I don't know of eyes

this so much, so much straightforward

Konna ni mo konna ni mo

Massugu na me o ore wa shiranai

Two days later I was walking towards school in the morning, sighing slightly to myself as I went. I hadn't been able to go to the beach the day before, as the weather decided that it needed an encore of the rainstorm the day before and had kept it up all. Day. Long. Not that I had any problem with the rain, I just had a problem with not being able to visit the beach.

There was one upside to being stuck at home. My hand lifted to the new adornment that lay around my throat, my index finger softly stroking the beautiful pearl that Takeru had given me. It now stayed in a tight clasp of silver wire connected to a lovely turquoise band that I had fashioned into a choker.

It had taken quite a bit of trial and error and a lot of internet searching to find out how to get the pearl to stay there without having to drill a hole in it, something I refused to do completly.

My thoughts kept wandering as I walked up the path in front of the school, subconciously knowing which way to go to get to my class, 1-B. I sat down in my seat in the far left of the room, second in row and next to the window, only with a perfect view of both the outside and the blackboard. That way if I knew what was being taught, I could just daydream.

I pulled out the books and notepad that I would need for the first few lessons silently, feeling a pair of eyes on me the entire time. I didn't have to look to know who it was either, as we'd been in the same classes for years. At first it had been a relief, to have a friendly face among strangers, but only after the betrayal did I truly regret having to see her every day.

Yamato Nayomi. A very plain, unassuming name for a rather plain-appearing girl, with her straight black hair with its very strictly kept bangs, and her dark, nearly black eyes that darted around, as if she was nerveous. But if you got to know her like I had, you'd be surprised at what hid behind that ordinary facade.

She was the one to make friends easily, able to charm most shy people into her little circle, if not by wits then through determination. Once she had decided to make you one of her 'friends,' you were going to be one.

However, woe to those who lost her favor, as I had. Then Nayomi was one of the coldest, most unforgiving people around.

I flipped to the lesson I knew we'd be focusing on today, keeping my outward appearence as normal as I could, with no interest in anything but my studies. It was how I kept her at bay, how I kept her from further delving into my life and stirring the pot of discord. She had done it too many times before, and I was not going to give her another chance to ever do that again.

As I skimmed over the contents of my textbook, I heard the slight scrape of a chair and the soft sound of footsteps heading for me. Here we go with the morning interrogation, I mentally sighed, keeping my eyes on the space in front of me.

"Good morning, Yukino-chan~!" Nayomi sing-songed the words, and I had to grit my teeth slightly. She knew I hated that.

"...I said good morning, Yukino. Why won't you ever answer me?" I heard the pout in her tone, like I was the one being mean.

I flipped the page, thinking of things other than the annoyance beside my desk.

She hummed slightly, taking a peek over my shoulder at what I was looking at. "Oh, is that what we're going to learn today? It looks so interesting~"

Yes, because trigonometry is just so fascinating...

"Think I can take a look at your notes after class? You always take the best notes, always easy to understand..." Ah, there was the bait. Nayomi code here. Always easy to understand equals I can read you like a book, and you can't hide anything from me.

I didn't even acknowledge her presence, studying the new formula we'd need in the near future.

"...That's new necklace you've got there. Where'd you buy it from."

I immediately stiffened, the cursed myself at once for reacting. The satisfaction practically rolled off of her in waves now, and she kept it up like a fly around a pile of fresh crap to investigate.

"I mean, I've never seen such good craftsmanship. Did you make it yourself, I know you're really good with figuring things like that out. And that marble looks cool too, almost like a real pearl!" The false sweetness in Nayomi's voice grated on my nerves horribly. If only I could turn and use my textbook to knock her away like a mosquito...

Thankfully, the teacher walked in just as the bell rang, ordering everyone to return to their seats. I heard Nayomi pout before turning and going to her desk on the other side of the room, and I couldn't help but let out a silent sigh of relief. Now I was able to concentrate on the lesson, though a small voice in the back of my head warned me that she wasn't going to let this go so easily...

True enough, as soon as the lunch bell rang and I stood up to leave for my usual place to eat, Nayomi was there with that knowing smile on her face, two other girls and one guy lingering a few feet back to watch the 'fun.'

"Hi, Yukino-chan~" she said happily, putting her hands behind her back and tilting her head to make herself look cute. Why she insisted on the 'cute' facade, I'd never know. I did, however, know that this was going to be a massive pain in my ass.

"Move. I'm getting lunch," I said coolly, side-stepping around her and heading for the door with my pack.

A sharp tug made me stop and grit my teeth, and I turned my head to give her a not so nice look as she pulled her hand back from my sleeve.

"I really do like that necklace. How'd you make it? I mean, that looks like a real pearl! Surely you couldn't afford the real thing," she said ever so casually, poking at my lack of funds. Her daddy happened to be a thriving businessman, so what? My mother worked hard every day to make sure that there was money in the bank for us, and I only ever bought things I needed, very rarely splurging on stupid buys like she was wont to do.

"Google it," I said icily, turning and speed walking out of the classroom before she could stop me again. I headed for the cafeteria, intending to buy me a nice lunch, maybe some sweets if I had a bit of change left over.

As I reached for the cheap meals I could afford, another hand suddenly shot out and grabbed onto mine. Startled, I jerked my hand back and whirled to scold the person who had done that when I paused upon seeing them, and then swiftly turned away with a pain in my heart.

Damn it, she would send him to get to me!

Him being the guy I'd had had a crush on a few years back, Fujiwara Kouta. He was a good looking youth, tall and thin with well-kept light brown hair and dark green eyes. His sunny and kind disposition made him rather popular with our school mates, and most looked up to him when they were in need of something. It was him that Nayomi had oh so kindly whisked from my grasp and firmly made hers, insuring that I'd never be able to be with him without thinking that I'd been second best to him.

That one incident had knocked all reasons to trust anyone out of me, and since then she'd made sure I'd be miserable as she could make me, directly like coming to me herself, or indirectly, as was happening now as Kouta looked down at me with a friendly smile.

"Here, I'll pay for your food today. You've been eating nothing but those cheap meals for almost a month."

He was a kind boy, he honestly was, with the intention of looking out for others he considered his friends. Even after I'd iced him and Nayomi out of my personal life, he still tormented me with the occasional act of kindness, as he was attempting to do now.

"I'm fine, I can't make you pay for my food," I mumbled quietly, just not able to find the strength to shove him away as easily as I had Nayomi.

"I insist, you need the proper nutrients in your diet if you want to stay healthy. Here." He reached and plucked a delicious looking bento from farther up and placed it in front of me. My mouth watered at the sight of the bits of fresh veggies and meat that lay within, but I still shook my head.

"I-it's too much, I can't accept this."

"Come on, let's go pay." Ignoring my protests, he grabbed his own bento and gently guided me to the checkout. I watched wordlessly as he paid for both before handing one to me. I gripped it in my hands, suddenly feeling my face flush in embarrassment.

"Th-thank you," I murmured quietly, aware of a few stares directed in out direction. Without waiting for his reply I turned and hurried away, willing the sharp spike in my heart to stop making my chest hurt.

I made my way outside the building and found a small space in between a few statues to sit down, where no one could see or intrude on me. As I flopped to the ground, I glared at the cement below.

Why was Kouta so nice to me still? He had long known that I'd once liked him, Nayomi had made sure of that before rubbing it in my face rather gleefully. I'd told him once how it hurt me as well, in a small moment of weakness and desperation to get the pain to stop. He'd apologized, but every once in a while he still did little things that made me yearn for what could never be.

With a heavy sigh I opened the bento and started to eat in silence, listening to the sounds of my schoolmates chatting with each other in the distance. They talked to each other so easily, laughing and enjoying themselves without a care in the world. If it hadn't been for Nayomi, I would have been out there with them...I felt a twinge of jealousy.

Quickly, I shook my head to clear those thoughts away. It didn't really matter much anymore, as long as I focused on my studies and passed high school. Then I could get a job and help mom out so that she wouldn't have to work so hard to provide for us.

At this thought I frowned, a piece of veggie halfway to my mouth. What kind of job did I want to do after high school? What kind of career did I want to have? I felt a cold chill run up my back as I realized that I'd never thought of it before, and had no plan for the future to go on after I finished school.

Setting down my bento I pulled out a notepad and a pencil, immediately getting to work laying out what possibilities there were and which were the most likely paths I could take that I would excel in. I frowned down at the very short, not so promising list.

In the way of work, there wasn't much I wanted to do. Business just didn't interest me, and the prospect of waitressing gave me a bad taste in my mouth after hearing my mother's stories of her experiences. So what else was there for me?

I resumed eating to help myself think, conscious of the time I had left till the next class. There wasn't much I liked either, other than school and studies. I could try to be a teacher, but what would I teach? My extensive knowledge of shells and the two-faced ways of humanity?

I placed the empty bento box in the trash and picked my pack up to head back to class, feeling the midday sun on my back. I had a lot to think about, and only a few short years to think about it. I just hoped that I could come up with something before my time ran out.

The rest of the day passed rather uneventfully, though I did get some rather nasty looks from Nayomi. Figures that someone would have told her that Kouta had bought me lunch, the gossip mongers.

I lightly stepped down the steps at the front of the school and took an immediate turn towards the beach, feeling a need to have the warm sea breeze caress me and ease my troubles away.

Only the sound of footsteps coming up behind me brought me out of my thoughts, and I instantly paused and turned around, ready to glare at whoever it was, only to nearly choke.

Why? Why won't he leave me alone? I thought frantically to myself as Kouta smiled down at me with that cute face of his.

"Hey Yukino-chan. Mind if I walk with you today?" he asked casually, and I felt my spine stiffen as I stared at this apparition before me.

This can't be real, this just can not be real...

"U-um, I'm not heading to my house," I said quietly, hating myself all the more for not being able to push him away.

"Oh. I noticed you walked this way most days, so I thought you lived this way," Kouta mused aloud, scratching the back of his neck.

I shook my head, my white hair sliding in front of my face so I could hide it from him. "No, I usually go somewhere to relax and study the rest of the day."

"The library?"

"U-um, yeah..." Good guess, but not even close. However, there was no way that I was going to show him where I went at the beach. Him knowing would mean Nayomi knowing eventually, and I refused for that to happen to my last sanctuary.

Well, my next to last sanctuary, I admitted to myself, thoughts straying to the Sea God as my hand drifted up to the pearl around my neck. Kouta followed the motion and blinked in surprise.

"Wow, is that a real pearl?" He leaned down to get a closer look, causing me to sputter and turn a little red at how close his face was to mine. "It's so pretty, Yukino-chan. It matches your hair too."

My mouth opened and closed, trying to form words that stuck in my throat as I took a step back. "A f-friend gave it to me a few days ago," I stammered out, swiftly turning around to hide my face in shame.

"Do I know them?" Kouta asked innocently enough, but the words hit me like a truck.

Shit, what had I just done? "No, they're not from school."

"Oh. Well, shall I walk you to the library today, Yukino?" he asked, noticing my quick rejection of the previous subject. Thank the gods...

"Yeah, sure," I muttered and started walking forward, mentally calculating what waling to the library would do. It was about a ten minute walk, which made it a ten to the beach as it was beyond the library, so I could see no real flaw other than my heart being ripped out by his mere presence.

He smiled and fell into step beside me, his longer legs keeping up with my short, quick strides. Thankfully he remained silent, allowing me to gather my thoughts a little bit and pull up my cool facade, if just a little bit. My thoughts still swam with questions though.

Why was he walking with me? Normally after school he and Nayomi would be together. Had something happened between them and he just wanted someone familiar to be around? Or was he just being this way because Nayomi had asked him to? It wouldn't be the first time I'd fallen for this trap. My defenses just didn't work with him around, despite my will for them.

"So, Yukino-chan," Kouta said, breaking the silence and drawing my attention. "What are you going to do after you're out of school?"

I couldn't help but sigh and shrug, giving in slightly to the temptation of talking. "I don't really know. Probably help my mom out and get a job somewhere."

"Ah, she's still at large?"

"Yeah. She keeps saying that she'll be back, but I don't get my hopes up anymore," I admited, a slight frown on my face. "I'm fine though, I've gotten used to living on my own now."

"I bet you're still eating pre-made food aren't you?"

My blue eyes jerked towards him, face heating up in mortification. "How did you...?"

"You've never been the best cook. Remember that year in home ec?"

Oh yeah. That fiasco. I nodded and grimaced. "I still think they overreacted when that happened."

"Yukino-chan, you set a rice-cooker on fire."

"It's not like I tried!" I protested, though I couldn't help but smile some at the memory. Everyone had freaked out, and my next-to-none knowledge of cooking had prompted the saying 'this isn't what normally happens?' from my lips. I'd yet to live that day down, and probably never would.

Kouta chuckled, making my heart squeeze tightly at the sound. Why did Nayomi have to ruin my chances with this boy...

"Well, at least I've got food in my belly and a roof over my head," I said as I looked back ahead, noticing the library coming into view. "You appreciate the simple things more, and you find yourself a lot happier."

He nodded, his brown hair moving at the motion. "A lot of people could stand to think that way. It'd make everyone a lot better."

"Like Nayomi?"

I instantly clapped a hand over my mouth in horror as the words slipped out, eyes wide as I stared at his surprised expression. Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit!

But to my complete surprise, he sighed and looked away. "Yeah, she could stand to appreciate the little things as well." His voice lost its usual pep, and I frowned.

"Kouta-san, what's wrong?"

The boy hesitated, as if unsure, glancing at me. "...She's been rather...unstable lately. I don't know if something has happened in her family life, or if something else is bugging her, but Nayomi-chan's been...well..." he struggled to find the right word.

"A bitch?" I decided to just cut to it; pretty words weren't going to change anything.

A slight nod of agreement immediately set me on edge. If he was agreeing that his girlfriend was being a bitch even to him, then something really big had to have happened. And when even Kouta was noticing a difference, it made me all the more wary.

Because it meant that Nayomi would be looking for someone to make even more miserable than she was.

Her sudden interest in me made more sense now. She was going for the familiar, the one she knew she could get under the skin of. Kouta's voice pulled me out of my thoughts.

"I mean, I've tried to cheer her up several times, but she just keeps pushing me away." The teen sounded genuinly wounded, and my heart went out to him a little. He was such a kind, caring boy, and never deserved to be iced out by anyone.

Even by you? my mind thought mockingly. I ignored it and instead looked at him.

"It'll be fine, Kouta-san. Nayomi just needs to work things out on her own, just support her as best as you can." I offered a sincere smile to him as I gave him my advice. Even if it was Nayomi he was with, I just couldn't let him suffer without helping him a little. He was too kind a soul to let flounder in misery.

"You think so, Yukino-chan?" His green eyes lit up with hope, and I felt a sharp dagger in my heart as I nodded. Damn you, Nayomi, for making this man stress out like this.

"I do."

A bright smile appeared on his face then, like the sun was beaming down from within. "Thank you, Yukino-chan! I knew I was right to come to you!" He was so happy just then that I offered my own small smile, just glad to see him back to his old self.

I can be happy with just the little things in life...

"I'll see you later, Yukino-chan," he said then, moving past where we had stopped in front of the library to where I assumed his house was. Kouta waved back at me heartily, still with that big smile on his face.

I lifted my hand and waved back politely till he disappeared, only then letting my frown return. I sighed heavily and trudged onward, needing the solitude of the beach now more than ever.

I'd just helped the one I still had lingering feelings for stay with my worst enemy. My mind beat me mercilessly, demanding to know why I had done such a thing.

Why help Naomi? She's the one who made you this miserable every time you happen to see him!

"Because," I murmured under my breath, seeing the glint of the afternoon sun on the ocean surface in the distance. "I just can't turn him away when he needs me..."

I knew that one day, the one fatal flaw in my facade would be my undoing. It was just a matter of time.