BioWare owns all but what I made up. Just a thank you to BioWare and Mr. Gaider for creating a world where I could do that, since I haven't given them a shout out in a while : )
So, I had to give tribute to, as Cynder Jenn said, one of the best sword fights in cinematic history. Night HunterMGS helped me set it up. And yes, I promise this is the Kai, Zev chapter, really, I mean it, anybody want a peanut? Thank you all who have been patiently waiting for your rascal lovin'.
And a LOL shout out to Shanda 27, I didn't even think of The Godfather for that message to Bann Loren, but yeah! My subconscious must have been thinking it for me, and a shout out to Phoenix Fire Lady for her ideas on a meeting with Rajed and Zaeed. Even though by now they have met at least briefly while on the road to Highever, I wanted to do a meeting with Rajed and Zaeed with Kai. Rajed has always been shy, and his life as a Crow would have been horrible to be under one such as Vimaro, he would probably be expecting Kai to toss him out, No matter what example she has set so far.
This is a really long chapter, my longest yet, but I didn't think you would mind considering this has been one long tease for this. I hope you find it is not only worth it to read for entertainment, but for the reward you all know has been coming. So here it is. The chapter you have all been waiting for. You can skip to near the end to read the naughty bits before you read the rest, first, LOL! : )
Thank you all for your support, reviews, and ideas, I am just amazed, and in awe of you all, really, you guys just make me smile. On with the show!
Blessings!
After their sparring session, Kai and her little entourage made their way to the room where Rajed was resting and recuperating. It took a moment to realize Wynne had joined them to see to her patient. They all filed into the room and found Rajed sitting up reading with one shoulder heavily bandaged where his left arm had been. His face lit up when his brother walked into the room, followed by Naseel. When Kai walked into the room, he blushed and looked down, well, so much for making him feel more comfortable, she thought. Wynne followed Zev and went to Rajed's bedside and started looking at his bandages.
"How is my obnoxious little brother today?" Zaeed grinned at Rajed, giving him a gentle punch in his unwounded shoulder. Rajed smiled at him and spoke so softly that Kai couldn't tell what he said in reply. She did notice that he kept looking out of the corner of his eye at her while they spoke, "All right, mocoso, our Scathach has something she wants to ask you, and some ideas depending on your answer." Zaeed grinned at both of them.
Kai cleared her throat, she felt uncomfortable for making Rajed uncomfortable, "Rajed, first I am so sorry you got hurt so badly. It was my responsibility to see what was going on with Erys, to be more circumspect, I failed you in that way, and your brother too." Kai cut off any protests from those in the room with a raising of her hand, "So, what I am about to ask you, I really have no right to, but I am hoping you will think about it, at least. I would like you to stay with the Scath. You have no doubt seen the tattoos, if no one has explained what they are?" Kai looked and Rajed was just staring at her, she felt her heart sink. She couldn't blame him if he laughed in her face and threw her offer back at her along with a storming rage. Kai bit her lip, but she saw Rajed nod.
"I know what they are, my lady, Scathach. You still want me to stay," His voice was quiet, even awestruck. He looked at his brother and Naseel as if to confirm that he was hearing her correctly. They both nodded at him, smiling, "I thought..."
"You thought I would cast you out?" Kai was astonished. It never occurred to her that he would actually think she would toss him out in the cold. She should have expected his belief considering their treatment in Vimaro's house, she supposed, but to her, they were people, not tools. Kai smiled widely at him, "I would never do that to any of you, Rajed, not ever." She reached out and grabbed his hand, and she was elated when he gripped her own in response while smiling that shy smile of his.
"See here, brother," Zaeed pulled out his and Rajed's papers, handing Rajed's to him. Rajed's eyes got big and then he smiled more, his eyes shining when he looked at her. Kai felt herself flushing, she pressed on before she blushed so much she couldn't speak. She explained her plans for Rajed's training, if he was willing to try it, if he was willing to take a chance on her as his leader and stay.
Rajed simply put her hand to his lips and kissed it, the blush on his cheeks making his dark skin darker, but he kept his eyes on her instead of looking away in bashfulness, "I will stay, you will have my one arm as long as it is useful, my lady, my Scathach." He smiled shyly at her, "I am yours to command." He looked at his brother, and then at Wynne, "Can I get my vallaslin now?" Wynne smiled at him and nodded, while they all laughed.
"Well, mocoso, you get to try a new weapon made just for you. If I had known that was how to get the Scathach's attention, I would have chopped my own arm off." Zaeed gently punched his little brother on the arm again causing Rajed punch his brother back as he laughed.
"Thank you, Rajed, When the over-protective Wynne lets you come out and play, we can start your training, yes?" Wynne wrinkled her nose at Kai and huffed at her. Kai laughed, briefly touched the back of Rajed's hand to her cheek, and left him to spend time with Naseel and Zaeed.
"Well, my dear Kai, you have done your good deed for the day, no?" Zev grinned at her, "Perhaps now is a good time for some relaxation and down time, my friend. You get so little of it you should grab it when you can."
Kai laughed at him, "You mean sparring with my one of my Scath is not relaxing?" She looked out of the corner of her eye at him to catch his return grin, "Perhaps you are right, what did you have in mind?"
He gave her his cocky, mischievous smile, "Well, I could recommend certain activities..."
She stopped walking and put a finger to his lips grinning at him, "You are totally incorrigible, and a complete rascal."
He kissed her fingertip, "My dear friend, you wound me, it is you who are incorrigible, I was merely going to suggest we go out to your favorite garden with the twins and your brother, if he is of a mind. We could do, what was it you called it when you told me about it at camp one night while we were on watch, Cousland Camaraderie Day? We could sit and read and relax." Zev grinned at her, and she just stared at him for a moment. The man always surprised her, the things he remembered.
"It sounds perfect. Shall we divvy up the tasks so we can meet in the garden?" Kai smiled at him.
"Si, I will go and get the food, if you will collect your brother and the twins, maybe something for us to sit on in the grass?" He smiled and saluted and turned and left toward the kitchens.
She just watched him go. How was it possible that she had been so lucky to have her life filled with wonderful men, her father, her brother, Alistair, and Zevran, Fortune favored her indeed. She shouldn't forget Sten and Oghren either.
"At least I am not last on that list, my love," Alistair's voice laughed in her ear.
"Alistair, I wanted to ask you something." Kai started walking back to the room, "I know you said you wanted me to have a physical relationship, but that was a while ago. And Zevran and I are close friends again, but he had not reminded me of my offer in the chapel, so..."
"Thank the Maker I hated you two being at odds."
"I know, but Ali, I still think you haven't thought about this you know, I mean, you can see and feel what I do. So, really I think that your idea is a bad idea, no matter who it is, wouldn't that be kind of creepy for you, not to mention for me?" Kai felt herself flushing.
"Ah, my love, I can block you out so that I know nothing, remember the day of the funeral? I didn't know despite your stress that you hit Isolde, twice. I was going to leave you completely alone, but I..."
"Couldn't help but check in, don't you worry that you will do that in this case? Really Ali, I'm fine, I can live without, well, you know."
"Licking lampposts in winter? No, you can't, nor should you. Kai, my love you could live to be an old woman, are you really telling me that you want to spend the next, what, fifty to sixty or so years without someone? Or do you really think I would be selfish enough to let jealousy keep you from having a real world life, that is, if you don't get yourself killed trying to usurp Anora. I do wish you wouldn't put yourself in danger, since I can't defend you, and I can't help but watch while you go through said fighting and danger. But I think we can manage, well you having, you know. It's certainly is a different kind of situation, but my beloved, we still meet in the Fade. And that brings me to the other thing, besides the waking up wanting, and yes I know you do after we meet, you do notice I am not allowed into every dream. And some nights you don't remember your dreams even if I could be in them."
"Any dream with you would be remembered, my love." Kai turned the corner walking to the doorway of the hallway to their quarters.
"Be that as it may, we don't get to meet every night, even if that were fulfilling enough for you physically, which it's not. I told you what I think, I love you, and nothing changes that. It would make me the cruelest person to deny you a life in that plane. I can't and won't do that. So, my position hasn't changed. Zevran is a good man, but if you prefer, you could always try and seduce Sten or Oghren instead." She heard him laughing.
"Huh, even when he was stone cold drunk and thought I was hitting on him, Oghren turned me down, he is mad for his Felsi, and he should be. They are good for each other in a weird, disgusted-with, but still-mad-for each other way. I don't get that, but it makes more sense to me than him and Branka, and if it works for them..." Kai gave him a mental shrug, "As to Sten, ah, yeah, no. I still don't know if he was just shining Morrigan on about having to wear armor and have a hot poker to get his attention when he started to 'nuzzle.'" She could hear him laughing as if he was holding his sides and she couldn't help but join him. "You are making a lot of assumptions about Zev, though. He may talk seduction on every breath, but he has never been anything but a gentleman. He may not be interested in me in that way, I did turn him down once long ago, maybe one turn down is all it takes."
"Sounds like wishful thinking to me. Just do me one favor, don't tell me he is a better lover than I am."
"Ali, that is not possible, what we have is more than sex, we are part of the same soul, remember what boogity boo lady, I mean Andraste, told us? I am afraid I will be disappointed with anyone else." Kai walked down the carpeted hallway to the bedrooms.
"Nice, but you still don't get out of considering what I have said. If you do, well, start something, just picture a lamppost covered in snow in your head. I'll make sure I am gone and preferably nowhere near your mother, I might blush and then..." He mentally mock shuddered, making her laugh. She put her hand out towards the door to open it, "Uh oh, speaking of your mother, she wants to know what I am finding so funny, later, my love" and he was gone again.
Kai opened the door to find Fergus napping with the twins, she was about to step quietly back out, but Fergus woke up and blearily looked up at her and smiled. She explained what Zev had planned, Fergus grinned and nodded. He helped her gather a blanket and instructed a servant to get pillows for outside and to set them up along with a table and chairs. Fergus went to the library to grab a book after he got Kai and the twins settled. Zevran met them in the garden, and it was just what Kai had needed. It was all so lovely, 'live, love, laugh,' as the door said.
They stayed in their retreat until the sundial showed it was time to go and eat at the dining hall. Kai snuck off to feed the twins first before taking them to the dining hall for some mushed food possibilities. Fiona took over, so Kai could eat, setting them in little high chairs that had belonged to Fergus and herself. They seemed particularly fond of mushed peas and carrots, but got more in their hair, down their fronts, and up their noses than in their mouths. The twins, already full from Mommy feeding them first, were starting to get fussy, so Fiona and Wynne grabbed them to take them off for a bath.
Kai pushed her own plate back and went to the Great Hall. Zev said something about the chest of Vimaro's papers and trinkets being there. Kai figured now was as good a time as any to take a look. Though truth be told, her Antivan was a little lacking as was her Orlesian. Her old tutor would be appalled, and she could almost hear the old sage chastising her. She walked in to find Leli already working on what she guessed was another ballad, causing Kai to grimace. She only hoped it wasn't about her this time.
She found the chest and pulled it over in front of a chair so she could sit down and opened it up. It held a smaller box, locked, and stacks of parchment. The documents were in Antivan, Ferelden, and Orlesian, Kai sorted the piles. She put aside all the ones in Ferelden for herself to go over. The ones in Orlesian she asked Leli to look pretty bard obliged and walked over to sit on the floor and go through them. Fiona and Wynne brought the twins in and put a blanket down on the floor next to Kai and Leli, then began a conversation about magic. Morrigan soon entered the room with Fergus, and the two of them went to a quiet dark corner of the hall, Kai grinned at that. Shale, Sten, and Oghren came in on their heels along with the dwarven checker board, the bag with the pieces, a pony keg, mugs, and cookies.
Kai wondered where Zev had gotten to, she really wanted him to look at the papers in Antivan. Otherwise, she was going to have to muddle through them with a stilted childlike reading, and she might miss something. So far, the papers dealt with contracts already fulfilled. Vimaro apparently liked to relive the kills his Crows had made, for along with the contracts were notes written in Antivan describing the sometimes horrible ends that their marks had suffered. She could at least get the gist, even with her limited abilities to translate, they made her feel ill.
She decided to turn her attention to the little locked box. She picked the lock with a lock pick she kept stashed in her boot, a habit she had picked up while traveling during the Blight. The chest opened up and in it were different objects, a bag of marbles, love letters, a scrap of lace, a wooden ball with the constellations painted on it, a ragged well-loved doll, a string of dirty buttons. They looked to be beloved keepsakes, and she carefully and respectfully pulled out each and every one. These must have been treasures that Vimaro stripped from his Crows, he took precious things in cruelty and coldness to make his Crows less like people and more like tools.
Kai felt her eyes swimming with tears, and her heart filled with anger. If she could resurrect Vimaro and kill him again, she would, a thousand time over. She was still taking out objects when Zev came in with a chest bearing the Calvados cognac. He must have been digging it out of storage. Kai smiled at him as he poured her a glass after warming it with a taper, he was so damn thoughtful. He must have figured she would need it to go through Vimaro's things, she felt dirty just touching them.
She smiled at him in thanks, "Zev, would you mind looking at these papers, my Antivan is, well, lacking. I doubt there is anything really important in them. So far what Leli and I have found isn't all that exciting, vicious and cruel, but not exciting. I just don't want to leave anything undone that might put my Scath in danger." He nodded and started reading, taking the stack of papers with him as he sat on the floor next to the twins.
Kai continued to take out items from the box, she thought she had hit the bottom as it was dark but her fingers brushed something soft. She reached in and pulled out a pair of beautiful, dark green, leather gloves. They were a woman's gloves, made for dainty long fingered hands, and were lined in soft, gray, rabbit fur. The expert embroidery picked out in thread delicate vines, flowers, and little birds and rabbits bordering the edges of the cuffs. They were exquisite, and they made her heart hurt. They were Dalish, and except that they were more intricate and made for a woman, they were just like the gloves she had given Zev so long ago, the ones that she had bought for him from the Dalish in the Brecilian Forest during the Blight. She'd bought them as a gift for him after he had told her of his dead mother's gloves and how they had been taken from him as a little boy new to the Crows. She stole a glance at him and was surprised to find him just holding a piece of paper and staring into space.
She touched him on the shoulder and he startled, "Zev, are you all right?" His mask was in place, and he just nodded, "Zev, I think I found something that belongs to you." She smiled and handed him the gloves. He took them and looked at them, and then at her, his face was unreadable. Then without a word, he got up clutching the paper and the gloves and left the hall. Kai looked at Leli, who shrugged, Kai cocked an eyebrow and looked at the twins, and Leli nodded and motioned towards the door.
Kai found he had quite a head start on her, and she had to practically run to keep up. He went straight to their room and went in. By the time she got there and opened the door, it was to find him throwing his things into a bag. She felt her heart squeezing painfully in her chest. So, he had finally decided to leave. She stood with her back to the door without really seeing, while he rummaged through chests. Her mind was going a mile a minute. He'd not been like this earlier, if anything he was more affectionate, more at ease. Kai decided to go against her own policy. He was going to have to talk to her before he was free to leave. She locked the door and slipped the key into the pocket of her leggings.
He spun around when he heard the key twist in the lock, "Give me the key, Warden" his voice was cold and biting.
"No. Are we not friends again, Zev, what's wrong? You were fine only a moment ago, and now you're packing, what did you find in his papers that upset you so?" Kai looked at him, she felt as if she were fighting a battle, and she didn't know the enemy.
"It is not your concern, there is no being friends with me, Warden, you should have killed me when you had the chance. Since you will not, I will take myself away from you." He started going through one of the armoires closest to him, Kai flinched – his voice was the cold assassin voice she had heard him use only rarely around her.
Kai went over to the table and picked up the piece of parchment sitting under his mother's gloves. She began reading it, cursing her slow reading in Antivan. When she was done, she looked up to find him staring at her, his amber eyes shuttered and his face set like stone, "Do you understand now, Warden?"
Kai merely stared at him, "It says that Vimaro had a contract with Taliesin to make you kill Rinna." Kai shrugged, "That's if I am reading it right. It says he wanted to break you. He apparently hoped you would be shattered and would get yourself killed on your next contract out of guilt when you found out her 'betrayal' wasn't true. Which means Vimaro was planning on a win-win for himself. You were a threat, too good to stay in the lower ranks, too good not to be a master. You could have fought him and been the master of your cell, so, he involved your supposed friend Taliesin. When it was all over, Taliesin would be Vimaro's second, and?"
"And, and, Warden, is that all you have to say? I am nothing more than what he says I am, look what I did to the woman I loved. I was manipulated, to have been manipulated by Vimaro was to be expected, he was a monster, it was what he did. To be played like a cheap fiddle by Taliesin, that is not, he and I had been together since we were boys. He protected me from the others when I first came to the Crows. If he could kill the woman I loved so coldly, and I could let him, then I am no better than either of them, and perhaps less trustworthy." Zevran turned back from her and began to continue going through one of the armoires.
"Zev you know that is not true..." Kai jerked to a stop when he slammed his hand down on the table with such force that everything on it jumped and rattled.
Then, it struck her. He was afraid, afraid as he had never been of death. When he was a slave to the Crows, death would have been a way out. When he'd been captured by her, he simply saw an opportunity to get out from under the Crows without having to die to do so, even then, he was being hunted by them, and he had only traded one master for another by swearing to serve her. Then there was the Blight followed by Vimaro's hunting him, no time to choose, not really.
Now here he was with a true choice about who he wished to be, and it frightened him. He was afraid that his past and what he had had to do made him into a creature like his so-called friend Taliesin. So, he would punish himself. He was even afraid of what he felt for her, a reminder of his Rinna. She would just have to show him he was a different man from the one he saw on a contract between two monsters, and that man deserved to be free from a past that was not of his choosing. He deserved to forgive himself.
She kept her voice even and neutral, "So you think, what, that you are nothing but an assassin who takes from life and takes lives, the man who charmed and bedded many of his victims, the man who watched a mark go through all seven stages of Lanthrax poisoning, the man who let himself fall in love and watched while his beloved got her throat slit because he thought she was a traitor?" Kai stepped towards him, still keeping her voice conversational, "Oh, you are the man who did all those things to be sure, but shall I tell you who you really are Zevran Arainai?" She cocked her eyebrow at him while tilting her head.
"Stop saying my name like that, as if you really know me, Warden. You do not know me at all" his voice was quiet and cold.
"And why should I not, It's your name, it says so on your birth certificate." Kai waved her hand at the stack of papers sitting on the table, "As to knowing who you really are, I have known who that person is since I first met you, Zevran Arainai." She spoke softly and started walking towards him. He stepped away, keeping the table between them.
"Stop saying that you know me, Warden" his face was still stony, but his voice had warmed slightly from his cold assassin tone.
"Or what, Zevran" Kai shrugged, "Where were we, ah yes, what made the man I know, what kind of man is he, this Zevran Arainai? Shall I tell you about the man you are so afraid of, because that is what this is, no?" Kai gestured with her hands, "You fear who you really are. Rinna knew the real you, so do the others downstairs, as do I, Zevran Arainai." Kai kept her face as neutral as her voice, "The little boy whose mother died bringing him into the world. She could have ended the pregnancy, but she wanted you. I know I would have died to bring Fi and Duncan into the world, your mother wanted you." Kai stepped forward again, and again he retreated.
"And then what, ah yes, the whorehouse, the...what was it named, The Golden Fan, where they could have dumped the babe out on the trash in an alley. No one would have cared, newborns take time, feedings, nappies, so they figured on keeping you for slave labor as an investment. And this sweet little innocent baby grew into a little boy growing up in a place like that, seeing things he shouldn't, being used to clean up after the whores and their johns, no doubt. No one to really care about you ignored and neglected. And what this smart, fast, bright little boy did, why, he taught himself to read and write. And one day while holding your mother's gloves, did you think of running to her people? Surely she loved you so much, that one of them would do likewise, protect you and be there for you. But to them you were just a 'flat eared' bastard whose mother hadn't the good sense to stay with her clan and had run to the city to be a slave to Shem. I bet you received a less than warm welcome."
"Stop, stop now, Warden," Kai thought she heard cracks in the wall he built around himself, in for a copper, in for a sovereign.
"Oh, but I am just getting started, Zevran Arainai. You want to know the real you, don't you, the one we all know. You should get to know this fellow. Now where was I before you interrupted me?" Kai put a finger to her lips as if she were thinking, "Yes, so what did you do, the only thing you could do. You went back to the only life you had ever known. Even if it was a horrible life, there was no choice, not for you. So what happens when little boys hit growth spurts and need more food, which costs money? The Golden Fan decided to sell you, one less whorehouse brat to feed before said mouth got bigger and needed more was their goal to be sure. So, they sold you into slavery with the Crows at the tender age of seven, again, you had no choice. I'm quite sure the life you knew, as horrible as it was, would have been preferable to the one they sold you into so cold heartedly. And not just any cell of Crows, mind you, but the worst cell, run by the youngest, most vicious, most cruel person to ever walk in Thedas, Vimaro. Even at seventeen, he was an abyss on two legs." Kai stepped forward again, speaking softly.
"What you describe, Warden, should only solidify why I am not who you think I am." He tried to put a sneer in his voice, but Kai was a rogue too, she heard the falsity behind the tone, another crack in the shell.
"I was also there in the hideout where Vimaro kept his toys, I know what kind of 'training' he liked to do, that and a box of beloved keepsakes taken away, but not thrown away. Vimaro loved to look at those objects and gloat I bet he even showed them to you all sometimes, just to remind all of you who owned you. He relished that, didn't he?" Kai stepped forward again.
"Then again, I say that you should only see more clearly what kind of person he trained me to be." Zevran looked away, another little crack.
"You mean the Zevran Arainai who once told a certain bard we know regarding the art of killing that when the prey is caught, it deserves a good death, a clean death?" Kai cocked an eyebrow at him and moved forward again, "Now, I see papers downstairs that tell me that is not what Vimaro or Taliesin thought. But you are so much more a horror than they, aren't you Zevran Arainai? Because you're the monster who fell in love despite the torture and mental abuse meant to make him cold and unfeeling? Or are you a fiend because you let Taliesin slit Rinna's throat, and what about that? Even after you felt she betrayed the Crows, and more importantly you, it was not you who pulled the blade across her pretty throat to let the warm blood flow. If you thought that she lied about loving you, why was it not you who took her life from her, that was what was supposed to happen. It couldn't be that, even after your heart got crushed, you couldn't do it, now could it? No, not that, since you're so cruel and cold" Kai just stepped forward again.
"Enough, Warden, I could kill you now and prove you wrong." Kai noticed he looked ill and slightly feverish. Ah, the wall was falling, part of her hated hurting him so, but this was a battle and she intended to win it. They'd not let her get away with persecuting herself, she could do no less for him. It struck her, again, how much alike they were.
"So you think killing me would prove once and for all, who you really are, prove me wrong, and you right, prove that you are undeserving of friendship and love? Well, then let me help you." Kai went over to one of the chests along the wall and dug into it for a moment until she had what she sought. She came up with Vimaro's fancy, sharp, curvy bladed dagger with the jewels in the hilt. She had a moment to be thankful she hadn't had a chance to sell the damn thing. She pulled it from its scabbard with a slick hiss of metal on metal, ending with a clang as she tossed the scabbard away with so much force that it hit the wall. She didn't take her eyes off of his, it was her own personal dare.
"Well then, it is a good thing for you, the abyss that you are, that you didn't get a vallaslin after all. If you had then this would be moot for both of us, no? But now you can prove you are everything your former master wanted, he will win, you will win, and you will get the key and walk away having finally fulfilled your contract." She saw him pale under that honey skin.
"You could take the contract to Ignacio even, we have it here, I wonder if they would still pay you?" She saw him clench his fists as he flinched. Kai walked up until she was standing right in front of him and held her open palms up with the dagger resting across them, "Though I am loath to tell an expert of death and cruelty like yourself how to implement the demise of a mark, may I be so bold as to point out my own vallaslin provides the perfect spot to put the blade? I recommend sliding it between the ribs and giving a quick flick of your wrist to sever the aorta, you'll get less blood on you that way, the bleeding would be internal mostly. You know, so the others won't get suspicious, that way you could walk out the front door and be gone." She allowed herself a low chuckle and was pleased to see him cringe and take a slight step back.
"Whatever is the matter, Zevran the beast?" Kai let a smile play on her lips, pitching her voice low and cruelly seductive, "Perhaps it is as you told me once, some people do need to die, no? Would it help if I told you that I too am a monster? Did I ever tell you what I did in a little town we went to after the fall of Ostagar, a town called Lothering. It was horrific, packed with people fleeing the darkspawn. The bann had left, taking all the soldiers and any able-bodied men in the town to Denerim and to Loghain, to replace the army he helped decimate. Refugees were sleeping in gutters and on the floors of the Chantry and the inn. You could hear weeping and moaning, children crying. It was filled to the gills, there was not enough food, and people were getting sick from the filth. There was lawlessness, and bandits were everywhere. Bears and wolves were attacking, themselves driven north by the darkspawn and sensing weakness in the humans. The Templars couldn't do anything, and the suffering was unimaginable. Loghain put a bounty on any Grey Warden survivors, and while we were there, a group of men in tattered clothing with dull, cheap weapons they hardly knew how to use, confronted us. It was just Alistair, Morrigan, Daveth, Argus and myself at the time, and they were going to collect the bounty. I slit one man's belly open, you should have seen his eyes, Zev, when he watched his own guts spill out in long ropes that he tripped over. I killed them, the others did too, but I was the leader, even then. I killed them all, and all they wanted was to fill their crying children's bellies. I left their wives widows and their children fatherless, all for the audacious crime of wanting to eat. I left them in pools of their own blood in a field, and I didn't look back. But I have done so much more than that, just as horrendous and cruel. Would you like to hear everything, or will that one moment of savagery be sufficient for you to feel I need to die?" Kai stood staring at him.
He seemed frozen to the spot. She grabbed his hand and thrust the dagger's pommel into it forcing him to curl his fingers around it, "There is a certain ironic completion for you to use your old master's dagger, isn't there?" She just gave him a raised eyebrow and a cold smile. Then she leaned in close, "So, what exactly are you waiting for...monster."
He seemed to be fixed to the spot, not even breathing, and then he looked at her and uttered a feral growl as he flung the dagger away. Kai had only a moment to register the clang of the metal as it hit the stone floor with such force she would be surprised if it didn't chip the floor or break the blade.
Then his lips were on hers, hot and devouring, and she had a moment to picture a lamppost covered in snow before she found herself otherwise occupied. Her whole body was suddenly acute as if every cell had been set ablaze. His hands were tearing at her shirt as his lips seemed plastered to hers, their tongues meeting in a kind of fight of their own that mirrored their hands. Her own were reaching under his shirt to rake nails along his back, which elicited a deeper growl and a more fevered rush to get her shirt off. His mouth biting her neck caused her to groan, which seemed to spur him on as he nibbled and sucked as he carried her to the bed. She couldn't have cared less, bed, floor, her poor body which had been denied for so long had a mind of its own.
Sod it, Alistair had been right, she hadn't felt so alive in ages. To be touched and taken and driven to a kind of physical madness, oh this was one of the joys of a corporeal body. She bit and licked any skin of his she could reach, while clawing like a cat. His fingers were bruising in their intensity, grasping her hips as he drew her to him, a mirror of their emotional sparring, one more battlefield. He pushed her arms over her head while he feasted on one breast then the other until her breathing was nothing but ragged little gasps and she arched under him. When his teeth raked one swollen nipple, eliciting a cry, he fumbled and tore at the rest of her clothing as she tore at his, the key was completely forgotten. They came together as he entered her with determined luscious abandon. This wasn't slowly climbing a spinning mountain, so much as sliding on ice at breakneck speed. Their mouths, hands and bodies meeting in a kind of war, who could take more, push more, make the other feel more. When the climax hit her, it wasn't like an arrow from a bow so much as it was a ball from a Qunari cannon, all her pent up emotions – sorrow, fear, anger – all released one explosion of lust. It left her barely able to breathe, and her heart was pounding madly as she quivered underneath him, her body still riding waves of energy as if it had been so constrained for so long that once allowed to release, it couldn't stop. His name was like a mantra, "Zev!" She was helpless to do anything but surrender to it, and she felt his own body shudder in response as he, too, lost himself.
When the currents had finally subsided, like the tide on the ocean going out, they were replaced by a boneless sensation as if she had been cut open and her entire skeleton removed, she felt so soft. She was reveling in the feeling to such a point that she hadn't realized she was dozing off, until she heard a slight sob and realized that her shoulder was getting wet, just like with Alistair in the Fade.
She just wrapped her arms around Zev's naked torso, holding him tight. She didn't try and make patronizing, soothing tones or phrases, just as he never done with her. He'd always quietly been there to support her and let her grieve and get it out, so she just stroked his skin and kissed his shoulder, to let him grieve for it all, especially his Rinna, and to let the guilt go. Eventually, he rolled to the side and pulled her to him, saying nothing. She put her head on his chest and snuggled in, where she fell into a deep and dreamless slumber.