. My nasty thoughts consumed me again and I gave in to the physical and emotional pain. I fell to the floor, exhausted and destroyed. I hung my head and started sobbing, like a kid that had lost his most prized possession.
I don't know how long I was sitting there staring at the asphalt, but now there were footsteps approaching me, six men, each of them with weapons aimed towards me. They surrounded me, and one of them, most likely the leader of the pack started talking. He made a move for my bow and I walloped him in the face sending him to the ground, I stood up snatching up my crossbow and pointed it at his head. If I was going down, I would take him with me.
He started cackling at me like a witch fucked up on crack.
"A bowman." he wiped away the blood from his nose. "I respect that. See a man with a rifle, coulda been some photographer, or soccer coach back in the day, but…a bowmans a bowman, through and through…what is it 150 pound draw weight? I'll be donkey licked if that don't fire at least 300 feet per second. I've been lookin for a weapon like that. 'course I'd want one with a bit more ammo in it, and ah…minus the oblongata stains"
"Get yourself in some trouble, partner?" Called a voice from behind me.
I only had three bolts left, and I would be dead before I could draw the bow again after firing the first.
"Suicide is stupid. Why hurt yourself when you can hurt other people." The leader sneered.
He raised his eyebrows at me and chuckled silently. "Name's Joe."
It turns out this Joe wanted me to join his little derelict army.
There was nothing good about these guys. I could tell that by the way they stood, the way they spoke, the way they smelt. Like death, and not walker death, the death of the living. But they had weapons they probably had transport. Whatever else they had I could use to help track down Beth, and if I found out they had anything to do with taking her, I would kill every last one of them.