Richelle Mead owns the VA and Bloodlines series.

Whoo hoo! So many updates! Don't get spoiled though. You probably won't get another this quickly. This one shot was inspired by the torture that is the Penguin Teen Australia Silver Shadows live tweet. It popped into my head and I couldn't stop thinking about until I wrote it down. I know it could've been a whole multi-chapter story on its own but I did not have the time or patience to write that out. So instead, this. Hopefully you'll like it. Please let me know what you think, or if there's anything you'd like to see in the next few one shots.

(Also, I'll just put it out there since some of you have asked in the past for permission, feel free to take this general idea and run with it if you'd like. Personally, I'd love to read someone else's take on this idea and I know so many of you are super talented and could do it more justice than me :)

This was my worst nightmare. The worst thing I could imagine. The thing that finally broke my spirit in a way I'd never imagined possible.

But, ironically, after nearly six months in reeducation, it wasn't the Alchemists who had caused this final trauma. It wasn't my dad, or compulsion, or even a Strigoi. No, the one who shattered me beyond repair was also the only one who could even begin to put me back together.

Adrian Ivashkov did this to me. Adrian Ivashkov broke my heart. He'd hurt me just like the Alchemists said he would.

I'd been so overjoyed to see him on the day I escaped reeducation. He'd come to break me out, and I'd led an escape from the inside, desperately trying to get to him. When I finally did, I threw myself at him, much to the surprise of all of our friends, he'd kissed me, held me, told me how much he loved me. Too bad it was all a load of crap.

Once we were safely away from the Alchemists and resting comfortably in an out of the way motel, Adrian pulled me into our room. I couldn't stop smiling and kissing him, because we were together again. We needed to make up for lost time. But, then he sat me down on the bed saying, "Sage, we need to talk." I felt like such an idiot, sitting there, believing in our love, in our future. I was naive.

"I slept with Nina," he choked out, beautiful green eyes red with tears, faced pinched in pain.

I don't remember much else about that night. Just that I'd calmly stood up and told him to leave. The rest was a blur of nauseating sobs and pathetically remembering every moment of my relationship with him, trying to justify what he'd done so I could run to him, curl up in his arms and stop feeling this way.

I woke up in the morning to a throbbing headache, stuffed nose, and light sensitive eyes. And I was done trying to forgive and forget. I couldn't. Adrian had betrayed me when I needed him most. I couldn't forgive him that.

He tried speaking to me, but I made it clear to him that I was done. I was not one of those girls that he could walk all over.

"You told me once that I didn't know what it was like to love, and then have that love thrown back in my face." I suppressed a painful sob, unwilling to let him see me cry. "Well, I do now. So thank you for that."

After that, he didn't approach me again, but he didn't go back to Court or Palm Springs or wherever he was staying now either. He stayed two doors down from my room, waiting for Abe to let us know it was safe to move on to the next stage in the plan. Rose and Eddie were here with us, which I was grateful for. Mostly because they risked an awful lot to help rescue me, but part of my gratitude was because they worked well as a buffer between me and Adrian.

I could barely look at him without feeling sick to my stomach. I pictured the girl he'd been with, Nina, in my head all of the time. Comparing myself to her, wondering how she felt about Adrian, wondering just what Adrian felt for her. He'd said it was nothing more than a stupid act of desperation and loneliness, but it didn't matter. He had to have some feelings or opinions about her. I wasn't brave enough, or pathetic enough, to ask him.

You can imagine my horror when Abe finally revealed the next stage of my rescue. Adrian and I were flying to Italy under aliases. Abe had procured a small house outside of Rome. Apparently, he remembered me mentioning my interest in Rome once and thought it would be a nice change of pace from reeducation. It would have been my dream. Living in Italy with Adrian, getting a job, going to college. But he'd ruined it. He'd ruined everything!

"I'm not going anywhere with him," I said when Rose explained the plan to us over lukewarm Chinese takeout one evening.

"You can't go alone," Rose said, picking at her dinner. "And I can't go with you. I have to get back. I'd send Eddie, but he has to get back to Jill."

"Then I'll be fine by myself."

"Sage." Just his voice sent goosebumps cascading down my arms, but my breath hitched in my throat and I felt tears pushing against the back of my eyes.

"I'll be fine." I was adamant.

I was also overruled.

I kept to myself as we made our way through the airport and onto the plane Abe had booked us. Refusing to speak to Adrian might have been childish, but it was also my only option, being stuck next to him on an almost thirteen hour flight.

"Can we, please, talk about this?" he asked once we were settled on the plane. "It's just us. No one can interrupt—"

"There's nothing to talk about," I said, angling my body away from him and lifting up the book I'd purchased in the airport. I'd had to ask Adrian for money for the trashy novel, which I hated, but it was better than having to speak to him for the next half a day. I wasn't sure what I was going to do once we landed, but I knew I wasn't happy with this idiotic escape plan.

"There's everything to talk about," he whispered beside me as the plane rumbled down the runway.

I should have ignored him. I should never have appeared affected. It was the one useful thing the Alchemists had taught me. But I was always stupid when it came to Adrian.

"You gave up your right to talk to me about anything when you screwed Nina."

Adrian leaned away from me like I'd slapped him. An older woman across the aisle from us glared at me. I blinked back tears and ignored them both, burying my nose in my novel. I just needed to keep it together until I could ditch him. That was it. Everyone thought I was an ice queen anyway. I knew how to play the part.

We landed in the late afternoon, and the sun angled through the trees as a cab drove us to the house Abe had rented. It was more beautiful in this country than I ever could have imagined, and I'd been imagining it since I was thirteen. The house was small, but not tiny. Vines crept up the stones that made up the facade. Large, leafy trees provided shade on the side yard, but the sun was shining in through the front windows.

Adrian grabbed our bags—two small carry-ons that held some toiletries and a change of clothes—then found the key that someone had left for us in the mailbox. He held the door open, gesturing for me to go in first, and I rolled my eyes, careful not to touch him as I shouldered passed him through the door.

My breath caught when I saw the inside. The living room was completely furnished and there were exposed bricks around the archways between rooms. Distressed wooden beams crisscrossed the high ceilings. The sun seeping in through the windows caused everything to glow. This was heaven. My heaven. And had certainly cost a fortune.

As I took in the tastefully, but expensively, furnished room, a chill ran through me. I didn't want Abe throwing away this much money on me. It meant he'd want something big in return someday. I told myself Abe had gotten this place by cashing in some favor from some rich Moroi who summered here, that was all. It was a beautiful home that, yes, had obviously cost much more than I could afford, but, for now, at least, it was mine.

"What do you think?" His gentle voice, so close to me, had me pretending it was six months ago and we'd run from Palm Springs before... before everything went wrong. If we had been the people we were then, I would have turned and smiled, kissed him until he couldn't breathe, and then basked in the happiness of this moment.

But it wasn't, and I wasn't, and he wasn't.

"It'll do," I mumbled, pulling my bag away from him and hiding out in the first bedroom I saw until I was hungry enough that I had to leave.

I avoided Adrian as best I could for the next couple of weeks. He gave me my space, though I could tell he didn't want to. Part of me didn't want him to either. It wanted him to sweep into my room and take me in his arms and make everything alright. I felt stupid whenever I let that part fantasize for too long. At least I'd stopped crying at night. Back at the motel, his room had been far enough away that he couldn't hear me crying at night, but here? The bedrooms were next to each other and the walls were thin enough that I could hear his bed creak when he sat down on it. And with his Moroi hearing? I knew he could hear me, even when I buried my face in my pillow. I didn't want him to know how he made me feel, but I couldn't help it. Being in this place with him so close, but so far away... It was torture. Worse than anything the Alchemists could have ever inflicted. Thankfully he never brought up my nighttime sobbing and soon enough I learned to stop the emotions before they rose up.

Things weren't good, despite being in this beautiful place. Adrian told me to wait patiently, and after a month or so I'd be able to start taking classes at a local university, curtesy of Abe, once again. But I was going out of my mind waiting. I wasn't good at doing nothing. I was able to keep in contact with Ms. Terwilliger and she provided spells for me to practice, so at least I had that. The house had a nice patio and private yard where I could practice without fear of being seen. Whenever I felt eyes on me as I cast a spell, I knew that it was only Adrian, standing in the kitchen, watching me through the window. I never glanced up and he never came out, but I could always tell when he was watching.

I tried not to think about him and, even though it was hard, I was determined. I guess that was why I stopped paying attention to his basic needs. I wouldn't eat with him, and I locked myself in my room whenever I wasn't practicing in the yard. I barely saw him. So when I found him, collapsed on the kitchen floor two weeks after we'd moved in, I had no idea what was wrong.

"Adrian!" I cried, running to kneel beside him on the tile. "Adrian! What happened? What's wrong?"

It was funny how the moment he needed me I came running back. Every fiber of my body was fixated on him, even though I'd been determined not to care. My heart was pounding against my chest and, without even knowing it, I'd begun a string of prayers in my head.

Please, let him be okay. Don't take him from me now.

He stirred on the floor, his eyes cracking open just enough to look up at me. His skin was paler than usual, and he felt cold, but he was conscious and I sucked in a relieved breath.

"Sage?" His voice was thick and slurred. For a moment I was furious with him. Had he been drinking? But no. I'd seen Adrian drunk and it didn't look like this. Adrian was still alert when he was drunk, or as alert as you can be when you're drunk. But his eyes were wandering the room without seeing anything. Besides, I might avoid him, but it wasn't like I never saw him. I knew that he hadn't been like this a couple of hours ago.

"Adrian, what happened?" I asked again, trying to remain cool and collected, no matter how scared I was. "How long have you been like this?"

"I'm fine," he said, focusing on my hand. It was resting on his chest. He tried to sit up, but couldn't manage it by himself. I helped him into a sitting position and he leaned back against the cabinets in the center island. "Just got a little dizzy is all. I haven't fed in awhile."

I did a few quick calculations and realized awhile was at least two and a half weeks ago. I hadn't actually seen him feed at the motel, but I had to assume he had. We'd been there for over a week. But in the weeks we'd been in Italy he hadn't left the house once, other than to get groceries or supplies for me. I never asked him to, so I guessed Ms. Terwilliger was emailing him what I needed for my spells since he always came back with exactly the right things. He refused to let me go to the market myself, but he also didn't want to leave me alone for too long, so he was only ever gone twenty minutes. He couldn't have been to a feeder in that time. The nearest one couldn't have lived close enough for that.

"You need to feed," I said. "You can't starve yourself because of me."

"I wasn't, alright." He shrugged my hand away when I went to help him stand. "I've just been a little distracted. I'll go tomorrow."

Except he still couldn't lift himself off of the floor and I had a feeling, even if he could, he wouldn't be able to stand, let alone get himself to a feeder. I squeezed my eyes shut, accepting that I didn't even have to make my next decision. It was already made for me. It had been made months ago, when Adrian had kissed me for the first time. Ever since that moment I'd been inescapably tied to him, even when I didn't want to be.

Without a word I crawled closer, throwing a leg over his waist. His green eyes flew wide as I straddled him and began unbuttoning my shirt.

"What are you doing?" The question came out as a shocked hiss, his breath fanning out over my neck. My traitor body reacted to the feeling, even though I told myself this was just an emergency. Adrian would be in even worse condition tomorrow if he didn't feed immediately. I may have been furious with him, but I wasn't going to sit back and watch him get sick because of it.

"What do you think I'm doing?" I worked a couple of buttons open, enough that he'd have easy access to my throat, and then pulled my collar open and shifted closer. "You need to feed and I'm the only one here."

"No." He tried to push me off, but didn't have enough strength to actually move me off him. Then he tried squirming away. I rolled my eyes and held him in place against the cabinets as best I could. "I'll be fine. I'll call the feeder Abe set me up with. Sage, stop."

His hands wrapped around my waist and lightning bolts shot up my spine. It was the first time we'd touched in weeks.

"How far away is the feeder?" I asked, trying to focus on anything other than the warmth of his fingers. His eyes kept darting down into the opening of my shirt. I was still covered, but there was a lot more skin showing now then there had been.

"She's... I don't now. An hour away?" He was more alert now, but he still looked sick and pale. "I'll go right now, just stop this. It's ridiculous."

"What's ridiculous," I said, "is you thinking you're in any condition to travel an hour away. Tell her to come here."

"She can't," he shook his head, then squeezed his eyes shut like he was in pain. "That's why haven't fed yet. I have to meet her. She's got a kid and can't come this far."

So it was still up to me. I settled comfortably onto his lap and gripped his shoulders. His fingers tightened on my hips. "You could've gone at anytime."

"It's a two hour trip. I couldn't leave for that long."

"Sure, because I'm so fragile I can't be left alone for a couple of hours." I shook my head. "You really need to get over yourself. If the Alchemists do show up I'm capable of protecting myself. And it's not exactly like I'm in dire need of your company in the first place."

Adrian's eyes dropped, but this time he wasn't looking at my chest. His whole being seemed to deflate. "I just wanted to make sure you were safe," he whispered.

I closed my eyes, not wanting to see the expression on his face. "Adrian, please. Let me help you." When he refused to look up I gripped his chin, forcing him to meet my eyes. "I want to make sure you're safe, too."

I tilted my head to the side, exposing my throat. He was close enough that I could feel, not only his breath, but the warmth of his lips, even though he wasn't touching me yet. When his mouth finally did descend on me, it was soft and gentle. I wrapped my fingers around his shoulders, closing my eyes and hoping I didn't embarrass myself. I'd known he wouldn't just bite me. The kissing was inevitable. He didn't want to hurt me, he wanted to be what we were. And, as much as my body wanted that, as much as I wanted that, we couldn't be what he wanted.

"Do it," I murmured into his neck, trying not to moan when his teeth finally scrapped the skin at my the base of my throat. It felt like hours of teasing and torture before he gave in. Then, finally, a sharp, hot pain shot through my shoulder as his fangs pierced my skin. For one, brief moment, I felt a throbbing in that spot. My whole consciousness was focused on my pulse beating where Adrian connected with me. Then warmth seeped into my veins and I sighed, my hands tangling in his hair and pulling him closer.

I'd never felt so good, ever. The pain and sadness and humiliation I'd felt the past few weeks—the past six months!—melted away as Adrian's endorphins rushed through me. All I knew was that I felt good and he was responsible for making me feel that way.

Too soon he was pulling away. I still felt warm and wonderful, but I wanted him close. I needed him. He pushed my hands away when I reached for him, gently slipping out from under me and leaning me back on the floor.

"Sage, are you okay?" His voice was rich and hypnotic in my happy, shiny world. I wanted to hear him talk forever. "Shit. Did I take too much? Sage?"

I opened my eyes to see him hovering over me. "Adrian." I grinned up at him. It felt like ages since I'd smiled. Smiling was nice. Smiling was nicer when he was the one who was smiling, but he wasn't right now. "I want to see you smile," I murmured to him.

His beautiful face did the opposite of smiling, but he started to stroke my hair which was definitely better than smiling. "I'm so sorry, Sydney. I'm such a screw up. Everything I do always ends up hurting the people I love."

"You didn't hurt me," I mumbled, my eyes were starting to shut, but I wanted to look at him. He was so beautiful. "Not now, anyway. I feel good. Really good, right now."

"That's the endorphins talking. You got a big dose of them." He leaned down a little closer. "I won't ever let this happen again, I swear."

"No," I whimpered. "I like it."

He pulled back, grabbing the hand that was reaching for him, and holding it. "Why don't we get you to bed, alright?"

"No." I twisted on the floor, pulling my hand away and stretching. "I like it here. With you."

"You're bed would be more comfortable."

But I refused, over and over again until he finally gave up and stretched out beside me on the tile. I wasn't in the most talkative of moods, but every once in a while he'd whisper how sorry he was and I'd tell him he had nothing to apologize for. I must have started to sober up at some point, but was still far from clear headed because the next time he apologized I said, "Why did you do it, if you're so sorry?"

My voice was soft and sleepy from the high, but Adrian startled beside me. I don't know what prompted me to say it. I don't know what I was looking for. But he rolled onto his side and watched me for a long moment before replying.

"I was weak," was what he said. "I can't give you any reason or excuse that will make everything okay. I wish I had one, but I don't. I ruined everything we had, the only thing I ever truly wanted, because I'm weak."

I rolled towards him, picking myself up on my elbows. "You aren't weak, Adrian. You never have been. When are you going to stop pitying yourself long enough to see that?"

Adrian's eyes widened, then he smiled. His smile was so perfect it made me smile, too. "Even high, you're still so smart."

"Being high effects your inhibitions, not your intelligence," I noted, lowering myself back to the tile.

His fingers brushed against my cheek, leaving a trail of warm sparks behind. "God, I want to kiss you," he whispered.

"I want you to kiss me." My eyes slid closed, hoping he'd do just that.

Suddenly, he was moving away, standing. "No, you don't. You won't want that in the morning."

I shakily got to my feet, steadying myself on the island beside me. "I always want you to kiss me. It's not my fault you ruined everything."

"No, it's mine," he admitted, turning away. "And you hate me for it. Remember that."

"I don't hate you, Adrian," I said, getting a little annoyed now. I could feel the endorphins wearing off, taking that happy feeling with them. Why did he want to make it even worse by fighting? "I love you, I hate what you did."

He still wouldn't look at me, so I went over and grabbed his elbow, meaning to turn him around. Instead he pulled me in front of him and pushed me back against the refrigerator door. "How do I fix this?" he asked, desperately. His eyes were wet and his cheeks were flushed. He looked miserable and all I wanted to do was reach out and make it better, but I couldn't do that. It wasn't up to me to fix this.

I shook my head. "I don't know."

He was full on crying now, tears streaming down his face, clogging his throat as he spoke. "I have to do something. What? Do I leave? Should I leave you alone?" His chest heaved with silent sobs for a minute before he could talk again. I could feel tears of my own running down my cheeks. "I can't do this anymore. I can't take living with you when you clearly don't want me around. Sydney, I can't listen to you cry yourself to sleep ever again. I'm hurting you more just by being here, aren't I? I wanted to protect you, but you're right. You don't need me. So tell me to go and I will."

It was what I'd wanted. To get rid of him. To be by myself. All I had to do was say the words and I knew he'd go. He felt even more guilty and ashamed after having fed from me. If I told him to go now I'd never see him again.

Could I really never see him again?

His eyes were red and beginning to swell, and his cheeks were pink and splotchy, but he was still the most beautiful man I'd ever seen. Even after all of these months, he still reminded me of a work of art. His hair fell over his forehead, threatening to obscure his beautiful eyes. He'd need a haircut soon. Would I be there when he came home, freshly cut hair styled the way it always was? Or was I really willing to let him go for good?

This wasn't a decision I could flip flop on. If I told him to go, I had to mean it. I couldn't change my mind a year, a month, an hour later. I needed to be strong and say the word. Go. Just one word would change the entire course of my life.

Suddenly the pressure was too much. My tears turned into full fledged sobs and my knees began to quake. Adrian grabbed my waist, hauling me against him before I could fall. He helped me into my room and sat me on my bed, laying me back against the pillows.

He leaned forward and kissed my forehead. "I love you," he murmured into my hair. "You have to know that. You're the only woman I've ever really loved." Then he turned and started to walk away.

"No," I cried, grasping his wrist.

"I have to, Sydney," he said, gently removing my hand. "I love you, but I'm no good for you. I've hurt you enough already. You deserve better."

"I do!" I yelled, scrambling to my knees on the mattress. "I deserve better. I deserve to have someone I can trust, someone who won't cheat on me the first time things get tough. Someone who won't walk away because things are too painful. I deserve better than that!" Adrian couldn't meet my eyes as I shouted at him. He looked like he was barely keeping himself from running out of the room. I reached for him again, leaning out into the space between us and taking his hand. "So. Be. Better. Than. That. I know you, Adrian. And I know you're better than this. You can stand there and give your lame ass "weak" excuse all you want, but you and I both know you are not weak. You're one of the strongest people I know. You let yourself believe you're weak so you don't have to feel guilty when you give up."

"Sydney—"

"No. Tell me this. When you... When you were with Nina," he ducked his head, refusing to look at me, "were you drunk?"

"It doesn't matter."

"It doesn't," I agreed, my jaw so tight it hurt. "You hurt me and that's all that matters, but humor me. Were you drunk?"

He still wouldn't look up. "Yes."

The tears were back. "Why do you do this to yourself?" I choked. "Why? You don't need it. Take your damned pills, take away the temptation. Please! I can't lose you again!"

I was shaking and sobbing. I folded in half, my head on my knees as I cried harder than I ever have before, even when I was a kid and fell out of a neighbor's treehouse and broke my ankle. It was like I was in physical pain. I felt the mattress dip, and then his arms were around me. I leaned into his side. We must have looked awful, both crying, snotty messes, rocking and clinging to each other.

I don't remember falling asleep, but I must have at some point, because I woke up, head cradled by my pillow and comfortably tucked under the blankets. Adrian was nowhere to be found. I jumped up, terrified that he might have left after I fell asleep. He'd seemed decided on it last night.

As stuffed up and lightheaded as I felt after crying all night—again—I knew that I didn't want him to leave. I'd lost him for six months while I was in reeducation. I hadn't really gotten him back after I was out. He'd been so close to me this whole time, but he'd also been further away then ever. It wasn't my fault that he'd cheated, and it wasn't my job to fix what he'd broken, but if I didn't give him the chance to fix it, then it would remain broken. Always. And I didn't want that.

"Adrian!" I stumbled out into the hallway, running for his room. Panic was zipping through my veins, energizing me in a way that felt unstable. I nearly tripped turning the corner into his room. His empty room.

He wasn't there.

For the next half hour I searched the house, the yard, I even walked down the street to our closest neighbor's house to ask if they'd seen him. But he wasn't anywhere. At this point, crying was such a normal reaction for me that I didn't even register the tears until the loud sobbing started. Adrian and I had both gotten new phones when we'd moved here, but I'd idiotically refused to program in his number. I had no way to contact him.

There's one plus to Adrian being gone, I thought bitterly. Now you can cry as loud as you want to. Which was exactly what I did. And it was probably the reason I failed to hear it when, a while later, the front door creaked open.

"Whoa!" A voice shouted behind me, causing me to jump up from my spot on the couch. I stumbled when I tried to turn around. "Easy there, Sage," Adrian said as he steadied me. His fingers ran up and down my arms, and I practically launched myself at him, burying my face in his chest. "Are you alright? What happened?"

I choked on my answer a few times, before I was able to speak. "You were gone. I though that..." Hiccups prevented me from finishing.

"You thought I was gone?" He sounded genuinely confused, like he couldn't understand why him disappearing for a few hours would make me think that. "Like, that I'd left?" I nodded. "But didn't you see my note?"

"Note?" I choked out.

"Yeah. By your bed."

I hadn't checked my room other than to see that he wasn't there when I woke up. It was completely possible that, in my panic, I'd missed a note. For some reason, I just had to check, to see his note for myself. He followed me into the bedroom, waiting quietly next to me when I reached out for the neatly folded paper beside my bed. I held it tightly to my chest, but didn't open it.

"You really thought I was gone? That's why you were crying like that?" His voice was a warm breath in my ear, and his arms wrapped around my waist, pulling me back against him. I nodded and he held me tighter. He lowered his mouth to my neck, peppering me with kisses. "Oh, Sage, no."

"You were gone for a long time," I said, leaning further into him. "You never leave for a long time."

"I had to go to the doctor." His mouth was now working it's way around my earlobe, but I pushed him away, despite how much I liked what he was doing.

"The doctor? Why? Was it because of yesterday? Was it more than just lack of blood?"

Now that I was facing him I could see the faintest smile on his lips. That smile relaxed me before he'd even opened his mouth. "No, no, nothing like that. I had to go, because I didn't bring my prescription with me. For the mood stabilizers. I went and got one this morning."

He lifted a small orange bottle from his pocket. "You were right when you said I make excuses." He grinned. "Lame ass excuses, I believe was the phrase." I couldn't help but smile at his teasing. "I've always done it," he said, his tone sober now. "I say I'm not good enough, or strong enough, or smart enough, but really I'm just scared to be better. It's easier to say I can't then to really try, only to fail in the end. But I don't want to do that anymore. I can't do that anymore. If, by some miracle, you're willing to give me a second chance, then I won't screw it up just because I'm afraid. And this," he shook the pill bottle, "is the first step."

In all the time I'd known Adrian, he'd never lied to me. He'd screwed up from time to time, but he'd never lied. As hurt as I was at what he'd done, I knew he was telling the truth about why he'd done it. Just like I knew he was telling the truth now. He'd been changing since I'd met him, becoming the man I know he is inside. He was promising not to give up on himself anymore, and if he wasn't giving up, neither was I.

I took his hand and led him to the kitchen, filling a glass with water and handing it to him. He didn't hesitate before swallowing one of the pills. I reached up, threading my fingers through his hair, and pulling him to me.

I hadn't kissed him for weeks, and before that months, but kissing Adrian felt the same as ever. His warm lips were gentle and yet fierce. His tongue and teeth knew exactly what and where and how to make me shudder. I wasn't ready to go farther than this kiss, not without lots of talking first, but Adrian wasn't pushy. He kept everything sweet and simple and perfect. Still, we ended up stretched out together on my bed soon enough.

"You never did tell me what you think of the house," he murmured, smiling at me while my head rested comfortably against his bicep. I snuggled closer, breathing in his scent. He didn't smell the way he usually did, the scent of alcohol and cloves missing. He didn't smell like the expensive cologne he always wore either. But he somehow still smelled like Adrian.

"I think it's the most beautiful place I've ever seen," I admitted. "Sometimes I think..." I swallowed back more tears. I was done crying. "Sometimes I look around this place and think I might still be in reeducation, like I'm just dreaming all this."

He pulled me to his chest, cradling me and whispering reassurances into my hair. I was almost embarrassed at how relieved he could make me feel. I'd missed being comforted by Adrian. When we finally pulled back I smiled at him to let him know I was alright. "This place really is amazing. I love it here."

He grinned. "I'm glad I bought it then."

"You what?" I asked, smiling fading in my confusion.

Adrian looked slightly embarrassed, but shrugged. "The first place Abe got was, well, really small. And I knew you didn't want me around, so I called him and asked him to find someplace a little bigger. He sent me a picture of this place and I knew you'd fall in love with it. It was more money, but I had enough saved up." He smirked. "You'd be surprised how much you can save in a few months when you don't have any bills and aren't drinking your money away."

I didn't smile back, I was too distracted. "You spent all of your money on me?"

"I didn't spend it on you. I spent it on this house. And it wasn't that much." But I had an idea of what this place must cost, and it was. "Besides, my dad was pissed that I left, but he hasn't cut me off. He let me have a big chunk of my trust before we left. That'll be more than enough to tide us over."

"Your dad let you have the money?" I was stunned. I'd only met Nathan Ivashkov once, but he didn't seem like the generous type. Or the understanding type.

"He might have just wanted to shut me up," Adrian said, "but I don't care. We have enough that we don't have to worry about anything. We have a house and food, you can go to college, I can actually afford art supplies. And if we ever have to run, we have enough to start over again someplace new."

"How much?" I asked, feeling curious, but also a little nervous.

"Enough."

"Adrian, you shouldn't spend money on me like that. I appreciate it, but I don't feel comfortable. You're family is wealthy, but I'm not their problem. I'm not your problem, either."

He looked confused, and then cautious as he asked, "You don't want me to go, do you? You haven't changed your mind? Believe me, I'd understand—"

"No," I laughed, rolling closer to him. We were both fully clothed, but the feeling of him pressed against me, even with our clothes in the way, was incredible. "We're not magically better, okay? We have a lot to work on. But I have to give you another chance, because I love you too much not to. I don't think you did what you did because you don't care about me, or were being selfish or anything. We were both put in a terrible situation."

"And I didn't handle it well."

"No, you didn't. You broke my heart. But," I gave him a small smile, "I know you're capable of fixing it. It's going to take time though."

"Time I have," he smiled back, looking at me with so much love in his eyes. "If you still want to be with me, I'll do everything I can to make you happy."

"If I didn't think that was true I would have told you to leave when you asked me," I whispered, planting a kiss on his neck and kissing my way towards his mouth. A question popped into my mind before I got too distracted and I pulled back.

"If I'd told you to leave," I said, watching him closely, "you were going to leave me the money."

"You need it more than I do," he said, looking me square in the eye.

"Adrian. I don't need money." I pulled him close, wrapping my arms around him. "I just need you. I need to know that you'll be there for me the next time things get tough. That's what I need."

"I'll always be here. I don't plan on letting you down again." He took my face in his palms and kissed me sweetly. "And I'll prove it to you. I'll spend the rest of our lives proving it, if you'll let me."

"I'm willing to give you that chance," I murmured into his skin. He dipped his lips to my ear and I sighed contentedly. "Because I know you'll follow through."

I was exhausted and, after a little more kissing and a little more talking, I fell asleep, my head resting on Adrian's chest. It was the best sleep I'd gotten in months