Sydrian One Shots

by spaztronaut

A collection of Sydrian one shots. There will be fluff, angst, drama, kissing. Whatever ideas I have. And, if you want, send in a prompt and I might use it! Stop by my tumblr (spaztronautwriter) if you have any requests or prompts :)

48. Tattoo

Richelle Mead owns the VA and Bloodlines series.

This chapter has been sitting half finished for what feels like forever. It's not the best it could be, but honestly, I just can't look at it for one more second. So here it is, and I really hope you enjoy it :)

It had been a while since I'd seen her. Months. Months that had passed in agony, for both of us, I'm sure. I wasn't sure what they did to her, but I knew from the moment I laid eyes on her in that Alchemist bunker that there was something wrong. I hadn't had time to worry about it then. I hadn't had time to do much more than sigh in relief that it was actually her, before Eddie threw her over his shoulder and took off for the exit.

I'd been absurdly grateful when we'd placed her in the back of the van and she hadn't said so much as a word. She wasn't scared of us, just in shock, I'd told myself. Her aura was foggy, almost unreadable. She was drugged. I figured that explained her behavior. The Alchemists had drugged her. It made me angry, but at least she was going to be alright. She was with people who loved her, she was with me. I wouldn't let anything happen to her.

But once we'd crossed the border into Mexico and gotten to our safe house, the drugs had started to wear off. It had become clear that this wasn't going to be as easy as I'd hoped it would.

"Stay away from me."

She was standing right in front of me. A plain, gray jumpsuit dulled her normal glow a little... or maybe that was a result of being locked away for so many months. Whatever it was, Sydney wasn't shining the way she used to. Her yellow aura was muted and the purple streaks were all but gone. There were a few grayish blotches where the purple should be. There wasn't even fear in her aura. Yet, her words would have you believe otherwise.

"I don't know what you want from me," she said, backing away from us, her saviors. Which basically consisted of me, Eddie, Rose and Dimitri. Lissa and Jackie had helped organize everything, but hadn't come to Mexico, for obvious reasons. "And I don't really care," Sydney went on, "but please. Just leave me alone."

She put her hands out in front of her in a way that reminded me of the times in the desert when she'd practiced her magic. I was guessing she didn't remember any of that based on the way she glanced down at her hands like they belonged to a stranger. She dropped her arms to the side and took another step back.

"We're not going to hurt you, Sage," I said softly. "But we needed to get you someplace safe. Someplace the Alchemists wouldn't look."

She swallowed hard and looked everywhere but at my face. "Where are we?"

I started to tell her, but then hesitated, studying her carefully. "I don't think I should tell you," I confessed and her head popped up, eyes wide. "If you know where you are you'll just figure out how to run away that much faster."

"Of course I will," Sydney said angrily. "You kidnapped me!"

Rose shook her head and stepped closer. "Sydney, do you remember me? Rose Hath—"

"Rose Hathaway," Sydney finished for her, exasperation coloring her tone. "Yes, I remember. I remember meeting you. But..." And then her confidence wavered. "I don't know. I'm missing time. Memories. Did you compel me?" she demanded, glaring at Rose. At least she had some fire left in her after all. But her aura was still muted even though she sounded angry.

Rose laughed and Sydney took another quick step back. "Dhampirs can't compel people. Aren't Alchemists supposed to know stuff like that?"

Sydney frowned, but didn't answer.

"Do you remember me at all?" I asked quietly, then tried not to show my disappointment when she shook her head. At least she hadn't run away screaming when I talked to her.

"No, wait!" she said and for one moment my whole being came alive with hope. "You're an Ivashkov, aren't you?"

And there went the hope. It rushed out of me like I'd just been hit by a sucker punch.

"What are you doing here?" she asked suspiciously. "Why are any of you here? Why did you bring me here?"

"To rescue you from the Alchemists," Eddie said, his voice wavering a little. He sounded more emotional then I'd ever heard him, the day Jill came back from the dead aside. I hadn't paid much attention to him since we'd gotten Sydney in the house, but now that I glanced over at him I could see that Sydney's... condition... was effecting him just as much as it was me.

Throughout this whole ordeal it was easy to lose sight of other people's feelings when my own were so all over the place. But I'd known how bad Sydney's kidnapping was on Eddie. He thought of her as a sister, a real sister, and when the Alchemists took her from us he felt like he'd failed her. And Eddie had a thing about failing the people he loved.

Sydney contemplated Eddie's words, her lips pursed, eyes narrowed. "But why?"

"Because you're our friend," I told her. "Moroi, dhampir, human... Friends don't leave friends to be brainwashed by crazy cult-like organizations, regardless of species." I smiled a little, not too wide so I didn't show my fangs. She didn't smile back.

"But we aren't friends," she said, looking in my direction again, but not directly at me. She seemed calmer now though. I went unfocused to see if I could make anything of her aura. Still blank. "I don't even know—"

She cut herself off, a distant look crossing her face. Her brown eyes darted briefly to Rose and then Dimitri and Eddie, once again refusing to land on me. "Even if we're... friends, how did you know where I'd be? And... I mean, the Alchemists were," she gritted her teeth,"helping me. Why did you pull me out of their care? It was none of your business."

"Helping you!" Rose scoffed and crossed her arms over her chest. "Sure, helping you to stop thinking for yourself."

I gave Rose a quick, disapproving look, but she just shrugged.

"That's..." Sydney sighed. "Alright, I know how bad it was in there. They... did awful things. I remember that much." She swallowed hard and I wanted so badly to throw my arms around her. "But I'm one of them. I belong with them. With my family..."

"You're family?" I said, taking a step closer and trying to ignore her matching step backwards. "Like Zoe? Zoe, who the Alchemists used compulsion on so that she'd spy on you?"

Sydney flinched at the accusation. "I don't know what you're talking about." Her voice was higher than usual, and more than a little shaky. I stepped back, making sure she knew I meant no harm. Or, at least, I hoped she knew.

"Sure you do, Sydney," I begged. "You just have to fight the tattoo. You can break it. You've done it before and you can do it again."

Her eyes welled up and she looked away. Her hands found her hair and fisted it, clutching her head like she was in pain. "I don't know what you're saying! Please. Please, just let me go!"

"Sydney..." Rose tried to comfort her, but every time she moved closer Sydney would flinch and pull away. Eddie closed his eyes and sat down in a cheaply upholstered recliner. We were in a safe house Abe had set up for us, but clearly he didn't care about supplying decent furniture. I briefly wondered if he'd stocked the kitchen with food seeing as it might be a little difficult to find a convenience store around here, but then Eddie's voice pulled me back to the problem at hand.

"Just leave her be," he said quietly. "She doesn't remember us. She's certainly not going to remember in the next few minutes, so just leave her. Let her lock herself in the bedroom. She'll feel safe from us and be safe from the Alchemists."

Sydney eyed the rest of us suspiciously from where she'd backed herself into a wall. She looked awful. Her skin was paler than I remembered it. After living in Palm Springs for so long she'd gotten a nice tan that gave her a healthy glow. Now she was pasty and skinnier, too. Her collar bones were protruding from the neckline of her gray t-shirt. I hoped again that Abe had stocked the place with food. She must be starving.

"Sydney," Rose said. "If we leave you alone, do you promise to stay here? We're in the middle of nowhere. You won't get far on your own in the middle of the night. But I promise, we won't hurt you and we won't bother you once you're in your room."

Sydney didn't answer right away. Her beautiful face looked as panicked as it had the first time I'd pulled her into a spirit dream.

"Or," Rose went on. "We can send you back to the reeducation center and back to whatever they were doing to you. You know, since they're family—"

"No," Sydney jumped in. Whatever the Alchemists had done to her had to be bad if she was that quick to stay with us. "No. I'll stay in the room. Just..." She trailed off looking confused. Finally she shook herself and looked at all of us one by one. Well, until she got to me. Then she seemed to be talking to my T-shirt. "Just keep away from me. Don't even think about biting me."

"We swear," I said, putting my hands out in front of me in an effort to allay her fears. But, according to her aura, she still wasn't scared. I guessed that might just be because her aura was so dull. She certainly sounded scared. "We want you to be safe. Whether you remember us or not, we are your friends. We won't do anything to hurt you."

I could see Sydney contemplating this. She was really trying to put this whole situation together. She didn't know what was going on and that more than anything else, I realized, was probably what was scaring her. Finally she looked up at me and her brown eyes nearly took my breath away. They were still filled with confusion, maybe a hint of fear, but mostly, mostly I saw relief.

"Thank you," she said firmly. Then she turned back to Rose. "Where's my room?"

Rose led her down a small hallway to one of the bedrooms. There were three altogether. Rose and Dimitri had one, Eddie and I the other. I'd originally planned to share a room with Sydney, but it was clear that wouldn't be happening anytime soon.

At least she was here, I told myself. Herself or not, she was physically safe for the time being. I could live with that. For now.

###

Hours later, I wasn't sure how many but the sun was just starting to cast it's glow on the outside world, I sat in the living room in that uncomfortable recliner thinking about how badly this all sucked. I couldn't sleep, and one of us needed to stay up to make sure Sydney didn't try to run away. Rose had made sure Sydney's room had no windows she could escape from. She'd also tried to lock the door but I'd refused. I didn't want Sydney to think she was our prisoner here. I wanted her to trust us and locking her up seemed counter productive. Rose also tried to stay up with me to keep an eye on Sydney, but she'd been up for almost twenty four straight hours already. She was still on Moroi time, she needed to sleep. And I certainly wasn't getting any tonight so I'd told her to go enjoy some alone time with Belikov.

I sat there, feet planted firmly on the floor, and began thinking of ways to get Sydney to remember me. I couldn't think of a single one that would work. So instead I started imagining what it would be like if she just woke up and remembered me all of a sudden. The hugs, the kisses, the tears. I'd pull her tight to me and never let go. If only she'd remember...

A soft creak came from down the hall, startling me. I leaned around the side of the recliner to see Sydney's door slowly peek open. Then her blonde head popped out. She froze for a moment when she saw me. We just stared, each waiting for the other to make a move. After what felt like minutes, but must have only been a few seconds, she pulled back into her room and shut the door.

I quickly got to my feet, making a decision and hoping it was the right one. "Sage?" I called softly as I approached the door.

"You said you wouldn't bother me if I stayed in the room," she reminded me through the door. Her melodic voice sounded normal enough, not too frightened, and I wondered if maybe she did remember a little more today, despite hiding from me behind the door.

"I'm not trying to bother you," I swore. "I just wanted to make sure you were okay."

"I'm fine," was her quick response.

I sighed and leaned my head against the door. "Okay. But do you want anything to eat? You didn't eat last night. Or..."

"I'm fine," she called again. But after a few moments, "I am a little hungry though. And I... I need to go to the bathroom."

"Yeah," I said quickly. "Of course. Sorry. It's right down the hall. And I could make you something to eat. Or you could make it," I added remembering how freaked out she used to get about eating food prepared by vampires. "It's all name brand stuff. It came from a grocery store. A human grocery store."

There was a pause and then, "Okay."

"Okay," I said nodding to the wooden door with a smile on my face.

After a few more seconds of staring at the door like an idiot, Sydney sighed. "Adrian?"

"Yeah?" My heart tripped over itself when she said my name. I didn't remember telling her my name. Though maybe she'd simply overheard it.

"Can you go back out to the living room so I can go to the bathroom?" She hesitated for a few seconds. "Please?"

I stared at the wooden door feeling like it was a metaphor for my relationship with Sydney. My beautiful, fiery girl was gone and in her place was a flat, ordinary Alchemist who was afraid of me.

"Yeah," I said, trying to sound pleasant so as not to scare her, but my voice sounded dull. I sat back down in the living room, trying to look as unintimidating as possible should Sydney glance in my direction. I heard the bedroom door click open and the creaking of footsteps as she walked down the hall.

When the bathroom door swung shut with a soft thud and I knew she could no longer see me I got up, unable to sit still any longer. I thought I might lose it if I did. All I could think was that my girlfriend, the light of my life, the girl who once seriously discussed marrying me someday, was too scared to walk by me in the hallway. I disgusted her that much. The Alchemists had hurt her, they'd messed with her mind, made her question her own beliefs and feelings.

I remembered once, when we'd first moved out to Palm Springs, she'd told me that she couldn't imagine anything worse than someone messing with her mind. Her mind was who she was, it was the thing that she liked most about herself. She was always reciting facts about things, it didn't matter what we were talking about, she always knew more than everybody else about it. And if she didn't, she'd learn. Sydney loved learning, she loved challenging herself. She had strong opinions on certain subjects, but she wasn't closed minded in the least. She was nothing like the Alchemists and they couldn't stand it, so they broke her. They broke her mind and her spirit.

I knew what a broken mind felt like. I knew how terrifying it was not being able to trust your own judgements. The last ten months had been hell for me, and not just because I was worried about Sydney. I was, lord knows I was worried out of my mind, but I was also just out of my mind in general.

Spirit had really taken hold after Sydney disappeared. It latched on and dug it's claws into my mind, refusing to let go. I found myself seeing things at least once a week, whether it was my dead aunt, Sydney, my father telling me what a failure I was; it didn't matter. It always felt real even when I knew it wasn't. All I wanted to do was drink until it all went numb. Everything hurt, I didn't want to feel any of it anymore. I just wanted it to stop, but I knew I had to stay strong. It was what Sydney would want, what my aunt would want. It was what I wanted! I wanted to stay sober so I could help Sydney. I wanted to stay sane for Jill.

But now, seeing what those bastards had done to Sydney, I wondered if I'd be able to stay strong if I lost her again. It was pretty clear that, even if she wasn't trying to escape back to the Alchemists, she didn't want much to do with me. She didn't remember her life in Palm Springs, she didn't remember me, or us. Maybe she wouldn't ever remember what we'd once had. Could I really deal with that? It worried me. I didn't want to lose it, but sometimes it didn't seem entirely up to me.

The creak of footsteps alerted me that Sydney was out of the bathroom. I stopped my pacing and leaned back against the kitchen counter trying to look like I wasn't having a major meltdown on the inside. Just as Sydney poked her head around the corner and saw me in the kitchen there was a knock on the front door. Both of our heads whipped around at the sound, but whereas I had a pretty good idea of who it might be, Sydney had no clue.

I wasn't sure if she thought it was the Alchemists come to drag her back to reeducation or a pack of hungry vampires looking to feed on her, but she looked panicked standing there, staring opened mouthed at the door.

"Who is it?" she whispered fearfully, and I figured from her volume it was aimed at me and not the person who was now knocking harder.

"Don't worry," I assured her, going over to answer it. "It's a human, it's okay. He used to be an Alchemist, actually. He's here to help you."

Sydney wavered between backing down the hall or entering the living room. "An Alchemist? But why would he help...?"

"You used to know him," I told her. "You probably don't remember, but you've helped him in the past. He's here to help you get through this now." I looked at her seriously. "Is it okay if I let him in? I mean, he can be a real piece of work sometimes so if you want him to leave just say the word and he's gone."

She glanced between me and the door before saying, "You don't sound like you like him very much."

I grinned, mindful of my fangs. "I'm not his biggest fan. He's not really mine, either. But I do think it would be a good idea for you to talk to him. He might be able to help you put everything together, and I know it's killing you, not being able to work out what's happening."

She looked so uncomfortable talking to me, but she didn't back away towards her room. She merely shrugged. "It's just that I don't remember—"

"Adrian!" Rose shouted, rushing out of her room at the end of the hall, causing Sydney to jump. "Is that the Marcus guy? Why aren't you answering the door?"

Belikov stepped out of the room behind her, fully dressed and wearing his leather duster. Even though we were in The Middle of Nowhere, Mexico and it was probably around ninety degrees outside even this early in the day. Eddie came out of the other bedroom a second later, looking ready to kick someone's ass if need be. Sydney pressed up against the wall to let them by, but didn't move into the living room herself. She still didn't back away though and I had to applaud her for that, considering she was standing in a room with one vampire, three half vampires and a crazy human banging on the door.

Ignoring Rose's concern I pulled open the door, revealing a bedraggled looking Marcus Finch.

"Finally!" he complained, pushing passed me and entering the house, a wave of heat rolling in behind him. "I was knocking forever. It's like a hundred and fifty degrees out there."

"Hello to you, too," I muttered, closing the door behind him.

He looked at me with a fair amount of caution and it sent a shock of pure joy down my spine knowing he was even a little bit afraid of me. Unlike with Sydney, I liked his wariness. It made me feel like I had some control here. "I'm here for Sydney, not to socialize, Adrian," he said, pulling his eyes away from me and seeking Sydney out. Once he saw her, still in the hall dressed in the same gray clothes she was in last night, he took a few steps toward her.

Sydney stepped away from him, fully hiding in the hall now. A few more feet and she'd be back in her room with the door closed. It made me feel slightly better that she hadn't run away until Marcus showed up. Maybe she wasn't as far gone as she seemed.

"Hey, gorgeous," he said gently, making me want to hurl. But he stopped walking toward her, moving a step back and sitting on the couch. "Remember me?"

"I don't," she told him matter-of-factly. "Adrian said I... I knew you, but I have no way of knowing if that's true or not." She looked at me, confusion and fear mixing in her beautiful brown eyes.

At that, Marcus sent me an unexpectedly sympathetic look to which I could only shrug, before turning back to Sydney. "It's true," he said. "You helped me get some information on the Alchemists once. I like to think we're friends. Can we talk a little? Maybe it'll help jog your memory."

Sydney looked between the faces in the room before she nodded and walked into the living room.

"I'll get you something to eat," I offered. She'd said she was hungry after all, but from the way her eyes widened in panic I figured maybe I should have just kept my mouth shut.

"How about we make breakfast?" Marcus asked her. "We can talk while we cook. And I'm a very good cook," he boasted with a wink.

I nearly snorted at that. Of course he would claim to be a good cook. He was offering to make breakfast! At most that consisted of eggs and bacon, maybe a little toast on the side. How hard could it be?

"Alright," Sydney agreed, although she did look a little reluctant. She followed him into the kitchen though, skirting along the wall until she passed the rest of us.

Once it was settled Rose and Dimitri went back to bed—resting so they could take the night shift tonight—but Eddie and I sat in the living room, listening to the conversation in the kitchen. We didn't speak at all, but his expressions were more than enough to know we both felt similarly about what was happening in the other room. I might not have liked Marcus very much, but he was great at talking to Sydney while she was in this state. He was patient and kind and I got the feeling Sydney wasn't the first reeducated Alchemist he'd come across.

"They probably re-inked you recently," he said as they took their plates of eggs (Scrambled. That's the easiest kind, too.) and sat down at the kitchen table.

"They did," Sydney said, shoving a mouthful of eggs into her mouth. I smiled a little to myself. The way she was eating reminded me of all the times I'd taken her out to eat after one of her sessions with her coven. At least the reeducation center hadn't been able to bring back her old body image issues. "They re-inked me every couple of weeks, actually," she finished.

"They use vampire compulsion in the ink," Marcus explained. "They were using it to make you forget and to make you loyal to them again. If we break the compulsion in the tattoo you might start to remember." He looked pained for a second, like he hated what he was about to say. "I don't know that for sure, of course. You might not remember anything, but at least it's a start. And you won't be under their control anymore. We can even seal the tattoo if you want." He went into an explanation of what sealing the tattoo meant and how he could do it. She looked a little nervous so he told her they could discuss it later.

"Do you want to break the lily, though?" he asked. "It's the only way I know that might help restore your memories."

I nearly jumped out of my seat to kiss him when I heard Sydney say, "Yeah, if it will help, I'd like to try it. I really hate not remembering..." She paused awkwardly and then, "Anything."

He'd already explained the procedure to her, so he wasted no time retrieving his messenger bag and the full syringe inside of it. The whole thing was done in less than a minute and looked relatively painless. Sydney hadn't even gotten up from her seat at the kitchen table. Now I just had to cross my fingers and pray to god it brought my Sydney back to me.

But it only took a few minutes to figure out breaking the tattoo wasn't the miracle Eddie and I had hoped it would be. Sydney sat by herself in the kitchen, a pensive look etching her features, as I talked to Marcus. Eddie sat nearby, watching Sydney with a small frown.

"So that's it?" I demanded. "You did it right and everything?"

"It's as good as it's gonna get, for right now at least. I really don't know if her memories will resurface or not. I hope that without the compulsion she'll be able to retrieve them, but it might be too difficult for her."

Sydney Sage doesn't know what the word difficult means, I wanted to tell him. Instead I turned back to Sydney, her head in her hands, brows pulled low across her forehead, and sighed.

"Well, thanks for trying. If it doesn't work, then at least we gave it a shot."

Marcus looked at me for a moment longer than I was comfortable with. "I really hope she remembers. I can't imagine what you're going through."

Marcus didn't exactly know the details of my relationship with Sydney, but he knew enough to be able to fit the pieces together. "Thanks," I said again. "But it's her I'm worried about. I can't imagine having someone just take your life away from you like that."

"It's what the Alchemists do best," he said bitterly. "They make decisions for the rest of the world, not caring whether or not it's a decision they should be making. It's why I wanted to seal Sydney's tattoo the first time." He turned back to look at her, her head still propped in her hands. "It's why we should really seal it right now."

I shook my head. "Not now. She needs time to adjust. She'll make that decision on her own. If we make it for her we're no better than them."

He didn't seem happy about it, but he reluctantly nodded his agreement. He walked back into the kitchen and I followed silently behind him. Eddie stayed in his seat in the living room, but I could tell he was still listening intently. He was just as concerned for Sydney as I was.

"Sydney," Marcus said, taking a seat beside her. The hard laminate of the counter cut into my back as I leaned against it, keeping my distance. "How are you feeling? Anything coming back to you?"

Sydney scrunched her golden brown eyes, an intense look of concentration clouding her features, until finally it was shattered by a look of irritation. "Nothing! I can't remember anything! I thought you said this could help?"

I stood up straighter, just barely stopping myself from rushing over to her. I hated that hopeless sound in her voice. It made me want to punch something, which was not a typical reaction for me.

"It might take a while..." Marcus tried.

Sydney raised an eyebrow. "Or maybe it just won't work at all. You said you didn't know if it would."

Marcus nodded sadly. I wasn't sure if I would have lied to her myself, but part of me wished he had. Or at least been a little more positive about her chances.

"But," he said, "we can still seal your tattoo. Make sure they can never hurt you again. I have the ink with me."

Sydney considered this, her bottom lip slipping between her front teeth. I wished so badly that I could have reached out to her. She might not have remembered me or who she had become when we were together, but she was still Sydney at her core. And I knew the way her brain worked.

"Can I think about?" she asked, looking up at him. "I think I just need some time... to adjust. This is all a lot to take in. You're telling me I was an Alchemist rebel, one who was friendlier than I should have been with vampires," she said with a glance in my direction. "I just... need some time." She shrugged and a wistful look crossed her face. "Who knows? Maybe my memories will come back and then I'll know what the right move is."

Marcus nodded. "Alright, take as much time as you need, but I have to go. I'll leave the ink here for whenever you're ready. Any tattoo artist can use it, just make sure you apply it directly on top of your lily." He gestured to his face and the half moon pattern that ran from cheek to chin. "Any design will do, but it's got to be on top of the lily, got it?"

Sydney jumped to her feet, following Marcus into the living room. "But why do you have to go?" she demanded and I could hear her real question: Why do you have to go and leave me with them?

Marcus grabbed his bag from the couch and turned to face her, a bottle of blue liquid in his hands. "You once told me I didn't do much to stop the Alchemists," he said. "But this is what I do. I help people get away from them. I stop people from ending up like you did." He paused and held out the vial to her. "I'm sorry that this happened to you, that they had the chance to hurt you. But I have to go and make sure they don't do it to anyone else. These people," he went on with a glance at me, "are trying to help you. You used to trust them. They're your friends, so do yourself a favor and let them help you."

Sydney took the vial from his hand, staring down at the indigo ink sloshing around inside. Marcus looked like he didn't want to leave her, but he forced himself to turn around and walk to the door. It was the first time since I met him that I thought he might not be the selfish idiot he seemed to be. He might have come off that way, but he really did want to help people. He protected people from the Alchemists in the only way he knew how. Maybe he wasn't as strong and confident as Sydney, maybe the only way he could fight back was by running, but it was still something. Still a rebellion.

"Are you okay?" I asked quietly once he was gone. Her aura was a little brighter since Marcus had broken the tattoo. The gray fog appeared to be fading slightly, which was promising, but I still couldn't tell what she was feeling.

Sydney startled at the sound of my voice, but only sat down on the couch and huffed. "I don't know. I really wanted breaking the tattoo to work. I can't make informed decisions if the only information I have to go off of is second hand or over a year old!"

I sat down on the arm of a chair, not daring to take a seat next to her on the couch. It didn't escape my notice that she'd sat down as far from Eddie as she could. Maybe she'd listened to Marcus about letting us help her, but I didn't want to push my luck. "Last time you broke your tattoo you said the shift was instant. You called your superior and got into trouble for yelling at her. You said you wouldn't have been able to talk back like that when your tattoo was working."

She tipped the vial in her hands, watching the ink churn inside. "I can't exactly call her up and try again, now can I?" she said, sarcastically.

"No, I guess not." I thought about the other things Sydney's tattoo stopped her from doing. It made sure she stayed in line, and that she was loyal, but there wasn't much of a way to test that. She might not be loyal to the Alchemists anymore, but without her memories she wasn't exactly loyal to us either. Her tattoo prevented her from getting sick, but there was no way to prove that either. The lily also kept her from talking about the supernatural with humans who had no idea it existed.

Now that one! That one we could prove. We just needed to go into the nearest city. While we were there we might also be able to find a decent tattoo artist, if she decided to use the ink Marcus had left her.

After explaining the idea to Sydney and her refusing, then coming around after Eddie said not many human's would believe her anyway, she agreed to try it. I was almost surprised she'd agreed, but at the same time, I wasn't. This was such a Sydney thing to do. Something the old Sydney would have agreed to. I think mostly I was just shocked she agreed to a plan I'd come up with.

###

It took about an hour for Sydney, Eddie and I to make it into the nearest populated area. Calling it a city seemed pushing it, but it was large, and urban, enough for our purposes. We'd gone over it again and again in the car, Sydney saying that maybe we shouldn't test it like this. That if someone found out about the Moroi it could be bad for everyone. I'd told her as long as we didn't try it on some superstitious villager we should be fine; the modern world just didn't have room for vampires outside of books and movies. And if worst came to worst I'd make them forget all about anything Sydney let slip. She didn't look pleased with that answer, but she didn't try to tuck and roll out the passenger door either, so I took that as a good sign.

"Stop," Eddie said, once we'd reached the outskirts of the city. He gestured to a few people propped against the side of an abandoned building. They were covered in dirt from head to toe and I'd bet anything they'd probably smell like they'd bathed in tequila this morning. Sydney looked at them with compassion in her eyes, but nodded her agreement. A couple of drunks were the perfect subjects for the experiment.

As we approached, one of the men said something in Spanish that I didn't understand. Eddie stood back, but looked like he was ready in case these men were able to stumble to their feet and start a fight. Sydney approached them cautiously, a hesitant smile brushing her lips. It was the first time I'd seen her smile since we'd rescued her. I told myself that was definitely a good sign.

"Hola," she said kindly, and then her words blended together in a mix of vowels that I couldn't decipher even if I'd learned how to speak Spanish. Apparently the Alchemists hadn't messed with her ability to speak every language ever.

The man's eyes widened as she spoke, drifting to me, then Eddie, before landing back on Sydney. Before she was even done speaking the man had already begun to laugh. The loud, peeling sounds of his laughter mixed with the other men's. "Your... spanish," the man slurred, clumsily, clearly not fluent in English, "is not... so good." Then he started to laugh again.

Sydney turned around, a bright smile on her face. "It worked," she whispered as she stepped back over to us. "It really worked!"

"So are you okay?" I asked gently. "I mean, you don't remember, do you?"

Her smile faded and I felt like the stupidest person who ever lived for bringing that up. Clearly it upset her that she couldn't remember.

"No," she said. "But I'm not completely terrified that you're going to suck me dry in the middle of the night, so that's something, at least. I guess the Alchemists put something in the tattoo to make sure I was scared of you all. To make sure I wouldn't fall back on old habits once they released me. I've noticed that fear fading since Marcus broke the tattoo."

"So you believe we're your friends now?" Eddie asked, a small smile on his face.

Sydney bit her lip and gestured for us to get back in the car. "I do," she said softly. "I don't remember you two, but I... I have this feeling, in my gut."

"That's probably the water," I said before thinking. "You shouldn't drink it."

To my surprise she laughed. I think it surprised her, too, from the way she blinked after the sound escaped her. "I feel like I should trust you," she finished, smiling a little still. "Maybe it's stupid, but I feel like I know you, even if I don't remember. Like déjà vu or something."

"That's a good way to put it," Eddie said, climbing into the back seat. "It's probably just like déjà vu for you. Meeting people you've already met, listening to Adrian's stupid jokes..."

"Having to look at Castile's stupid face," I added as I hopped in the drivers side.

Sydney didn't get in right away though. Instead she turned to look at the men leaning against the building once more, then she leaned down into the window. "You guys don't have any money on you, do you?"

I looked at the men and then back at her. "Sage, they're just gonna spend it on booze. I can practically smell the alcohol poisoning from here."

"Maybe," she said. "But... But don't they deserve the benefit of the doubt? Maybe all they need is a second chance. Someone to believe in them."

Her words ripped through me in a way she couldn't possibly realize. Maybe, maybe she would have if she remembered, but not like this. She couldn't know how she'd been that person for me. How she'd been the only one to believe in me when I needed it most. How she'd somehow made me believe that I could make something out of myself. Before I knew it I was digging out my wallet and handing over a three twenty dollar bills.

Sydney smiled gratefully at me and then handed each man a twenty, saying something to them in Spanish as they thanked her over and over. She hopped into the passenger seat and told me, "Now let's see if we can find a tattoo parlor."

It took us over an hour to find one, or one that was clean enough for Sydney's standards, at least. I didn't blame her for being picky after we'd walked into the first one and I'd crushed a cockroach under my shoe before we'd even crossed the threshold. Finally, though, we found one that seemed to follow some health and safety guidelines.

After Sydney explained to the tattooist, who thankfully spoke English, that she had her own blue ink she wanted him to use, he sat her down in his chair and asked her what design she'd like. Sydney looked to me and Eddie before shrugging her shoulders.

"I hadn't really thought about it," she admitted. "I just know I want it to be directly on top of this tattoo." She pointed to the lily on her cheek.

The guy nodded and pulled out a book full of designs for her to look through. There were all sorts of tattoos, all hand drawn. This guy was good if he'd done these all himself. Sydney spent twenty minutes flipping through the pages, but couldn't decide on anything. After awhile she flipped back to one of the pages in the middle.

"You like the heart?" the man asked, gesturing to a drawing of a spiraling heart on the page. "It's pretty for a pretty lady. But you sure you want it on your face?"

Sydney nodded in reply, but stared at the heart a little while longer. "This isn't exactly what I want, but it reminds me of something," she said quietly. "Some design I've seen before, but can't remember."

I narrowed my eyes at her, an idea striking me. "Do you have a piece of paper and a pen I could borrow?" I asked the tattoo artist. He gestured to a desk in the corner and I set to work drawing the design I hoped Sydney was talking about. When I was done I handed it to her. "Is this what you remember?"

Sydney took in the sketch of a Celtic heart, flames shooting from one side, with wide eyes. "Yes! This is it." She turned to me. "What is it?"

"You don't remember?"

She shook her head. "I remember seeing it before, but not what it means. Do you know? Did you draw it?"

I sat down in a plastic chair beside her. "Yeah, I did. For you, actually. A long time ago."

"You drew it for me?" she asked, bemused. "But why?"

"Because you liked it," I lied, not wanting to explain the complexities of our relationship in front of Eddie and the tattoo guy. "I drew it and then you wanted it. It doesn't really mean anything though."

"Oh," she said, still looking confused. I checked her aura and was surprised to find slight hints of disappointment there. "Well, I guess it's still really nice, even if it doesn't mean anything." She turned to the tattoo artist, showing him my sketch. "Can you do this one?" she asked.

He nodded and began prepping to start the tattoo. It took a long time to finish it, but when it was done something in my soul ached. There she was, Sydney Sage, love of my life, staring back at me with the fiery heart I created for her on her cheek. And she didn't even know what it meant.

"What do you think?" she asked, and I wondered how much pain she must be in. I'd never gotten a tattoo before, but I'd imagine getting one on your face would have to hurt afterward. Her cheek was red, her skin irritated and small drops of blood peaked out around the new tattoo.

"It looks like we need to buy some of that tattoo cream he's selling," Eddie said, always the boy scout. "You'll need it later."

Sydney turned to me and smiled, wincing just a little when she did. "What do you think? Does it do your drawing justice?"

I couldn't help myself. I slowly reached out and brushed the tips of my fingers along her jaw, careful to avoid any sensitive spots. The urge to heal her sparked deep inside me, but I held back, not wanting to disrupt this new trust we'd somehow achieved today. "Beautiful," I murmured, barely noticing the indigo heart on her cheek.

Sydney sucked in a breath and I dropped my hand before she could pull away or tell me to stop. "Okay," she said after a few moments. "We should get back."

I pulled out some cash to pay the guy with, giving him a good tip for being able to nail my design like that. With a start, Sydney seemed to realize that I was paying him.

"I'll pay you back," she told me firmly, then wavered a little. "Once... once I get some money."

I shook her off. "Don't worry about it. I have more than enough and if it'll keep you safe, than there isn't anything better I can think to spend it on."

She met my gaze and held it, her golden eyes reeling me in the way they always did. "Thank you," she said. She looked confused about something. She was starting to look confused whenever she looked at me. Maybe she was remembering, I let myself hope.

Rose and Dimitri were up by the time we got back to the safe house. We'd stopped and bought some more food, mostly of the junk variety, on our way back and they helped us carry it in.

"You got your tattoo sealed?" Rose smiled at Sydney as they put the groceries they were carrying down on the kitchen table.

"I figured it was the smart thing to do," she said, smiling back. "Just in case, you know?"

Rose nodded and inspected the tattoo. "Cool heart," she said. "Not what I would have expected you to pick, but really cool."

Sydney blinked. "Adrian drew it," she said. "What would you have expected me to pick?"

Rose glanced in my direction as I sorted through the bags of food for anything that needed to be refrigerated. I smirked at her, waiting to hear her answer.

"Oh, I don't know," she said. "I guess you don't really seem like the tattoo type. But Adrian drew it, huh?" She smiled knowingly at me. "That makes sense."

"Why would that make sense?" Sydney asked, at a total loss. She didn't remember anything about me or our relationship—other than the heart, apparently.

"Because it's such a badass design," I covered with an arrogant grin. "It only makes sense that I would've come up with it."

Sydney smiled at me and I counted my blessings that Marcus was able to get here so quickly and help her. I had to remember to be nicer to him in the future. "Oh, of course," she joked, then stroked her cheek lightly. "It really is a beautiful design. Thank you for drawing it for me. I would have hated to have something stupid on my cheek forever."

She dug through the bags and found the tube of tattoo cream we'd bought. "I should go put some of this on. Don't need this to get infected." Then she disappeared down the hallway.

"So..." Rose said, a slow smile spreading across her face. "You designed her tattoo, huh?"

I shook my head. "She remembered something I drew a long time ago. As in, she remembered." I smiled. "I think breaking the tattoo worked, Rose. See how good she's doing? She's okay. She doesn't remember me, but it might just take some time. At this rate it might even happen tonight, or tomorrow."

###

I winced as pain shot across my cheek, but kept rubbing on the cream we'd purchased at the tattoo parlor. The cream Adrian had purchased.

He'd just pulled out a wad of cash, thoughtlessly handing over the money for the tattoo, like it didn't matter. I knew I'd have to pay him back for that. I didn't want to be his problem, I wasn't sure how I'd ended up being his problem at all. I didn't remember him, but somehow he'd been the one to show up in my cell at reeducation, calling my name over and over again, trying to snap me out of whatever spell I was under.

I felt horrible about the way I'd treated him, all of them. Once the drugs had worn off I'd freaked out, screaming at the very people who'd saved me from that awful, awful place. I could still remember the ridiculous loyalty I'd felt towards the Alchemists, even though I knew exactly what they'd done to me in reeducation. Thank god, Marcus had shown up. It was like breaking the tattoo took all of the confusion away. The second the compulsion was gone it wasn't a question of being loyal or siding with the enemy. It was about saving myself and whatever I needed to do to keep myself safe. At the moment, I was safest with these vampires. Marcus told me that I used to trust them, and I believed him. There was something familiar about these people, some instinct that told me I was safe. I'd felt it the very moment Adrian had walked into my cell, despite being drugged. I'd thought that it was just compulsion and trickery, but now... Now I was starting to think it was because I really was safe with them and somehow my subconscious knew it.

I coated my cheek thoroughly before washing my hands and stepping back to look at the new tattoo. A beautiful blue Celtic heart swirled across the gleaming lily, stamping it out. I'd never liked that lily anyway. The heart was much prettier, even if it stood out a tad too boldly on my pale skin.

Adrian had drawn it after I'd told him I remembered a design I'd seen once. It was like he knew exactly what I was talking about. He'd picked up a piece of paper and drew the exact heart I'd been imagining. It was something he'd drawn before, a design he'd created, for me. I'd gotten so excited when he said that, I didn't even really understand why. I think it was because I'd had such a hard time picking a tattoo I liked that when I remembered the heart and Adrian said it was mine I thought it must mean something to me. He claimed it didn't, but I wasn't so sure. There was something so familiar about it, it had to mean something. It had to. I barely remembered anything at all, but this heart just pops into my head? No. It meant something, I knew it did.

I hoped it did.

I braced my hands against the sink and took a few deep breaths, trying to work past the mental barriers in my mind. Rose said that it made sense Adrian drew the tattoo. What did that mean? If it made sense that Adrian drew the tattoo then we must have been close. We must have spent time together. And he'd had no problem paying for my tattoo, or the food we'd purchased, or giving me the money for those homeless men. He'd handed it right over, no problem. He was also the most vocal about my recovery. When Marcus was here he spoke to Adrian when he wasn't speaking directly to me. Adrian was the center of my missing memories, I just knew it the same way I knew the sun was warm and the earth was round, but what I didn't know was how to make myself remember.

I glanced back up in the mirror, looking at the tattoo. I could still feel the heat of Adrian's fingers on my cheek. Still picture the look on his face when he'd looked at the heart he'd designed. My stomach churned a little when I remembered the sad look in his eyes, the look he gave me every time he asked me if I remembered. Every time I told him I didn't. More than anything, I wanted to remember, just so I could make that look go away forever.

###

Turned out, I had severely overestimated how well breaking the tattoo worked. Sure, Sydney wasn't scared of us anymore. In fact, each day that passed she grew a little more comfortable around me, her aura a little brighter. We joked around, teased each other, we even stayed up late one night talking about what had happened to her in reeducation, but she still didn't remember me.

"We must have been really good friends," Sydney said. "I feel like I could tell you anything. It's a shame I don't remember how we used to be."

I still hadn't explained the details of our relationship to her. Or let anyone else try to explain it, even though she'd hinted at wanting to know the details more than once. It seemed kinder to say we were good friends and leave it at that. Then she didn't have to feel guilty about not remembering me, or feel pressured into pursuing a relationship. I didn't want her to worry about that, especially since she was worried enough about remembering things.

"I just want to remember what I've done this past year," she complained. "I feel... I don't know, violated, I guess. And what's worse is that no matter how hard I try, it's like staring at a blank wall. There's nothing there."

"But you've been remembering things," I reminded her, trying to keep her positive.

"Little things," she corrected. "Little, insignificant things that don't mean anything. I can't remember what I did, or who I was friends with. What you meant to me, er, or what anyone meant to me." Her cheeks flushed and I had to stifle a grin, but I didn't push her. She sank back against the couch and closed her eyes. "I hate not remembering."

"I know you do," I said, serious once again.

"It's like I'm some totally new person, but I don't remember how I got to be her!" She opened her eyes and they were glassy for a moment before she blinked. "Will you tell me?" she asked softly. "Please," she added when I hesitated. "Please, Adrian. I need you to tell me who I was and how I got that way."

So I told her. I couldn't resist, not when she was practically in tears and begging me. I hated seeing her that hurt, so I told her everything. Well, almost everything. I left out the parts about our relationship, but I did tell her how we had become unlikely friends. I told her about discovering she was a witch and about a million questions followed. I answered what I could and told her that her old history teacher, Jackie Terwilliger, had helped with her rescue and would come visit soon.

Jackie had planned on coming right away, but once we realized Sydney's memory was gone we'd decided to wait and see how things developed. Over the past week Jackie had been working on some sort of spell that might release Sydney's memories, but she was having trouble finding one that would work. Of course, Sydney being Sydney said she was willing to try anything, even magic, to get her memories back. I promised I'd call Jackie in the morning and let her know Sydney was up for it.

Talking about magic took up most of the night, but eventually we moved on to her learning about Marcus and tracking him down. He'd already told her everything he knew about the Alchemists so I skipped all that and told her how, over the time we'd been in Palm Springs she'd become friendly with Jill and Eddie and even Angeline.

"Jill," Sydney said experimentally, testing the name out on her tongue. "Jill... Mastrano."

I smiled. "Yeah, that's her. See, you remembered her name. You'll overcome whatever block they put in your head soon enough."

She sighed. "I just wish soon enough would come sooner."

###

I called Jackie the next morning and she sounded delighted that Sydney was doing better. And two days later I was woken by the sound of voices coming from the living room. I stumbled down the hall, bleary eyed and still asleep enough that trying to pull my T-shirt on was proving too much for me.

"Thank you for coming," Sydney was saying to a woman. Her back was to me but I still recognized her immediately.

"Jackie," I said with a smile, finally shrugging my shirt on. Sydney's cheeks were flaming when I glanced back at her, so I assumed she'd gotten a good look at me shirtless. The rosy pink color spreading across her face and neck almost made me wish I'd forgotten the shirt altogether. Knowing she still reacted to me the way she used to was encouraging, but dangerous. It was hard enough to keep my hands off of her most days, and all of the blushing and staring she'd been doing the past couple days wasn't helping. But I wasn't going to broach that subject, not while she didn't remember me.

"Adrian," Jackie smiled, pulling me into an unexpected hug. "Are you doing alright?"

"I'm doing fine," I said, pulling back. "Are you alright? The flight was okay? No broomstick malfunctions or anything?"

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Sydney's brown eyes go wide.

"He's kidding, dear," Jackie said, with a pat to Sydney's arm. "Don't worry. There's no reason to fly a broomstick when first class serves mimosas."

I laughed a little at that, but Sydney just sank down onto the couch looking like she couldn't decide between rolling her eyes or sighing in relief.

"Are you sure you're up for this, Sydney?" Jackie asked delicately. "If you're not ready or don't want to..."

"Don't want to what?" I asked, suddenly lost.

"Jackie," Sydney said, sounding more than a little uncomfortable to be using her teacher's first name, "says she has a spell that might help me."

"It might," Jackie nodded. "It's the best chance to help clear up any magical roadblock in your mind, but even if it doesn't work completely, it will still help. We'll just give it a little extra oomph and hope that does the trick."

Sydney regarded her teacher with such wariness I had to laugh. "Relax, Sage. Extra oomph is not code for frogs legs and bat skeletons. It's just herbs and plants and stuff." An idea struck. "You used to be really good at all this stuff, you know. Maybe you could help with the spell or something. Maybe that'll jog your memory a little."

Sydney agreed—curiosity winning out over fear, just like it always did with her—and they moved into the kitchen so Jackie could show her how to chop grass into little tiny pieces and then weigh it. Or that's what it looked like, anyway. From the instructions being given, it sounded way more complicated than that.

"Are we sure this is a good idea?" Rose asked me once Sydney and Jackie were in full spell casting mode and weren't paying us any attention.

Sydney's eyes were narrowed as she chopped and measured and then measured again. She always looked stunning when performing magic, and prepping a spell wasn't any different. I could still see the powerful, graceful warrior underneath all of that focus and brain power, and she was beautiful. Her aura glowed a brilliant yellow, patches of rich purple here and there.

"Adrian?" Rose said, snapping her fingers in front of my face. When I finally peeled my eyes away from Sydney, Rose looked irritated. "I said, are we sure this is a good idea? We don't know that much about human magic. And everything we do know comes from this woman." She gestured back at Jackie with a shrug of her shoulder.

"I don't know anything about magic," Eddie said. "But I know Ms. Terwilliger. She might be a little wacky, but I don't think she'd do anything to hurt Sydney. Or anyone, for that matter."

"I've been around this stuff," I told them both. "I've seen Sydney cast spells to do all kinds of things. This will be a piece of cake for them. Just have a little faith. If there's anything I know about Sydney it's that you give her the resources she needs and she'll come through for you every time. She can do this."

Dimitri, who was watching what was happening in the kitchen, surprised me by saying, "I don't doubt it. She looks motivated enough to do just about anything."

He wasn't wrong about that, I just hadn't expected him to notice the determined gleam in Sydney's eye as she mixed herbs and boiled tonics and whatever else the spell required. My little warrior, fighting her way back to me. When the potion was ready and Jackie had helped Sydney with a few of the more ritualistic details of the spell, like lighting incense and circling Sydney three times in smoke, Sydney took a steadying breath and then brought the cup to her lips, tilting her head back and chugging it.

We all stood there with bated breath, waiting not so patiently for any sign it worked. Even Jackie, who took the cup from Sydney, gently guiding her into a kitchen chair. Sydney put her hands on her knees, concentrating, searching out her memories. She sat that way nearly five minutes before the first tears began to fall.

"It didn't work," she whispered, voice thick and choked with tears. She hadn't broken down once in the week since we'd rescued her from reeducation, but this was, apparently, her breaking point. She looked up, her golden eyes brimming with tears she wasn't even trying to contain. They leaked out and over her fiery heart tattoo. "It didn't work."

I was on my knees next to her within a heartbeat, wrapping her in my arms. She pulled me closer, burying her face in my shoulder, her hot tears spilling onto my shirt.

"How could it not work?" she cried. There was so much pain in her voice, so much despair, that my own tears mixed with hers. "Why can't I remember you? It's not fair!"

I pulled back to look at her, smoothing her hair the way I knew used to calm her, but it didn't work.

"They took you from me, Adrian!" she went on, practically yelling. Her eyes were red and puffy and shining and it broke my heart. "They took you, I know they did. I can't remember. I can't remember anything!"

I grabbed her face, forcing her to look at me. "You don't need to remember," I told her. "You don't have to remember a goddamn thing. We'll make new memories."

And then I did what was either going to be the smartest or dumbest thing I'd ever done in my entire life. I crushed my lips to hers and kissed her like I've never kissed anyone before, even her. I kissed her with every ounce of passion and anger and frustration I had in me. I kissed her like there weren't four other people in the room watching us. I kissed her until she finally pulled back panting, lips bruised, looking at me with startled brown eyes.

###

The spell must have had a delayed reaction, but I'd always say it was Adrian's kiss that sent the first memory careening past the roadblock and into my mind.

It wasn't of anything important, no declaration of love or near death experience. It was of Adrian meeting me in Amberwood's parking lot. He was wearing a blue button down shirt and jeans, his shoes were spotted with fresh paint so I knew he'd just come from Carlton. It was early, eleven, lunch time. He texted me to meet him and I'd wandered out to the parking lot to find him leaning against his Mustang, a coffee from Spencer's in his hand. I'd grabbed the coffee with one hand, wrapping the other around his neck and kissing him, uncaring of whether someone spotted us. I even remembered the taste of his lips when he kissed me, minty but still bitter, and I assumed he'd gotten a coffee for himself as well.

The second memory hit me harder. Adrian pleading with me, trying to make me understand how he felt about me. I was standing in his living room, my hands in his, shaking as I tried desperately to remind myself that being with him was wrong. The third was of the two of us, tangled in his sheets, breathing heavily, but unbelievably satisfied.

They went on that way, one memory after the other, never in any particular order. Some were about Jill or Eddie or just about me, something I'd done on my own. But most were about Adrian. All of the really good ones were about Adrian.

It felt like a million memories, an entire lifetime, passed before I pulled back from the kiss, startled by the onslaught in my head, but almost immediately I regretted the decision. I remembered everything now. Including how long it had been since the last time I'd kissed him.

"Sydney?" A voice to my right stopped me before I could press myself back into the warmth of Adrian's embrace. I turned to see the cautious expression on my teacher's face and, unexpectedly, I practically launched myself out of the chair and into her arms.

"Ms. Terwilliger," I cried as she wrapped me in a hug I desperately needed. There was so much I owed to her and I couldn't begin to imagine how I'd ever repay any of it. Adrian had explained all she and my coven sisters had done to get me out of reeducation. "Thank you, thank you. Oh god, thank you!"

A chair scratched across the dusty wooden floor and Ms. Terwilliger let me go so I could turn to see Adrian heaving himself up off his knees. I knew that Rose and Eddie and Dimitri were standing behind him the way you know there's furniture in a room without actually looking at it. They were there, but they weren't something I could focus on. Not when Adrian was breathing heavily, his emerald eyes ringed in red from crying. Tears streaked down his face. "Sydney?" he breathed, and there were so many answers to the question in his voice.

I answered the only way I knew how. I threw myself at him, arms and legs locking around his body, cementing me to him. I felt him wobble a little at the suddenness of my attack, but it didnt matter. It didn't matter if we'd fallen back onto the floor. I couldn't have spoken if I tried, but there was no need. My mouth could convey everything I needed it to without words. All the love and pain and fear and relief. Everything I'd just remembered poured through me in that kiss. The pressure of his lips, of his hands squeezing my hips, it hurt, but in a good way. I needed him to kiss me harder.

He gasped, pulling away before I was ready. But since I wasn't sure if I'd ever be ready, I figured now was as good a time as any to breathe. "Are you okay?" he whispered, breathing erratically. I nodded, but pressed my cheek to his, refusing to put any distance between us. His cheek was stubbly, like he hadn't shaved in a while. He slid his hand up my spine, still holding me against him. "Do you remember?"

I leaned back and he kept us steady so I could look at him. Brown hair fell across his forehead and into his eyes, clearly suffering from a lack of styling products. I realized that he hadn't once done his hair since he'd saved me. His eyes were still red, but there was a hopeful gleam in them. I grinned and leaned down to his ear, whispering one of the many things I'd remembered.

Adrian made a shocked choking noise that morphed into a laugh that was warm and genuine and made my heart race, or maybe that was the memory making my heart beat faster. "I think I might recall that." He smiled wickedly at me. "We should probably go reenact it, make sure your memory's at a hundred percent."

I giggled and kissed him, wanting to just stay like this forever. But of course we couldn't stay, wrapped around each other in the middle of a kitchen in Mexico, forever. Especially not once Eddie cleared his throat.

I let go of Adrian reluctantly, but wasted no time hugging Eddie. "Thank you," I whispered, holding him tightly for a few more seconds before finally letting go and looking around the room. "Thank you all, I can't tell you how much I appreciate what you went through to help me. And then I was... I didn't even remember you."

"Don't worry about," Eddie said, giving my shoulder and squeeze. "We would have done anything to get you back. You're family." He smiled. "Besides, Jill probably would have killed us if we hadn't."

"Jill!" I said, hitting a palm against my forehead. "Where's Jill? Is she okay? If you guys are all here, than who's with Jill?"

Rose laughed and came over to give me a hug. "Don't worry, Syd. Jill's safe and sound back at Court." At my blank stare she added, "Lissa got the law changed while you were gone. She's safe, really."

"So..." I said, glancing around at everyone. "Palm Springs is done? The mission's over?"

Adrian smiled and rubbed the pad of his thumb over the heart on my cheek, the fiery heart he made for me the night he told me I was his flame in the dark. "It's all over. Jill's safe, you're safe. We can go anywhere you want, do anything you want."

"But what about the Alchemists?" I asked. They were still after me, of course. They were still after Marcus and he'd escaped them years ago. Thinking of Marcus, I made a mental note to get in touch to thank him for everything and to let him know I was alright now.

"We stay off their radar," Adrian said. "And we keep moving for now."

"I'm working on a plan to keep them out of your hair," Ms. Terwilliger interjected. "Breaking you out of the bunker was illuminating for me and the rest of the Stelle. We've been talking to a few other covens, sharing the information we've learned, and we think it might just be time to let the supernatural world know we exist and that they shouldn't mess with us."

"You think that's wise?" I asked, concern for her and Maude and the rest of the coven trickling through me.

Ms. Terwilliger smiled. "I think there's a whole world out there we haven't explored yet. I've spoken with the Moroi queen and she's agreed to a meeting. There's a lot our races could accomplish if we work together, and you and Adrian are an example of that. And, besides, the second we show up the Alchemists will have too much on their plate to even consider wasting resources tracking down some teenage girl."

I raised my hand, my fingers grazing over the newly inked tattoo on my left cheek, considering that for a moment, considering all of the possibilities that would open up for me if the Alchemists weren't a part of my life.

"Are you okay?" Adrian asked.

I nodded, a smile breaking out over my face. "Yeah, I think I might be. Finally."