For the first time in her affair with Henry Mary felt exposed and guilty. The few of his men that knew kept their lips sealed, but as her belly grew she felt like she was declaring to the world, "I am the king's mistress and I am bearing his child!
Most of all she feared that Queen Katherine would know or find out. When it became obvious that Mistress Carey was with child the queen congratulated her, secretly envious of the prospect that her lady-in-waiting might carry a child full term and that the child might survive birth and even flourish.
Her own six pregnancies had resulted in just one living child and that was a girl. Her son, whom she had placed so much hope upon, had lived for a mere three months. There had been no more living children since the birth of Princess Mary and she had had to bear the humiliation of Bessie Blount bearing him a son, a son that was being raised in the palace and might be used to supplant her daughter, her legitimate daughter.
"Mistress Carey, you must sit down for a moment," said the queen, "I can tell from your face that your back and feet are hurting you. Just a little rest will help refresh you. Pregnancy is hard on a woman's body, are you thinking of retiring soon?"
"No, your majesty," Mary gave a wan smile, "I will remain at court for as long as I can. Peasant women labor until their time is upon them, if I cannot do the same, I must at least try to bear it as long as I can. I must have my maid tie my dresses looser and wear lower heels, I am sure that will help."
Katherine picked up her needlework and sighed. She would have her physician make up a posset for Madame Carey to help her aches and pains, The women of the court were expected to bear up under the burden of pregnancy. It was not fair, but it was expected of them. If she could, she would send Mistress Carey away to wait out her pregnancy, for her own reasons if nothing else. It was so unfair; she had been a pious and good queen and did not understand why god had not seen fit to give her the healthy son that the king had so desired.
Henry had abandoned Mary's bed for the duration of her pregnancy. At first, she had been resentful, but she understood how important this pregnancy was to him. If she could bear him a child, a child that lived and was healthy then that was proof to the world that it was the queen's failure to supply an heir and not his fault.
It hurt Mary to see Henry with different ladies on his arm, but in a way, it was a blessing. Since she was no longer summoned to his bed, it allowed her to get her much-needed rest. He had sent her a midwife to look after her, and she encouraged her to rest and eat well. If at first, she was afraid that eating so much would cause her to become plump, Mary soon was grateful she took her advice. The nausea went away, and though she could not help the exhaustion, her sleep improved for a while.
The weather improved and the court took advantage. Henry would take walks, his hangers-on following behind him. The queen and her ladies would follow a short way behind, and often one of his gentlemen would linger and strike up a conversation with a lady who had caught his eye.
It was in this way that William managed to steer Mary away from the group for a while so that they could talk. The way he had treated her weighed heavily on his conscience; he would never forgive himself for assaulting her. He began to slowly approach her and carry on conversations that meant nothing more than an excuse to talk to her, and Mary allowed him.
She felt guilty carrying Henry's child but there was nothing to be done. When they first married she had hoped that she and William would have children. She had dreamt of nothing more than having a family, sons that would serve the king and daughters that would serve the queen and someday make good marriages. She had had this dream since their wedding day, but no matter how hard she and William tried there had been no issue. And now her dream of a child was coming true, but the child was not William's.
"How are you feeling?" William asked. The dark shadows around her eyes worried him, but he was told this was simply the pregnancy mask and would go away after she delivered.
"Well, happy, content, for now. I have been told that as the baby grows larger it will become harder to sleep. I have also been told that my feet and hands will swell and hurt unbearably. I wish they would not tell me these things; I want to enjoy my pregnancy as long as it is possible." Mary looked up at him with her lovely hazel eyes and that look went straight to his heart.
"I am sorry for this, Mary, sorry I was not a better husband to you. When they pushed you into the king's bed I should have fought for you, but I didn't. Perhaps it is partially my fault, I was not able to give you a child and maybe I cannot, but it breaks my heart to see you pregnant with the king's baby." And to see him neglecting you and hoping that I can step back into the role of your husband.
"William, we were young. I am afraid of my father and Uncle Norfolk and afraid if I did not obey them they would separate us. Maybe we will have the chance to have a family someday, if not, we can love whatever ones we have. The king will tire of me, he always discards his mistresses, even Bessie Blount. I cannot tell you what to think of me, but you were willing to take me when I told you I had been seduced by King Francis. Maybe this is different, but I don't know. I would be willing to come back to you if you would have me." There was more courage in her words than she felt. She knew Henry's predilections; how fickle he could be. Would he take her back? She did not know but in her heart, she hoped he would.
On a day in April of 1524 Katherine Carey came into the world. Despite the fact it was Mary's first child the labor was short, and a lovely baby girl was the result. It did not bother Mary that she was not a boy, in fact, she was glad. This child would be spared the Boleyn machinations for had she born a son they would have been plotting a way to supplant Richmond, for the boy was proving sickly and no one was sure how long he would live.
Mary was content to rest and nurse her daughter in peace. She was not contained within the typical dark chambers reserved for royal women, so she was free to open the windows and let in the fresh April air. As soon as she was strong enough she would ask permission to go to Hever and recuperate in the country air. Henry as yet had made no move toward her so the only obstacles to her plan would be her father and her uncle.
The Duke of Norfolk was the first family member to make a visit. He looked at the child, and in a stern voice told her that she had not done her duty by her family and delivered the much-wanted boy.
"That is something I had no control over, Uncle. Were that the case do you not think that the queen would have given the king the prince he wanted so badly instead of a girl? I am simply grateful that she is healthy. Perhaps if I have another child it will be a boy." If there is to be another child she thought sadly.
Next, her father came to visit, and though he was no more conciliatory than his brother-in-law, at least he did not chastise her for having a girl.
"Is she healthy Mary?" He asked for it was well known that the queen's infants had been sickly, and Mary nodded.
"Yes, Father, she is very healthy, and nurses well. She is beautiful, is she not?" She held her up so her father could see.
"Yes, she is, she looks like you when you were a baby, and you were a lovely infant. But, tell me, Mary, the court will go on progress in a few months, will you be ready?"
"That will depend on how long it takes me to heal. Father, I want to go to Hever to recover can you arrange it,. If I am healthy enough I can be back in time for the court to go on summer progress. I want to nurse her for a while before I turn her over to a wet nurse. And I miss Anne, I miss Hever, and I hate seeing all those women fawning over Henry. When I return I'll know whether or not he still wants me. Maybe with a little luck, I can give you that son you and Uncle covet so badly."
"I will make arrangements," her father said, "Maybe it is best if you are fully recovered before we see if the king is still interested. In the meantime, you are young, you are healthy, and there is no reason why you cannot give Henry a son. In the meantime, we must have her baptized. George and Jane Parker will be the godparents."
She moaned; she could not help herself. "Not Jane Parker, Uncle, please! I cannot bear that woman any more than George can. I'd rather have Jane Seymour."
Her father's lips curled into a smile. "I would love to tell that to your future sister-in-law. Perhaps a Seymour would not be so bad, it will seem as if we are offering an olive branch." He bowed to her and went away chuckling.
She didn't know how he arranged it, but the baptism occurred in short order, followed by preparations for her to go to Hever. She did not know who to thank, but she was grateful that she was permitted to take the carriage and had not been relegated to a cart. Now she and little Katherine could make the twenty-mile journey to Kent in relative comfort.
Anne was waiting in the courtyard to greet her. Though they did not run to each other as they would have when they were young, the sisters embraced, holding each other as if they did not bear to let go.
Mary was surprised at the change in Anne. Her sister now seemed more mature, more sophisticated. It was as if the isolation at Hever had somehow worked a kind of magic and though the same Anne stood in front of her, the same Anne was somehow very different.
Anne scrutinized her, looking her over. "Motherhood seems to suit you. You have lost none of your looks, as a matter of fact, you are absolutely blooming. Tell me, are you happy?" She linked an arm in hers and led her into the manor house that she " had transformed into a castle.
"Yes, yes I am. I did not expect to find motherhood so fulfilling. She is the most precious thing in the world to me, Anne. I am hoping that Henry has not decided to discard me, but if he does I will still have Katherine. She means more to me now than he ever will. I know how shocking that sounds, but it's true."
"Well," said Anne, "I have been told that you bore it well when he turned to other women." She chuckled when she saw the look on Mary's face, "Don't look so surprised, George is not the greatest correspondent, but when he had juicy tidbits to share he'd write me. I guess he was trying to cheer me up. He told me the king was very fond of you, perhaps he will take you back, especially now that he knows you're capable of bearing healthy children."
"Don't say that, Anne, don't even think it. I want my children to make good marriages and positions at court, but that's it. I don't want them caught up in the Boleyn machinations. The king is not acknowledging her, and I'm glad. She's Katherine Carey and that's her shield. It's too dangerous to be close to the throne and I don't want that for her. If the king takes me back and I have another child, I'll make sure he's a Carey too."
"Well, Mary, how do you hope to avoid it? A daughter means nothing, but a son could be king if Henry wills it. We are not so safe as you think."