Richelle Mead owns the VA and Bloodlines series.
So yesterday morning I got the idea for this one shot. Last night I randomly go on twitter (since I barely ever just go on twitter for no reason) and even more random go into my connect or explore or whatever page and see Richelle tweeted a quote from Silver Shadows. A conversation between Adrian and his mom! And I may have freaked out just a little bit... Anyway. This one shot is about Adrian's mom if you were wondering. Not sure if it's any good, but it's different. And Happy Valentine's Day! :)
Daniella Ivashkov had never heard of Sydney Sage before the guardian in charge of her cell block dropped off a stack of letters addressed to her from her son, Adrian.
Daniella hadn't heard from her son since she was arrested and sent to the prison she was currently residing in. The prison wasn't that bad, it wasn't maximum security and the only criminals she had to spend time with were the other wealthy Moroi royals who's landed themselves here by committing some white collar crime or another. But she hadn't spoken to her only son in months and her husband, Nathan, barely ever called and had only bothered to visit once. That wasn't a terrible surprise, but Adrian wasn't like his father. The fact that she hadn't received a single word from him bothered her.
To his credit, he had tried to contact her once. He'd called upon her in a spirit dream, using his bizarre talent to contact her in her sleep, but she'd sent him away, too rattled by the nature of his magic to speak to him. As the days turned into months, however, she was coming to regret that decision. It wasn't his strange magic that bothered her after all, not really. It was just him, seeing her at her worst. She hadn't had time to prepare herself for his arrival as she would if he'd just visited the prison in person. When he'd summoned her from her sleep she'd been wearing the beige jump suit that all of the prisoners wore twenty four hours a day, her hair had been in shambles and she'd had no makeup on at all. She looked old and wretched and couldn't bare her son to see her looking so pathetic. So she'd sent him away, even though he'd looked fairly wretched himself, calling out to her with a sad look on his face before fading the dream.
She'd been so sure he'd visit her, or at least call. Nathan had told her Adrian was off galavanting in California, ignoring his responsibilities as usual. Ignoring her. So when she'd suddenly received months worth of letters from him all at once she knew something was wrong. Daniella wasn't the motherly type, she knew that, but she loved her son as any mother would. He was her darling boy and, despite his flaws, she would do anything for him. Which was why she found herself staying up late into the day reading and rereading the letters he'd clearly been writing her for some time.
###
Hi Mom,
Dad won't tell me where you are so I don't know why I'm bothering to write this, but I'm stuck living with an old man (who's currently taking a nap) and have nothing else to do, so here it goes.
I know why you did what you did with Rose. You were right. She wasn't good for me. She was never mine, no matter how much I wanted her to be. It sucks though because I can't seem to forget her despite using heavy doses of alcohol to try.
Rose was fire and life and courage all bottled up in this beautiful body and that's what I wanted. I wanted the essence of her to be mine. Maybe it was just the idea of her, a love of love. I wanted to love her so badly. Maybe I do. I'm not sure. I don't think I ever was.
Anyway, I'm sorry you paid for my mistake.
Adrian
###
Mom,
I can't believe I'm continuing to write to someone who's never going to see these letters, but the hell with it.
I wish Aunt Tatiana was still here. I miss her and now you're gone too. And Rose is gone and I'm all alone out here. There aren't even any other Moroi to spend time with.
There's this one girl though. She's human and an Alchemist (bet Dad would love that, right?). It's not like that though. She's a friend... I think. She sort of hates vampires as a whole, but she's coming along. Her name's Sydney Sage.
She doesn't take my crap which is kind of why I like her. I've never met anyone who called me on my shit before. Dad does sometimes, but he doesn't really care. Just doesn't want me to embarrass him. Sydney won't help me unless I put some effort in, which isn't fun, but... I respect that.
I've been an asshole to her a few times and she doesn't want to waste her time on me unless I'm serious. But she said... She told me she'd help me get into college. I really want to go this time, Mom. I know I dropped out before, but this college has art classes I can take and they'll give me money so I can get a place of my own. I'm still living with the old guy (who's sleeping again, by the way) and I want out. I can't take this place anymore, I'm crawling out of my skin I'm so bored. Dad won't give me money to buy an apartment, or even a car so I'm stuck until the college thing works out.
You always said I was a social butterfly, but I can't exactly flap my wings in this place, you know? These people I'm staying with are okay, but it's so boring. The only one who's even remotely interesting is Sydney and she's only interesting because I can't figure her out. One second she's afraid of us, the next she's telling me she trusts me to keep my word to her. She's sort of unpredictable, but in a good way, I guess. You wouldn't think that about her if you met her, but she is.
I don't know why I'm telling you about her. She is helping me get set up in college though. I thought maybe you'd be interested in that.
Adrian
###
Mom,
I don't know what's wrong with me. Why do I always want girls who want nothing to do with me? You're a woman, what's my problem?
I told you about Sydney in my last letter, right? Well. She's human and probably the only person I've ever met that expects me to actually contribute to society. And she's great, though you might not be able to tell at first. She's beautiful, of course, but she's withdrawn, detached from people. She acts detached anyway. I can tell she isn't though. She cares what people think of her, almost as much as I do.
I know, since when do I care what people think of me? I do though. I always have. When I was a kid and didn't develop an ability the way the rest of my friends did I felt like a freak. Plus the side effects of spirit really sucked, but I didn't know that's what the darkness was then. I acted out. Acted up. Drank until I was numb. But then everyone thought I was trouble and I just went with it. It's what everyone else thought, and I didn't have another explanation, so I was trouble. It didn't seem so bad at the time. No one expected much from me that way.
Sydney's the opposite of me in almost every way. She cares what people think. Wants to live up to everyone's expectations. She can't let herself fall below that level of perfection everyone imagines her to be. She doesn't even see how perfect she is just naturally. Mom, she's so smart. You wouldn't believe how smart. She's even pretty funny. She doesn't see it though, and I can't tell her. She'd freak out on me.
Doesn't matter, she's got a boyfriend anyway. He's a jackass, but she likes him for whatever reason. Probably because he speaks Latin and they share a love of coffee. I know I should I stay away from her, she hates vampires after all. But she doesn't hate me, that's pretty obvious. And we've had a few moments where I've almost thought... It doesn't matter. I should stay away from her. It'll only end in my heart getting broken again.
If you were here you'd tell me to stay away from her, wouldn't you?
Adrian
###
I keep hearing Aunt Tatiana, Mom. I'm afraid I'm going crazy. But for real this time.
I'm being an asshole to Sydney too. I kissed her. I didn't tell you that last time. I kissed her and she left me. She barely talks to me now and whenever she does I act like a bastard.
The darkness is getting stronger, too strong. I don't know what to do, Mom.
Adrian
###
Hey Mom,
For the first time in as long as I can remember, I'm happy. Spirit's been okay. It's hard to keep completely under control, but I've been doing okay. I know you probably won't be happy about it (Dad definitely won't be) but Sydney and I are together now. I wanted to tell you that. That I'm happy and it's all because of Sydney.
It's not like it was with Rose. I didn't love Rose, not like I love Sydney. She just gets me, Mom. The way I get her. She's been going through so much since we got here, so much more than anyone knows. Everyone puts so much pressure on her all the time. But when she's with me I get to see this totally different side of her. She's warm and passionate and loving in a way no one but me knows. It's incredible. Sort of like having a wild animal come up to you and eat out of your palm. Mystifying. Surreal.
My whole life recently has been pretty surreal. I told you I was going back to college. My professors tell me I have real talent. And I've stopped smoking. I stopped drinking too, if you can believe it. Sydney and I made a deal, I'd cut back to one drink a day and she'd cut back to one cup of caffeine a day. Did I tell you about her coffee addiction? She's totally addicted. It's adorable.
I stopped drinking altogether though because I went on some mood stabilizers a psychologist gave me. He said I have the classic signs of bi-polar disorder. I didn't know anything about that, but he explained it and it sounds about right. You can't drink when you take the pills though. But now that I'm on them, I don't feel like I need to drink. Spirit doesn't really work the way it should, but I've stopped hearing Aunt Tatiana, so that's something.
I had a really bad time a couple of weeks ago. Sydney... She had to come get me in the middle of the night after an episode. Alright, more like a drinking binge after an episode. She cried, Mom. No one's ever cried because of me before, but she cried. And still she told me she loved me even though I know it hurt her to see me like that. After that I had to get help. I couldn't hurt her like that just because I wanted control of the magic. It wasn't fair to her, or to me. So I started the pills.
I haven't told her about them yet though. I can't. Not until I know for sure I won't quit. I don't want to get her hopes up and then fail. She never fails at anything. I can't fail.
Wish me luck, Mom. I love you.
Adrian
###
Mom. She's gone.
Sydney's gone. They took her. The Alchemists took her because her sister found out about the two of us. They're going to hurt her because she loves me and there's nothing I can do about it. I can't contact her in a spirit dream because of these damned pills! Or maybe it's because they're drugging her. I don't even know!
Jackie, Sydney's teacher (I haven't told you about her), she's trying to locate Sydney. And this guy we know, Marcus. He's looking too. Jill keeps telling me we'll find her (you remember Jill Mastrano, right?) but I don't know. I'm trying to stay positive, but it's hard. Lissa can't help and the Alchemists won't tell her anything. If I knew where they were keeping her I'd rush in and save her. I'd go and rescue her no matter what or where or how. But I have no idea where she is and no idea how to find her.
Mom, I need some support right now. I know you probably don't like the idea of me dating a human, but I need to know you're behind me right now. Three people in the entire world know I was dating Sydney (aside from the people who kidnapped her). I need you to tell me that everything will be okay because Sydney would usually tell me but she's not here and I don't believe any one else.
I've gone off the pills so spirit's back. I'm going to go see if I can find Sydney in a dream. Maybe 23rd times the charm.
P.S. Lissa told me where you are, so I'm actually going to send you these letters. I need you, Mom.
Love,
Adrian
###
Daniella wiped her eyes after reading the letter for a third time. Her boy, her darling boy, was heartbroken. Again.
She hated seeing him like this, but it was only made worse by how happy his second to last letter had been. He'd sounded happier then she could ever remember him. Maybe he'd sounded like that when he was young, but not in many years had she heard him so honestly excited about something. She didn't understand why art classes and a human girl ranked on Adrian's list of important things, but he was her son and happy was happy, despite the reasons.
Daniella wasn't sure if she should encourage his affection for the human girl, but she couldn't deny that she'd had an impact on her son. She was thankful for that at least. She didn't quite understand the nature of the problem with the girl either. Adrian's letters were erratic at times, skipping around ideas as they flew through his head. She was kidnapped? By other Alchemists because she loved Adrian? It seemed so very Romeo and Juliet. So melodramatic.
Then again, Adrian had always had a flair for the dramatic. Everything was always hot or cold, up or down. He was never merely content, but always deliriously happy or direly unhappy. Either way, he was her son and he needed her, whether she agreed with him about this girl or not. Calling out to the guardian on duty she asked for a pen and some paper to write back to Adrian.
Even though Daniella had never heard of Sydney Sage before today, she wrote a heartfelt apology for the loss of the girl who'd made her son so happy, even if it was for just a short time. Part of her, the ridiculously romantic part of her she'd thought long since lost to cynicism and time, even wished for the best of this situation they were in. But mostly she just wrote to her son, letting him know she loved him and would be there for him no matter what trouble he found himself in.
Daniella Ivashkov was not an overly affectionate mother, and she knew that. But she'd do anything for her son. Even if that meant she might have to welcome a human girl to the family when she got out of prison.