AN: As Mr Mackey says: Drugs are bad MmmKay
I totally butchered the lyrics in Emily Kinney's 'Kids' so it fit in with my story.
The Walking Deth - Part III
Where we belong - Chapter V
Meeting Mary
It was poking into my backside again. Like it did every morning. And like every morning I closed my eyes against the dawn light creeping through the window blinds, and repeated my Mantra in my head.
It's Daryl. It's Daryl. It's Daryl.
But it never gave me the strength to do anything about it. I was never able to roll over towards him, rip his sweat pants off and climb on top, as I had played it out in my mind so many times. So I just lay there, allowing him to press it in to the fleshy parts of me, while he shifted and sighed uncomfortably, and I stared at the grain in the leather on the sofa.
Some mornings he would rub his warm and rough hands over my skin, and cause my spine to shiver and my hair to stand on end. And some mornings he would simply give me a quick kiss on the cheek and then jump out of bed trying to avoid touching any other part of me.
On this particular morning it was the former. He had wrapped his arm around me and drew my body back into him firmly. He pressed his erection into me so hard, that I was sure my backbone was going to end up black and blue. Then he rubbed his hand firmly over the fleece that clung to my breast, and then dragged his hand down to my waist kneading and caressing me on the way. He had tucked his fingers under my sweatshirt and gently circled his fingers under the fabric trailing back and forth across my skin and circling around my naval. It felt nice. Real nice. And the usual twitching and clenching between my legs started.
He leaned forward and pressed his lips to my ear and rested them there for a moment before speaking.
"You awake?" He murmured.
I tried to speak, but the words where caught in my throat so I just nodded.
He pressed two fingers into the fleshy part of my belly, and started walking them down towards the waistband of my panties, and then he slipped them under it and made his way down under the cotton fabric.
I held my breath, unsure of what thoughts or feelings his touch on that part of my body would bring.
He wound his fingers slowly through the curls, wrapping them across his fingers, and then pushed further down, to my most delicate spot. He pushed a single finger down over it and pressed it inwards firmly, and I let out a moan, as everything in the area began to tingle and throb.
So far, so good.
He began rubbing in a firm circular motion, while he placed wet kisses over my shoulder and neck, and I sighed and gasped as the throbbing intensified. I gripped onto the blanket with one hand, and with the other I ran it over the solid muscles of his forearm, feeling them roll beneath my fingers as he worked on me.
You're doing it!
I let out a loud groan as I threw my head back, curled my toes, and arched my back, which pressed his erection in to my backside even harder. He let out his own groan and then tucked my pelvis into his, using the hand that was fondling with my sweet-spot.
He moved his finger down delicately towards my quivering, wet opening, and slipped it inside me up to the last knuckle.
I gasped again at the sudden, intense and foreign sensation. It had been nearly two months since anything had been in there, and it almost felt like I was untouched and new. As he rubbed the finger back and forth pulling it in and out of me rapidly, slapping his palm against my pearl, I thought of the last thing that was in there.
It was not Daryl's finger, it wasn't his tongue, and it wasn't his erection. It wasn't anything that belonged to Daryl.
"Stop." I gasped urgently as I put my hand to his wrist and dragged it away from me.
Daryl let out a sigh and lay still behind me for a few moments, with his wet hand still on my hip.
"…I'm sorry." I muttered
I felt him shift behind me, and then he was sitting up and leaning over so he could see my face.
"Does it hurt or somethin'?"
I shook my head.
"Only in here." I brought my fingers to my chest and pushed them into the plush grey fleece of the sweater, indicating the position of my fluttering heart.
You have to put it away. You have to. Or it kills you.
Daryl let out another sigh and kissed me on my shoulder, exposed by the loose collar of the sweater.
"It'll get better." He murmured against my skin.
I reached over my shoulder to grab his hand and gave it a squeeze.
"I know it will."
He gave me a grin and a gently chuck below the chin.
"I'mma take a shower."
He rolled away from me and crawled off the makeshift sofa bed and onto the floor. I rolled over to my stomach so I could watch him as he groaned, and stretched the muscles on his toned back, while pressing his shapely arms into the air.
He had been taking a lot of showers lately. He had been having one every single morning for at least two weeks. That was more than what I was having. It was more than he had ever taken in the whole time I had known him. I guessed he just liked to take advantage of the fact that we had hot water to shower with. But I didn't know how he would continue with his ritual come summer when the water supply started to dry up.
"You go back to sleep." He said over his shoulder before bending to collect his clothing and boots off the floor.
I couldn't go back to sleep. My pulse was still racing from what had happened that morning. Or what had failed to happen. I wished I was stronger, more resilient. Like these children we took care of. Their parents had all died, and then the people who should have taken care of them had all left them alone for months. They had been locked inside a room with a decaying body. They had seen their friends and family die. Yet every day they got up bright eyed and smiling, and laughed and played the day away, in a way only kids seemed to know how.
I stretched out, arching my back and pressing my shoulders and backside to the ceiling and then I reached down over the arm of the sofa to grab my guitar. I pulled it on to my lap and started plucking at the strings, humming along as I sung the lyrics in my head of the song I had been writing over the past couple of weeks. Daryl was standing with his hand on the door handle to the corridor, watching me with a tranquil smile on his face.
"Why don't you ever let me hear it?"
I stopped playing and humming. "Hear what?"
"What you been writin'."
I pursed my lips as I thought it over. The song I had been writing had been all about me getting over my fear of being with him. I didn't want to sing it to him until I was sure I was over my fear.
"Why don't you let me see your pictures?" I asked, trying to shift the focus of conversation.
Daryl shrugged his shoulders and looked down to his bare feet.
"I dunno…they're kinda for myself, you know? They help me think about shit. I ain't no performin' seal, just wanna way to keep my thoughts."
I gave him a reassuring smile, happy that he was finding a healthy way to explore what was going on his mind.
"I will let you hear it…when it's ready."
Daryl pressed his lips together as if in thought and nodded his head slowly at me. "I'll let you see my snaps…When I'm ready."
With that he slipped out the door, and I reached down to grab my journal. I flipped the page over and pulled out my pen to write down the new lyrics I had thought of. A blue line trailed out of the pen on to the page and then disappeared. I shook the pen and then scribbled it on the corner of the page, but it just left a mess of ridges.
I put the journal down and climbed off the bed and went searching in the supply cabinet for a new pen. The large oak cabinet under the aerial photograph of the school was where I had found boxes of paper and other supplies before, and I figured it might have pens in there too. I opened the cabinet and moved some boxes around, opening them up to check the contents and putting them back. The first shelf was nothing but paper, staples and paper clips, so I moved to the bottom shelf, reaching to the back of the cabinet until my hands rested on a cold, hard, metal box. I dragged it out to find that it was a lock box, with a keyhole for a tiny key.
I had found a key earlier when we had first moved in here and taped it into my journal hoping to find what it opened. The slot in the lock looked about the size and shape of the key, so I went to my journal, took it out and tried it out. The lock clicked as the tumbler slid to the side, and the lid popped open like a jack in the box.
There were a few cell phones, a bean filled, multi-coloured ball, some magazines and a small silver, floral engraved flask with a screw top lid, which looked similar to one daddy once owned. I gave it a shake, and estimated that there was still something left in it, but not much. I unscrewed the lid and smelt the contents. It was a strong odour that burnt the inside of my nose. At a guess I would say whiskey, but I wasn't too knowledgeable on the smell of liquor. I put it back in the box and picked up one of the magazines and studied the topless woman on the cover posing on a red car. It had captions on it like 'World class head, celebrity tits' and 'cock control:101.' The second one was similar, but had a completely naked woman leaning over a bath tub with bubbles slipping down her thighs. The third one was written in a foreign language, Western European by the look. The front cover just had a woman's face so I flicked through the pages, curious about its contents. It was filled with images of things that were probably supposed to be sexual, but they just looked painful and inhumanly possible to me. I dropped the magazine straight down into the box like it was a hot coal, and slammed the lid of the lock box shut, and closed my eyes as I tried to push the images burnt into the back of my skull out of my mind. I figured it must have been items that were confiscated from the students, and I wondered if the principal had deliberately kept them or if he had just never been able to give them back.
I found a box of pens, next to the lock box, so I took one out and went back to my journal to edit my lyrics. Then I gave them a run through.
Forget the pastwe've had, forget the pain we've lived
Oh you and I are experts at pretending to be kids
Wash off all your grass stains, I'll pull off my shoes
Let's love like we are kids …all shiny and new
The mention of grass stains made me think of the current state of Daryl's clothes. They were absolutely filthy. He wouldn't let me anywhere near them after I had thrown his last pair of pants out. It seemed pointless having all the showers he was having if he kept putting the same sweaty, dirty, bloody clothes back on.
I put down my journal and went looking for my sweatpants, before racing out the door, hoping I could catch Daryl before he finished his shower and my opportunity was lost.
It had only just come to dawn, and the school corridors were dim and dark, and the linoleum floor was icy under my feet. I tucked my hands inside the sleeves of the oversized sweater and gave a little shudder as I made my way towards the change room door. I put my sweatshirt fleece covered hand to the door handle and pushed it down. Unlocked. That was good; I could steal his clothes without him even knowing. I ducked quietly through the door, softy closed it behind me and then padded over to the shower area keeping low and crouching behind the tiled half wall. I could hear the water pattering down on the tiles, and I could hear Daryl too. It sounded like he was sighing, or panting…was he crying? I stood up straight to see what the matter was, and tried not to collapse in laughter at the sight of him.
He was standing with his back to me, with his left arm braced against the wall and his head under the stream of water. His long hair was falling thick and soaked in front of his face, and the water was cascading down over his shoulder blades, his back and backside, making the tattoos and scars that lived there shine and shimmer in the morning light. His right arm was bent out towards me and his hand was reaching between his legs. His muscular arm was jerking up and down in a fast rhythmic motion.
Daryl turned sharply at the sound of my stifled chuckling and nearly lost his balance, slipping on the wet floor. He steadied himself with the hand on the wall, while he tried to cover himself with the other hand, but it was no use. His erection grew straight out of his hand like a tree from the earth.
"What the fuck, Greene?" He cried.
"What are you doin'?" I asked, between giggles.
"What am I… Just get out!" He took his hand off the wall and then pointed to the door, and then put it back on top of his other hand covering the remainder of his erection.
I walked casually over to his pile of clothes on the floor.
"You know the door was unlocked…what if one of the kids came in and saw…that." I let out another chuckle.
"They're all sleepin'…and you're s'pose to be playin' that damn six string…and get the fuck out!"
"Let me do somethin' about these for you." I snatched up the clothes by my feet leaving only his sweat pants, and then backed to the door.
"Greene, if you throw out any of my shit…I'll put you to my knee and spank you." He threatened half-heartedly.
I ducked through the doors opening.
"Better finish spanking that first." I teased as I pointed to his hand-covered erection and then shut the door behind me.
I couldn't get the smile of my face as I walked back through the hallway and upstairs to our room. I danced back through the corridor of the faculty offices, with visions of the wet, jerking Daryl in my mind, and was startled when I saw a tiny shadow standing by my door.
It was little Winnie, with her curly hair growing wild by her face. She was standing in her night dress with a threadbare, sagging teddy tucked under her arm as she rubbed at her big brown eyes.
"What's the matter Winnie?" I asked her, even though I knew she couldn't respond. She pattered towards me, wrapped her arms around my legs and pushed her face into my thigh.
"Did you have a bad dream?" I asked as I looked down on her.
She looked up at me and nodded.
"Do you want me to take you back to bed?"
She shook her head.
"Do you want to help me get breakfast started?"
She nodded.
I tucked Daryl's clothes under my arm and then took Winnie's tiny hand and led her downstairs to the cafeteria kitchen.
I dumped his clothes onto the stainless steel bench next to the wash bucket and washboard, and then helped Winnie to climb up on to the bench beside the cook top. I fished out some eggs from the basket, a large bowl and a beater and put them on the bench next to Winnie.
"Do you wanna scramble the eggs for me?"
Winnie beamed up at me and nodded. Winnie loved helping me with everything. Cooking, cleaning, gardening, collecting eggs, milking the cow, perimeter checks. She was always right by my side, watching my every move.
I helped her crack the eggs into the bowl and then handed her the beater and she began whipping it around in the bowl as fast as her little arms could.
While she did that I sliced some bread from the loaf I had baked the day before, and put it under the griller to toast it.
"Miss Beth." Came a soft voice, as tiny as a mouse's squeak. My jaw dropped and I turned my face towards the normally silent little girl who had just spoken her first words in my presence.
"Y...yes?"
Winnie looked down into the frothy sludge of white and yellow she was mixing.
"Are you my momma?"
I caught my breathe at both the nature of the question and the normally mute person who was asking it. I shook away my shock and then put my hand to her tiny arm.
"I'm not your momma, Winnie. Your momma died when you were little."
Winnie pouted into the bowl, and my heart sank at her disappointed expression.
"…but I do care about you. Very, very much. You and all the kids here."
"What is a momma?" She asked in speech that was so clear, I was sure she had been rehearsing it in her mind for weeks.
"…well…it's someone who looks out for you; washes your clothes, and feeds you, and cleans you, and plays with you, and reads you bed time stories, wipes away your tears, tries to keep you safe…and who cares for you."
Winnie's face screwed up in confusion.
"Marie says that's what you do…so you are my momma?"
"No I'm…" I paused for a moment of thought. "…Sort of…I'm like your surrogate momma. A momma who takes care of you when your other momma can't."
Winnie started pouting again.
"But…if you like...you can call me momma."
Daryl would be furious at me for saying that. He was constantly growling at the kids for calling me mom or him dad, even though most times it was an accident. He didn't want me to get too attached to the children. He kept telling me the little ones never lasted long, but I knew these little ones would always be safe with us.
Winnie pushed the bowl away and leant her tiny body forward and wrapped her arms around me, and I returned the embrace while I stroked my hand through her curly hair.
My heart sunk into my stomach as I thought about the other little girl I had left behind, who I thought might one day ask to call me momma.
Once the eggs and toast were cooked I went back upstairs to get dressed and call everyone to breakfast. Daryl had been outside, sharpening his knife with Mix by his side, and I called him in to eat with us. He came in and sat by one of the circular tables, blushing and avoiding my eyes. I grinned at him, and relished in the idea that I had something to tease him about.
When the children all had their plates I went to bring Daryl his plate and eat by him. He shifted uncomfortably in my presence, while shovelling the wobbling eggs into his mouth.
"I'm sorry about earlier." I tried to sound as sincere as possible, although the thought of Daryl in the shower still made me smile.
He swallowed. "Nah, I shoulda locked the door. Was stupid."
"…not about that…that made my morning…"
He stopped poking at the eggs and clenched his jaw.
"…I'm sorry that I made you wait."
He turned his head to look at me, while slowly chewing.
"I said it's okay." He mumbled.
"I know…I just don't think I can…yet." My amusing thoughts of watching him fondle himself in the shower were now replaced with anxious thoughts about never being able to give myself to him again.
"It's cool, Greene." He flashed a comforting grin at me, and I wondered how much of it was forced.
Daryl finished what he was eating and then declared he was going to get some dinner for tonight.
"You take Mix with you." I insisted, pointing a firm finger at him.
"You know I like 'im to stay with you and the kids." He argued.
I crossed my arms over my chest staunchly.
"No. That's bein' unreasonable. We've been here for nearly two months and we've never had a large herd come through here, and even if we did, these fences are secure. Out there in the wild you have nothin'… Mix goes where he's needed, and he's needed with you."
Mix started pawing at the glass door from outside in the courtyard as if he could hear us talking about him.
Daryl sighed in resignation.
"Okay. Need some man time I guess." He replied with a smirk.
As if he had been listening to our conversation all along, Austin piped in from the table across from ours.
"Can I come?"
"Sure…" Daryl started.
"No." I interrupted. "You have chores and lessons to do. You haven't finished that character work for me yet."
Austin groaned and pouted and poked at his eggs, sullenly.
"Think that one might be an outdoor cat." Daryl said with a frown while he nodded his head towards the sulking boy. He gave his head a gently shake as if shifting a thought and then gave me a kiss on the cheek before collected his gear and leaving through the glass doors to the courtyard.
After we had all eaten, I called the older children to do their chores while I took the wash basket outside to do the laundry. I sat down on the gravel while I watched the younger children play their crossover version of chess and knights and dragons on the black and white tiles.
I washed my clothes first as they were the cleanest, and then the children's, and then went to do Daryl's, which were encrusted with thick brown and black gunk.
I emptied all of his pockets to find his red rag, a few balls of lint, a piece of dried jerky, a ball of string, a lighter, a list of shopping supplies and a packet of cigarettes. He had run out of his last pack of cigarettes a couple of days ago. They had been the Virginia slims he had picked up from Austin's house, that he said his own mother used to smoke. This pack was like the ones he had before; The Marlboro lights. He had smoked his last one over a month ago I was sure. I opened it up to see it wasn't empty. There were still two cigarettes left, and I wondered why he had complained about smoking girl's cigarettes if he still had two of his other ones left. I examined them closer. They were different from regular cigarettes, thicker and hand rolled. I took one out to examine it and have a smell.
It wasn't a cigarette at all. It was one of the…what did people call them? Joints. The one's I told him I didn't want to smoke back at the motel. Had he kept them all this time? I thought he had thrown them away; at least that is what he had led me to believe. Was this why he had been so guarded about his clothing? And why was he keeping secrets from me anyway?
I put them back in the packet and tucked the pack inside my shirt. We would have a talk about it when he got home.
I hung the clothes up on the strings I had tied to the steel posts supporting the courtyard canopy, and then collected my crossbow for some target practice.
The practice wasn't so much for hitting targets, as all I had to practice on was a cross on the tree, chipped away by arrow holes. There wasn't any challenge hitting stationary targets, but the only thing we had around that moved was the odd walker, and we saw them so rarely.
I used the time to practice stringing the bow. Although I felt safe within these walls, Daryl was always insisting I work on the speed that I used it in-case there came a time when I needed it. I was getting much better at it now, and it was only taking me a few seconds to string it between shots, although it still strained my muscles and tore against the soft skin on my hands, and I was sure my arms would be as solid as Daryl's one day soon.
When the kids had finished their chores we went into the classroom to do their daily lessons. The younger kids had been reading a book, and drawing their favourite character, and the older kids had been working on good and bad stereotypes in movies. Daryl thought it was a waste of time teaching the kids English. He said it wasn't like they were going to become professors or anything anyway, but I insisted. I hoped that one day the world would need educated young people, once again.
I was kneeling by Marie's desk helping with her work when Winnie came up to me and presented me with a crayon drawing of a stick figure woman with a pink triangular dress and waving yellow hair.
"I drew you momma." She called in her small, soft voice, waiting for approval.
The children all stopped what they were doing and looked to Winnie, looking shocked at her sudden ability to speak, and also at what she had said.
"She's not your momma, Winnie." Her brother, Tommy C, called from behind me as he looked over my shoulder at the drawing, and then glanced at me warily.
"It's okay…she can call me that…if she wants."
"I want to call you momma too." Cried Lyra.
"Me too." Came a staggered chorus of voices, and I suddenly felt overwhelmed. Daryl would be mortified with me.
"I ain't callin' you momma." Came Daryl's voice right out of Austin's mouth.
I looked over to the boy who was holding the pencil in his hand to his paper and frowning at me.
"You don't have to…I just thought…"
We were interrupted by a tap at the door, and by Daryl seen through the glass pane with a big smile upon his grime covered face, and dangling a grey furred rabbit in the air.
Welcoming the interruption I went over and opened the door for him. He lifted the rope over his shoulder to show two more rabbits strung by the neck.
"Spring rabbits." He beamed. "Who wants to help me skin 'em." He called to the children.
"Me!" Called Austin, throwing his pencil to his desk and kicking his chair out.
"No you need to finish your work." I told him firmly. He ignored me and pushed past me out the door to stand behind Daryl.
"Outdoor cat." Daryl said with a shrug, and they both walked off down the corridor, and out of sight.
Later that night after a warm rabbit and vegetable stew seasoned with fresh herbs, I tucked the kids into bed, while Daryl did a perimeter check with Mix. I went downstairs for a quick shower before bed, and to wash my hair after an afternoon of digging through the vegetable garden.
When I got back upstairs to the darkened principal's office, lit only with moonlight, I flicked on the desk lamp illuminating the room with warmth, and rehearsed in my head what I was going to say to Daryl about the…joints, when he got back.
He had clearly kept them secret from me, which I didn't like. But he also hadn't smoked them. Maybe he was saving them for something. Maybe he thought he might convince me to smoke them with him one day. I didn't ever think I would, but once upon a time alcohol had helped me to let go of my worries, and it had opened up my relationship with Daryl. Maybe he did save them for a purpose after all. Maybe this was what I needed to let go of my fears and inhibitions.
My thoughts slipped to the flask of whiskey in the lockbox. I had more experience with alcohol. Maybe that was what I needed to give me the confidence I needed I talk to him, and maybe to do other things with him too. I went to the box and pulled out the flask and opened it to smell the contents once more, and screwed up my nose at the harsh smelling liquor.
At that moment Daryl walked in and I shoved the lockbox back in the cabinet and closed it, before turning to him holding the flask behind my back.
"Man I'm beat." Daryl groaned as he dropped himself down on the arm of the sofa and pulled off his mud encrusted boots, which crumbled dirt on to the rug.
He pulled off the baggy torn sweat pants he had worn as a replacement to his jeans and kicked them into the corner of the room, and then tore off the black rocker tee, he had used as a replacement to his flannel.
"Hey, you wash my clothes yet?" He asked as he pulled on his sleeping sweats.
"I sure did." I replied in a reserved tone.
He furrowed his brow, and looked towards my arms that were bent behind my back.
"Somethin' the matter?"
I pulled out the flask and held it in front of my face to examine it.
"Let's play a game." I said.
"What is that?" He asked stepping towards me.
I backed away.
"I think it's whiskey."
"You wanna get drunk?" He asked with an amused chuckle.
"Maybe." I said with a shrug. "Let's play….I never."
I held the flask up between the two of us in a mock toast.
"I dunno, Beth, we gotta keep our heads in-case…"
"I've never…" I interrupted. "Masturbated in the shower." I smirked at him and then took a swig. The taste was a little like molasses and it burnt my throat as it went down, and caused immediate warmth in my belly.
"I don't think that's how it's done." Daryl said with a chuckle, before reaching forward to grab the flask. I ducked out of his reach again.
"I've never…shot myself with an arrow." I took another swig.
"Hey, that ain't fair, smartass." Daryl said in a tone of false offense. "It was your darn ponies fault… and that's not how you play."
"I've never…broken into a school so I could steal stuff to make drugs."
The smile on Daryl's face fell and he glowered at me.
Watching him intensely I took another swig without letting my eyes leave his. I strolled around him and paced casually over to the other side of the room turning my back to him.
"I've never spent a whole day 'hunting'." I made quote marks in the air. "And come back empty handed and covered in blood." I took another swig and then turned back to face him. I was already starting to feel warm from the whiskey and my face was burning and my hands and feet were throbbing.
"I've never kept somethin' from you." I tipped the flask into my mouth and swallowed the last drop. Then I turned it upside down and gave it a shake so a few drops came out and landed on the floor rug.
"Oops, it's all gone, and you haven't had your turn yet." I tossed the flask over my shoulder, and heard it thud somewhere behind me.
"Beth, what's this all about…"
I held up my finger to silence him and then pulled the Marlboro packet out of my sweater. He glanced at it and then groaned and pressed his hands to his head, pointing his elbows to the side.
"I meant to tell you…"
"I've never…" I interrupted, while pulling out a…Joint. "Been…" I racked my brain for the right word. "…stoned."
Daryl dropped his arms to his side and slumped over guiltily while looking up at me with a frown on his face.
"Do you have a lighter?" I asked as I placed the joint between my lips.
I watched in delight as a smile slowly crept on to Daryl's face as he straightened out in front of me.
"You wanna get stoned?"
I shrugged. "Why not?"
Daryl reached forward and snatched it out of my mouth, and then turned back to the sofa. He sifted through the pocket in the sweat pants he had worn that day and pulled out a lighter and then casually lay across the sofa and put the joint in his mouth
"Come over 'ere girl." He mumbled with his lips around the joint, while waving me over and then lighting it.
I sauntered over to him, feeling a little light headed and unsteady on my feet, and climbed on to the sofa across from his and sat cross legged, watching as his cheeks hollowed out as he sucked on the joint. He took the joint out and held his fist to his lips, while giving a little choking sound as if he was trying to hold n a laugh. Then he blew out a stream of smoke slowly into the air.
"Ain't too bad for three year old shit." He commented.
He sat up and then held the joint towards my mouth. I put my lips warily around the end of it, feeling like a complete novice.
"You gotta inhale it…not suck it." He advised me. "And try to hold it in for a lil'."
He re-lit it and then waved for me to continue.
I did as I was told inhaling deeply and then choking as the smoke filled my lungs. I spat it straight out and started coughing and spluttering, while scratching at my burning throat and gasping for air.
"That's…awful." I choked out between coughs.
Daryl chortled at me while he went searching for a bottle of water and threw it my way before joining me back on the sofa bed. I gulped down the water, letting the cool sensation relive the burning itch.
"You're a lil' green, Greene." Daryl chuckled to himself. "Here try again." He held it towards my lips.
"Aren't you gonna have some more?" I asked
"Nah, I can't get high, girl. I gotta take care of you. You already been drinkin', wouldn't be much of a chaperone now would I?"
I shrugged my shoulder and took the joint to my lips again. This time I tried to withhold my coughs and held the smoke in while I puffed out my cheeks.
Daryl threw his head back and laughed up at the celling, his whole body trembling in amusement.
"You look like a blonde chimpanzee." He looked back at me, with a dopey grin on his face.
I blew out the smoke and gave another cough.
"Shuddup." I cried playfully. "You have another now."
My hands were starting to feel all tingly, and my face felt really heavy, and I wondered if I was drunk, or stoned or both.
Daryl took another small puff, and then put it back to my lips, and I inhaled deeply. I blew it out and took another swig of the water to sooth my throat and then looked to Daryl's grinning face.
"You're a motherfuckin' stoner lil' Miss Greene."
I shrugged, and feeling happy and relaxed, I opened my mouth waiting for him to hit me with it again.
"Nah, girl that shits pretty strong. Best save it for another night, hey?"
I shook my head. "One night only. After tonight I'm throwin' it."
Daryl looked hesitant, but shrugged his shoulders anyway, and held it out for me.
"Okay one more."
I took another puff and then Daryl leaned over the side of the sofa and put the joint out using the bottom of his boot.
"How you feelin'?" He asked when he had returned to his position sitting across from me.
"I feel…warm…and happy…and like laughing at something stupid." I started giggling at my own words, somehow finding them hilarious.
"I think I might be a little bit drunk."
Daryl frowned. "Yep, thinkin' I might have my work cut out for me tonight."
I suddenly found the courage to ask him something that had been on my mind since when we had first arrived at the school.
"The drugs that you said you could make with the stuff from the chemistry lab… Did you take them?"
Daryl flicked his eyes towards me and then looked down at his crossed legs and gave his shoulders a shrug.
"I ain't gonna lie, I tried just 'bout everythin' once. But Merle started runnin' the shit when I was still a kid. I saw 'nough fucked up users to know not to get hooked on nothin'. I had a bit of E, and smoked a bit o' crystal after Merle gave me a hard time and I was bein' too much of a pussy to stand up for myself. I tried shrooms and acid, just 'cause I wanted to know if I would see walkin' eyeballs or some shit. Had a weekend bender on blow that didn't end too great. Knew not to go there again. Never ever did no mothafuckin' smack, and if Merle ever touched the shit I woulda beat his dumbass down. My only real poison was Mary and Moonshine."
I had no idea what he was talking about, but I liked the sound of his last line.
"Mary and Moonshine." I repeated enjoying how the alliteration rolled off my tongue and then giggling at the sound of my own voice.
"You know that song…the one that goes. I'm in love with Mary Jane…she's my main thing." I sang the lyrics for him.
"Yeah I think I know the one."
"That's not about him bein' in love with a girl is it?"
Daryl chuckled. "If a song has Mary-Jane in it, then it's probably not about a girl named Mary-Jane."
I searched my brain thinking of all the songs I had heard that mentioned Mary-Jane, and laughed at the sheer volume that came to mind.
"Gee, a lot of people smoke drugs, hey?"
"I told ya. It's no drug. The government fills your head with bullshit. Control the masses and all that other shit."
"I think it was the government."
"You do?"
"Yeah. The government made us all sick."
Daryl threw his head back and brayed like a donkey.
"Greene, you're as high as a mothafuckin' kite on helium." He wiped away tears from his eyes.
"No I'm not. I just see things clearer now."
Daryl sniggered.
"Okay I'll hear you out. Why did the government make us all sick?"
"They wanted to make super humans who couldn't be killed… and send them off to war."
"This is fuckin' hilarious." Daryl continued to laugh at me batting his hands against his knees, with tears streaming down his face.
"No I'm serious! I know they can do that, I know they have biochemical weapons and stuff."
Daryl sighed and made feeble attempts at controlling his laughter.
"Okay, so if our government was usin' this weapon to fight in wars, then why is it destroyin' the country they're tryna protect?"
I shrugged.
"It was a mistake. They just wanted to test it on a small area. Like at Roswell or somethin', and it got out of hand."
"Where the aliens are?"
"Yeah they must have tested it on aliens and it mutated or somethin' and now instead of making us stronger it just makes us fall apart and makes us real, real hungry, like we have to eat brains and stuff."
Daryl chuckled and shook his head.
"Okay you're ruinin' my buzz now, girl. Let's change the subject."
I tried to think of another subject, but my clouded head was still on walkers.
"Walkers is such a dumb name."
"Whatya prefer, Geeks?"
"No that's stupid too. And so is biters, and freaks, and rotters…we should call them…zzz" I chuckled as the sound vibrated my tongue. "zzzz….zombies!"
"Zombie's? Now that is a dumbass name."
"Yeah, let's call 'em zombies…." I held my hands out in front of me and rolled my eyes back into my head. "braaaaaaiinsss."
Daryl started laughing at me again, his face bright red and tears forming in his eyes again.
"Too bad this is one night only, Greene. People would pay a pretty penny to see this shit."
I smiled at him, thinking how this was the most I had ever seen him laugh before, and then I started rubbing my belly as my thoughts slipped back to hungry walkers looking for brains. Although I would prefer something more tasty than brains. Something crunchy and cheesy.
"I'm real hungry…have we got any Cheetos?"
Daryl chuckled. "Fresh out of Cheetos, Greene."
"Let's go to the store they'll have some." I started pulling myself off the couch and Daryl grabbed me by the sweater and dragged me back down.
"Already cleaned out the store, and no Cheetos."
I wriggled out of Daryl's grip, pulled myself off the sofa and walked over to the map on the principal's desk, and looked it over.
"How about we go here? They might have Cheetos." I said, pointing to the nearest town.
Daryl sighed and shook his head condescendingly.
"I will find you some motherfuckin' cheese balls tomorrow. We're not goin' nowhere now."
I stomped my heavy legs back over to the sofa s and started tugging at Daryl's arm trying to get him up.
"But I really, really want some now…" I whined. "C'mon we won't be gone long the kids will be alright." His large heavy body was not budging from that sofa.
"Greene, We are not getting Cheetos." He said it firmly but with a gentle smile on his lips. "Why can't we just sit 'ere and chill?" He patted on the sofa across from him, indicating where he wanted me to sit. I turned and walked towards the door.
"Where you goin'?" He asked with an impatient sigh.
"I'mma go to the art room and paint me some Cheetos."
"You're gonna…eat…paper Cheetos?" Daryl started laughing at me again. What did he think I was, insane?
"No I just want to look at them. I forgot what they looked like."
Daryl crawled off the sofa and walked over to me, shaking his head and chuckling.
"What the hell was in that whisky? And why can't you just stay put?" He grabbed my wrist and started dragging me back to our bed.
He left me by the sofas and then rummaged around in his bag and threw me a brown coloured plastic jar.
"Have some peanut butter, might take the edge off the Cheeto cravin'."
The peanut butter looked delicious in its untouched jar, gleaming in the warm lamp light, so I jumped on to the sofa, sat cross legged and opened the jar and started scooping the peanut butter into my mouth using my fingers.
"Mmmm this PB is so sticky and crunchy" I mumbled, while I flicked my tongue around in my mouth, enjoying the flavour and texture. "It's all stuck to my mouth" I scooped my tongue against the roof of my mouth and then I licked what was left on my fingers, and Daryl watched me with his blue eyes suddenly serious and focused.
"It's the most delicious PB I've ever had." I added, while I stared into his face mesmerized by his beauty.
"Lemme have some of that PB." He said, grabbing at my hand. I scooped up another lot with two fingers and then put them into his waiting open mouth, and he pressed his lips around my fingers and wrapped his warm, moist tongue around them, suckling every last bit of peanut butter off.
He pulled my hand back and my fingers left his mouth with a wet pop.
"You got some on your…" He put his thumb to the corner of my mouth and started rubbing gently across, pulling my lip out as he moved.
I put my hand to his to still it. "Your hands… They're so rough…and warm." I gently turned his palm and kissed the tips of his fingers.
I ran my eyes over his dark hair falling around his face, over his cool blue eyes that acted as windows to his guarded soul, to the fine lines that creased the skin by his eyes, then over his defined cheek bones, to the mole above the corner of his mouth, and to the greying hair that grew above his lip and over his chin.
"I want to kiss you." I breathed. My body suddenly overwhelmed with quivering and pulsating desire.
"I ain't gonna stop you."
I leant forward and pushed my lips cautiously in to his, as if I had never kissed him before. I drew away and licked off some of the peanut butter residue, which had come from both his mouth and mine.
"Your lips are so cushy, they feel like…pillows of air." I kissed him again, this time lingering a little longer. "I feel like I could be suffocated in them." I mumbled.
He gave a soft chuckle, into my mouth and I kissed him again, letting my tongue edge carefully into his mouth, absorbing the sensation the warmth and wetness of his lips and how they fitted so perfectly against mine. I put my hands to his bare shoulders and started rubbing my hands down each of his arms.
"…and your muscles are so hard… I can feel them under your skin…. I can feel every fibre rollin' under my hands." I murmured against his lips.
I trailed my fingers down to his hands and then tucked them under his palms so I could interlock my fingers with his.
I pulled away from his face, and looked into his eyes. "What does it feel like to have sex when you're on drugs?"
Daryl took a shallow breath and his fingers twitched in mine.
"It depends on the drug. Some put you right on edge… feelin' like the smallest touch will push you over, and you'll jus' land in a pool of…ecstasy."
My body trembled as I thought of how that must feel.
"Some you barely have the energy to fuck…but if you manage to do it, It's pretty intense."
I chewed on my lip anxiously. My blood was coursing hotly through my veins. My heart was thumping in my chest. My quivering sensitive parts were screaming to be touched.
"I think…I want to feel that." I released my hands from his and wrapped my arms around his shoulders while I pulled him, by the back of the head, in to kiss me. He put his hands to my shoulder and stilled me with my face just in font of his, our noses touching, our eyes staring. He swallowed deeply.
"Are you sure you wanna do that?" He breathed.
"Yesss." I hissed eagerly before forcing my mouth over his, and drawing him in to my body.
His hands moved from my shoulders, under my arms and to my back, and he kneaded them against my back as he made his was down towards my backside. He flipped them under the hem of my sweater, and ran them over my soft tingling skin. His hands felt hot and hard as they pushed against me, tugging me into his strong, secure and warm embrace.
His tongue, still sweet with the taste of peanut butter, rolled through my mouth, exploring every corner, as my tongue danced in his. His rough lips closed around mine, and he drew them into his mouth. Sucking, and licking, and nipping at them with his teeth.
His hands dragged up my back, pulling along my sweater, and he slipped it over my head and then tossed it to the floor.
His mouth went back to mine, as his burning fingers made their way to my nipples and squeezed them, twisted them and tweaked them, while massaging the flesh on my breasts, with the heal of his hand. I let out a loud moan into his mouth as the nerves between my legs, shuddered and twitched and sang.
"I need you now!" I called urgently, overwhelmed with desire.
He pulled away from me and tugged off his pants in a single lightning fast movement and threw them to the floor. Then he pushed me down on to the sofa by my shoulders, and began pressing wet kisses against the skin on my chest. His mouth moved to my nipple and he swirled his tongue over it, causing me to throw my head back and moan, as I was overwhelmed with an intense whole body shuddering.
"No…do it now." I groaned, not wanting to play around anymore.
His eyes flicked up at me and he gave me smirk that sent a jolt through my entire body, and I thought I would lose myself and explode right there and then just by him looking at me. He grabbed at the band of my panties on my hips with both hands and tugged them down, sliding the sodden fabric over my thighs.
Then he positioned himself above me and held his erection mere inches away, while my warm, wet and trembling opening was begging for him to enter.
"You sure you're okay?" He asked while taking deep anticipatory breathes.
"Yes." I cried as I wrapped my legs around his hips and pulled him into me firmly.
We both groaned in ecstasy as out parts finally met. He forced his way through my aroused, tight muscles, which felt like they had never been stretched before. He cussed under his breath, while I threw my head back, squeezed my eyes shut, and continued to moan as wave upon wave of heat took over my body.
He started moving himself within me slowly and deliberately. He would push himself all the way until his pubic area ground against my sweet spot, and he was touching my innermost depths, and then he would draw out of me, until my channel was lamenting over its loss.
He continued this over and over, while I writhed and moaned and begged him to give it to me harder. He drew me tight into his chest, while he ran his hands over my back and sides, pressing and tugging and pulling at my skin. He kissed me along my neck and throat and then moved to my ear and chewed delicately on my lobe.
"I love you, girl." He whispered into my ear, and I felt another orgasm take hold of my body as a wave of ecstatic emotions flooded through my body.
"I love you too." I breathed, once I had regained control of my voice.
Grasping my backside firmly with one hand, he held me firmly against his hips and then began plunging into me, pounding against my throbbing pearl, and causing me to convulse and clamp around the length of him. I squeezed my trembling thighs against his backside, and rolled and gyrated my hips to meet with his thrusts, until my pelvis ached and my wet areas where nothing but a quivering mess of exhausted nerves.
He gave me one forceful thrust, while pulling my hips towards him, and I could feel him pulsating deep inside of me, while he let out a long groan. I could feel every inch of him convulsing within me, every vein and curve and bend and bulge, and I could feel the warm liquid spurting, warming me from the inside out. His trembling body collapsed on top of me, and I pulled down on his back, pushing our bodies together so they felt as one. I listened to the echoing sound of our breaths, and felt the thumping of our hearts as they synchronised, and slowed.
I danced my fingers over his sweat covered backside, and then on to his back and over his shoulders, twirling tiny circles on his flaming skin. Until the sound of his breathing was so slow and deep and regular I knew he has fallen asleep on top of me.
"Daryl?" I whispered.
He twitched a little and groaned.
"Beth?" He mumbled.
"We forgot to use a condom." I whispered.
Daryl caught his breathe, then pulled himself carefully away from and out of me, examining the extra wetness on my thighs as he exited.
He rubbed his eyes and covered his face with both hands.
"Fuck." He groaned into his palms.
"It's okay." I said as I tugged his hands away from his face. "It doesn't matter."
"It does matter." He said firmly, while holding my gaze. "Got too many kids as it is." He chuckled nervously.
I shook my head.
"No. What matters is…I feel better."
He managed a weak smile, and then tugged at the sheet that was under his knees and held it towards me.
"Just stand up and jump 'round a lil'." He suggested with a sly grin.
I took the sheet and dragged it off the sofa with me as I climbed off. I held the sheet between my legs and jumped as instructed allowing some of the fluid to leave me. I wiped along my thighs trying to clean up as much as possible and then looked up at Daryl who had his face pushed against the arm of the sofa, watching me with heavy eyes.
"Are you tired?" I asked.
"Yeah a lil'." He mumbled.
I strolled over and kissed him on the top of his head.
"You get back to sleep. I feel like writin'."
He didn't even reply. When I stepped away from him, his eyes were closed and he was breathing heavily, lost in sleep already. I took up my journal and began scribbling some of the words that were going through my head, feeling a sudden rush of creative energy.
When I had finished, I began humming the tune to the song while I thought the words over in my head. Then I took up my guitar and shook Daryl awake.
He groaned and then squinted up at me.
"I think I've finished my song now…"
He crossed his arms in front of him and rested his chin on his wrists.
"Let's hear it."
I perched my naked behind down on the sofa arm beside him and began strumming out my tune.
I'm a little bit drunk
You're a little bit stoned
I'm a little bit restless
We're both…alone tonight, to-nigh-igh-ight
A stumble in the dark, a whisper in my…ear
I'm biting on my nails
and waiting for you to get here, tonight, to-nigh-igh-ight
Forget the pastwe've had, forget the pain we've lived
Oh you and I are experts at pretending to be kids
Wash off all your grass stains, I'll pull off my shoes
Let's love like we are kids …all shiny and new
Babies have wrinkles and scars and tear stains
They're not afraid to cry when they're in pain
Babies and us could be the same
I'll tell you all my troubles
Just clear out my head
And lets play hide and seek upon the bed
Forget the day we've had, forget the pain we've lived
Oh… you and I are experts at pretending to be kids
Wash off all your grass stains, I'll pull off my shoes
Let's love like we are kids…all shiny and new
Chutes and ladders, game of chess
Connect the dots upon my neck
Climb the stairs, and take a chance
Pretend we're at some high school dance
The night will last and last and last
And kiss me though I'm not sure
leave my questions, it's like…
I've never done …this… before
Forget the past we've had, forget the pain we've lived
Oh you and I are experts at pretending to be kids
Wash off all your grass stains, I'll pull off my shoes
Let's love like we are kids… all shiny and new
I turned to my side and peeped over my guitar to see that he was now staring at me with eyes wide and alert.
"What do you think?"
"I'm thinkin'…"He took the guitar from my hands and placed it on the ground by my feet. "…That the night will last…and last…and last."
AN: So there you go. Beth has overcome her fear and we can get back to the raunchy sex scenes. I enjoyed writing this chapter. It was a lovely, heart warming, funny chapter, before I drag them through hell in the next one :)
I haven't been stoned since I was like 16, so I hope I portayed it well enough.
Please let me know what you like and what you don't. I have noticed readers dropping off, so if you don't like something tell me, and maybe...just maybe...I can fix it up.